It’s been foggy this week in New Orleans. I love the fog as long as I don’t have to drive in it. It’s a by-product of growing up in the San Francisco Bay Area. Monet loved the fog too. Perhaps I should have named my black cat Monet instead of Manet. Oh well, what the hell.
It’s runoff election day. If you’re in New Orleans, please vote. I’m eager to see the backs of several candidates, but even if they prevail I’ll be glad it’s over. No more lying fliers. Huzzah.
There’s a measure on the ballot in nearby St. Tammany Parish that would bring a casino to the dull suburban burg of Slidell. Both sides are spending buckets of money on teevee ads and making extravagant claims about the impact of a casino. It cracks me up: casinos are never as beneficial as their proponents would have you believe or as bad as opponents claim. So it goes.
A reminder that you can hear my views on today’s election by listening to The Ryne Show.
This week’s theme song was written by Paul Simon for 1968’s Simon & Garfunkel album, Bookends. It’s my favorite S&G record. It’s both arty and garfunkelly at the same time.
We have three versions of A Hazy Shade Of Winter for your listening pleasure: The S&G original, followed by the Bangles, and Hugo Montenegro:
If you’re feeling hazy, let’s shake it off by jumping to the break.
I like to use the Magritte caveman image when writing about stupidity and cluelessness. There’s a lot of both in the air this week, same as it ever was. I used to have to search out stupidity and cluelessness, but it can be found everywhere on the internet.
I’m on the record about amateur lawyers. They drive me nuts and that goes for reporters covering trials too. Vanity Fair’s Gabriel Sherman is a reporter I respect and admire but the courtroom isn’t usually his beat. In a futile attempt to make like Dominick Dunne, he’s covering the Ghislaine Maxwell trial. Celebrity trials can make even the smartest reporter look like a fool.
Maybe so but one of Sherman’s stated reasons is amateur lawyering at its most amateurish:
Before the trial opened, I counted myself among the pessimists who expected the case wouldn’t provide a full accounting of Epstein’s alleged crimes or expose the powerful men that allegedly participated in his depraved lifestyle. My view has held throughout the trial. I was dismayed, for instance, that prosecutor Lara Pomerantz’s opening statement ran a short 35 minutes (roughly 10 minutes less than the government’s opening argument in the Elizabeth Holmes fraud trial, for comparison).
Sherman is confusing quantity for quality. In my experience, less is more when it comes to opening arguments. Jurors get bored when lawyers drone on and on and on. The opening argument is supposed to set the table for the trial to come. Long-winded openings can be self-indulgent and irritating to the jury. Short and punchy is usually better.
LA Law was a big hit teevee show when I was a law student. Several of my professors commended to our attention the snippets of arguments on the show. One prof said something like this: “Arguing a case is like show biz, always leave them wanting more. ”
Sherman *could* be right in his assessment of the Maxwell trial BUT not because of a short opening argument.
Our first musical interlude is a McCartney song with a Lennonesque bite:
I’ve had my share of fun mocking the Twitter famous. Some style themselves as influencers. They’ve never influenced me.
Other Twitter personalities style themselves as pundits. Some like to throw Nazi analogies around. Few have any idea what they’re talking about. This is a good example:
Steve Bannon just goes straight Adolph Hitler to complain about white Europeans not procreating enough: “If you want to save the Judeo-Christian west, if you want to save civilization, start by having babies. Simple. Let’s start there. We’ll train them up.” pic.twitter.com/Nr6mqQJm86
Uh, Ron, Call I call you that? Hitler was not exactly a fan of Judeo-Christian civilization. As to the Judeo part, remember the Holocaust?
Hitler was also hostile to Christianity. His boy Himmler wanted to create a whole new religion centering on his weird Aryan fantasies and even weirder Fuhrer.
One more thing, his first name was spelled A-D-O-L-F.
Being Twitter famous doesn’t ensure that you know what you’re talking about. The opposite is often true, right Ron?
For our second musical interlude we have an original and a cover:
Holy fools were a thing in the Middle Ages. They seem to be making a comeback in the thespian set.
There’s a takedown of actor Jeremy Strong in The New Yorker. Strong plays Kendall Roy on the brilliant HBO show Succession. I think of Succession as a dark comedy with tragic overtones. The title of Michael Schulman’s piece says it all: On “Succession,” Jeremy Strong Doesn’t Get the Joke.
I started off sympathetic to Strong, then the holy fooleries began to pile up and I had to laugh at his excesses. I concluded that he’s so good as Kendall Roy because he’s playing himself. In a word: cringeworthy.
Method actors, can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
I originally planned to call this post Finally Friday after the George Jones song. That’s why he gets the last word.
It’s been a tough week, but Ryne has some thoughts about how to dispel the gloom.
-Adrastos
Enough With Doom & Gloom by Ryne Hancock
Early in the week, one of my Twitter friends posed a question on why Gen Z and younger millenials enjoyed basking in the glow of bad faith ideology.
While I couldn’t answer right away due to my work load at my day job, after a few blocks of biking in the Central Business District here in New Orleans and thinking long and hard about the question she posed, I found my answer.
“The reason why we have this both sides crap,” I told her, “is because the media hates democratic presidencies and on top of that, the mainstream media doesn’t like sane and boring.”
Hours later, during a Twitter space I hosted, I expounded my answer further with the problem that is plaguing this county, something I’ve seen more often than not on my Twitter timeline.
“What we have in this country,” I stated, “is a ‘me’ problem. It’s why you get the temper tantrums about vaccines and masks from adults. It’s also why a lot of people you see on social media like to nag Biden and Harris to do something.”
In the minds of “do something, nothing will fundamentaly change” people, Biden and the former guy are basically the same person. To them, they feel that Biden should automatically come in and fulfill all their demands and that change is supposed to be quick and in a hurry.
