Paperback 926: The Doom Stone / Cornell Woolrich (Avon T-408)

Paperback 926: Avon T-408 (PBO, 1960) (serialized in Argosy in late '30s)

Title: The Doom Stone
Author: Cornell Woolrich
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $15 (tight and complete but super-water-damaged)

Best things about this cover:

• Vampires shower too.
•  "I said MOOD RING, mom. What am I supposed to do with a DOOM STONE?" "I thought you and your little friends could summon the dead, dear."
• No pupils, no nipples, no problem!

Best things about this back cover:

• Skeletor Eastwood and his international gang of the undead want their goddman doom stone back.
• Aw jeez, why are the men always selling their souls and the women giving their bodies. Can't we, just once, reverse that?
• "Insult to Southern womanhood"!? How? I hope the Doom Stone insults some lady's cornbread.

Page 123~

The Chinese girl in the ricksha said, in an astonishingly genuine Cockney accent that must have rubbed off on her from long association with merchant-mariners and limey tars, "Don't tyke too long, byeby. We imes to get there before the plyce closes down, doncher knaow." 

I think I will add Dr. Doncher Knaow to my list of aliases.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 893: Fallout for a Spy / Richard L. Hershatter (Ace 22680)

Paperback 893: Ace 22680 (PBO, 1969)

Title: Fallout for a Spy
Author: Richard L. Hershatter
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $10-15

Best things about this cover:

• This is an artist who just could Not get the woman's head right. Weird shapeless hair helmet + sun-baked skeleton face. Dude in the chair is not turned on. He's frightened.
• The rest of her, however, is nicely rendered. Cute underwear.
• "Richard L. Hershatter," as depicted here, is the most ludicrously serifed name of all time.
• "Shatter her … with Hershatter (Pour Homme)"
• Half-naked chairlessness was apparently a big trend with '60s ladies:

[Paperback 417]

And the back cover:

Best things about this back cover:

• Rand Stannard! I love tough-guy names that sound like erection euphemisms.
• "Airborne rape" … that sounds horrifying and yet is making me laugh. I was not aware that this was a valid rape subcategory.
• Wait, did Rand get raped? Or did he rape someone? Either way, I have follow-up questions.
• "Sex-scarred"? "Algerian Roulette?" Is this cover copy being generated by some remedial pulp algorithm?

Page 123~

Mitchell looked as though he'd swallowed something sour. "Ever been made to feel like a jackass by a computer?"

Stannard arched an eyebrow.

"Not Rand Stannard, old chum," chortled Rand Stannard. "Rand Stannard don't play the sap for no one."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 875: Live and Let Die / Ian Fleming (Perma Books M-3048)

Paperback 875: Perma Books M-3048 (1st ptg, 1956)

Title: Live and Let Die
Author: Ian Fleming
Cover artist: James Meese

Estimated value: $75-100

Best things about this cover:

• The world's most ruthless diving coach doesn't want to hear your bullshit about the Chinese judge having it in for you.
• "Scrooge McDuck had to go on vacation. You deal with me now."
• You'd think with all those gold coins, he could afford a nicer office. Something less in-a-cave.
• Just in case you didn't notice: this cover is all kinds of fabulous.

Best things about this back cover:

• Tee-Hee. No, I'm not laughing, that's his name. His name is Tee-Hee. Tee-Hee. OK, now I'm laughing. Keep up!
• No reaction shot from Bond. I assume he just stiff-upper-lipped it, then bagged a leggy stewardess/assassin, then had a martini.
• "Take Mr. Bond to Central Perk … introduce him to Ross and Phoebe. You're job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA, Mr. Bond."

Page 123~

Soon they were over Miami and the monster chump-traps of the eastern seaboard, their arteries ablaze with neon.

Monster chump-traps! Nice phrase, Mr. Fleming.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 872: The Baited Blonde / Robinson MacLean (Dell 508)

Paperback 872: Dell 508 (1st ptg, 1951)

Title: The Baited Blonde
Author: Robinson MacLean
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Estimated value: $10-15

Best things about this cover:

• Mike had his own special way of taking a woman's pulse.
• Mike was never very good at dancing.
• Mike always had trouble getting the store mannequins into naturalistic poses.
• You do *not* want to fuck with Mike's hookah. You just don't.

