First Draft

Your Tea Party Coverage Won't Get You Into Heaven

Something that bugged me all day yesterday is the idea that this nonstop tea party convention coverage was some kind of attempt to no longer ignore all those rich white middle-aged folks who've been ignored for so long in American society. An attempt to cover the concerns of those whose main concern is bitching about their concerns not being covered. An attempt to do what teabaggers like to complain people in power don't do: actually listen and respond.

I mean, logically, someone's chief beef is that you don't pay attention to them, so you pay some attention, and then they'll see that you've done that and stop accusing you of not paying attention. Stop calling you biased. Stop calling for you and all your colleagues to be murdered in your beds.

At least that's how it would work on Reality Planet.

Not so much, on Teabag Moon:

Conservative publisher Andrew Breitbart had some harsh words for media members Saturday saying, "It's not your business model that sucks, it's you that sucks."

Addressing the National Tea Party convention in Nashville, Tennessee, Breitbart accused the press of "contempt for the American people."

"In order to create the perception that the minority is the majority and the majority is not just the minority, but a bad, racist, homophobic, all those buzzwords that they learned in the freshman orientation class at Wesleyan, are used as weapons to try to destroy you and intimidate you to not speak up and to speak your mind," said Breitbart to an enthusiastic crowd.

"And your days of doing this are over"

Whine, whine, whine:

Berman showed how attendees shared the bizarre assessment, running soundbites of a man affirming “I believe he is a socialist ideologue” and a woman asserting “You just read his history, he’s a Marxist,” before finding another man to agree that calling the President's supporters illiterate “was probably a little harsh.”

Berman concluded: “One of the goals of this convention is to turn this movement into a political force. The question is, does the harsh rhetoric keep them on the fringe?” Sort of like the media’s condemnation of Americans with which they disagree marginalize their influence?

On the up side, at least ABC News sent a reporter to cover the convention, unlike CBS and NBC, neither of which have covered it this week.

Right. They sent somebody, but they weren't uncritically praiseful, so OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! No matter how many reporters you send, it isn't going to get them to stop saying shit like Rope, Tree, Journalist. It isn't going to stop them from blaming you for everything from Al Gore's fat gut to the record snowfall on the East Coast to the fact that onion dip has calories in it. It isn't going to make them calm down and they aren't going to be able to see how very, very hard you're trying because YOU ARE BESIDE THE POINT.

I keep saying bullies don't bully to improve you, they bully because that's what bullies do. You can change your clothes, change your hair, agree with everything they say, give them your whole week's lunch money at the start of the week. They're not going to stop. You're incidental. It's not about you. It's about them, and the unholy rage they need to keep fueling to stay awake in the world. There is nothing you can do to please them because to them, you barely exist.

A.

Dodge Fail

I am attempting to imagine the female version of that ad. Something like:

I will make your favorite meal every night, regardless of whether meat loaf makes me want to vomit.

I will raise your children, nurse them through countless illnesses, teach them their multiplication tables, get them into college, and all the while listen without complaint as you are praised for knowing how to zip the child's coat and hold him/her without disaster.

I will pick up your filthy underwear from the bathroom floor.

I will take the garbage out after you forget for the fiftieth time.

I will walk your dog.

I will clean your fish tank.

I will laugh when you belch and fart. Every time. That will never stop being funny.

I will load the dishwasher for you because you are a man, and cannot be expected to learn how, because your penis gets in the way.

I will be nice to your friends, even the one who hits on the waitress in front of his wife every time we go out to the goddamn Chili's. 

I will pretend it's cute that you hate my TV shows, and say nothing about the 45 hours of cartoons on the DVR.

I will lie to my friends about the size of your penis.

I will talk to my friends about the size of your penis.

I will only do so when you give me permission to see my friends. And then I will only talk about your penis.

PENIS.

Though I suppose in any female version of the ad, the car would have to be pink. Sparkly pink with little kitties and bows on it. And RUFFLES.

And you know, let's get this out of the way: If you are with someone who pressures you to say things you don't mean, whose behavior tells you you are less than an equal partner in the relationship, who treats you more like a pet or a houseplant than a person, get the fuck out of that relationship right now. I know women who treat their husbands like children, or employees, who think it's cute to belittle their spouses in front of others and who pass off cutting remarks as little jokes about how dumb boys are.

Guess what? Those women are assholes. There is nothing inherently male about being put upon. There is nothing honorable about being with someone who treats you like crap. It isn't funny. It isn't cute. If you don't feel valued you need to have a talk with your spouse, your therapist, your family, and yourself about what you need and what you want and what everybody is willing to do to stop the fail. But once and for all, let's quit pretending that it's the natural order of things for women to be contemptuous and men to just take it because it's estrogen or something.

Pardon the horrible pun, but what a dodge. Stick up for yourself, for chrissakes. You're in a relationship with an asshole, don't shove that off onto traditional gender roles and whatever like that's how it's supposed to be. Quit giving yourself, and more importantly the asshole who is emotionally abusing you, the out that you're from Mars and Venus and can't possibly be expected to do any better. Learn to load the goddamn dishwasher and quit being such a screaming idiot about it. And you know what? If after the 50th time he doesn't put the seat down, maybe decide how much fun it actually is having that fight, because if he's not doing it by now, it's clearly important that it not be done.