What they fail to realize is that change is supposed to be in increments, not everything at once, that it’s okay to celebrate small victories because those small victories add up down the road. ‘
The more small victories you have, the more it adds up.
However, because of the horrible mind fuck the former guy had us in for four years, we’ve forgotten how to celebrate small victories as a country.
How do we get back to learning how to celebrate small victories, you ask?
For starters, cut the cord and free yourself from the garbage that media spews out. That also include newspapers.
Secondly, mute words that are equated with doom on your Twitter timeline. The reason why I bring this up, is because a lot of people on twitter love to doom and gloom everything. One of my neighbors is quite an expert at this method.
And finally, take joy in small things that are not on Twitter. The whole world doesn’t operate the same way that the Twitter world does.
Clown at a diner on Thanksgiving in Reno, Nevada by Thomas Hoepker.
The New Orleans weather yo-yo continues as temperatures rise and fall. Making matters worse is that it’s happening in the middle of the night. We’ve had more than a few days where the high or low was at the stroke of midnight. Oy, just oy.
The weird weather has led to some weird dreams. The most puzzling one involved staying with two friends who were married in my dream but don’t know one another IRL. They refused to change bathroom lightbulbs or allow me to do so. I am not a fan of showering in the dark. I did it after Hurricane Ida but didn’t like it. I have no idea what this dream means but it’s sufficiently weird to share. Oh well, what the hell.
Our Thanksgiving was pleasant and low key. We didn’t get the turkey dinner at the drug store because such a thing is impossible in 2021. We had a quiet dinner at home then visited some friends we hadn’t seen since the lockdown. It was an exercise in Gamalian normalcy. Not bad for a guy who has developed a crowd phobia. It’s a far cry from the rock and roll infused days of my wayward youth.
This week’s theme song was written in 1972 by Pete Ham for Badfinger’s Straight Up album. It marked Ham’s emergence as a songwriting force to be reckoned with. Sadly, Pete Ham killed himself just three years later. It was a great loss.
We have two versions of Name Of The Game for your listening pleasure: the Badfinger original and a recent cover by Susanna Hoffs and Aimee Mann.
It’s time for another trip to disambiguation city. Bryan Ferry wrote The Name Of The Game for his 1987 album Bete Noire.
Now that we’ve pondered names and games, let’s jump to the break,
April 2020 was Richard Thompson/Edward Hopper month Odds & Sods-wise. I couldn’t resist reviving the combination for this week’s entry. They go together like peas and carrots.
Today is Dr. A’s birthday as well as municipal election day. I haven’t been that electorally engaged this cycle. Perhaps it’s the deluge of flyers we’re gotten in the mail. New Orleans pols save their low blows for direct mail. My policy is to disbelieve everything in them. I call them lying flyers.
This week’s theme song was written by Richard Thompson in 1986 for the Daring Adventures album. It was the first RT album to be produced by Mitchell Froom. Does that make it a Froom With A View? Beats the hell outta me.
We have three versions of How Will I Ever Be Simple Again for your listening pleasure: the studio original, Emmylou Harris, and RT and Emmylou live.
The stars have aligned with a second RT/EH combination. I wonder if Emmylou likes the art of Edward Hopper. Another mystery to ponder.
Now that we’ve simplified our lives, let’s complicate them by jumping to the break or is that breaking to the jump? Beats the hell outta me.
It’s cold enough in New Orleans that I broke down and turned on the central heat. We’ve been making do with space heaters and extra blankets. I hate the burning dust smell when the unit is first switched on. It usually gives me a headache and it happened again. Oh well, what the hell.
Sunday is a Saints home game against the arch-rival Atlanta Falcons. A friend gave us his tickets so I’m going. It’s the first real crowd I’ve been in since the Cursed Carnival of 2020. I’m nervous but vaccines or negative COVID tests are required. The mask mandate has been lifted here but I plan to mask up like Zorro. I’ll leave the saber at home for obvious reasons. I’ll let y’all know how it goes.
This week’s featured image is a Toucan by French primitive artist Henri Rousseau. This week’s theme song is about a different bird altogether. Bluebird was written in 1967 by Stephen Stills as a follow-up single to Buffalo Springfield’s monster hit, For What It’s Worth. It was an Odds & Sods theme song last year, FWIW.
There are many swell versions of Bluebird out there. We’re showcasing four: the Buffalo Springfield original, the James Gang with Joe Walsh, Bonnie Raitt, and Los Lobos.
Now that we’ve been mesmerized by the depth of her eyes, let’s join hands and jump to the break.
I’d never noticed before that Veda Pierce Sinema has guns. If only she’d devote as much time to her official duties as she does to her wardrobe and exercise regime.
This Tweet has led to comments from the Aaron Neville fans out there. Two Aaron tunes have been cited repeatedly. First, his first hit song:
Second, this duet with the great Linda Ronstadt:
Since it’s a Halloween costume joke, I’d like to add this Neville Brothers classic:
I took most of the day off from social media on Sunday. I call it a palate cleanser although it has nothing to do with my taste buds. It’s more of a brain defogger but who the hell wants to admit to brainy fogginess?
Upon first reading, I agreed with the Twitteratti for a change: the story looked like a sensational revelation. Upon second reading, I realized that much of the information was already out there including this segment:
Along with Greene, the conspiratorial pro-Trump Republican from Georgia who took office earlier this year, the pair both say the members who participated in these conversations or had top staffers join in included Rep. Paul Gosar (R-Ariz.), Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.), Rep. Mo Brooks (R-Ala.), Rep. Madison Cawthorn (R-N.C.), Rep. Andy Biggs (R-Ariz.), and Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas).