Best things about this back cover:

• Middle East Mapback! With the Suez Canal inset! Hot.
• "How 'bout instead of Iran … a sad strip club?" "Go for it!"
• Screw you, Cyprus! No pink tint for you!

Page 123~

And after you open a can of salmon you got to do something. 

Best motivational poster caption ever. If you don't use this line today, tomorrow, and for the rest of your life, something is wrong with you.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 870: Saigon / Nick Carter (Award Books A122F)

Paperback 870: Award Books A122F (PBO, 1964)

Title: Saigon
Author: Nick Carter [Michael Avallone & Valerie Moolman]
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $7

Best things about this cover:

• Nothing says "Saigon" like a white lady in lacy lingerie on a candy-striped couch. I always say.
• Nick Carter is the Ellery Queen of spy "chillers." Is he the author? The character? Both? Neither? The Smug Floating Head of Nick Carter says "Don't overthink it, baby. Just chill on my couch and I'll bring you a drink. [looks at her hand] OK, five drinks."

Best things about this back cover:

• Spy vs. Spy > this.
• If you're a big fan of torture / rape, then … "Saigon," I guess. Jeez.
• Nick Carter went on to make millions in the exercise equipment market, though sales didn't really take off until he changed "Killmaster" to "Thighmaster."

Page 123~

The blade flicked from the narrow haft without a whisper. Nick crouched. Sighted. And threw. The head turned slightly. Beautiful!

Nick Carter: Eroticizing Ice-Pick Death Scenes Since 1964

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 814: Assignment: Moon Girl / Edward S. Aarons (Gold Medal d1849)

Paperback 814: Gold Medal d1849 (PBO, 1967)

Title: Assignment: Moon Girl
Author: Edward S. Aarons
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $24


Best things about this cover:

• Assignment: Tiger Butt.
• Fear has done terrible things to her Hand.
• The brave, lonely harem girl protected Algaeville's last monument with the only proven defense against tiger attacks: sexiness.
• Those letters look like an art project I once worked on in third grade.
• This book is in nearly flawless condition. You can almost smell the moon algae tiger monument harem pants.

Best things about this back cover:

• The lady and the tiger? Aw, you mean the front cover was a metaphor all along?! Boooo!
• "Get on down to The Lady and the Tiger—half price on Har-Buri-Tos through Tuesday!"
• Sam Durell sees that you're tailing him and doesn't like it.

Page 123~

Nobody was in the clear, these days.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 771: Moonraker / Ian Fleming (Signet S1850)

Paperback 771: Signet S1850 (1st ptg, 1960)

Title: Moonraker
Author: Ian Fleming
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Yours for: $25


Best things about this cover:

• The long-awaited Moonmower prequel!
• Remember when NASA designed its launch towers to looks like giant lady spies? Man, the '60s were awesome!
• I choose to read only the text to the right of her head, thus: "a luscious lady spy that can blow the…" Now *that's* suspense!
• This came out in 1960, when Janet Leigh's haircut from "Psycho" was apparently very popular.

Best things about this back cover:

• Here's rocket in your eye!
• Let he who is without a rocket in his eye cast the mote verily from within thine own talent … is how the bible verse goes, I believe.
• You had me at "Flamboyant!"
• DRAX is an occasional crossword answer. Just FYI.

Page 123~

"I'm terribly sorry, Sir Hugo. But could you possibly stop for just a moment? I want, I mean, I'm terribly sorry but I'd like to powder my nose. It's terribly stupid of me. I'm so sorry."

Hugo Drax then wondered angrily why Gala didn't go back at McDonald's, when she had the chance. I mean, she drank all that soda, what did she think was going to happen? God! Now we're never gonna get to uncle Bob's by dinner! Gimme your Walkman, Gala! Stupid girls don't get Walkmen!