This whole thing drives me wild, not because I really think most men & women are like this. This stereotype of the domineering domestic female is far more a creation of the advertising industry than it is reality. But it drives me wild because people seeing that stereotype then reinforce the bullshit in order to feel like they're fitting in. Which leads to things like a meatspace conversation last week, in which a friend's husband bought a car and a mutual acquaintance asked his wife why she "allowed" this. Or when relatives jokingly call me Mr. A's  boss. We start talking in this horseshit shorthand because it's easier, because everyone knows the cues and knows where to laugh so as not to make anyone uncomfortable, and pretty soon you've got lots of unhappy people who think their unhappiness just happened to them and that it's okay.

It's not fair to women, it's not fair to men, it's not fair to anybody.

See also Echidne.

A.

Money for Journalism

If only there was some around.

GOD DAMN YOU INTERNET.

A.

Today on Tommy T's Obsession with the Freeperati - Dolchstosslegende II edition

Good morning everyone!  Well, since apparently people can't remember back any further than a year ago, the Repubs are doing well in all the Rasmussen polls (imagine that!) and teabaggy hope and change is in the air for them.   What could possibly go wrong?

Well, as none other than Dennis Miller once opined, they're beginning to knife each other over the length of their crew cuts. RINO, RINO, who's got the RINO?

Well, for starters - It's General Betray-us!!

Petraeus calls gunscope inscriptions "disturbing"
Reuters ^ | Jan. 21, 2010

Posted on Thursday, January 21, 2010 11:04:32 PM by Free ThinkerNY

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. General David Petraeus said on Thursday it was "disturbing" that a manufacturer had embossed biblical citations on rifle scopes sent to Afghanistan and Iraq, and the firm announced it would voluntarily halt the practice.

"This is a big concern to the Army and the Marine Corps, who have contracted for these particular sites," said Petraeus, the head of U.S. Central Command, noting the religious sensitivities American forces face in the two Muslim countries.

"This is of serious concern to me and to the other commanders in Iraq and Afghanistan because, indeed, it conveys a perception that is absolutely contrary to what it is that we have sought to do," Petraeus told a forum at the Center for Strategic and International Studies.

"It is disturbing to us, frankly, that this was done," he added.

President Barack Obama has sought to convince the Muslim world that the U.S. fight against al Qaeda militants should not be viewed as a war against Islam.

Former President George W. Bush heightened those concerns shortly after the September 11, 2001, attacks on New York and Washington when he referred to his war on terrorism as a "crusade," a remark critics warned raised images of Christian knights attacking Muslim cities during the Middle Ages.

.

To: Free ThinkerNY

What is all the fuss about? The scope is meant to kill some Islamic terrorist SOB. What does any inscription have to do with it. Here we go again with PC idiocy.

5 posted on Thursday, January 21, 2010 11:09:50 PM by Dapper 26

Sir, I believe you just called the Commander of CENTCOM an idiot.

At least you didn't call him a retard.

To: Free ThinkerNY

Etu General?

Yes - him, too.

One would think you would have much more on your mind in dealing with an enemy bent upon the death and destruction of all we stand for, including freedom of speech, than to even comment on such a trivial matter.

WTF are we coming to?

Our senses?

Damn!

Just Damn!!!!

7 posted on Thursday, January 21, 2010 11:11:25 PM by ImpBill ("America ... where are you now?" signed, a little "r" republican!)

.

To: Free ThinkerNY

These people are insane, that's all. Petraeus , McChrystal, Casey care more about being PC--to the extreme--than they care about our soldiers' lives!

Nothing short of a revolution is going to restore our country to sanity.

9 posted on Thursday, January 21, 2010 11:12:24 PM by molybdenum ( Now go do the right thing!------Dr Laura)

Um - dipshit - Petraeus, McChrystal, and Casey  have all the tanks, artillery,  and attack helicopters. 

You have a keyboard and a Free Republic account. 

Guess who wins?

To: Free ThinkerNY

After 3 decades, Trijicon has succumbed to the pressure and is removing the Bible Verse references:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_military_weapons_bible_references

I don’t know what’s worse; the freakin’ godless Libtards who made a big deal out of this, or the gutless Christians at Tijicon(sic) who gave up without a fight...

Cheers

14 posted on Thursday, January 21, 2010 11:17:24 PM by DoctorBulldog

Now it's the "gutless Christians at Trijicon".  The list gets longer every day.

.

FRANK: and dear God protect our dear men on the field of battle,  that they might return home to their dear ones...and dear God protect our Supreme Commander on the field...and  our Commander and Chief in Washington D.C.

HAWKEYE: Frank were you in this religious kick at home or did  you crack up over here?

DUKE: Ah Frank, how long does this show go on?

FRANK: It gets longer all the time, now I have your soul to pray for and Captain Pierce's.

.

To: Free ThinkerNY

This is bullshit. Petraeus should know better. He's joining the argument on the wrong side.

This is Political Correctness run amok.

Frankly, it's also must be offensive to God as well. There once was a time when when we wanted Him on our side and honored Him. If our Founding Fathers were still around, they would probably grab their muskets off the wall and head out to stop this madness. And they would probably take their Bibles with them as well.

Maybe we should take IN GOD WE TRUST off our coinage as well just to please CAIR and the God-hating pantywaists that infest this country,... and I hate to say it,... our "Defense" Department, too?

F*ck them! God save us from these fools.

24 posted on Thursday, January 21, 2010 11:35:34 PM by Gritty (In the War with Jihadism, identifying the threat is at the heart of success or failure-Walid Phares)

And now,  the Commander of CENTCOM is a "fool".

Maybe you could take out a full-page ad in the Times and try to warn people?

