Q&As

My dad got married last month and his wife only moved in a week after the wedding (they were long distance for three years). I (17M) still live at home for now but I plan to move out this summer. When my dad's wife moved in she told my dad she didn't want to see any photos of my mom around the house. That it was supposed to be her home and she could not make a home with those memories on display. She needed to know she was his wife, not just his second wife. So the photos came down. My dad was going to store them so he offered to let me take whatever photos I wanted since they'd just gather dust according to him.

I took them all. Not some, not one or two, I took them all and my grandparents are keeping them safe for me. Dad's wife had no issue with me taking the ones I wanted until I wanted them all. Then she asked me why I was taking them all and I asked her why it bothered her so much. She said one or two made sense but it felt like a big fuck you to her that I was taking them all and couldn't stand the idea of the others going into indefinite storage. I told her it sounded like she was planning to throw them out once our backs were turned and she got pissed and told me I was insulting her by taking them all. I got mad and asked her why it's any of her fucking business and who is she to tell me what I can and can't do.

My dad told her I was told I could take whatever and she said she hadn't realized I'd take every one of them. Then she said I insulted her in her own home and asked dad why I had such an attitude toward her. I told her she was the one who interfered when she wasn't asked to. That became another fight and dad told us to cool off.

She's still annoyed that I took them all and still feels like it was a fuck you to her. She also said I was beyond rude to curse at her and ask her why it was her business, as if to say she doesn't also live here and isn't my family now. AITA?

My wife (32f) is very close to my (33m) family. We were childhood best friends, high school sweethearts and we've been together for 18 years now. They've known her all that time and my mom adores her and they're incredibly close. Actually my mom has a good relationship with all but one of her children's partners.

My younger brother's "Aidan" (29m) wife (27f) is the exception. Aidan married Gem last year. They dated for a couple of years before that. At first we all got along pretty good with Gem but she suddenly started being a dick to my wife. It started with very subtle comments that my wife said were nothing and I was just overreacting. While others would joke that my wife was mom's favorite kid, Gem would sound bitter and jealous about it. Then her comments turned mean about it. The jokes about it, which were never very frequent, stopped after that but Gem would bring it up anyway. Then it was comments about exhausting it must be for my wife to have so many people who want her time and attention. Those were sparked by my siblings partners also getting along with my wife, not to mention my mom and wife hanging out and then my wife and I have kids together. I asked Gem what her problem was, spoke to Aidan 1:1 as well and others spoke up in defense of my wife.

Gem's biggest issue has always appeared to be my mom and my wife being close. I don't know why it drives her crazy but it does.

Now Aidan's frustrated because Gem isn't included the way my wife and the other partners are. The fact mom will do days with her daughters in-law and Gem isn't invited. Or that my wife will do girls stuff with the women in our family but she doesn't invite Gem because eventually she got sick of Gem's shit too. She was better than me at brushing it off for a while but I think anyone would get annoyed by someone always treating them like shit.

So Aidan came to me hoping I'd advocate for Gem to be included. He said she just feels left out and wants to be included. I told him she has a funny way of showing it. He said she knows she messed up but to give her another chance for him. I told him I'm not going to advocate for his wife's inclusion when she was so rude to mine. I told him he needs to get Gem to make it up to everyone and work toward her inclusion or else she's staying an outsider. I told him I get that his loyalty is with his own wife but mine will always be with my wife.

He told me someone our side needs to try or Gem will feel like she's wasting her time. I told him it's not on me. He tried to pull some brotherhood crap and I told him to knock it off and accept my answer. Obviously he hates that. My wife said she'd have no problem if Gem apologized and actually stopped with her comments and she's glad I told Aidan what Gem needed to do. Aidan keeps telling me I was a dick and could've done more.

AITA?

33M here. Lately, as I’ve been dipping my toes back into dating, I’ve noticed a trend—most of the women around my age who are single are also moms. Nothing against them at all, but after a past relationship with a single mom, I’ve realized that dynamic just isn’t for me.

I dated a woman when I was 29 (she was 34 with a 6-year-old), and honestly, it was a disaster. I felt like I had all the responsibilities of a father figure but zero say in anything. The kid’s behavior was rough, and anytime I tried to step in, I was the bad guy. The biggest issue? She constantly compared me to her ex—even though she claimed he was awful. It left me drained and, honestly, kind of traumatized.

Now, trying to get back out there, I feel… old. Like I blinked, and suddenly, everyone my age has a kid. It’s making dating feel way harder than I expected. Anyone else feeling this? How do you navigate dating in your 30s when you know you don’t want to be in a stepdad role?

Wouldn't staying on stealth mode and remaining in the group chat possibly allow me to get more insider info in the future?

I (29F) have been with my boyfriend (31M) for six years. We’ve built a life together, sharing everything, supporting each other through tough times, and always splitting expenses down the middle. I work as a high school teacher making $45k a year, while he used to work as a mechanic earning around $50k. We weren’t rolling in cash, but we made it work as a team.