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 696: Assignment—Lili Lamaris / Edward S. Aarons (Gold Medal s911)

Paperback 696: Gold Medal s911 (PBO, 1959)

Title: Assignment—Lili Lamaris
Author: Edward S. Aarons
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Yours for: $7


Best things about this cover:

• Cover would be So Hot if it were less smudgy and closer-up. PAN IN!
• This is somewhere between super-sexy and "help me, I've fallen."
• She appears to be wearing ... mist. How convenient.
• I like how she just jams her right leg into the text, like "Don't look at those stupid words! Why are you looking down there when I'm up here!?"

Best things about this back cover:

• I like the attitude suggested by his face, i.e. "whatever, sketch me or don't sketch me, I don't give a fuck."
• Since "the enemy" is unnamed, I'm gonna go ahead and assume it's "lizard people."
• "Tenth book"?! He wrote 42 novels in this series! (This has been your "holy crap" literary moment of the day.)

Page 123~

He paused, listening to the silence here that was not quite a silence, but like the deep, patient breathing of a waiting animal. 

That's just Lili. She breathes funny when she's naked-crawling.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 641: The Blue Kimono Kill / Walt Sheldon (Gold Medal k1546)

Paperback 641: Gold Medal k1546 (PBO, 1965)

Title: The Blue Kimono Kill
Author: Walt Sheldon
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $15


Best thing about this cover:

• "Honey, we need to talk. Don't be made but ... it's about your lipstick."
• Mmm, chick-flavored.
• And the winner of this cover is: The Lantern.

Best things about this back cover:

• God save me from a text-only back cover, ugh.
• "But Marlin's academic career didn't last long. For, you see, Marlin was a fish."
• Adjective of the Day: "Zen-spouting."

Page 123~

"You strike me as a man who could be brave, Marlin, in, let us say, the face of crude torture."

"Let us not say, and then say that we did," countered Marlin.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 610: Morocco Jones in The Case of the Golden Angel / Jack Baynes (Crest 325)

Paperback 610: Crest Books 325 (PBO, 1959)

Title: Morocco Jones in The Case of the Golden Angel
Author: Jack Baynes
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Yours for: $11


Best things about this cover:

• Hey look, it's Robert Mitchum's slow, pin-headed cousin ... Morocco.
• What are you, a pirate? Button your blouse, Morocco.
• LOVE her pose / expression. It's like she's upset that no one's paying attention to her: "Oh, my, there's a rip in the back of my dress, boys. Look. Boys? Boys!!!"
• The boys are developing their patented angry secret handshake.
• And Morocco floated like a besotted wine-colored god in the heavens ... 

Best things about this back cover:

• This back cover was made with some early, horrid version of Photoshop. "Crop! Ok, now ... blue-ify!"
• Oh, *that* Kansas City.
• Of course nobody told Morocco that the "S.O.S." stood for "Sad Old Spy." It would've hurt his feelings.

Page 123~

Dave tossed Morocco a taut grin. "What honest labor union leader could afford a perch like this one?"

You have to make your grin taut before you toss it, otherwise it just sort of dies in mid-air.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 605: The Ambushers / Donald Hamilton (Gold Medal k1333)

Paperback 605: Gold Medal k1333 (PBO, 1963)

Title: The Ambushers
Author: Donald Hamilton
Cover artist: McD (?)

Yours for: $11


Best things about this cover:

• "Isn't my sniper boyfriend dreamy!?"
• "So sorry, señor. The chupacabra, I think she got away."
• What is this "pansy class" and how do I enroll? Sounds fun. Also, I would love to see Matt Helm call Mike Hammer a "pansy." 

Best things about this back cover:

• Murder—in the card catalogue!
• How does one "play God to a beautiful, beat-up girl"? "OK, you be Job, and I'll go hide behind that bush and ..."
• I do like to order my thrillers by the half-dozen.

Page 123~

In my terrible predicament I'd hardly be giving attention to stray blondes. I kept my eyes on the men.