To: Free ThinkerNY

No, General dipshit. Disturbing is the PC claptrap your Pentagon put out as a “report” about the Fort Hood jihadist scumbag POS.

28 posted on Thursday, January 21, 2010 11:51:10 PM by pissant (THE Conservative party: www.falconparty.com)

        "I still like 'upstart' the best."

Of course, there's always some Freeper who thinks he can stand athwart the moron express yelling "Stop!"....

To: Free ThinkerNY

Reading the thread I’m struck by two things.

First, the general lack of understanding and misuse of the concept “Politically Correct”. Pleasing western PC sensibilities isn’t the issue. Dealing with the culture in foreign lands we are fighting is what we are attempting.

Second, the eagerness and gusto that FR employs to throw the General under the bus. A man who was nearly worshiped just a year ago. The man many wanted for president. Nobody wanting to give him even the smallest benefit of the doubt as an expert on what is needed to fight our wars in Islamic territories, and what might hinder our efforts and unnecessarily endanger US troops.

I hope the General isn’t crowding Sarah Palin under that bus, where so many consigned her yesterday.

49 posted on Friday, January 22, 2010 5:59:54 AM by tlb

Palin? Under the bus?

"Our Sarah"???  Say it ain't so!

The ugly truth after the jump...

We Are The Champions

It's been an amazing 24 hours in New Orleans. We elected a good and competent man, Mitch Landrieu, as Mayor in a landslide. And the Saints won the Super Bowl. I missed the Super Bowl crack van but was there in spirit. I watched the game at my friend Mark Folse's house and we, of course, toasted the memory of our dear departed friend Ashley Morris. We miss you, big mon, but we know you were with us in spirit. Hmm, this is all sounding very, uh, spiritied...

I'll let Freddie, Brian and the boys say the rest:

Super Van

Chitter chatter away. Posts in the van belong to their posters. The ferrets are responsible for nothing.

Update: Van closed! Thanks to all for partying with us!

A.

Tea Party Stenography

WaPo:

NASHVILLE -- The 600 delegates at the National Tea Party Convention feel taxed to death, ignored by their elected representatives and the media, and appalled at the federal government's spending -- and there are millions of Americans just like them.

Lord knows nothing makes me feel ignored by the media like a top story in the Washington Post agreeing that there are "millions of Americans" just like me. I mean, why not begin your story by validating everything your subject has to say, which is that they are oppressed, persecuted and alone? That's the best way to demonstrate their persecution!

The story only goes downhill from there.

It's a critical moment for a movement that is unmistakably people-powered, that has been deliberately left leaderless to give voice to all frustrations.

Sigh.

Jeff Link, a luxury jewelry maker from New York, says that President George W. Bush started the fiscal policies that ruined the economy and that President Obama is making them worse, a belief shared by many here. But, he says, looking at the crowd, which is overwhelmingly white and middle-aged, "it saddens me not to see this gathering more diverse."

Sample follow-up questions, either unasked or unanswered: Why isn't it more diverse, Mr. Luxury Jewelry Maker? Why would that possibly be? 

Sigh, again.

I really wish poor people would show up to bitch about how awful it is to be taxed on your $10 million a year! Why don't they? It's so weird.

They can't support Obama because he's for "abortion and homosexuals," Tom Runn said.

For Homosexuals goes on the band name list.

"The tea party movement has grown out of a sense of frustration about government here in Washington," senior adviser David Axelrod said Friday in an interview that will air Sunday on C-SPAN. "It's not isolated to Democrats or Republicans. . . . There is a sense that this town is consumed by politics, that people are consumed by their own ambitions and that we're not dealing with the real problems."

Jesus Decaf Christ. Can we not? I mean, really, Axelrod. The tea party movement has grown out of a sense of stupidity, racist fuckwaddery, a follower mentality of which first graders playing soccer would be ashamed, and MONEY. That is all this is about. Take it any more seriously than that in public, and you're feeding the angry, rabid porcupine in your yard.

Do you idiots really think if you pay lip service to the "real" concerns of these morons they'll be less pissed at you, less willing to compare themselves to Holocaust victims and your president to Dr. Mengele, less eager to cast themselves in the roles of plantation slaves, less apt to long openly for the days when the different knew their places? Take them seriously behind closed doors, in whatever meetings you have to try to win the morning or the afternoon, but when you're talking to the pretty shiny cameras, treat them with the respect they deserve.

A cheerful man with a broad set of interests -- he is a pastor of "an all-black Maranatha" church, a painter, a retired Secret Service and Homeland Security employee, and a historical reenactor -- he made these pronouncements using an accent he hoped would sound early American, and he was dressed in period costume as Button Gwinnett, a signer of the Declaration of Independence.

STEP THE FUCK OFF BUTTON. He would kick your ass.

Although some here praised Obama for his energy and for making history, many delegates said concern over his policies has pushed them into political activism for the first time in their lives.

On Thursday night, giving the opening address, former U.S. representative Tom Tancredo (Colo.), who ran for the 2008 Republican presidential nomination as an anti-immigration candidate, railed against Obama and "the cult of multiculturalism." Americans could be "boiled to death in a cauldron of the nanny state," he said. "People who couldn't even spell the word 'vote,' or say it in English, put a committed socialist ideologue in the White House."

Yes. Nothing says "concern over his policies" like implying all his voters were illiterate crackheads.

When Tancredo said, "His name is Barack Hussein Obama," the audience booed loudly.

Again with the high-minded policy concerns!

