| Source | Fark Headline | Comments | |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Photoshop this wood work (bigpicture.ru) | (10) |
| (Albany (NY) Times Union) |  |
Drunk dad lets 9 year old daughter drive car on mall parking lot. He must have figured she had a blood alcohol level less than him (timesunion.com) | (5) |
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Top 10 College Dropouts. One of these doesn't belong here (time.com) | (27) |
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News: the FDA is changing its guidelines for salmonella in chicken. Bad news: 7.5% of the tasty birds will still be allowed to test positive at processing plants. Fark: down from 20% (usatoday.com) | (44) |
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World's All-Time Sexiest Woman claims World's All-Time Greatest Invention ruined World's All-Time Greatest Source of Misery (dailymail.co.uk) | (55) |
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Woof woof woof woof woof, woof woof woof woof no parole woof woof, woof woof woof (nydailynews.com) | (30) |
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Site selling lice colonies to people who want to give the gift of crabs. Revenge is a dish best served crawling (news.com.au) | (49) |
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Two medical-marijuana businesses firebombed, drawing hundreds of spectators downwind (billingsgazette.com) | (136) |
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Eating nuts can lower cholesterol according to noted nut enthusiast, your mom (news.bbc.co.uk) | (19) |
| (wjactv) |  |
Man dies running himself over with his own SUV while checking his mailbox for a letter from Darwin (wjactv.com) | (88) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this going for a drive (shorpy.com) | (42) |
| (Some Mesocyclone) |  |
Ooooooklahoma, where the wind comes bringing in the pain (storm updates in comments) (kwtv.com) | (326) |
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Asian stink bugs pester Baltimore, yet provide much-welcomed relief from usual stench (upi.com) | (61) |
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BP: "Our new plan is the same as our last plan, but smaller." (businessweek.com) | (207) |
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Most bus seat belt laws exclude wheelchairs, with the assumption that people will just roll with it (hosted.ap.org) | (43) |
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"Residents called police because they were trapped in their home by a temperamental squirrel." (cleveland.com) | (75) |
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America's white people are fleeing the suburbs and heading back to the cities. Geez, make up your minds already (news.yahoo.com) | (385) |
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Teen inadvertenly wins first prize in javelin catching competition (cbsnews.com) | (81) |
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Gay escort's "baggage handling" job involved exactly the kind of "handling" that you thought it did (miamiherald.com) | (140) |
| (Collegiate Times) | |
The town of Blacksburg, VA wants to know when it will be getting its check for $5,579.27 from the Westboro Baptist Church for bodyguard services rendered (collegiatetimes.com) | (140) |
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Pelosi: We are all in favor of separation of church and state, unless we can pick up a few votes (foxnews.com) | (323) |
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UC Berzerkely students have been on a hunger strike for a week over Arizona's immigration law. Since they're Americans, this could take awhile (mercurynews.com) | (200) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Jilted lover accused of stabbing boyfriend in penis, claims he got all testy (thisislincolnshire.co.uk) | (32) |
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Usually, calling 911 to make a bomb threat against a school is effective. Doing it 20 times, one after the other, is overkill (with "I bought a children's toupee" mugshot) (rgj.com) | (40) |
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Today's fire & police recruits are too fat to pass fitness tests. Accompanying picture says "enlarge," though that goes without saying (usatoday.com) | (97) |
| (Press Herald) | |
It's spring, so that means it's time to cook fiddlehead ferns, which people actually eat even though there are perfectly good vegetables like carrots and beans already available at the grocery store (pressherald.com) | (101) |
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Lifehacker ponders on what to do with leftover wine, Farkers ponder on what the hell "leftover wine" could possibly be (lifehacker.com) | (143) |
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New York smoothie store will give you a dollar off a drink if you generate the energy to blend it by riding a stationary bike (nypost.com) | (109) |
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If you don't mind, Fannie Mae only needs another $8.4 billion in aid to get back on its feet. Do you mind? Thanks, you're really swell (online.wsj.com) | (155) |
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Facebook using the Bush defense on privacy issues (networkworld.com) | (152) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop these soft, curly tails (aaworms.com) | (37) |
| (Chronicle Herald) | |
The drydock didn't sink, it merely "dropped below normal operating levels" (thechronicleherald.ca) | (40) |
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Six absurd gender stereotypes that science says are true (cracked.com) | (420) |
| (Mid Hudson News) | |
Reporting to jail? Yeah, you'll want to leave the drugs and pills at home (midhudsonnews.com) | (35) |
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Not news: Man steals a car and runs from the cops. News: He tries to hide in a church. Fark: Church officials are mad at the cops for arresting him inside their church. "The police violated the sanctity of this house of worship." (nydailynews.com) | (140) |
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Attorneys for Casey Anthony say Orlando residents have been tainted by negative media so their search for potential jurors will begin on Mars (970wfla.com) | (143) |
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Scientists admit that perhaps encouraging a pregnant woman to keep eating until she develops her own gravitational field is a bad idea (abcnews.go.com) | (118) |
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Mystery drive-by shooting reveals the ugly underbelly of gardening (timesonline.co.uk) | (34) |
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Everybody gets hungry for finger food at a bar. It's just that with most of us, it doesn't involve the cops and paramedics (cbs13.com) | (25) |
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"It's not every day you see a giant cartoon dog go on the rampage after trying to break into a prison" (telegraph.co.uk) | (48) |
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Man convicted after shooting himself in the groin. In a related story, it's now a criminal offense to be an idiot (thedenverchannel.com) | (60) |
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With the economy in the toilet, people are doing whatever odd jobs they can. Which isn't a news story unless somebody can magically make up a new name for it--oh wait, they just did (abcnews.go.com) | (156) |
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Police won't investigate the largest mortgage fraud in Canadian history since that would be a lot of work (cbc.ca) | (84) |
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Chinese man spends 10 years in prison for murder after interrogaters used hot-sauce infused water and fireworks to extract a confession. Then it gets weird (news.bbc.co.uk) | (86) |
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"However, his girlfriend, fueled by Grey Goose, apparently believed she might be bulletproof" (seattletimes.nwsource.com) | (94) |
| (wzzm13.com) |  |
High school students build a house for a family of Liberians. I hope they put in a lot of bookshelves (wzzm13.com) | (101) |
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Photoshop this converted caravan (s.wsj.net) | (26) |
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Eight-foot alligator teaches wrestler "Swamp Master" what he thinks of that nickname (tampabay.com) | (65) |
| (Lincoln Journal-Star) |  |
Police flush out Lincoln, Nebraska's infamous toilet paper bandit, who was number two on their most wanted list (journalstar.com) | (40) |
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The human experiment is finally coming to an end (dailymail.co.uk) | (275) |
| (News4Jax) | |
Fire breaks out during 4-year-old daughter's birthday party. Daddy saves day by rushing into burning house, rescues birthday cake (news4jax.com) | (43) |
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Man drives burning truck to fire station to try out their new curb-side service (hosted.ap.org) | (29) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this botanical wonder (upload.wikimedia.org) | (26) |
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