I assume his "terrible predicament" is "being undercover at a gay bar." Or he has some unspeakable injury that makes arousal painful. Either way, don't worry, Matt. It gets better.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 584: The Delicate Ape / Dorothy B. Hughes (Pocket Books 422)

Paperback 584: Pocket Books 422 (1st ptg, 1946)

Title: The Delicate Ape
Author: Dorothy B. Hughes
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $17


Best things about this cover:

• I have not read this book, but I dearly hope that this cover is some kind of surreal metaphor and not an actual scene from the book. 
• Who would pick this book up based on its cover? "Hmmm, I've always been curious about apes who are also sexual sadists and aesthetes ... I guess I'll give this a try."
• Love the flag motif against the camouflage background. It's like some horribly ill-conceived army recruitment poster. (Upon closer inspection, it's actually a camo-colored map of the world)

Best things about this back cover:

• Well, if you want to know what this book is about, that first paragraph really isn't going to help you much.
• I think the cover is a depiction of "a seductive force in evil hands." 
• I assume the information he has, the information everyone wants, is data on the disastrous consequences of a flower diet in the ape population.

Page 123~

"He's an old man. Something could happen."

"These opportune events do not often occur." Watkins scooped a spoon of ice cream. 

Spy's gotta eat.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 575: Murderers' Row / Donald Hamilton (Gold Medal k1391)

Paperback 575: Gold Medal k1391 (2nd ptg, 1964)

Title: Murderers' Row
Author: Donald Hamilton
Cover artist: McD... (not sure, Emmett McDowell? John McDermott?)

Yours for: $15
Best things about this cover:

• This is pretty emblematic of what generally happens to paperback covers over the course of the '60s—the truly great cover art cedes ground to branding devices (detective name, detective icon, author's name). Here, the poor lady is literally being squeezed out of frame by the floating orange crate stamp of a title. How is a girl supposed to enjoy her braless marsh-wading under such conditions!?
• Is she washing the dog poop off her other shoe?
• I like her purse. It's sparkly.
• This book is in perfect condition. Totally unread.

Best things about this back cover:

• I love the idea of U.S. intelligence being stored on 3x5 cards like it's some 5th-grader's book report.
• Donald Hamilton is ... my 11th-grade chemistry teacher!
• "Code Name: Eric" = least sexy movie title ever.

Page 123~

"Straight ahead. Not in there, that's the head—bathroom to you."

Business idea—start prefab shipboard bathroom business. Call it "Bathroom 2 U."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 490: The Fifth Man / Manning Coles (Berkley F88)

Paperback 490: Berkley Medallion F880 (1st ptg, 1964)

Title: The Fifth Man
Author: Manning Coles
Cover artist: n/a

Yours for: $6

Best things about this cover:

• OK, it's kind of dull, but what it lacks in the half-naked lady department it partially makes up for in the cool graphic design department.
• I like the chess pieces as a visual representation of the title. Very clever. "Check mate." "But that's not even a..." "I SAID [gun cocking sound] 'check mate'."
• I'm going to suggest that Tommy Hambledon is a lousy name for a hero (or a villain, or a person anyone might care to read about). Unless you play a mean pinball or design overpriced red white & blue mall clothes, if you are a grown man you should not go by "Tommy."

Best things about this back cover:

• Great design, but that phrase doesn't exactly pop. There's just no menace to the word "portfolio."
• Looking at Tommy Hambledon's other "adventures," I'm led to wonder why this book doesn't have the word "Today" in it.

Page 123~

"I am very much obliged to you, Superintendent," said Warren.

"Don't mention it. I am delighted to see you alive, Detective Inspector. I—we—began to think you weren't."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 439: The Dark Tunnel / Kenneth Millar (Lion Books 48)

Paperback 439: Lion Books 48 (1st ptg, 1950)

Title: The Dark Tunnel
Author: Kenneth Millar (Ross Macdonald)
Cover artist: E. Walter

Yours for: $28


Best things about this cover:

• It's like we've caught her midway through morphing into a snake.
• Why is she looking at us? Her potential killer is ... there. Over there. To your left, lady. Stop looking at me, Serpentina!
• Of all the gay taglines I've seen, this one of the weakest. Tells me nothing about what happens. No sense of story. No sense of action. Tagline doesn't clearly go with picture. Yuck.
• "Dark Tunnel" is a not-very-subtle title for a novel pre-occupied with homosexuality.