It's like they don't even listen to the stuff they're writing down anymore.

A.

Weekend Question Thread: Our Sucky Economy Edition

What one thing do you wish you could buy right now, that you can't afford?

A.

Saturday Blogwhoring Thread

Post away before the Demon Sheep gets you.

A.

All We Can Do is Keep Breathing: Caprica Thread

Hottest. Space. Marriage. Ever.

Jacob:

Amanda's watching the home movies in her bedroom: Lacy gets shy about the camera and puts Zoë in front of it, and Zoë -- wearing a gold infinity pin on her sailor dress -- talks more crazy cult talk about how their lives are about to totally change, and also that she is a very pretty girl. Amanda weeps, and then Daniel shows up in the bedroom looking drunk and nuts, and without prelude he asks why she even wants to go to the ceremony. She's not sure why. Daniel flops down on the bed by her -- this scene is the best scene in the whole episode, I think -- and nearly starts crying when he tries to explain. "I don't want to think. I just feel awful, and angry, and numb, and..." Amanda asks who on earth he's mad at, and she cries listening to him: "Everybody. And everything. Myself, and the world. Her." Amanda can't even really hear him say that last one. It's too true. It's too unbearably disgusting.

You know, whenever anybody on this show goes on about how such a sweet innocent child (whether they're talking about Zoe, or Lacy, or Ben, or whoever) couldn't possibly be a terrorist, I wonder if they've ever met any teenagers. 

Quitting Time Booster Shot

Welcome to the booster, where our week was pretty much like this...

- Bad week overall: The Midget had a cold, the Missus was sick, school started and I ended up almost cutting through the tendon in my thumb while working on The Classic. Is there such a thing as a reset button on life?

- From the “Yeah, I’m a guy, here’s my guy cred” file: You think to yourself, “Doc, how does one end up almost losing the workability of a digit?” The answer is pretty simple. I was trying to pull part of a window lining down into the deepest part of the door’s well and it wasn’t going well. I then followed my grandfather’s philosophy of “If at first you don’t succeed, hit it with a bigger hammer.” I grabbed a pair of pliers and tried to yank the lining down harder. Thus, when the pliers slipped, I smashed my hand onto the edge of the door’s sheet metal and sliced a quarter inch deep gash into my hand. Of course, I was more pissed than anything, so I grabbed a rag, taped it to my hand and finished the job. When the Missus saw it, she almost killed me, but by then it was too late to get stitches. Should make for a very unusual scar.

- No brain cells were used in the making of this statement.

- Apparently the Missus not only thinks I have a great life insurance policy, but that it will pay off if I kill myself. Otherwise, there’s no justification for what happened Thursday night. I got home from night class and we decided we’d watch some TV. The deal was simple: She could watch Gray’s Anatomy, we’d take a break and catch the fourth quarter of the Cavs/Heat game and then we’d catch the TiVo’ed version of Private Practice. If you watched Private Practice, you know what happens next: Twin girls with cancer, the parents have a baby for the cord blood to save them, there’s not enough cord blood to save them both so they have to choose. When one gets sick, they tell the healthier one she’s getting it and her sister is going to die. The healthy one looks up, hugs her sister and tells the doctors, “I can share…” Had the Cavs not won, I’m quite certain my head would have been in the oven by 11 p.m…  Jesus, who writes shit that’s that depressing?

- From the “And the Taxman cometh” department: Sarah Palin didn’t pay taxes on a couple cabins built on cabins built on two backcountry plots that she partially owns. While Palin says it’s not her responsibility, the folks who deal with the tax assessments say it’s STATE LAW to report this. Why would we expect her to understand the state law in the state she once ran? C’mon… For her part, Palin has been grousing about the various forms of “gossip crap” in the local papers.

- Apparently, the paper at Abilene Christian University is angling to be the first student newspaper to publish specifically for the iPad. Are we ever going to learn that it’s not about the toys? Also, can anyone do some research and find out if anyone’s publishing their school paper on papyrus or adobe (the clay, not the software)? Much like Randall in “Clerks II” I’m taking it back. Cuneiform, here I come!

- And finally, I respect and like the dignity and grace by which he has operated for years, but when it comes to this, Tony Dungy can respectfully and politely go fuck himself. Go Saints!

Thanks for letting me share your air. Be back next week where I will likely be typing with one hand, if things continue this way. 

Doc

Another Question

DougJ asks, in response to Shelby (R-Confederacy) being an assmunch:

Here’s what I’d like to know: is there any limit to how much a strong-willed minority can slow things down in the Senate? Could a new Republican Senator do something like this every day and bring everything to a complete halt for months on end?

Yes.

Here's what I'd like to know:

WHERE WAS THAT STRONG-WILLED MINORITY WHEN WE NEEDED IT TO PREVENT LOTS OF PEOPLE GETTING UNNECESSARILY DEAD IN THE PAST DECADE?

Though I'm sure I'll never get an answer to that. After all, I'm the kind of uncouth blogger who uses words like "assmunch." My argument is invalid.

A.

It bodes poorly for me that speed impresses you

Unlike Chandler Bing, I can't make things happen instantaneously, 24-7.