The Seditious Seven all spoke at or attended the pre-riot rally. There were previous reports that they had met with riot organizers BUT this is the first time we learned that two of the organizers were talking to the House Dipshit Insurrection Select Committee. That still makes this story a big deal as it holds out the possibility that these people might turn on the Seditious Seven or even the Impeached Insult Comedian. I bet that would make the cover:
Josh Marshal wrote a detailed post about the Rolling Stone article, so I don’t have to. Click here for the details. FYI, Hunter Walker is a TPM alum, which means that he can hunt and walk at the same time…
I agree that there’s a strong case for expelling the Seditious Seven once a report has been issued. There’s no chance of it beforehand as members traditionally prefer to let the voters deal with congressional miscreants.
Lauren Boebert is the most vulnerable member of the Seditious Seven: redistricting has put her in the same Colorado district as rising Democratic star Joe Neguse. As to Majorie Taylor Greene, a lot of money is being thrown at her challengers, but both she and Trump were landslide winners in 2020. The district is scarlet red. Somebody stick a Scarlet Q on her head already.
A less sensational but equally interesting article about Dipshit Insurrection planning appeared in the Bezos Post. The venerable Willard Hotel was the center of nefarious efforts by Rudy Giuliani, John Eastman, Boris Epshteyn, and Bernard Kerik to overturn the election by Dr. Hook or crook.
Remember Bernie Kerik? He was Rudy’s police driver when he was mayor. He was later promoted to police chief. Rudy talked W into making Kerik Homeland Security honcho, but the nomination sank in a fetid swamp of scandal. Kerik later pled guilty to 8 felony charges and was eventually pardoned by then President* Pennywise. Of course, he was.
The motley crew of Giuliani, Eastman, Epshteyn, and Kerik (GEEK) tried to convince Vice President Pence to flip but failed. GEEK sounds like an acronymically named rock super group ala CSNY or BLT. Make that stupor group.
I heard a cable news panel call GEEK’s efforts both “sophisticated” and “a well-oiled machine.” If so, why did it fail so spectacularly? Anything involving Giuliani is best described as delusional, booze-addled, and ham-fisted. John Eastman is already running away from his infamous memo. He clearly has a healthy and well-founded fear of disbarment.
The Rolling Stone and WaPo stories have made me even more interested in the work of the Dipshit Insurrection Committee. I wish people would stop calling it a commission. That boat sank earlier this year. The cause was GOP sabotage.
The trolls of Norse myth lived under bridges. In 2021, they live on social media, especially Twitter whose bird logo ought to be a buzzard. They lurk awaiting misfortune to strike someone they dislike then pounce. The worst form of troll is the wingnut troll. They love capitalizing on tragedy in order to make a point, torment someone they loathe, or just for the fun of it. Trolls gotta troll.
It happened again this weekend after a film set tragedy involving Alec Baldwin. Unless you live under a bridge with a Norwegian troll, you’ve already heard of the fatal accident involving Baldwin and a prop gun. It’s something that should never happen, but it did. I’m not going to speculate about what happened because I try neither to be a troll nor to feed them.
Confirmation bias kicked in after the shooting occurred and the wingnut trolls swooped down to mock Alec Baldwin. They hate him because of his Trump impression and his politics. Troll logic told them it was time to pounce. It was an ugly spectacle:
I do believe we summon energy with our words and thoughts and it’s why I try to measure my own.
Hollywood’s treatment of conservatives and disdain for people – that can’t be overlooked as a cause, on a spiritual level, of the Alec Baldwin incident. Hatred summons hatred.
Michael Malice is not that creep’s real surname, it’s Krechmer. He’s a Ukrainian emigree whose pen name is said to be inspired by punk rockers such as Sid Vicious. I prefer to think that it was inspired by the Three Stooges short, Malice In The Palace. He and his fellow Twitter trolls all deserve a Moe-style eye poke. Trolls are often Larrys posing as Moes.
Here’s the deal: I don’t even like Alec Baldwin. From what I know of him as a person, he’s an asshole albeit a talented asshole. He was tabloid fodder for years before his OTT Trump impression made attacking him catnip for wingnuts. Isn’t it bad enough that his brother Stephen is a Trumper?
I fail to see the connection between this terrible tragedy and Baldwin’s politics. It was an accident that could morph into negligent homicide charges for the prop master and/or the armorer on Rust. Baldwin was told that it was a “cold gun” meaning that it was safe. As one of the producers he could be civilly liable but that’s the extent of his culpability as of this writing.
It takes a sick mind to attack someone after an incident such as this. It has nothing to do with bad karma as Info Wars guy Mike Cernovich’s tweet implies. It certainly has nothing to do with Baldwin’s views about BLM or gun control per Boebert’s babblings Trolls gotta troll.
The dread JD Vance who was against Trump before he was for him was called on the carpet by Tim Ryan for his Baldwin tweet:
And this jerk wants to be a United States senator? An asshole is an asshole. Trolls gotta troll.
Some things are not funny. Alec Baldwin accidentally killing cinematographer Halyna Hutchins is as funny as prison rape jokes aimed at Trumpers. I wouldn’t have even made a comparable joke about the anti-Semitic and misogynistic actor Mel Gibson. Ugly is ugly and nasty is nasty regardless of the target.
The wingnut reaction to this sad story reaffirms that there’s no bottom to Trumper depravity. Trolling a tragedy is as bad as it gets.
While writing this post, several Warren Zevon songs came to mind. This one is “dedicated” to Mike Cernovich who seems to think Alec Baldwin’s bad karma led to this fatal accident. Cernovich should know from Bad Karma:
My old “buddy” Steve Scalise of Metry was placed on Chris Wallace’s grill yesterday. He was asked three times about the 2020 election results by the only decent host at Fox News. He declined to admit to a simple truth: that Biden won, and Trump lost.
Scalise is cynical, not stupid. He blows with the wind and the prevailing breeze comes from Mar-a-Dorn. Scalise would rather look like a stupid hack than face an angry Kaiser of Chaos. I think Scalise is afraid of hearing jokes about his hair. It does look like an early-stage chia pet, after all.
