Pat Gallagher, 01/07/13

Freelance Writer

For your reading pleasure, here's our "Top 10 Hollywood A-List Wild Animals, Digital Animals, Domestic Farm Animals and Pets" list.

Steve Young, 01/07/13

Talk show host, author, oped-columnist, television writer, and filmmaker

Here are a few maxims on the year that -- thank God -- has passed on from natural causes... and embarrassment.

Corinne Purtill, 01/09/13

An American abroad

I have been on the record with my support of McConaughey for the Oscar since I saw this movie. Who else is on deck for this one? Robert De Niro? Philip Seymour Hoffman? That's nice. It's McConaughey's year.

Maureen Ryan, 01/10/13

TV critic, The Huffington Post

Season 2 of Girls doesn't start off nearly as strongly as Season 1 finished, but I'm optimistic about where it's heading. Girls isn't consistent or perfect: Sometimes it's distractingly disorganized and frankly, a bit full of itself and other times, it's euphoric fun.

Donna Highfill, 01/09/13

Writer, Coach, Humorist, and Change Consultant

As President Bush and the First Lady descended the stairs of the plane, I was amazed at how thin they were in person. Of course, at this stage in my pregnancy, everybody looked extremely thin.

Jimmy Kimmel and Zane Wilemon, 01/09/13

Mozilla Firefox will give $50,000 dollars to the Crowdrise fundraiser that raises the most money for their nonprofit cause by the end of tomorrow, January 10. Everything was cool until Ed Norton started coming in hot.

Toni Nagy, 01/09/13

tonibologna.com

According to plastic surgeons all over the world, my vagina is an unholy mess and needs to be fixed with plastic surgery. You are probably wondering, "Wait, what is wrong with her fur burger?"

Ronna Benjamin, 01/09/13

Managing Editor/Boston www.betterafter50.com

For about a year now, I have been searching for a new memory tool. Something that would be relentless until my task was completed. In January, 2012, the "Today" show reported that mental capacity starts to diminish at the average age of 45. I wrote that down, and I'm glad I did.

Andy McDonald, 01/08/13

Comedy Writer, www.iamandymcdonald.com

Don't embarrass the Earth in front of guests. Remember that party when you and the Earth were on the same Pictionary team and you called the Earth stupid because he couldn't get the word "sorrow"? That's a tough Pictionary word, give the Earth a break.

Michael Sigman, 01/08/13

Writer/Editor; Music Publisher

Some steak-of-the-art snobs say that the mere ordering of steak in a restaurant is an art form. Others apply the term "art" to proper grilling. That's overkill. But we can all agree not to emulate my friend's request that a waiter serve his steak tartar "medium rare."

Elizabeth Zephyrine McDonough, 01/09/13

Writer, Filmmaker, Actress, Notary Public

I had my own personal encounter with "Paris Syndrome." When I first saw the toilet, I never would've guessed that it was going to eat me alive -- which is not to say that it didn't look suspicious.

John DeBellis, 01/08/13

Former writer for SNL, The Tonight Show, Politicaly Incorrect, and wrote and directed The Last Request

The first heckler I ever encountered yelled, "What's your day job?" I replied, "This is the first time I've ever been onstage, could you please come back and heckle me when I'm more experienced?" He shut up.

Carol Hartsell, 01/07/13

Senior Comedy Editor, The Huffington Post

I've yet to hear a good defense of heckling. What makes comedy thrilling is it is a live experience where, yes, anything could happen. But as an audience, our job is not to make that "anything" happen, it's to be witnesses to it.

Marlo Thomas, 01/08/13

Award-winning actress, author and activist

January is a pretty show-offy month when it comes to national holidays -- from President's Day to Martin Luther King's Birthday to that star-spangled, quadrennial pageant known as Inauguration Day. But did you know that during the first month of the year we also pay homage to popcorn? And squirrels? And kazoos?!

James Napoli, 01/08/13

Satirist

In a move that many neighborhood councils are calling "encouraging," new federal legislation has been rushed through that requires anyone caught simply tossing a used Christmas tree on the sidewalk for someone else to deal with to be forced to eat it.

Mark Morford, 01/09/13

Columnist, SFGate/San Francisco Chronicle; Author, 'The Daring Spectacle: Adventures in Deviant Journalism', ERYT yoga instructor

It's true, isn't it? Moderation is a joke. Moderation is un-American. Moderation in any healthy, compassionate sense in this year of our extremely hot and imminently riotous 2013 is nothing short of a goddamn modern miracle.

Gideon Resnick, 01/09/13

Undergraduate, Northwestern

It would be easy to blame the film's shortcomings on its found footage aesthetic. The choice to shoot A Haunted House like this really didn't help Mr. Wayans' cause.