Week 18-Lesson 18: Book Blurbs are Crucial

My editor just asked me for a list of potential book blurbers for my upcoming book Lessons from the Monk I Married, to be published March 2012 (as you can clearly see from the banner above). Here's the list I sent to her:

1. Elizabeth Gilbert

2. Oprah Winfrey

3. Eckhart Tolle

4. Dalai Lama

5. Marianne Willliamson

Oh, and maybe Obama, what do you think? Am I shooting too high?

Perhaps, but I'm going for it anyway. So what do you think? Anyone else I should ask? I'm trying to come up with a list for my editor. I'm racking my brain on this rainy Friday evening and it's a bit hard because there's so much do at the moment. I'm heading off to our family lake house in about one hour.

You see, this weekend is my pre-anniversary weekend. On May 10th I will be celebrating eight years with the monk I married. It's been 16 years since I first met him. He would be a lovely reviewer of the book, but alas, I don't think that would work since he's the one of the stars of the story.

Writing a book has not been such an easy process. I thought it would be a snap and it's actually been one of the hardest journeys of my life. I'm ready to give birth to the book and conceive of another. I feel like I've been working on it forever. I'm at the point where I'm not sure I can see it all clearly because I've been working on it for so long. Any other book writers out there who can relate?

One exciting detail is that my title, Lessons from the Monk I Married, will remain intact. There was a question of whether or not that would be THE ONE or not. A title can often change if you are publishing traditionally. Since mine is so imbedded on the internet already, it wouldn't be such a wise move to change it. Besides that, there is a whole section in my book about how the title came to me.

So my editor and the Seal Press team in Berkeley are starting to work on publicity for the book. I'm excited and scared at the same time. I feel like I've been talking about this thing forever and it seems like it may never happen.

Like it was all just a dream.

A very long dream....

One that I never woke up from.

But the reality is, this baby is coming. Just hold on folks. I promise, it's coming...

Book blurbs are of the essence right now....any ideas of possible authors that might be good for a book blurb for Lessons from the Monk I Married, a spiritual memoir of an American English teacher who falls in love and marries a Korean Buddhist monk? Can you think of any other authors who fall into this category or books of this nature?

I wish I had more time to write a longer post, but this is my reality right now. I'll be celebrating my anniversary while coming up with book blurbers, reworking a chapter and updating marketing statistics. Such is my life right now.

For all of you who have just boarded my band wagon, you must check out the 365 lessons I wrote for 2010 (see archives on sidebar). This was an extremely powerful year in my life and every single day of it was recorded on this blog in the form of lessons. Those lessons may very well turn into my second book...but for now I'm working on finishing up my memoir. In it, all the secrets and questions many of the readers here have asked me about will finally be revealed. The whole story will be out of bag in less than 10 months. Good Lord! More soon....I'm signing off....

P.S.-The book blurbs above are of my own making. Just getting ideas! ^_^!

Week 17-Lesson 17: Location is Important

We've been living on Puget Sound in Seattle for the past week. For those of you who have never been to Seattle, it's hard to describe this location and give it full justice. But I'll try....it's heaven! Puget Sound is a body of water that comes from the ocean and cuts right through the State of Washington. When you look at it, it feels like you are looking at the ocean, but the water is protected by the land surrounding it, so it is calm. From a distance, you can see this enormous stretch of ocean waters, behind that is a layer of Evergreen trees, and behind the trees are the snow-capped Olympic Mountains. So here we are in the city looking out at ocean, forest and a breath-taking mountain chain that on the clearest of days will have you believe you are in the Himalayas.

A few days ago, as I turned off a busy road and descended down a hill toward the Sound to the house where we are house sitting, I seriously lost my breath. The position of the mountains, now cast in a fiery orange from the slowly sinking sun, created an optical illusion of enormity and closeness. I tried to keep my eyes on the road, but clearly my eyes and my heart were elsewhere.