Scalise doesn’t mind looking like a hack because he is one. He’s a loyal party man. He waited his turn for the Congressional seat vacated by David Vitter in 2004. He yielded to Bobby Jindal who used it as a stepping stone to a second run for Gret Stet Governor.
Scalise is currently the number 2 GOPer in the house. He’s biding his time waiting for KMac to slip. Scalise has been urged to slit the incoherent one’s throat, but he’s a patient man: if he could wait for PBJ, he can wait for KMac.
As a loyal party man, Scalise is selling the Big Lie and all its variations. He doesn’t believe any of it, but he’s sticking with Trump because he represents the most Republican district in the Gret Stet of Louisiana. He’s another weakling pretending to be a tough guy.
Speaking of fake tough guys, there was a raucous argument on the Tweeter Tube last week started by Never Trump Republican Rick Wilson. He claimed that Democrats were folding on the Dipshit Insurrection investigation. Later that same day, the White House announced that it was REJECTING the Impeached Insult Comedian’s assertion of executive privilege. Wilson then took credit:
Rick Wilson has always been a puffed-up chump and a lying sack of shit. He was the campaign consultant behind the smearing of Senator Max Cleland in 2002. Cleland was a genuine American hero who lost three limbs while serving in Vietnam. Wilson concocted the campaign against him on behalf of empty suit Saxby Chambliss. Cleland was “with the terrorists” so he lost his reelection bid. It was the political equivalent of this scene from Kiss Of Death:
Wilson has been invited to repudiate these tactics but has refused to. As a result, he cannot be trusted. Despite his detestation of Trump, Rick Wilson is a good party man who still enjoys owning the libs. That’s why I will never trust him. I know how to hold a grudge, y’all.
Steve Scalise and Rick Wilson are opposite sides of the same Republican coin. They’re both what John Dean called “conservatives without conscience.” Scalise is putting his hackery to use in service of the Big Lie whereas Wilson still supports the GOP smear tactics of the aughties: “You are either with us or the terrorists.” Thus spake George W Bush who is also a Never Trump Republican.
To be fair to guys like Rick Wilson, they’re still in the conservatives without conscience phase. His fellow puffed-up chump and lying sack of shit Steve Scalise long ago moved on to the radicals without remorse phase. Power is what he wants and if lying for Trump will get him there, so be it.
And that’s the view from the Gret Stet of Louisiana, home of Steve Scalise one of the hackiest hacks who ever hacked me off.
The last word goes to Randy Newman from whom I stole the puffed-up chump line. I only steal from the best.
Things are slowly returning to normal in post-Ida New Orleans. The trash problem seems to have abated somewhat, but there’s still a lot of tree and construction debris about. It’s time to take the debris out of Debrisville.
I usually only have a Spring allergy problem, but that’s no longer true. I suspect it has something to do with the dust in the air after the storm. Whatever it is, I wish it would relent. Achoo.
I’m getting my Pfizer booster shot at noon today. Unlike Gary Cooper in High Noon, I won’t beg for help. I can take a jab with the best of them.
This week’s theme song was written by Jim Morrison and Robbie Krieger for the Doors’ 1967 album Strange Days. It was originally credited to the whole band. That’s what hippies did; not that Morrison was a hippie. He was one of the original goths.
We have two versions of People Are Strange for your listening pleasure: the Doors original and a cover by Echo & the Bunnymen from the 1987 movie, The Lost Boys.
That was almost as strange as the Diane Arbus featured image. Those twins have always given me the heebie jeebies.
Now that I’ve creeped you out, let’s join arms and jump to the break.
Covid is still spreading where I live, the Biden infrastructure plan is being slowed down by…checks notes…the Democrats, the deficit ceiling deadline is looming, the Big Lie is pushed incessantly, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh I need a general timeline cleanse.
So let’s savor a few recent joys. First, on Tuesday General Milley stuffed Tom Cotton into a locker. Watch it as many times as you need to:
Gen Milley stuff Tom Cotton in a locker today, after Cotton asks him why he didn’t resign over Afghanistan. This is one of the best answers I’ve ever heard a military officer give before Congress. pic.twitter.com/NAqbloa29w
Also on Tuesday, a herd of goats that a local Kroeger kept as their weeding crew got loose and roamed the streets in the Buckhead section of Atlanta:
ON THE LOOSE: A herd of goats brought in to eat weeds at a Kroger supermarket in Atlanta, Georgia, escaped Monday — and then roamed the streets eating shrubs. Animal control were called to assist the goats’ owner in wrangling the herd from the area. pic.twitter.com/HYFdWlanQp
That was probably TMI for social media but there’s never enough I for First Draft. I rarely play straight man here but am willing to do so on the Tweeter Tube. My friends may be cruel, but they’re funny. Click on this link for more merriment at my expense. My Twitter handle is Shecky, but I feel more like Rodney Dangerfield right now.
Here’s what happened. It was the stupidest accident I’ve ever had and I’m a lifelong klutz. We soaked our trash bin to remove the Debrisville Post Ida Stank from it. I flipped open the lid, then tried to lean it over to pour out the schmutz. That’s when wet grass acted as a banana peel, and I did a pratfall. My head bashed into the rim of the open bin. That’s where things got bloody.
My forehead turned into a gusher reminiscent of the scene in Giant where James Dean strikes oil on Rock Hudson’s ranch.
Since I was doing dirty work, I was wearing an old t-shirt, which I turned into a tourniquet of sorts. Still, the blood flowed like the Monty Python parody of Sam Peckinpah:
I called not Elizabeth Taylor but Dr. A who took me to an Urgent Care joint to get stapled. I already needed a tetanus shot after stepping on a roofing screw at the cemetery cleanup in honor of my late friend Will. That’s what I get for doing yard work.
