@irreverenthealer23
Founder of the Sugar Bloom Foundation.
Happy Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day
Sugar Bloom Foundation’s Outreach
Sugar Bloom Foundation’s Outreach
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Learn About Sugar Bloom
Learn About Sugar Bloom
Panning for Gold
Panning for Gold
Recently, I've been on the grief circuit. I had the privilege to speak at Cleveland Clinic's bereavement ceremony and for the 2nd time at their Survivor Day. I've watched the Sugar Bloom program grow, and I continue to hear from recipients about the joy the blooms bring. I'm beginning to believe that the work we are doing is important and it's not just an outlet for my overwhelming grief. But… Today, I find myself sad and exhausted. I told my girlfriend I'm tired of panning for gold amidst all t
Love, What would you have me know today?
Love, What would you have me know today?
I recently tried the writing exercise from Liz Gilbert’s Letter’s from Love. She asks you to sit down and have love write you a letter. Her writing prompt is Love, what would you have me know today? The following is love’s letter to me on grief. It turns out love can speak into the great, grief abyss.That your grief will not consume you. That it will not break you in the ways you are most afraid of. It will soften you, mold you, and shape you by excavating who you were before.Before the walls we
Will You Save the Fish?
Will You Save the Fish?
My kids and I have a magical morning commute. Sometimes we notice it; more often than not, we don't. It somehow gets lost in the shuffle of half-zipped backpacks, unsigned permission slips, missing water bottles, and the background soundtrack to our lives playing on the radio. It's always something by Lin Manuel Miranda, and most days, it's We don't Talk about Bruno. Often, we miss the sunlight glittering on the intracoastal as we cross the bridge from the mainland to the barrier island where th
Transmuting Pain
Transmuting Pain
Today is our 13th wedding anniversary and four months since my mother died. Like most important days since her passing, it's a day filled with joyful memories laced with sorrow. Appropriate that the thirteenth-anniversary gift is lace. My mother's memory now runs through the fabric of our lives like delicate lace. The memory of her sweetly and sadly intersecting with our present.Her memory doesn't always feel beautiful and delicate; sometimes, it feels like hot coals: painful, searing, dangerous
The Thaw
The Thaw
Wrestling with Regret
Wrestling with Regret
I'm currently in a wrestling match with regret. At the moment, it has me pinned to the mat, and the only way I know how to break the stranglehold it has on me is to tell the truth, and give it some light. After my mom died, I told someone I had no regrets and that I did everything I could. I said I could rest comfortably knowing my mother left this world, feeling how deeply I loved her. The love part was true; the regret part was a lie.I do have one regret that haunts me. I regret the pressure I
The Sendoff
The Sendoff
Last week we put my mom to rest, or rather out to sea. She has been sitting in my closet for a year. I had grown comfortably uncomfortable with her temporary resting place. Knowing she was nearby didn't make me feel closer to her, but it made me feel in control. Knowing where she was somehow made the loss of control that grief brings a little less unsettling. My husband offered to get her for me when she first came home in a box, not an urn. I agreed, as I could not return to the room where I sa
Is it Worth It?
Is it Worth It?
I recently went on a podcast with my mom's oncologist Dr. Byer to discuss the Sugar Bloom project we founded in her office. During that conversation, we discussed how people can get involved with the Sugar Bloom Foundation. The honest answer is: The Sugar Bloom Foundation doesn't exist yet; right now, it's in its infancy, much like my grief. At the moment, the Sugar Bloom Foundation is one very sad woman showing up on the 23rd of each month to pay tribute to her mother, honor her grief, and offe
Can We Make This Place Beautiful?
Can We Make This Place Beautiful?
I recently read Maggie Smith's memoir, You Could Make This Place Beautiful, and fell in love with it and, like most things, these days, promptly set it aside and forgot all about it until this week. When slogging through the 100 percent humidity and 100 plus temps, I heard an interview with Maggie Smith discussing her book and the poem that made her famous, Good Bones. I had never heard her poem, and even when I read it in the book, I somehow missed it. I was too angry at her husband for being s
Irreverent Healer Blog
Irreverent Healer Blog
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