On the way to teach my night class this week, I got an irate phone call from an unlikely source.
“Where WERE you?” Mom asked with an edge to her voice. “I called your iPhone!”
Truth be told, I didn’t have my iPhone on me. I was under the back end of The Classic, prying off a pair of 40-year-old shocks. Shockingly, I didn’t carry my $400 phone outside into a freezing cold garage.
When I got back inside, I picked up my iPhone, saw “Mom and Dad” on the caller ID and called home. Dad was there, said he didn’t call and we chatted. Turns out Mom called from her cell phone, a phenomenon that occurs about as often as a Haley’s Comet sighting, so there was that…
This was the third time this week I got a “Where the hell were you?” phone call. The other two were from the editor at the student newspaper. In one case, I was in the garage. The second time, I was on the john.  Still, the same argument was made: you have an iPhone. Ergo, I should be able to be lo-jacked into your soul.
News flash to those who haven’t figured it out yet: The iPhone is not a talisman. It does not endow you with special powers. If I leave it in Place A and go to Place B without it, the chances are pretty good that Jesus will not descend from on high, find me and convey the urgent message that janitor didn’t pick up our newsroom’s trash today.
And it’s not just the phone that’s becoming a pain in the ass.
I get emails from students like this all the time. In one case, a kid was waiting for me at my office door at 7:30 a.m.
“Didn’t you get my emails?” he demanded. “You NEVER got back to me.”
I went to bed at 10:30 that night and checked my email before I went to bed. When I booted up my laptop and checked my email, there they were. Three emails, all within 20 minutes of each other, that were sent somewhere on the shallow side of midnight.
Perhaps it’s a sign of the times: since people are able to send messages to all kinds of devices at all times of day, people assume someone is on the other end of those messages, 24-7, just champing at the bit to respond. Maybe it’s that we now have access to so much information, all the time, that we feel a failure to plan on our part is truly an emergency that needs to be solved on someone else’s part.
Maybe we just all have lost our patience.
However, there are actual moments of my life that don’t belong to someone else. If I’m taking a shit, I’m not answering the phone. If I’m under the hood of my car fixing something, I’m not stopping for a telemarketer. If it’s important, they’ll call back.
Sorry, but I can’t be like the guy I saw in the men’s room once who had a blue tooth in his ear, a texting pager in his left hand and his dick in his right. Apparently, his interest in world domination via technology could not be paused while he saddled up next to me at the urinal in the journalism building. I don’t know how he could concentrate with all that going on, as just listening to him had me so discombobulated that I almost pissed on my shoes.
Which is how I felt when I kept getting the “what’s wrong with your phone?” phone calls.
Eventually I solved Mom’s crisis with her email and had a couple minutes before class. In that class, I had three kids complaining that the syllabus hadn’t been up online a week before the class started.
The next day, I got my evaluations from the fall semester. While most of the scores were great, I had one particularly low score.
Apparently, I don’t return graded assignments fast enough.

Friday Ferretblogging: Epic Shelter Win

So about a year ago the shelter where we acquired our beasties started raising money in earnest to move out of a cramped, tiny space with very little ventilation and old cages and into a brand-new space two doors down with an office and a playroom and ample storage for all the stuff ferrets need -- food, litter, bedding, medicine, etc. I'd asked you a couple of times for help with various programs -- online shelter funding contests, Jewel matching programs -- so I thought you might like to see how it all turned out:

 

Tribune photo by Chuck Berman

Ninna and Luchis peeked briefly at passers-by Sunday, sniffed at the flurry of activity around them and quickly decided that burrowing into soft fabric in their spacious cage was far more satisfying.

A pair of female ferrets, Ninna and Luchis were among 89 animals who settled into new homes Sunday as 35 volunteers with the Greater Chicago Ferret Association carefully moved them from a cramped 670-square-foot shelter in west suburban Lyons to larger quarters three doors east.

"The move itself has been over a year in planning," shelter director Steve Malec said. "For the association, it's a move to expand and get bigger. From the shelter perspective, we did this move to ensure better quality of animal care. It gives us more space for volunteers to work, and it's a more healthy environment for the animals."

Each ferret was shampooed, towel-dried and placed in a pet carrier for transport to new cages that accommodated two ferrets apiece. Because ferrets have strong bonds, Ninna and Luchis, as well as other pairs, went through the process together.

Moving day was high-larious. 89 wet pets at once, people everywhere, "where does this go?" "I dunno, put it anywhere," bits of last-minute construction still going on, a bucket brigade of carriers up and down the street. The new cages were so exciting for the animals; they raced up and down the little ramps and rearranged all the bedding the volunteers had laid out, peeked out at everybody, and then got bored and, no matter how much chaos existed, just crashed out while the humans, hopped up on excitement, were bouncing off the walls.

Good times.

A.

Friday Catblogging: Blast From The Past, Take Two

There were a lot of tortie fans last week so here's a blast from the past, catwise. Window, the tiny tortie pictured above was originally Dr. A's cat. No strike that: she was a hand me down from her kid sister who lived in a dorm at the time and named the illicit kitty Window so that they could talk about her. Kid sister was busted and the rest was history.

Window was a tiny terror and mischievous to the core. She was exposed to a mean, hissy tom cat as an impressionable kitten and she later imitated his behavior with our other cats. It was hilarious to see her intimidate cats twice her size but she *loved* people until she left us some 8 years ago. We still talk about her exploits as if she were still around. She was a little cat with a big personality. In short, a classic tortie.

Lord Douchemook Rides Again

At this point figuring out exactly how dumb James O'Keefe is has become kind of fun.

How do you ... I mean, I don't even know.

A.

Saxby Chambliss: He Yis What He Yis

From Album3

A moran, reduced to pathetic allegations when it comes to acknowledging that gays and lesbians, OMG, serve in the military. Gee, who would've thunk that it would all lead to drinking beer...or adultery, Senator McCain? Or, even worse...body art?