Inside this house, so close to this beauty, it's hard to do much other than see and feel. There is a vibe here. People tell me that place does not matter. That you can create your own space and place no matter where you live. I think that is true to a degree. You can make a hovel into a palace with a few candles, some incense, a nicely placed plant and a quick run of the vacuum cleaner. I know, I've done it in my own house and it makes such a difference. I've given love to that little shack. I've bathed it in my meditations, yoga practice, quiet reading, and soft music. I've weeded the garden beds and trimmed the tree branches and I feel a sort of peace there. But nothing changes the fact that it is three streets down from one of the busiest, craziest streets in Washington. Nothing changes the fact that on Saturday night I hear drug addicts retching outside my front door in an attempt to vomit out all the poisons in their bodies. Drug deals take place just outside my window on many nights. And it's hard not to notice the neighbor who, lost in a drunken stupor, imagines he is Rocky in the ring as cars without mufflers, which are frequent on my street, try to swerve around this one-man show. Yes, it's a little palace in the middle of chaos. But something does not feel quite right. I don't feel like I fit in this place.

My husband, the monk, spent much of his life in a temple. He tells me that place is so important. He said to me, "Why do you think they build temples in mountains along rivers?There is a science to choosing these sacred places and they have a lot to do with the principles of feng shui." For some reason, I'm not feeling the feng shui of my outside environment where I live. Instead of a house flanked by mountains and ocean, mine is flanked by a busy street of neons signs--the closest one is a giant neon toilet plunger.

So how do you go about getting this sacred environment and do you even want it? I know I do. I know that every single cell in my body is telling me I need to live in not only a sacred space, but a sacred environment. And I guess, if you live in the city and every single cell of your body tells you its where you need to be, then so be it.

My husband says there is a reason why we are here in this sacred house on Puget Sound. "There are no accidents in life," he says. As I sit here typing this blog post, I feel like all my cells are alive. I feel cocooned by the Sound, a holy womb. I feel protected and loved. I feel tremendous peace and a sense of really coming home. Yet, I'm here temporarily. We all are.

So some may argue and say, "Environment is NOT important, you create your own space." But I disagree. Environment IS EVERYTHING and no matter how sacred you make your individual space, you will be affected by what is around you and what is in your immediate environment.

It doesn't mean you should pack your bags this instant and head off to a cave. No, I don't believe that's how it works. I believe that when the time is right, you will find yourself exactly where you need to be in a location that is in tune with who you are.

Week 16-Lesson 16: Time Takes Care of Everything

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.--Art Buchwald

What's your biggest obstacle right now? Bills, too much work, an argument with a friend, family member or co-worker, what to cook for dinner? Big or small, there always seems to be a crisis of some sort. At least that's the way it appears. Have you ever noticed that whatever you were obsessing over last year at this time isn't even on the radar now? Can you even remember what the crisis of the day was last year? Sure, the very BIG crises--divorce, disease, a death in the family--are never entirely forgotten. We still feel pain from these, but the weight is not as heavy as it once was.

Time takes care of things. It doesn't mean you throw your to-do list out the window or sit on the sofa waiting for time to take care of dinner, but there's no need to obsess. Life is short. While it seems like we will all be here for an eternity, the truth is--WE WON'T. If you consider the history of the planet, our life span is like a drop in an earth-sized bucket.

That really put things into perspective, doesn't it?

Knowing that time will take care of everything, including YOU and your life as you know it, why not go with the flow and enjoy your life. There's a season for everything. Currently, in this part of the world, the season is spring. Finally the sun has decided to make a regular appearance after a solid six or so weeks of rain and, I have to confess, I didn't make much of a dent in my to-do list, but I had a fantastic day. I went out to lunch with my husband, watched a movie and then went on a leisurely walk around Greenlake. Now I'm sitting on the sofa typing this blog post at 6:18pm. I have dinner to cook, bills to pay, a book manuscript to edit and papers to grade, but I'm not going to obsess or worry about it. How does that help anything? Everything will get done in due time--all disagreements, present worries, job stresses, predicaments and difficult situations will be water under the bridge a year from now. Life WILL go on regardless of the situation you find yourself in. Live your moments the best you can and let time take care of the rest.

Week 15-Lesson 15: Let Go of Your Ego

If someone approaches you with boxing gloves, do you take the first punch? If not, do you put up a defense or duck to protect yourself from the blow heading right towards you? If the ego is attacked or threatened, it will always fight back. But you are not the ego, so why do you fight so hard to protect something which only exists in your mind.