I’m at the stage of life where everything reminds me of a story. This is an odd one. Long ago and far away, I worked as a paralegal on a massive anti-trust case. All the users of cement were suing all the cement companies. I was firmly on the plaintiffs’ side.
I worked on the document production at Kaiser Cement HQ in Oakland. In the pre-digital age that meant micro-filming documents. I’d sort through the paperwork and select stuff for them to shoot. It was dull, laborious work. FYI, Shapiro worked at the home office as a coder. We go back farther than either of us is willing to admit.
You’re probably wondering where this is leading. Me too.
I spent a lot of time assessing expense accounts; some valid, others dubious. There was one sales rep who used a lot of staples. I dubbed him 12-staple McGahey. I’m not quite sure if that was the name but he was a Scotsman.
I’m certainly not a Scotsman but one could call me 6-staple Adrastos right now. I cannot wait for the stapling to end and for the scabbing to commence.
A closing message in the spirit of Karloff as interpreted by Phil Hartman:
It’s been 15 days since Hurricane Ida slammed into Southeast Louisiana, but it remains the focus of my attention; such as it is. I’m still tired, fatigued, and exhausted. The storm is much less serious for New Orleans than Katrina, but I’m sixteen years older. It’s less clear if I’m wiser for the extra years and pounds. So it goes.
My focus has been hyper local since Ida struck. I haven’t been following the national political news as closely as usual. I know that the MSM is still wrong about Afghanistan and that Joe Manchin is still an attention whore and drama queen. I’ll get back up to snuff soon enough but I haven’t missed pondering the posturing of the Sinematic senator or the Turtle’s machinations.
Many of us had to throw food away because of the epic loss of power. That, in turn, resulted in the Debrisville Post Ida Stank. Whether or not your trash has been collected or not, the stench is there. It’s giving us Katrina veterans flashbacks to the stinky fridges that dotted our cityscape in 2005 such as this one:
Cajun Tomb, 2005.
This Zappa song says it all:
In addition to the stank of ’05, the spirit of ’05 is alive and well. My do-gooder friend Carolyn is busy helping people. Not bad for a former teevee news reporter whose Twitter handle is @NewsCarolyn. She recently bought a house in St. Bernard Parish aka Da Parish. I’ve been trying to get her to change her handle to @YatCarolyn to no avail. If you’re wondering what a Yat is click here.
One thing that’s entirely different from 2005 is the presence of social media. I used Twitter as a club with which to beat the local utility, Entergy. They’re the cartoon villain of this crisis. I enlisted the help of councilmembers Joe Giarusso and Jay Banks in my dispute with Entergy over their sloppy work in my hood. Thanks, gentlemen.
The featured image is the before picture of the 700 block of Valence Street, here’s an after picture:
It looks better now but I wanted to stick it to Entergy.
The drowned city of 2005 was a man-made event, which is why we call it the Federal Flood. Hurricane Ida was a wind-driven event that’s an example of Mother Nature at her bitchiest. New Orleans is fairly hard hit BUT the epicenter was in St. John, Lafourche, and Terrebonne parishes.
The people of Southeast Louisiana got a break from our grim current reality by watching our beloved New Orleans Saints obliterate the Green Bay Packers 38-3. Sorry Athenae. Scout, and Doc.
Jeopardy host wannabe Aaron Rodgers played an abysmal game. He looked rustier than the Entergy towers that fell during Ida. I had a bit of fun at his expense after he threw some interceptions:
No love for the second tweet? People have already forgotten Mike Richards pulling a Dick Cheney and selecting himself as Alex Trebek’s successor. The malakatude, it burns.
Many New Orleans eateries used to carry an item called the “wop salad.” I took the pulse of my community and found only one place in the metro area that still calls it that. It’s Rocky and Carlo’s in Chalmette. It’s in St. Bernard Parish which once had a councilman named Joey DiFatta. That’s apropos of nothing but I miss him. It’s doubtful that the Chalmatians feel the same way.
I realize that quote is of marginal relevance, but this is a potpourri post in malodorous drag. I usually loathe the smell of potpourri, but it beats the hell out of the Debrisville Post Ida Stank. Ugh just ugh.
Since I mentioned Valence Street and the bayou, the last word goes to my former 13th Ward homies, the Neville Brothers:
I’ve been angry all week. It’s not the ranting, raving, and yelling kind of anger. It’s more of a slow burn over the egregious stupidity and malakatude in the news. I dislike feeling this angry, I prefer to be detached from the news of the day, ice it down with sarcasm, and dismiss it with mockery. I used to compare my style with Athenae’s by calling her fire and me ice. I’m feeling fiery this week, but at least it’s with righteous indignation.
I remain vexed and worse by the MSM coverage of Afghanistan:
The MSM is acting like Biden is a naughty child who disobeyed them. We were on the losing side in a Civil War. A smooth and graceful exit was never in the cards. Biden did the right thing.
In its desperation to nail Biden, the DC MSM has neglected to mention the creeps who got us into the Afghan mess:
The names Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld should be on everyone’s lips and fingertips. They started the Afghanistan conflict, then moved it to the back burner. Biden had the guts to pull the plug on this endless and stupid war.
Cable news is full of former Bush officials attacking the withdrawal. The worst are the Never Trumpers who are showing their true colors by waving their neo-con freak flags. Imagine if Biden had stayed with the small force bequeathed to him by Trump. The Taliban was still likely to make their move and 2,500 soldiers could not have defeated them. That would have led to a genuine bloodbath.
Speaking of former President* Pennywise, there’s a conspiracy theory that he set a trap for Biden with last year’s deal with the Taliban. While it may have turned into a trap, I’m skeptical that it was planned. For one thing, Trump never looks more than a week down the road. For another, he expected to win the election and still believes he did. I think he could pass a polygraph test about the “rigged election.” Believe me.
