Pop Quiz!

news reporter

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was The Times… we seem to live in a period wherein every newspaper wants to put a pun in the headline, whether it is for a Feature story or a News story.

For this edition of the Weekend Word Play, your assignment is to make up a headline with a pun in it, and craft it in such a way that we know what the story is about. Think of the NY Post’s famous headlines, like the classic: Headless Woman Found in Topless Bar.

We call this assignment All The News That Gives Me Fits.

In the comments, #2 lead pencils only.

Happy Hour News Briefs

Drink-up, Bitchez!

Rev. Fishsticks speculates that The Kenyan Usurper would arrest WWII vets if he could, and chain them to a cot.

  • Crazy People – So following yesterday’s nutter trying to car-crash through the front gates of the White House, today we have people self-immolating on the Mall. (Business Insider via Scissorhead RitZ)
  • Stomp! – Texas Rep. (where else, eh?) Steve Stockman is well informed and dispassionate and never indulges in hyperbole:
  • Mystery Poll - National Organization for Marriage (founded by ethics-challenged unwed mother Maggie Gallagher) says that polls show 65% of Americans are opposed to same-sex marriage. But, um, what polls show that? They don’t say, so who knows! Trust them, they’re experts. (NOMBlog)

Day 4 of the Shut Down

rat fucking

Charlie Pierce has a write-up on the long and storied history of rat-fucking, which is quite literally where we are today.

There are two basic philosophical foundation stones to ratfucking. The first is that political sabotage for its own sake is a worthy enough goal. There doesn’t necessarily have to be an obvious purpose or obvious logic behind it. Everything is simply tactics. Those tactics either work or they don’t. To believe this, of course, one must first believe that all politics is a essentially a zero-sum game of power; you win and the other guy loses. Who rules? Period. One cannot for a moment contemplate the notion that politics — and therefore, government — has anything to do with the public good. I trust I don’t have to spell out the parallels between this elemental basis of ratfucking and what the Republicans are about in their current campaign of vandalism. This has now entered a time in which we are seeing sabotage for sabotage’s own sake. Remember, the conservative rump faction has brought this shutdown upon the country because its members refuse to agree to a federal budget that contains lower discretionary spending than even Paul Ryan contemplated. That’s because now — as Congressman Marlin Stutzman pointed out clearly yesterday — this isn’t about the budget, or even about economics, it’s about who wins and who loses. It’s about whether or not John Boehner, the castrato Speaker Of The House, can keep his job. The public, as was said during our previous Gilded Age, be damned.

There’s so much good writing in that quote, and the rest of the article carries on in that vein. I had been working on a long piece along those lines, but this is the Ur Text. Go read it.

News Briefs

News you can use all day

Politically toxic PA Governor Tom Corbett gives us “a better analogy for same-sex marriage.”

  • Cloud Computing - Adobe Corporation in downtown San Jose (the Capitol of Silicon Valley) was hacked and approximately 3 million of their customers’ accounts were compromised. Adobe recently switched their business model from selling software to a subscription service with monthly payments to use their products. (Raw Story)
  • Phone Calls - The Park Ranger who was berated by Rep. Randy Neugebauer (R-TX, of course) yesterday received an personal phone call from VPOTUS Joe Biden saying that he was proud of the way she handled the confrontation. (Livewire)
  • Get the rope and a horse - Wednesday’s closed-door meeting where high-pitched squealer Sen. Ted Cruz received an earful from his Republican colleagues, was described by one senator as a “lynch mob.” (Livewire)

Happy Hour News Briefs

News with a twist

Rev. Fishsticks has very informed listeners.

  • …is good for the gander - Rep. Randy Neugebauer (R-TX, of course) decided to berate a Federal Park Ranger for not letting vets into the WWII memorial. And then a furloughed federal employee takes the Congressman to task. Go Watch – it’s pretty fun.
  • Why the shutdown, and no Retraction - Rep. Greg Walden, who serves as chair of the National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC) said, on record,

    “Listen.We have to do this because of the Tea Party. If we don’t, these guys are going to get primaried and they are going to lose their primary.”

    Freedlander made clear to TPM in an email that he was not running a correction.

  • Following the shooting in DC today, THIS:

    Stop the violent rhetoric President Obama, Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi. #Disgusting
    — Tim Griffin (@TimGriffinAR2) October 3, 2013