I am caramelizing onions and baking double chocolate cookies as I type this. My house smells… weird.
How’s that for a reintroduction?
Oh, internet, I’ve been absent. I know that’s been my story for lo these many moons, but apparently, I am sticking to it. It’s not the way I want to be, but I have rearranged my energy, and blogging and knitting fell right out the window. They probably landed on someone’s car and now I’m responsible for someone else’s misery because of my inattention to my hobbies.
Because that is still how my brain works.
I suppose that some of my energy is going toward nesting, also, but I am perhaps the worst nester ever. If I was a bird, mine would be one of those nests you find on the ground. Perhaps in the middle of the sidewalk. People ask “oooh, how’s the baby’s room coming along?” and I say “…it exists?” It’s a combination of superstition/fear and laziness that fuels this situation, and I’m not intending to change until the middle of October. (It’s not like this baby is going to be early, I mean come on…) But anyway, we have a co-sleeper (inherited) and a weird collection of onesies, so we’re probably all set anyway, right? Oh, I guess we probably need a couple of diapers or something. And I guess I’m supposed to have a car seat for leaving the hospital? Geez, so much planning.
Most of my energy goes toward commuting, working, reading about babies, keeping up with cleaning the house (barely), the gym, cooking actual meals and the all-too-occasional nap. I could use a lot more naps. If there were more naps, then there might be more blogging. (Lies. If there were more naps, there would just be more napping.) And sadness and regret. An exorbitant amount of energy is going toward that.
This, I am trying to change.
I read somewhere something about how if you fall in love with someone from far away from where you’re from, you’ll spend the rest of your life missing someone. And it turns out that that’s true. The missing that I’m doing seems unbearable most days, but I know that the alternative missing would be worse. People say “oh, but there is skype” or “there are always airline sales” but when the people you’re missing don’t use the internet and, frankly, there aren’t airline sales (and besides, I have a job?) then this terrible black hole is just going to live on.
So I will make cookies and sweep and mop and think about baby sweaters, and hope that everything will turn out for the best. I think things usually turn out for the best, but that could just be because things turn out the only way they turn out, and what can you do but make the best of it?
Pure Klass 