One more tweet from someone else on how Democrats *should* be reacting:
The response by the gop and so many democrats in dc to events in Afghanistan underlines what I have been saying for years. GOP feels no shame and dems feel shame way too quickly. Biden is right in what he is doing. Support him vigorously.
I for one refuse to give an inch and be reasonable. Any withdrawal was going to be messy. It’s what happens when you lose a war.
Stick to your guns, Mr. President. The war was wrong to begin with. It’s time for it to end.
Also inspiring my righteous indignation are the Covid deniers and mask warriors. Anyone surprised?
Freedom, man.
Yesterday, a friend reported about going to his local CVS. It was jam packed with people buying a new home COVID test in order to comply with the city’s vaccination/test mandate. The tests are five bucks a pop and only valid for 72 hours. It would be much easier and cheaper to get jabbed but that would violate their rights or some such shit.
Freedom, man.
I wrote about wingnut preacher Tony Spell for Bayou Brief last year. He flooded a state education board meeting with his unmasked parishioners forcing them to stop debating whether or not school kids should mask up. Governor Edwards thinks so and so do all rational people. Freedom. man.
We’re all sick and tired of being sick and tired of the anti-mask and anti-vaxx crowd. The burden of everything COVID related is being placed on those of us doing the right thing. I hate wearing a mask, but I do it. Adults do things they don’t like because they’re the right thing to do. Something the Covid deniers will never understand. Hence my righteous indignation.
Freedom, man.
The last word goes to Ron Sexsmith with a song whose title is a play on the word indignation.
I don’t mean the killing me bit literally. It’s a vivid image that I’ve used countless times on Twitter. It’s also why I used the Hamilton Burger-Perry Mason featured image. Now that I think of it, fictional lawyers know more than amateur attorneys. The amateur ones are a Raymond Burr in my saddle…
I nearly used this title when I wrote The Law Is Slow, but I thought that title brought more light than heat. I’m big on bringing light when so many others only bring heat. It’s the curse of our age.
The latest know-nothing legal Tweet comes from former Tea Party dude turned Never-Trumper, the Other Joe Walsh.
The amateur lawyers are killing me. There are clear indications that there is a criminal investigation but these things are not announced in public to placate people on twitter. https://t.co/9bqDe15QS6
I could just leave it there, but I feel like expounding. It’s what pundits do.
One of the most important recent legal developments took place a few weeks ago. It’s when DOJ announced that Trump regime officials could NOT invoke executive privilege. I celebrated it in a Not Everything Sucks post, but it was largely ignored by those who prefer drama to substance. That includes most of the MSM who miss the constant drama and leaks from the previous administration.
I think First Draft newbie Cassandra nailed it as a part of last night’s Other Joe Walsh conversation:
i say this over and over. this White House and this DOJ do not leak. it'll all come out when all of the evidence is there and it is airtight. there are Proud Boys cooperating. everyone needs patience.
BTW, if you don’t follow Cassandra on Twitter please do so. I’m uncertain if she’ll sing any strange opera, but she’s insightful and fierce as well as operatic. As long as it’s not Klingon opera, I can handle it.
Back to recent legal developments. Former acting Attorney General Rosen testified because of DOJ’s move on executive privilege. I hope nobody thinks that Bill Barr’s former deputy did this out of the goodness of his heart. He’s hoping to avoid prosecution and/or disbarment. Besides, coup plotting was a bridge too far for both Rosen and Barr. I just said something nice about Bill Barr. There’s a first time for everything.
There’s been a lot of talk about the House Select Committee, but Dick Durbin the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee is determined to get to the bottom of the intrigue at DOJ.
The Senate Judiciary Committee, under Chair Dick Durbin (D-IL), appears to be doing most of its work in private, rather than in set-piece hearings. Things appear to have kicked into higher gear after Attorney General Merrick Garland allowed former Trump-era DOJ officials to testify about what is now emerging as a fairly elaborate coup plot hatched in the waning months of the Trump administration. Judiciary committee investigators jumped at the chance and some who were involved in the plot – or at least were witnesses to the plot – have jumped themselves … to testify. Rosen apparently was in a bit of a rush to testify – once Garland gave the go-ahead – before anyone on the Trump side could get into court to try to stop him. The testimony was also conducted out of the press spotlight so it would be done before anyone who might want to block it knew.
That’s how investigations should be handled. It’s best to sneak up on suspected criminals before pouncing, especially when they’re former presidents*. One reason the Mueller Probe was a disappointment was that Team Trump saw it coming and mounted a concerted albeit mendacious counterattack.
All of these factors lead me to believe that there *is* a current investigation at DOJ. I realize the amateur lawyers don’t think so because they prefer to wallow in their “Merrick Garland sucks” narrative. Repeat after me: The law is slow.
Former US Attorneys Barbara McQuaid and Joyce Vance collaborated with Larry Tribe on a roadmap for a Trump investigation. When I saw Joyce discuss the piece on MSNBC, she said that she thought an investigation was underway. She added that she too preferred to investigate behind closed doors when she was a US Attorney. Always trust a cat person:
Another way in which the amateur lawyers are killing me is this: the incessant chants for Trump to be jailed immediately. While I’m in favor of prosecuting Trump, in America, we don’t just lock people up before filing charges. That’s what the Impeached Insult Comedian wanted to do to his enemies. It’s company that I don’t want to keep.
Even if Trump is indicted and convicted, he can still run for federal office unless the GOP changes its nominating rules. Anyone think that’s even remotely possible?
Here’s how I described the run from jail possibility in an earlier post, The Ghost Of Roy Cohn:
… a reminder that even if Donald Trump is convicted of a crime, he can still run for office from prison. Eugene V. Debs received 913, 664 votes while languishing in federal prison in 1920. Debs was a political prisoner locked up for his anti-war views. Trump is, of course, a criminal who deserves everything the justice system can throw at him.