Best things about this back cover:

• The dark tunnel is all of a sudden a bright doorway.
• Lion deals with male homosexuality on its covers more frequently and earlier than most other publishers. It's truly remarkable how obsessed the cover copy is with the gender/sexuality of this spy—which is not even an important issue in this book until the end, and even then seems more tacked-on than essential (if I'm remembering correctly—I could be conflating it with "I, the Jury").

Page 123~

I went into this inner room to look up 'taillour.' My throat was constricted with excitement. For the first and last time in my life, I knew how philologists must feel when they're on the track of an old word used in a new way.

And this immediately becomes the nerdiest thriller of all time. Sidenote: This scene takes place at the Middle English Dictionary, housed at University of Michigan, where both Kenneth Millar and I earned Ph.D.s in English (50+ years apart). The Dark Tunnel was his first novel (orig. pub'd 1944).

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 411: Modesty Blaise / Peter O'Donnell (Fawcett/Crest R899)

Paperback 411: Fawcett/Crest R899 (1st ptg, 1966)

Title: Modesty Blaise
Author: Peter O'Donnell
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $15


Best things about this cover:

• I challenge the spy-worthiness of those boots. Everything else is sleek and pragmatic (even the pile of hair, which could be hiding, I don't know, throwing stars or a bottle opener or something), but those heels wouldn't last 10 seconds in Abbottabad.
• She has the look of a McGinnis girl, but there's something ... not quite right. A lifelessness. I mean, I usually think McGinnis girls look a little dead-eyed, but they have a certain something that pops. This woman doesn't have it.
• This is a movie tie-in paperback. Movie is apparently a kind of spoof of spy movies. The "Modesty Blaise" franchise is weird. Starts in comics (as a female alternative to 007), and blows up from there.
• As for the background—looks like something borrowed from a kindergarten classroom. What the hell?

Best things about this back cover:

• Her expression in that second drawing. Is she flipping a man and singing "My Prerogative" at the same time? Impressive.
• Wow, this cover copy is leaden. Not campy, not funny, not outlandish—just predictable and stupid.
• "Dirk Bogarde" will now be added to my long list of potential aliases.

Page 123~

"Yet she's all woman," Hagan said, and felt his loins throb with sudden memory of her.

I don't think that's quite how loins work. Even a 16-yr-old isn't going to go from zero to "throb" at the speed of thought.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 404: On Her Majesty's Secret Service / Ian Fleming (Signet P2732)

Paperback 404: Signet P 2732 (15th ptg, ca. 1969)

Title: On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Author: Ian Fleming
Cover artist: photo cover

Yours for: $13


Best things about this cover:

• Ladies Love Cool James
• Ladies also Love Quartered Lazenby
• These all seem like professional models, except for that one lady who is so rapt by Lazenby's prodigious hunk of man-scalp that she's raising her hand in astonishment while simultaneously setting out to scale his head.
• The fact that Diana Rigg is *not* on the cover of this novel is a crime against humanity.

Best things about this back cover:

• Aargh, stupid cheap books that can't be bothered to put different images on the back!
• How much do I want to have some business cards made that read "Ernest Stavro Blofeld — Master Artist of Cruelty / Licensed & Bonded / Walk-ins Welcome! [picture of kittens]"
• "...his horror-stained career" — oh, man, horror stains are the Hardest to get out. Trust me.

Page 123~

Bond pointed his skis down toward the tree-line, got down in his ugly crouch and shot, his skis screaming, into white space.

