Sorry Audrina Patridge, you are now my number two most favorite fake reality star whose show I’ve never seen and I’ve never heard talk. Hands down Kristin Cavallari has stepped up her game and stomping on Audrina with those legs.
Sure Kristin’s face looks a little bit like she’s prairie doggin’, but I’m sure Dr. 90210 can take care of that in an afternoon.
Kim Kardashian and her sister Chyna were pounding the pavement this week promoting their Quick Trim scam that people are so eager to try because they’re fucking retards and will do anything that a celebrity says.
A quick search of the internet for Quick Trim reviews landed me some killer stories about people having the shits and not being able to leave the house for fear of shitting their pants. Well, that’s one way to drop 5 pounds quickly. Or maybe that is the diet. Kim just shits a lot and then calls up US Weekly and asks them if they want to do a story on how she just shit out 5 pounds after doing the Quick Trim regime.
Well as a public service announcement, I’ll tell you how to lose some weight you lazy fucks. Get off your couch and get in the gym 5 days a week. Lift weights and run. Eat more protein and less carbohydrates and fat. Stop drinking soda and mixed drinks loaded with sugar because you’re too much of a pussy to just drink liquor the way it was meant to be drank – neat.
The best part about the Don Chavez diet is that it costs you maybe $29 a month for the gym membership. You won’t shit your brains out and you’ll drop at least 10 pounds in two weeks. If you don’t I’ll give you a 100% refund on my free diet program.
Jessica Biel looks like a woman in training. For what I don’t know. A movie or TV show? A 3.5 minute sex session with a blogger? I don’t know, I can only speculate.
This is Jessica White, who is supposedly banging T.O. You know what’s funny about this? It kinda looks like someone photoshopped T.O.’s face onto a hot chick’s body. See, now I’ve ruined it for you. But if you’re able to block out the TO face images, I suggest you check out the rest of Jessica’s gallery here, because that Miami jersey isn’t a jersey. It’s body paint.
Earlier in the week, I was on a rampage with photos from the Metropolitan Museum of Art and some soiree they had with chicks like Gisele, Katy Perry, Blake Lively, etc. in attendance. One such chick that I didn’t post was Doutzen Kroes because someone did a shitload of blow and decided to send her out dressed in a clown suit. She looked so awkward that I could bring myself to post the photos and ruin the image of her being a flawless POA.
So instead I offer you these photos of Doutzen Kroes. The Doutzen Kroes we all love and adore, and have a room in our house covered by cut out images of her from magazines plastered over every square inch of the floor, walls and ceiling.
Right fellas! Fellas?
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