Recently, I've felt a lot of challenges concerning the ego. What I've realized is this:

I'm not completely free from the ego because I still use words like "I," "mine," and "me."

But don't we all?

Today I decided to try and loosen my grip on those three little words that cause so many problems. Instead of saying, "I wrote a book about my life," I've decided to try "I wrote a book about a life." What a difference!

It started with a phone call from my editor. It was a good phone call full of great feedback and constructive criticism. Some of this criticism would have been hard to take had I not decided to drop the word "I."

But in the end, I suppose, it was a lost cause because I stood up for my voice. I wanted my voice, which I felt might have been lost a bit in the editing process, to be heard.

It's hard to tell our own stories and not be attached to the story we are telling, especially if it is the story of our lives. Even though I stood up for my voice, I'm learning to see the writing I am doing from different angles and different perspectives. I think this is important and I also think there is validity in much of the criticism we receive if we'd just LISTEN and get beyond this "I."

The irony of it all is that much of the story I am telling in my book is about learning to listen to the "voice" inside of you (and me) and to follow it. I think that this voice inside is very different from the ego. The voice inside knows much more than the ego we try so hard to protect and the images of ourselves that we create in our own minds and the minds of others.

The voice inside of you is very wise. It doesn't care about "how you look" to others. It is not interested in keeping up with appearances. In fact, when you choose to follow your inner voice or inner wisdom, you may feel like your outer world is falling apart. This is because your ego is fighting to survive. It doesn't feel comfortable with the changes going on inside you. It doesn't want to give up or lose its "shininess" or "good standing" on the outside.

But believe me, if you choose to follow that inner voice or inner wisdom and loosen up on the ego or the "I" a bit, you'll find that there's nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain.

Week 14-Lesson 14: You Can't Do Everything

It's Sunday. I have so much to do, I don't even know where to begin. It's 9:34pm and I think I'm about to call it quits in a half hour or so because, well, I can't do everything. This is the reality. I am not super human. I don't have 10 arms. As far as I know, there isn't a clone of me wandering around anywhere who could pick up some of the slack.

I received my copy edits back from my publisher. So much was changed and my editor needs my feedback so that they can get the ball rolling on my book. I worked on them a little, but not as much as hoped too. I'm teaching a new class at the college and it eats up a lot of my time and requires a bit more work. And then there's my lovely blog. Do you know what's funny? I think it was easier to keep up daily posts (I wrote 365 blog posts in 2010). With weekly posts, I tell myself, "I can do that later." Before I know it, later is here and the week is over. It's Sunday. There are no more days left. I didn't have that option when I was posting every day.

So here's my solution:

Do what you can and then give yourself a BREAK!

We are not machines. I need time for myself and I'm sure you do too, so take it easy. Lighten up. I'm writing this post for myself, but if you can also relate, then that's a bonus! It will all get done in due time and if it doesn't, maybe it wasn't that important anyway.

Enjoy your week! Even if you have a lot on your list, may you always find time to stop and nurture yourself. Off I go to read, drink a cup of tea, take a bath and then hit the sack. Until next week!!

Week 13-Lesson 13: Opening Up and Facing Change is Not Easy

I am actually on the first day of week 14, but this is a post for last week. I fell behind. Too much on my mind. The weather could be the reason for my contemplative mood. We've had endless rain in Seattle and I have felt gloomy and unable to do much of anything except the bare minimum. So much is changing and fear is creeping in. I feel I am losing my bearings.

We are creatures of habit, but everything I've been doing lately is brand new for me. It's exciting, but I am also afraid of losing who I once was. The question is, "Who was I?" I know that I'm changing every moment and there's nothing to really hold on to, but I have gotten used to a certain life and that life is shifting dramatically and it's a little scary.

I chose to open up my thoughts here. In January 2009, I started this blog. The first day I posted here I felt naked. I have always kept my writing tucked away in boxes in my closet. I have journals that date back to when I was ten years old. Writing was my therapy. It was a dear and private friend.