When things got tough, I always had his back. During the pandemic, when his hours were cut, I covered most of the bills without hesitation because I believed we were working toward a shared future. . I never made him feel guilty, because that’s what you do when you love someone.

A few months ago, everything changed. His estranged uncle passed away and left him $800,000 in cash and a fully paid vacation home in Colorado. I was genuinely thrilled for him. I thought this could be a turning point for both of us. I imagined a future where we could finally breathe a little easier, maybe even start planning for a family or at least escape our cramped apartment.

But instead of bringing us closer, the money created a huge divide. The moment the inheritance hit his account, he told me outright that it was his money and that I wasn’t entitled to any of it. I didn’t expect a handout, but I thought we’d share the burden a little more fairly, especially since I’d carried us when he couldn’t.

Instead, he quit his job, decided he was “retired,” and now spends his days gaming and treating himself to luxuries like expensive meal kits and new gadgets, while I’m still working long hours and paying half the bills. He even jokes that he’s “living the dream,” while I’m exhausted every day trying to make ends meet.

The final straw came last week when my car broke down. The repair bill was $900… more than I could afford without seriously cutting back. I swallowed my pride and asked if he could help, thinking after all we’d been through, it wouldn’t be a big deal. He laughed and said, “You’ve always been independent you got this.”

I was hurt. After years of supporting him emotionally and financially, the second he had the means to make life easier for both of us, he left me hanging. So, I told him if his money is his, then the bills are his too. I’m done paying my share.

Now he’s calling me selfish and accusing me of “using him.” But honestly? I’m tired of feeling like a roommate while he lives like a king.

So, AITAH for refusing to keep paying half the bills when he’s sitting on a fortune and I’m barely keeping my head above water?

So, I put in my PTO request months ago for a vacation I’ve been planning forever. Suddenly, a coworker (who I’m not even close with) asks if I can cancel my time off because she’s getting married and wants the same dates for her honeymoon—but she waited too long to request them.

I told her no, because 1) I planned ahead, and 2) my trip is already booked. She got upset and said I was being selfish because “her wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event.” Some coworkers think I should have at least tried to move my dates, but I don’t think that’s fair.

AITAH for refusing to give up my vacation days?

My boyfriend and I made dinner tonight from one of those meal delivery services (like Hello Fresh). It was called loaded pork taquitos. We forgot to pick our meals for this week so they were chosen for us. So we cooked the recipe together (usually he does the prepwork like cutting veggies while I do the cooking). I knew already that my boyfriend wasn’t excited about this recipe. He’s Mexican and doesn’t like Tex-Mex. However, I didn’t know the extent to which he disliked it as we’ve had it before from other places (but he always commented his disdain for the food). So I finished cooking the dish and we started eating it. Of course, it wasn’t as good as authentic Mexican food, but I thought it tasted pretty good honestly. I asked him how he felt about it and he expressed his disdain for the dish, talking about how he feels like it’s what’s wrong with Tex-Mex and how it whitewashes his culture. I was listening but still eating the food because I was hungry and I just feel like eating something you cooked makes the experience better. Then, he suddenly says that he hated the dish and he is too disgusted to have it eaten in our household. He took his plate and my plate and threw them directly into the trash, literally as I had my fork on the plate eating it.

We got into a fight afterwards as I feel like him taking the food I was eating, disregarding any choice I had in the matter was wrong. I do understand how he feels, though. As another poc, it is frustrating to feel like your culture is being appropriated, erasing your community’s history. In our argument afterward, I told him that I respect how he feels about it and that we won’t eat Tex-Mex anymore—I just didn’t know he felt that strongly about it before. But I still disagree with what he did as I felt that it completely disregarded how I felt. I feel like if he had explained how strongly he felt about it, I would have stopped eating the food out of respect for him. However, he thinks that me being upset about his actions is wrong and indicative of my lack of respect for his culture. So, AITA?

Edit: Hey thanks for the responses. I know I’m getting a lot of flak for excuses and enabling him and his actions were absolutely wrong—that’s what the fight was about. But I do think that I painted his response in a worse light than I meant to. It wasn’t aggressive or malicious. But of course that doesn’t excuse what he did. He needs to learn to emotionally regulate and I think that’s something that can be worked on. We’re both young, and we’re growing. I know most of you don’t agree, but I don’t think he’s irredeemable.

To those of you who have educated me on Tejano cuisine thank you so much. I’m lacking in my knowledge of Mexican/Mexican-American history, and it’s something I’ve been meaning to educate myself on for awhile.

It can be Sunday afternoon, all my work is done, all chores are done. Ask the wife “want to do something?” She shrugs. “want to watch something?” “Eh, sure” then she just scrolls on her phone. Try to make a conversation and it goes nowhere so I pull out my laptop and start working on personal projects then suddenly I get “babe, what are you doing babe?” And when I answer I get an exasperated sigh and a snotty attitude. This also just isn’t my wife, I’ve asked a dozen guys I know with different hobbies and they all get the same response from their woman. Does this happen to you? Why do you think women hate when their men have a hobby?