But beyond the immediate matter of righting a particularly stupid wrong, gay rights issues are an excellent example of how progressives can lead, and well, win...provided we don't go around apologizing for being right. Look at how the political landscape has evolved from as recently as 2004, when gay marriage was allegedly a wedge issue and (as always) "good news for Rethuglicans." These days, the trend is towards tolerance. When even a football player--New Orleans Saint Scott Fujita (Geaux Saints!)-- publicly states his support for gay rights--it's difficult to deny that change is in the air.

This is not to say gays and lesbians enjoy equal rights or that things are just fine. Not at all. However, there's been a definite change, and one that serve as a blueprint for more progressive ideas being accepted as not only right, but beneficial to us all.

Election Night in Illinois

This is why I'm not allowed to watch the local TV news at home anymore. This, right here:

Thanks to all the TV folks reporting from each campaign night headquarters and assuring us how enthusiastic supporters of this or that particular candidate are and how they like the numbers they are seeing so far. Especially when all I see on the screen is a few bored people milling around with overpriced, watered-down drinks in their hands.

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And thanks to all the TV "reporters" for once again failing to come up with any decent questions to ask at any of these headquarters'. It's not like you haven't had time to think about it.

[snip]

Garrard McClendon monitoring a CLTV chat or blog or something: "It's red hot!"

Now he's reading content-free comments from anonymous people we don't care about.

McClendon reiterates that this shows how engaged voters are despite the low turnout.

Right.

And you know, on that last, in general: Old-media dickweeds are the first people to decry anonymous Internet comments and stupid blogs and online polls and other nonsense as, well, nonsense, but then they jump on board the bandwagon anyway for fear they might be missing something, or in the kind of pathetic, desperate effort to remain relevant that doesn't work on a prom date much less an anchor. Which creates the impression, for their readers or viewers, that they have no fucking idea what they're talking about. 

Just because a thing exists doesn't mean you have to use it. Maybe reading comments from a live chat would be good, if they were funny (like our Crack Vans) or smart (like our Crack Vans) or interesting (like our Crack Vans) or contained Crimean War references interspersed with discussions of the Kinsey Scale (like our Crack Vans). But don't just be all, "And here's some stuff from the blog!" because you want to show off that you're hip and happening and whoomp there it is and shit. 

It's the Sir Edmund Hillary Theory of the Internet, they have web sites because they're there, and they'll tell anyone who listens that they pine for the days of yore when all you needed was a scotch and a typewriter ... just go get some Glenlivet and an Underwood then, jackass, nobody's stopping you.

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Men In Frocks: The Movie

This is the final installment of the Men In Frocks trilogy. Unlike George Lucas, I know when to stop. I hereby pledge that I will never post a picture or video of Jar Jar Bloody Binks in a frakking frock.

Anyway, Michael Homan is not only one of the ugliest drag queens ever (he's the skank in pink,) he's also a skilled editor who has put together the highlights of his frocky football frolics. Despite hairy men in dresses smoking cigars, the video even has a religious component:

The Zombie Apocalypse

Last winter, when it was cold and dark and miserable, I started spending a lot of time in the post-apocalyptic genre. The Road, SM Stirling's Change series, re-watching Galactica, 28 Days Later, etc. This, combined with the collapse of the US economy, made me COMPLETELY FUCKING PARANOID. Like, go to the store and buy all the dry goods on the shelves paranoid.

Here's a handy guide for how it will all go down.

Via the Group News Blog.

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"You're not made out of stone, you're made out of honey"

I've heard a lot of people say this about sex, and in my experience it's true: as you get older, you may not have it as much but it tends to be a hell of a lot more intense when you do.

Music's a lot like that for me too. It's always been in my life, if I'm lucky, it always will be, but when I was younger I was a real collector of it. I had a lot, I listened to a lot, I read about it a lot, I saw so many live shows I literally can't tell you how many or who all I've seen. It's easier for me to remember who I haven't seen. Not surprisingly I guess, I married someone who was the same way, though our tastes varied wildly.

Somewhere along the line, I lost that urgency for getting my hands on all the music I could find, knowing what new album was due and who was coming to town and poring over minutiae in liner notes and interviews. That zeal to consume it all. It coincided with aging but I am not sure it was a result of it. While I still like all kinds of music, even stuff I'm supposed to be too old for, my interest in the chase, the completionist fetish to seek out new artists or trends for the sake of adventure, is just not there.

My emotional connection to much of the music that does come into my life has deepened to an extent I seldom experienced before, though. The impact of connection to artists or new songs and genres, and the places those connections take me, the new sounds I discover as a result of those journeys, well, it's just an entirely different organic experience, much more of a relationship. Like getting to know a new lover or moving to a new house, going to a new town. It's intense, and whatever made it happen, I'm thankful.

My latest new flame is Youngblood Blues, the latest from Alynda Lee Segarra and Hurray for the Riff Raff. I don't know where you NOLA peeps been hiding these folks away but damn, they're good. I can't stop listening to this album.

Meanwhile In The U.K.

The Chilcot inquiry into Britain's role in the Iraq War had its star witness last week, former Prime Minister Tony Blair. The Artful Dodger was nervous but polished. He was also unrepentant despite all the blood that has flowed from his being W's poodle and obeying his master's call to war.

Even if Blair's testimony was unsatisfying and the questioning not tough enough, the U.K. is to be praised for holding public hearings into the fiasco and calling the decision makers to the witness stand. We'd all like to see Bush, Cheney, Rummy and the lot testify under oath or should I say lie?