After I started to share my thoughts here, I began to receive comments. People were reading my blog and sharing my thoughts. I was no longer alone with my writing. I opened the door and let others in. In 2010, I decided to write 365 daily lessons. I wrote every single day. I wrote when I was feeling happy, sad, angry, lethargic...it's very hard to hide anything when you write every day. I wrote how I felt. I was honest.

More and more people started reading. I began to connect with many bloggers/writers and

they became *friends*. Even though I've never met many of you who have been regular readers here, I feel like I know so many of you.

There have been over 38,000 readers here. This number still shocks me. My blog helped me land an agent and a book deal. I am very grateful for that. It is a dream come true.

I wrote my life story in my book Lessons from the Monk I Married, which will be published March 2012 by Seal Press. I didn't leave much out. I told the entire story. A story which is so very personal. A story that before I would have kept locked away in my journal stuffed deep in my closet for no one else to read except me. This has gone beyond opening up here on my blog. This book of mine will be published throughout North America and eventually in other countries too.

So this is what's shaking me lately. The very fact that my story will be read by many people. I wonder if you will like it. I am afraid of sharing my story with you. I'm afraid of what people might think of me. But it's too late. I wrote it. I sent it too my publisher who signed off on it and sent it to the copy editor who in turn just sent me her edits. I have until May 2nd to go over the edits and then it goes to layout.

Why did I write my story? Why do I keep this blog? I don't really know. All I know is that I feel a strong pull in this direction. Some deeper sense of myself feels this is my purpose, even though I still want to revert back to my old ways. I want to hide. I want to live an anonymous life. But I know that is no longer "who I am."

I am here to share. I have something to say. There is a reason why I wrote my book. There is a reason why I let it all out of the bag. There's not much difference between you and me. We all try to keep up with appearances on the outside, but on the inside we are all fragile humans beings who each go through such an array of experiences. While those experiences may differ, there's something very universal about the lessons we arrive at.

So I'm going through a bit of a rough spot with all this newness and all this change. I know you understand. I know you have also been there.

Week 12-Lesson 12: Take a Break from Your Life

Now I know some of you out there will say that going on vacation does not cure any problems or stress that you may have had prior to leaving and I'd have to agree with you. No, you can't escape your life, but you can get a different view of it.

Do you know what has been the most miraculous this about taking a break from my life? It's realizing how much importance we place on the daily things we do and how easy it is to get lost in our own little daily worlds as if that's all there is out there. What does your daily world revolve around? Meditation? Yoga? Your kids? Your job? The Stock Market? Your husband? Wife? Fixing up you house? Volunteer work? Your dog? It really doesn't matter what it is. I'm not here to claim that one activity or concern is worthier than another. I'm just making an observation. For me, it is my book. For my husband, it's his yoga school. I didn't realize how attached I was to it all until I decided to STEP AWAY FROM MY LIFE. If you have a chance, I highly recommend it.

Now I don't mean to imply that by stepping away from your life you should leave it behind completely. Not unless you are prepared for that and are really ready to start again or start anew. You won't leave your problems behind by going on vacation, but you will certainly get a different perspective on things by stepping away every now and then. I think this is very healthy.

For instance, NOT ONCE have I been consumed with my book nor has my husband been concerned with his yoga studio since we've been here in sunny California. As a traveler, there are so many new sights and sounds to take in that there is no space in the brain for what used to be the major concern of the day. In our daily lives, especially if the schedule doesn't change much, it
is easy to get attached or fixated on our life situations. Sometimes mole hills become mountains because that mole hill is our life. While on the road, traveling or even just taking a break from the daily activities of life, we get a bigger picture. We become anonymous while traveling. We have no place, so every place and every new situation becomes our life. This is also happening in daily life, but we have become so accustom to and have set reactions to certain situations that nothing seems new.

Like a baby in new territory, my senses take in the smell of eucalyptus and jasmine, the sound of new bird calls, the taste of salt from the roaring ocean nearby, and the touch of prickly cactus. All new to me. I am out of my element. I am out of my comfort zone. I'm in a new zone. And in this new, yet temporary zone, I see how small the concerns of my daily life are. In this new space I see that it is all fleeting, it will all pass, and all we've ever have is this moment...right now! Although I have always known this, stepping away from my life helped me see that again.