Destiny’s Child — Say My Name.

On December 12th, I wrote President Barack Obama a letter and wrote a Seminal diary about the letter and my frustrations with his adminstration.  In my letter – sent via the White House website – I checked the box that I wanted a response.  If ya haven’t read that diary, scurry on over and take a gander at it so we are all up to speed.

*humming Jeopardy think song*

Ya back?  Great – ya didn’t miss a thing.

On December 23rd, I received a reply.  I gotta say, any good will the White House intended in its response was lost in the salutation:

Dear Friend

I gave my full name in my letter and it is not in the salutation.  I was a legal secretary before I joined the force.  I used macros in correspondence in the 1970’s to personalize form letters.  I know how much my input was valued when the White House phones it in and doesn’t even bother to use my name in its reply.

Let’s see what that response was:

Thank you for writing to me.  I appreciate hearing from you and value your input.

Each day, I am moved by the messages I receive from people across the country.  Far too many Americans are struggling–falling behind on mortgage payments, coping with illness, or losing a job without warning.  My Administration is working to address the serious challenges our Nation faces.  I am committed to taking immediate steps that generate job creation and economic recovery, and I am determined to make investments that lay a new foundation for real and lasting progress.

To build this new foundation, we need health care reform–this year–that reduces costs, protects health care choices, and assures quality, affordable care for all Americans.  I encourage you to visit www.HealthReform.gov to learn more about my commitment to enacting comprehensive health care reform in 2009.

I am also dedicated to building a clean energy economy that creates millions of jobs, helps us achieve energy independence, and reduces pollution as we tackle the effects of global warming.  Please visit www.Recovery.gov to read about the more than $60 billion in clean energy investments my Administration has made to jump-start our economy and build the jobs of tomorrow.

Photo by pasukaru76

Inspired by BT’s recap of National Review’s predictions for 2009, I have decided to compile my own list of wishful conservative predictions for the new year:

o 2010 is coldest year in recorded human history, proving once and for all that there is absolutely nothing wrong with Earth’s climate.  Al Gore issues public apology and retires to ice floe.

o Yemeni terrorists blow up several planes in worst terrorist attack on U.S. since 9/11.  Senate Homeland Security Committee investigation reveals that they were waved through security despite being on no-fly list and wearing bulky explosive vests, because politically-correct TSA agents didn’t want to engage in “racial profiling.”

o DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano forced to resign; Senate Homeland Security Committee Chair Joe Lieberman handpicks Dangerstein to replace her.

o Researchers interview recently divorced couples in every state where gay marriage has been legalized, find that 71% of them split because institution of marriage no longer has any meaning.

o Employee Free Choice Act squeaks through Congress; liberal bloggers enraged by compromises which make unionizing more difficult and require workers to pay dues directly to employers.

o Labor Secretary Hilda Solis forced to resign; replaced by Rick Berman.

o A grateful and thriving Iraq elects George W. Bush president and agrees to contribute 50,000 troops to occupation of Afghanistan, saying, “Hey, it’s the least we can do.”

o Iran launches nuclear missiles at United States of Iraq.  President Obama refuses to intervene until Congress forces his hand by passing McCain/Lieberman Declaration Of Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran.

o Secretary Of State Hillary Clinton forced to resign; replaced by General Petraeus.

The grammar police have a point: you don’t say your birth year is “one thousand nine hundred fifty three” if you were born in 1953. So let’s kick off this New Year right and discard the superflous “two thousand” in our nomenclature for the year. Just say “twenty-ten!”

The National Association of Good Grammar – essentially a guy named Tom Torriglia and some friends who also paid attention in English class – say people have been mispronouncing the year for 10 years.

“NAGG is here to put everybody back on the correct path,” Torriglia said by phone from his home in San Francisco. “We lost the battle when we went from 1999 to 2000 – but now we’re hoping to win the war.”

The “20″ should have been pronounced “twenty” all along, he said, pointing out that every year in the 20th century was pronounced “nineteen something.”

” ‘Twenty’ follows ‘nineteen.’ ‘Two thousand’ does not follow ‘nineteen.’ It’s logical.”

Probably the challenge has something to do with Americans hardly ever using the almost archaic term “aught” for “zero.” (And don’t get me started on “zed!” — which means “Z” for pete’s sake.)

“It was never ‘two thousand nine’ for me,” he sighed. “It was always ‘twenty aught nine.’ ”

So the people hawking next year’s car models, the newscasters on TV and anyone else with a reason to say “2010″ aloud should embrace good grammar and say “twenty ten” right now, Torriglia said.

As long as one guy gets to make rules like this, I’d like to rule right now on the name of the decade. Many Twits have called the new decade “The Tweens” (too cute) or “The Teens” (not really, since it will be three long years until a year with ‘teen’ in its name). Neither of these works as a name for the entire decade.

The only term that applies to the entire decade? Every year until 2020 begins with One, so it’s the best name.

The Onesies.

Please start calling this decade The Onesies, okay?

Update: This Facebook group is dedicated to the proposition that “twenty-ten” sounds cooler. So there’s that.