Here's how ITV News covered Blair's testimony. They also spent some time talking to the protesters; many of whom lost relatives in Iraq:

Hermaphrodites!

Wow:

In an interview on NPR's All Things Considered yesterday, Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA) warned that repealing the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy would not only be bad for cohesiveness and unity -- it would also open the military's doors "to transgenders, to hermaphrodites."

Talking about the military, Hunter said, "there has to be a special bond there, and I think that bond is broken if you open up the military to transgenders, to hermaphrodites, to gays and lesbians."

I've said it before, I'll keep saying it: People having sexy porny sex aren't thinking as much about the very sexy sexiness of porny sex as Duncan Hunter here. He has a whole porno in his mind, about the TOTAL HETEROSEXUAL BOND of manlove between men in danger who are MEN, goddammit, doing MANLY things like cleaning their guns while shirtless, and along comes a gay private who says, "Can I join you chaps while you polish those long, hard rods of power?" And then it's an orgy and somehow RuPaul is involved, and the terrorists win because all the MANLY MEN are too busy listening to Lady GaGa to fight in the war.

It sounds like fun in Duncan Hunter's head.

A.

Steny Hoyer, Newspaper Commenters Fight For Title of Today's Biggest Jackass

First of all, Steny Hoyer is an asshole:

WASHINGTON -- As Obama administration officials discussed a possible mid-2011 opening of Thomson prison as a federal facility, a key Democratic lawmaker said today that the president would have a fight on his hands to secure funding for the prison, which would house terrorism suspects.

House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, D-Md., spoke in answer to a reporter's question on whether Obama would have a "steep, uphill fight" to get the millions needed to buy the Illinois prison and move Guantanamo Bay detainees there.

Hoyer said yes.

"I think the administration realizes that this is a difficult issue, and I think that they are assessing where they are and where they think we ought to be," Hoyer said. "And I think that's appropriate, and I look forward to discussing it with them."

Apparently there is nothing you can't get Hoyer to say, so long as it's damaging to a Democratic agenda. His flack tries to walk it back later in the story, but ... yeah, damage done.

The commenters are hysterical, though. Full of ideas about fiscal responsibility, murderous fantasy, and detailed instructions as to how terrorist attacks could be carried out in order to fuck over some sheep in the deep country:

Take all these Gitmo prisoners for a ride to their native countries in 747's hold trial on the plane's and release them all at 10,000 feet over the Ocean out the cargo door. That saves 300 million plus the cost of feeding and guarding them. That is fiscal responsibility. You know if the table 's were turned they would chop our heads off and show it on worldwide TV. Dropping them in the Ocean may deter future terrorist acts. "I'm just sayin"

This guy has GI Joe figurines on the top of his bookshelves.

[[All of the tough talkin' keyboard commadoes are afraid to house some terror suspects ...]]

They are captured combatants. They shouldn't be "suspects" for anything.

We're allowed to hold combatants, without charge or legal representation, for the duration of the hostilities in which they were captured. For as long as the A'stan war is going on ... we can hold them.

Furthermore, if they were fighting out of uniform *improperly*, then we can accuse them of being saboteurs or mercinaries, give them a military lawyer, give them a military hearing, and then execute them.

They totally deserve a fair trial before we convict and killinate their asses!

Illinois doesn't want this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Leave them in Gitmo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is anyone listening?????????????????????

Try a few more exclamation points. That might help.

While the federal govt may have to react to any terrorist threat, it is the local property owners who bear the risk. This is because, for several year now, federal laws have allowed all U.S. insurance policies to exempt policy holders from coverage for terrorist acts. A dam breech could flood hundred of farm acres and rural homes, causing millions upon millions of dollars of damage. Similarly, federal laws mandate that we, farmers, destroy all our own livestock and crops if there is any nuclear leak and exposure. There is no insurance coverage if that leak is terrorist created. And, the risk is already significant enough for us to get yearly federal reminders and siren towers in our fields to warn of that risk.

Listen, if you get attacked by terrorists, you will in fact be taken care of. It seems we only hate Americans who were in the path of hurricanes, floods, broken-down infrastructure and general crime. You'll be fine.

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Concessions, Concessions

If only those unions would stop being so evil:

Maine Township High School District 207 officials tonight unanimously approved a plan it announced last month to cut $15 million in spending by eliminating 135 jobs for next school year, including about 75 teaching positions.

A huge outcry from parents and students, who staged a protest at the Park Ridge district headquarters and turned out by the thousands at the last school board meeting, resulted in a district alternative proposal to dig deeper into its reserves and save about 45 teaching jobs.

In exchange for the extra $2 million in deficit-spending for each of the next two school years, however, district officials sought concessions from the teachers union to lower their overall raises by a similar amount. Most teachers would still receive raises for seniority but would forgo an additional cost-of-living increase for the 2010-11 school year. The district had said more teachers' jobs could be saved if the union would agree to even more concessions.

Our priorities as a country are so irredeemably fucked up.

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Just Politics

Ezra:

As he points out, the problem is not just that the bill is being misrepresented. That's all in the game. But it's being misrepresented in a way that makes it impossible for the GOP to later turn around and compromise on it. As Obama said later in the session, "our constituents start believing us. They don't know sometimes this is just politics." And if they don't know it's just politics, then legislators can't act as it's just politics.