Wow. Nobody writes a sex scene quite like Fleming.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Paperback 344: 5 Beds to Mecca / Rod Gray (Tower 43-944)

Paperback 344: Tower 43-944 (PBO, 1968)

Title: 5 Beds to Mecca (The Lady from L.U.S.T. #4)
Author: Rod Gray
Cover artist: Uncredited [Paul Rader]

Yours for: Nope—staying here (another gift of the generous Doug Peterson)

Best things about this cover:

• As Doug can testify, this one left me completely speechless—or, rather, it left me saying "Oh my god" repeatedly until I took it all in. I mean ... I've seen the gun/crotch motif before, but scimitar/crotch! That's a new one.
• Well, that's *one* way of taking care of unwanted hair ...
• I am guessing that you were so blown away the vagina dentata that it took you a while to notice that this lady is also carrying a gun (!) in her completely useless garter (!!?).
• The Man from U.N.C.L.E. spawned a number of these kinds of parodies in the '60s. "L.U.S.T." is one of the better acronyms I've seen, in that the literal explanation is completely plausible.
• I think this cover is designed to make you (man) wish you were that sword. Legs spread, hands wrapped around hilt ... etc. Fans of subtlety will have to look elsewhere.

Best things about this back cover:

• Not just white slavery—Milk-white slavery!
  
• "Hypodermics hiss" is my favorite part of this nonsensical paragraph.
• Kama Sutra? Huh. I guess east is east is east.
• "Shiekh" is apparently a brand of shoes. I've never seen that spelling otherwise.

Page 123~

"Unbelievable," she whispered. "There is no sag, despite their size. It is as if they were equipped with springs."

Other randomly pulled quotes include:

"My vaginae constrictor muscles were the only part of me that moved."

And

"You have a couple of cannons yourself," he quipped, eyeballing my female-female breasts, all 38 inches D cup of them, where they stood at attention, brown nipples saluting. They were rock hard as they aimed themselves at his broad chest."

"Let's shoot each other," I suggested.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Interlude — 2 books I "borrowed" from the BPOE in St. Maries, ID

Come on, how was I *not* supposed to take these?:


Best things about this cover:

• So ... it's about a vengeful virgin? Why not just call it that?
• I'm not sure I'm convinced that Mr. FancyShirt QuaintPinky could make a door explode like that. Seriously, look at his "grip" on that gun. It's like he's drinking tea or something.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Reifel" — from the Dept. of Unimaginative Naming

Best things about this cover:

• When grilling Nick Carter, make sure his massive barrel chest is well basted.
• "Just a second Nick, I'm almost at the next level of 'Missile Command'..."
• That Nick Carter head/logo is the smuggest, douchebaggiest look achievable by a human face.

Best things about this back cover:

• WHEN was it acceptable to break "assassination" between the first and second Ss???

Page 123~

from "Assassination Brigade":

He fired, and the bullet chipped off a piece of pavement about an inch away from me. By then, I had Wilhelmina in my own hand. The man only had the opportunity to snap off one more shot before I had steadied the barrel of my Luger and put a bullet in his belly.

In case you missed that — he named his Luger "Wilhelmina." God save me from ever finding out what that particular relationship is like.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

57 Books from the University Book Sale: Book 27

Title: Danger Woman
Author: Abel Mann
Cover artist: [Roger Kastel] Kastel? Kassel? Signature is super faint, and there's no credit

Yours for: $8

• Short-lived Wonder Woman nemesis of the Swingin' '60s
  
• This cover was painted in cheap lipstick
• Fabulous painting in the parts that have people. The rest is the kind of sloppiness-posing-as-avant-garde that I hate
• She is doing a bad job of hiding that gun
• "The Danger Woman" is a woefully unimaginative name

• "It" seems to have two antecedents. Or does "It" refer to the two prior statements. If so, then I am sure one of my students wrote this cover copy.
• Apparently The Danger Woman has a right-handed twin
• So ... she never said no to a job? Nope, no jokes to make there

Page 123~

"You think I should have a child."
Bertha wrung her hands. "Please."
"Don't you, Bertha?"
"Such a beautiful body — a young girl's body — unfulfilled," Bertha said.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]