ASYLUM - For all mankind

It's official: Randy Quaid and his wife Evi are the weirdest Hollywood couple of all time.

Where do we even start with this not-so-dynamic duo? Currently, they are hiding out in Canada, fighting extradition to the United States over charges that they squatted in their old house ... which they had sold. Oh, and they forfeited $1 million in bail instead of simply dealing with the charges and paying some fines.

Now, in an interview with Vanity Fair, Evi and Evil Beard Quaid say they are "being hunted" by "the Hollywood Star Whackers," who apparently think Randy is big enough of a celebrity to "whack."

The Vanity Fair profile details the slow decent into madness for our favorite Cousin Eddie from the National Lampoon "Vacation" movies: getting banned for life from a theater union for verbally abusing his fellow thespians, skipping out on a $10,000 hotel bill and showing up to court in pink handcuffs as a goof.

We're not sure why these two kooks, who apparently have a million dollars to spare, are pulling this crap about being targeted for assassination when they could simply have a high-priced lawyer get them off on probation, but we're looking forward to the next bizarre development in the case. Perhaps Jack Nicholson will spring Quaid from the brig, a la "The Last Detail" and Quaid will become the weirdest outlaw in American history.

Our happy hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.

People who snore loudly are at greater risk of developing heart disease, stroke and diabetes.

Researchers at the University of Pittsburgh tracked 812 adults over a three-year period and found that those who snore loudly and frequently were twice as likely to develop metabolic syndrome -- a combination of medical disorders that increases the chances you will develop cardiovascular problems, as well as diabetes.

Forty percent of men and 24 percent of women are chronic snorers and thus are at elevated risk of illness.

Happily, this finding has nothing to do with us, as we never snore (no matter what anybody tells us).

The holidays are a time for catching up with cousins, stuffing your face with food and, now, gratuitous lingerie. Canadian undergarment proprietor (how fancy does that sound?) La Senza is serving up the Cup Size Choir, a collection of lingerie-clad singers.

Labeled A-G(!), the high notes are based on the model's cup size. Don't expect any real-life Mariah Careys on here: The models got some serious help hitting the right note. The real goal is to show off the lingerie, which happens every time you press a key, and the model sings as she sinks into her plush, velvety bed.

The funky website currently has an automated version of "Deck the Halls," but the real fun is in making your own soundtrack by clicking on the keys and sharing your masterpiece with friends. "Jingle Bells" is cool, but we'd recommend recreating the "Beverly Hills Cop" theme, "Axel F." Keep reading to see a video introducing the ladies.

For children, Christmas is one of the most exciting times of the year. But prepare yourself, dear reader, for what you are about to see below. These particular children scream with maniacal excitement and victorious rage upon receiving their prized gifts, shaking the earth and frightening even the devil himself. Continue, if you dare ...

Here's what we knew about the nature of life as of yesterday: All life is carbon-based -- from an amoeba to a blue whale to a houseplant -- and has the same basic building blocks in its DNA. Those building blocks are carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen, phosphorous and sulfur; non-carbon-based life is impossible.

Here's what we know as of NASA's announcement this afternoon: There's also a life form on this planet that is arsenic-based, and unlike apple trees and puppy dogs and your mom, it uses arsenic in place of phosphorous.

This raises a lot of questions -- scientific, philosophical and otherwise. But what we mainly want to know is this: Are these things our enemies or what?

Keep reading to find out if we're about to go to war with this potentially evil, poison-based life form.

Our friends at FilmDrunk are reporting Ricky Gervais has been selected to host the 2011 Golden Globe awards. The British comic also hosted last year's Globes, receiving mixed reviews.

In fact, Gervais said he was surprised the Hollywood Foreign Press Association asked him to do the show again.

But not as surprised as everyone in the entertainment industry was last week, when the Academy Awards announced their completely outside-the-box selection of actors James Franco and Anne Hathaway as 2011 co-hosts.

Even if he didn't nail his hosting duties in 2010, Gervais does seem like he could deliver an entertaining and somewhat-edgy show.

As for Franco/Hathaway? Well, Franco is a pretty quirky dude with solid comic timing, and Hathaway is a fine actress, who is often very pleasing to look at.

What do you think? Which one of these "surprising" host selections makes you want to watch more?

If you're still laboring under the impression that grown-up "Star Wars" fans can't get lucky, you obviously are unaware of the burgeoning "Star Wars"-themed wedding phenomenon. Around the world, people are pairing off in ceremonies evoking various eras of George Lucas' epic.

In August 2008, Rebecca D'Madeiros and Bill Duda, both 36, got hitched in Portland, Ore., dressed as Mon Mothma and Admiral Ackbar (sexy!), with the ceremony performed by Yoda. A bikini-clad Princess Leia was the ring-bearer, and all 70 guests wore "Star Wars" costumes.

In May 2009, U.K. couple Duncan Thomson, 41, and Sammi Gardiner, 39, were wed -- as Han Solo and Princess Leia -- with Darth Vader rasping the vows. Thomson's 18-year-old son (dressed as Chewbacca) was best man, while Gardiner's 20-year-old daughter (clad in Queen Amidala's finest) served as maid of honor. The couple sent invitations to Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill, all of whom big-leagued. They also invited George Lucas; he didn't come, but he did send a personal RSVP from Skywalker Ranch.

Intrigued by the phenomenon, we decided to explore firsthand just why these fanboys (and girls) decide to tie the knot in this interplanetary fashion.

If you spend as much time watching TV as we do, you might have already seen a commercial for the Logitech Revue -- essentially a search engine for your TV -- featuring a balding, paunchy, "devoted fan" of Kevin Bacon. The character's home is packed with Bacon memorabilia -- including commissioned paintings of the actor.

On closer inspection (read: not close at all), it's clear it's actually Kevin Bacon portraying a man obsessed with Kevin Bacon. Shocker: He does a spot-on impersonation.

Keep reading to see for yourself.

Ever wanted to know what Oscar the Grouch looks like under that trashcan? Neither did we.

Either way, our quirky bare-bummed friends who brought us sexy Jesus were courteous enough to give us a peek at "Muppet Show Part Deux" in NYC Tuesday night. We're no expert, but we're pretty sure if Jim Henson could have given Miss Piggy snout nipples, you can bet your cookies he'd have done it. Keep reading to see what other characters showed us their not-so-furry side.


Jenny C'est Quoi as Miss Piggy

Is it a boat? Is it a lawnmower? No, it's ... both. Sort of, anyway.

An intrepid amateur inventor has created an amphibious contraption out of a lawnmower and an old boat.

That's right, a riding lawnmower and a leaky old boat. Cue what the machine's creator calls a "shortcutter": a car that goes 6 mph on land ... and slightly faster in water.

The name of this contraption's creator is John Hinton, and he's 76 years old. Not bad for a man of a certain age, no? We'd love to be up to such antics when we're in our 70s.

As you'd expect from its low speed, Hinton calls it a "work in progress." He's still perfecting it in his hometown of Horsham, West Sussex, U.K., with his friend Laurie Mayhead. Thus far, he's spent $1,500 on the project.

Believe it or not, he's already been in touch with Honda to make a production-line version. In the meantime, here's a clip of the vehicle in action.