Well, and "politics" shouldn't be code for "turn off the TV and don't pay attention, there's nothing to see here." If politics is theater, and everybody admits it's theater, and everybody admits it doesn't mean anything, then what the fuck are you all still doing reading this?

"Politics" as signifies "bullshit" is part and parcel of our "the entire functioning of the country as one big ironic joke for the people who live in Chris Matthews' head" media narrative, where the only thing that really matters is who won the morning and who won the afternoon.

Or, as Michael Keaton's character yells in The Paper, "This shouldn't be semantics. This shouldn't be money. People will read this, and they'll believe us!"

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Saintsmania: Men In Frocks Update

Before the Saints beat the Vikings, I told you that New Orleans was full of men ready to don frocks after their team finally made the Super Bowl. There were large scale festivities  in the Quarter Sunday but I'd like to share a few pictures of some friends of mine in their frocks as they paid homage to the late great sportscaster Buddy D about whom there was a great piece in the Picayune by Buddy's old, uh, buddy Peter Finney.

The photos were posted by my online nemesis, NOLA blogger Michael Homan. The first picture features Michael and fellow blogger Howie Luvzus. Howie is my personal Baptist preacher (a losing battle if there ever was one) and is the demure looking one. Homan is the mustachioed skank in pink:

The second picture features Chef Who Dat and the estimable Wiseman brothers reading an ode to Buddy D near his tomb at Metry Cemetery.

 

Finally, from the ridiculous to the sublime. Here's Jim Henderson, the longtime voice of the Saints, calling Garrett Hartley's game winning Field Goal. Many New Orleanians have this on a tape loop or wish that they did:

'Evil War Dwarf Henry Kissinger'

This Wonkette thread about Chunky Alvin the Chipmunk is of win:

Jeepers, he accomplished a lot while working on his Bachelor of Douchebag.

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I have a theory that rather than old age, the US is like a former child star now in his/her late teens or twenties: once we were a colossus with lots of money taking care of the rest of the family, but we invested badly and the money’s gone. Meanwhile we’ve lost our cuteness, ratings plummeted, the show got cancelled, and we can’t gracefully slide into adult roles. So we’re bitter and pissed off. It remains to be seen whether we can transition into adulthood but accept that instead of the lead role we might just be part of an ensemble on some CW show, or if we’ll be poor, work as security guards for eighteen bucks an hour, and occasionally show up in the news for a DUI or domestic disturbance charge.

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So we should be perp-walked on TMZ any day now, right?

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… and occasionally show up in the news for a DUI or domestic disturbance charge — or when we endorse the former governor of Alaska for president. FIXED.

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Not Dead Yet...So Watch Out, Teabaggers!

Sorry for being MIA for so long.  Suffice it to say, January always sucks for me, and this one was worse than normal.

But I'm back, and madder than ever.  My latest pet peeve?  The deficit, and the "lack of political will" (for which read "lack of balls") to do anything about it.

Let me get this straight:  We have the Tea Party Movement (not to be confused with Bowel Movement, though there are many similarities), which is chock full o' people claiming to be "patriots."  Meanwhile, we have a government that for many reasons (most of them traceable back to some guy named Dubya) is in debt up to its eyeballs.  We also have a multitude of economists who tell us that a) deficits are bad for the economy, and therefore bad for all of us, and b) that it's not really a good idea to cut spending massively in the midst of a recession because it could shoot us straight past the recession and into a DEPRESSION (something I'd really like to avoid, because I deal with the personal version of that daily, and it ain't much fun).

Am I right about all that?

Okay, so here's my thought:  If all you Teabaggers are such frakkin' patriots, here's your chance to step up.  Our elected officials believe that they can't do anything about the deficit because if they raise taxes they won't get reelected.

Tell them they're wrong.  Tell them that as true patriots, you are willing to do what it takes to get our government out of this mess.  Tell them you're okay with raising taxes with the express purpose of paying down the debt our government has racked up.  C'mon, I dare ya!

Hey, what can I say?  I needed a good laugh this morning.

But for what it's worth, I'm going on record as saying I'm patriotic enough to be willing to see my taxes raised to reduce the deficit.  I can't afford it, but I can't afford to see the economy go in the dumper because of the deficit either.  And in case any of you forgot, the economy was humming along nicely under the Clinton administration, a time of HORRIFIC TAX BURDENS according to the loony right.  I also appreciate all the stuff I get from our federal government, and I'd like to see all that continue.

So, to Betsy Markey, Mark Udall and Michael Bennett, please, raise my taxes.  I won't hold it against you. 

Screw up health care reform, however...

People. Today is MARMOT DAY.

MARMOT DAY:

Because there are no groundhogs in Alaska - yet three other species of marmots call the state home - it makes sense the ground squirrel become Alaska's version of Punxsutawney Phil, the Pennsylvania groundhog famed for his winter weather forecasts.

"I'm happy to put the spotlight Feb. 2 on our own Alaska marmots that can be seen throughout the state welcoming us to warmer days," Menard added.

Although the bill doesn't give marmots any weather forecasting duties, Menard hopes the state will create educational activities around the animal.

This year, Mat-Su Valley's KMBQ radio station will hold a special event, along with observances in the Mat-Su School District and the Alaska Zoo.

Locally, Menard will incorporate excerpts from the children's book "Gimme, Gimme Moocher Marmots," by 14-year Douglas resident Cindy Burchfield, in her presentation Tuesday to the Senate.

GIMME GIMME MOOCHER MARMOTS.

I don't even know what to do with that, it's so awesome.

A.