The amateur lawyers of the MSM and Twitter need to learn patience. The law is slow, it doesn’t work as fast as Twitter, nor should it. We need to get this right, not fast.
The last word is an ironic one. It goes to the Real Joe Walsh with a song he wrote with Glenn Frey and Don Henley:
This Tisserand tome was my birthday present from Dr. A. Thanks, babe.
Michael Tisserand is the author of The Kingdom Of Zydeco, Sugarcane Alley, and Krazy: George Herriman In Black and White as well as a charter member of the NOLA Twitter Pun Community. He’s better known at First Draft as the Parade Route Book Signer. I might as well share the historic Twitter exchange:
Michael’s latest book is a collaboration with his late father Jerry Tisserand. An alternate title for My Father When Young could be What I Did During The Lockdown.
After his father’s funeral in 2008, Michael brought a bunch of boxes home to New Orleans, which he didn’t open until the pandemic. One box contained a treasure trove of slides:
“I pulled a few slides at random and held them to the light. Then a few more. At first, I didn’t understand what I was seeing. Then I realized: the photos had been taken by someone I never knew—my father when young.”
Michael had no idea that Jerry’s hobby had been photography. Tisserand the Elder stopped snapping pictures when he became a family man. Not only was Jerry a photography buff, he had an uncanny eye for a compelling image.
I recall when Michael first started posting his father’s pictures on his Facebook feed. I believe my initial reaction was: Damn, these are good. Others encouraged him to do something special with his father’s treasure trove. A book was born.
The most startling revelation to the son was that the father had visited New Orleans during Carnival 1959. Jerry’s pictures of the French Quarter on that long ago Mardi Gras day document a lost world. He also inadvertently stumbled into members of one of the first gay carnival krewes, Yuga. Jerry’s pictures of gay Mardi Gras don’t judge, they document. That’s the essence of good street photography.
The book is divided into three parts. The first, Taking Leave features pictures taken when Jerry was in the Army and stationed in Europe. My favorite European snapshot was taken in Barcelona and is called Children and Pigeons. Its centerpiece is a toddler dressed in a white church dress. I hate pigeons but I love this picture.
The second part of My Father When Young documents Jerry Tisserand’s return home to Evansville Indiana, which he called E-Town. I have conjoined favorites: pictures called Lighter and Smoke. They depict some Hoosier ladies lighting up cigars. I’m not a fan of cigar smoke but I am a fan of these images. They remind me of this Cole Porter song:
Anything Goes fits the third part of My Father When Young as well. I mentioned Jerry Tisserand’s Mardi Gras trip earlier. It’s the grand finale of the book in a segment named for a Professor Longhair song: Go To The Mardi Gras.
My favorite Mardi Gras photo is called Searching For A Zulu Coconut. In part, because it shows how much smaller Zulu’s floats were in 1959. The guy begging for what remains Zulu’s signature throw isn’t stretching or jumping, he’s hoping to be handed a prized coconut. I like smaller-scale Carnival. It’s one reason I’m in Krewe du Vieux.
My Father When Young is a work of love. Michael’s introduction tells the story of the father he knew and the gifted photographer he discovered. That makes Michael a lucky man. I’ve had friends who learned less salubrious things when they went through their parents’ possessions. Instead, Michael learned that, for a brief moment, his father was the Robert Frank of E-Town.
I mentioned that My Father When Young was a birthday present from Dr. A. That led to another exchange with the author:
I don’t know what I love more, that this was your birthday present or that my name remains Parade Route Book Signer
He also threatened to make me recreate the book cover when it’s re-autographed. I couldn’t do a headstand when I was young and thin let alone now. Never gonna happen, my friend.
It’s time to grade Michael’s lockdown homework. I give My Father When Young 4 stars and an Adrastos Grade of A. Well done, sir.
You’re probably expecting the last word to go to Ringo Starr with George Harrison’s Photograph. I like to keep my readers off balance, so the last word goes to Gary Louris with the opening track of his new album, Jump For Joy. Its alternate title could be: What I Did During The Lockdown. Well done, sir.
I usually hate Congressional hearings. The members talk too much. Most of them have no idea how to pose or frame a question. The first day of the House Dipshit Insurrection Select Committee hearings was different: solemn, dignified, and focused.
Speaker Pelosi should thank feckless House GOP leader Kevin McCarthy for boycotting the committee. There are no wingnuts determined to speak over others and put on a show for the cameras. The committee is small: only 9 members. The two Republicans are willing to face the scorn of their idiot leader who denounced them as Pelosi Republicans. Nobody cares what KMac thinks. He maneuvered himself into oblivion last week.
The four police officers who testified were great witnesses and deserve a shout-out: Aquillo Gonnell, Michael Fanone, Daniel Hodges, and Harry Dunn. They epitomize the sort of people who *should* be in law enforcement. During the Dipshit Insurrection, they protected and served. As Adam Kinzinger said, “You guys won. You guys held.”
They were all impressive, but Capitol copper Harry Dunn stood out: both literally and figuratively. Dunn is a big dude. He’s 6’7″ and built like an old school NBA power forward such as the late Wes Unseld who played his entire career for the Baltimore/Capitol/Washington Bullets.
Officer Dunn was denounced before the hearing by that entitled little shit Tucker Carlson as “an angry left-wing activist.”
Dunn, a 13-year-veteran of the force, testified that as rioters were nearing the a room directly off the House floor, they shouted about having been invited by Trump to “stop the steal” — prevent the congressional affirmation of Joe Biden’s victory. He said those rioters said “nobody voted” for Biden.
“I’m a law enforcement officer, and I do my best to keep politics out of my job, but in this circumstance, I responded: ‘Well, I voted for Joe Biden. Does my vote not count? Am I nobody?'” said Dunn, who is Black. “That prompted a torrent of racial epithets. One woman in a pink MAGA shirt yelled: ‘Did you hear that, guys? This n—– voted for Joe Biden.’ Then the crowd, perhaps around 20 people, joined in screaming, ‘Booo, f—— n—–.’
“No one had ever, ever called me a n—– while wearing the uniform of a Capitol Police officer,” Dunn continued, adding that after the riot he heard from other Black officers who faced racial abuse from the mob. “One officer told me he had never, in his 40 years of life, had been called a n—– to his face, and that streak ended on January 6th. Yet another Black officer later told me he had been confronted by insurrectionists in the Capitol who told him to ‘put your gun down, and we’ll show you what kind of n—– you really are.'”
The Trump mob showed what kind of cowards they are. There’s safety in numbers. None of them would have dared to abuse Harry Dunn one-on-one.
The sub-text of the hearing was ingratitude. The ingratitude of Republican lawmakers whose lives were saved by the cops who risked their own lives to protect them. The Trumpers are lionizing Ashli Babbitt and calling her fellow rioters political prisoners. I know what to call them: Terrorists.
Congressional loons Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Paul Gosar, and Louis Gohmert Piles (hereinafter the Four Gs) showed what they were made of yesterday. They staged a “protest” outside the Justice Department. They demanded the release of insurrectionists who they claim are political prisoners. So the QAnon Shaman is the new Andrey Sakharov? Who knew?
It was a disgusting display of cosplay courage: they were run off by a guy with a whistle. I am not making this up. Here’s the proof:
Reps. Gaetz, Gosar, Gohmert, and Greene’s DOJ presser is being derailed by one whistler. pic.twitter.com/aAcsSuRSBx
The officers made it clear that they want those behind the insurrection held accountable. It was Harry Dunn who inspired the post title: “If a hitman is hired, and he kills somebody, the hitman goes to the jail. But not only does the hitman go to jail, but the person who hired him does.”
We all know who he’s talking about: former President* Pennywise. He’s incapable of planning anything but capable of inciting a riot. That’s what he did on Twelfth Night, 2021.
The last word is inspired by the Four Gs DOJ Mishigas and the guy who made them look ridiculous:
The brain-dead response of the MSM to Pelosi’s power play has been hilarious as pointed out by Never Trumper Tim Miller:
“There need to be people on the 1/6 committee who literally supported a MAGA coup or else it’s not bipartisan” has got to be the stupidest beltway brain bleed take in a while.
How dare Speaker Pelosi not allow Gym Jordan to wreck the investigation? KMac selected him to turn it into a shit show. Pelosi refused to play along.
The MSM was confused by Nancy Smash’s power move so much so that KMac walked into her trap by withdrawing from the Dipshit Insurrection Select Committee. That perfects their fuck-up in refusing to participate in a 1/6 Commission over which they’d have veto power over subpoenas. Now they have no representation, influence, or power. They won’t be on teevee when the hearings air either. It was a stupid move by a stupid man. Thanks, KMac.
When hundreds of angry Trump supporters attacked the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6 after being incited by the president, Rep. Liz Cheney was inside with other members of congress, including Rep. Jim Jordan.
Jordan — who had supported Trump’s false claims that the 2020 election was stolen — offered to help Cheney out of the aisle.
She wasn’t having it, according to a new book.
“That fucking guy Jim Jordan. That son of a bitch,” Cheney told Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Gen. Mark Milley on the phone, detailing the siege, according to I Alone Can Fix It, by Carol Leonnig and Philip Rucker.
“While these maniacs are going through the place, I’m standing in the aisle and he said, ‘We need to get the ladies away from the aisle. Let me help you,’ ” recalled Cheney, then the House of Representatives’ No. 3 Republican, per the book. “I smacked his hand away and told him, ‘Get away from me. You fucking did this.’ ”
I undeleted the expletives. We still have a fuck quota at First Draft even without Athenae and Jude. Fuck, yeah.
One thing I respect about the Cheneys is that they’re good haters and even better grudge holders. Liz Cheney’s hate for that fucking guy Gym Jordan runs deep.
“We will run our own investigation,” McCarthy said at a news conference, calling Pelosi a “lame duck speaker” and accusing her of an “egregious abuse of power” and of “destroying the institution.”
That was KMac’s OJ Simpson moment. Remember when the Juice got loose and claimed that he’d investigate the murders? That never happened. Instead he wrote a book called If I Did It.
KMac’s book could be titled How I Tried To Kill Democracy.
I eagerly await a subpoena landing on KMac’s desk.
The last word goes to The Kinks. Just imagine Gym Jordan singing Dave’s part and Liz Cheney singing Ray’s.
After saying that NSA officials have refused to comply with requests from Republican members on the House Intelligence panel, McCarthy turned his focus to Carlson’s wild allegations against the NSA.
“Now, there is a public report that NSA read the emails of Fox News host Tucker Carlson,” McCarthy said. “Although NSA publicly denied targeting Carlson, I have serious questions regarding this matter that must be answered.”
McCarthy then announced that he has recruited Nunes to investigate the allegations that the NSA has denied.
“Given this disturbing trend, I’ve asked HPSCI Ranking Member Devin Nunes to investigate and find answers on behalf of the American people,” McCarthy said. “The NSA cannot be used as a political instrument, and House Republicans will ensure accountability and transparency.”
Accountability? Transparency? From KMAC? He was against the Dipshit Insurrection before he was for it. This is some funny stuff, y’all.
Glad to hear that Nunes isn’t too busy suing Twitteratti to do his job, which consists of cooking up conspiracy theories and fluffing former President* Pennywise.
You know things are weird when the NSA goes public. The Mothertucker always brings out the worst in everyone. This whole spy in the house of hate shtick is just his latest lie. It’s what he does.
The last word goes to Was (Not Was) and Steve Winwood with different songs with the same title:
I might as well throw the DBs in the deep state deep end and see if they can swim as well:
