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Showing posts with label New York Herald-Tribune. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New York Herald-Tribune. Show all posts

Friday, October 11, 2013

Paperback 708: Nightmare in Pink / John D. MacDonald (Gold Medal d1682)

Paperback 708: Gold Medal d1682 (3rd ptg, 1966)

Title: Nightmare in Pink
Author: John D. MacDonald
Cover artist: [Ron Lesser]

Yours for: $7 (yeah, I paid only $3, but ... inflation/postage — his books are being rereleased in $14 trade paperbacks ... why, WHY would you buy those when you can get beat-up '60s-era stuff, which is much cooler *and* much cheaper?)

GM1682

Best things about this cover:
  • Really hate the turn cover art took in the '60s—toward text/branding, away from full-page cover art—and I associate MacDonald's books most closely with that trend, to the extent that I almost blame MacDonald personally. Over the years, the girls get smaller, while the whole MacDonald/McGee Brand swells up and dominates. Probably smart marketing. But sucky from a purely aesthetic perspective. 
  • I do like the way Pink suffuses every corner of this thing.
  • Her hair is, frankly, terrible. 

GM1682bc-1

Best things about this back cover:
  • It's bad enough you've shrunk her and made her all modest on the front—this bland-and-white corner punishment is just degrading. Even John D's like "C'mon guys. Too far."
  • OK, I haven't read a sexier phrase than "sweetly wanton career girl, living alone in a Manhattan walk-up" in a Long time.
  • Not sure what is meant in this context by "Cafe Society," but I would like to join.
  • "And introducing ... LSD!"

Page 123~

Terry Drummond rapped at my door and I let her in. She wore fifteen thousand dollars worth of glossy fur coat. Her brown simian face wrinkled with distaste as she looked around. "God, what a scrimey hole!" The coat swung open.

This is the kind of passage that makes me wonder why I have not read more MacDonald than I have. Love it.

~RP

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Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Paperback 694: Stop This Man! / Peter Rabe (Gold Medal 763)

Paperback 694: Gold Medal 763 (2nd ptg, 1958)

Title: Stop This Man!
Author: Peter Rabe
Cover artist: Darcy

Yours for: $14

GM763

Best things about this cover:
  • A great, brutal cover marred only by the stupid slab of yellow Erskine at the top.
  • Love the unfinished quality of painting toward the bottom, the obvious dilapidation on the ceiling, the dynamic use of perspective, the framing of his left hand in the dead middle of the page, the believable fear on her face, the simple, understated, off-center title ... all fantastic.
  • Not sure what that shirt's made of though? Taffy?

GM763bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • OK, is it "could not put this book down," or, as the cover clearly states, "couldn't put this book down." I call bullshit.
  • I love (sarcastically) how this book basically belongs to Erskine Caldwell now. Sorry, Peter Rabe. I know it must be tough to get shown up on your own cover(s) by a 3-to-1 margin, but that's show business. Gotta move product.
  • The NYT review clearly has no appreciation for how much I like "the lurid modern crime thriller."

Page 123~

They put handcuffs on the Turtle and put him in a police car. Then they drove him downtown, to the office of the FBI. The Turtle didn't say anything during the long ride. He didn't think that funny talk would make any difference any more.

Aw, c'mon, The Turtle, you're not trying hard enough. Do your Nixon impression!

~RP

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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Paperback 646: People vs. Withers & Malone / Stuart Palmer & Craig Rice (Award Books A146F)

Paperback 646: Award Books A146F (1st ptg, 1965)

TitlePeople vs. Withers & Malone
Author: Craig Rice & Stuart Palmer
Cover artist: Uncredited / Clip art?

Yours for: $5

AwardA146F

Best things about this cover:
  • Craig Rice and Stuart Palmer document their early experiments with sexual role-playing games. "Wait, I forget, am I 'Withers' or 'Malone' in this scenario?" Speaking of role-playing, "Craig Rice" is male-sounding pseudonym for female author Georgiana Ann Craig. I own a nice copy of a book she ghost-wrote for actor George Sanders. (Here's a nice write-up about Rice at "Pulp Serenade")
  • Or maybe the parrot is 'Withers' and the cougar is 'Malone', in which case I am hoping for a break-out and then serious carnage. Malone can do the killing, while Withers provides narration. "[Squawk!], he's got your eyeball! Got your eyeball! [Squawk!]"
  • I hope the artist got paid the $0.75 he was owed for this "painting."
  • I keep looking at this book and seeing "An Insane Rectum Mystery."

AwardA146Fbc

Best things about this back cover:
  • God, paperback book design just went to $^#%ing hell in the mid-'60s. Not in all instances, but in many. See virtually every Travis McGee novel. So much potential, so much ugh.
  • I love that Artzybasheff is someone's name. Some *artist's* name.
  • I love that "Ellery Queen" (itself a pseudonym) refers to the mid-'60s as "these unfunny days." I can only guess what he means, but I love an author who believes his own time has gone to hell. Also, from a crime novel / crime movie perspective, the mid-60s were (with some very notable exceptions [cough] Parker [cough]) pretty dire.

Page 123~

"Blue sea!" cried Malone. "I told her her eyes were as blue as the sea! That was Luke Swenson's sister, Little Helga, a queen-size Viking goddess! I am in love with her, practically!"

"Practically!" So few people exclaim their hedge words! Nice.

~RP

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Sunday, May 19, 2013

Paperback 642: Experiment Perilous / Margaret Carpenter (Pocket Books 278)

Paperback 642: Pocket Books 278 (1st ptg, 1944)

Title: Experiment Perilous
Author: Margaret Carpenter
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $8

PB278

Best things about this cover:
  • "No. No, I don't approve of these young people at all. Decidedly not."
  • Seriously, this is one of the greatest photobombs of all time.
  • Experiment Perilous. Old Man Angry. Noun Adjective! Grrrr.


PB278bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • 4 cents!? It used to be 3!? I blame Obama.
  • Be sure to send the book to a boy, because of course girls can't read so what're they gonna do with it, origami?
  • Publishers still working out the kinks in their blurb presentation strategy. "How 'bout one big undifferentiated mass of quotes?" "Sounds good. Run with it!"

Page 123~
She cried as if her heart would break this afternoon, and confessed to me the most extraordinary thing: she is being followed by a man she has never seen before. This has been going on for three months, she said. Nick pooh-poohs the whole thing, and says every pretty girl learns how to manage that sort of thing in her teens. 
"I've stalked pretty girls my whole life," Nick added, "so believe me, I know."

~RP

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Sunday, March 24, 2013

Paperback 624: Men Working / John Faulkner (Bantam 1023)

Paperback 624: Bantam 1023 (1st ptg, 1952)

Title: Men Working
Author: John Faulkner
Cover artist: Harry Schaare

Yours for: $16

Bant1023

Best things about this cover:

  • After "The Wizard of Oz," Bert Lahr fell on hard times.
  • Apparently the word "Working" has undergone a major redefinition.
  • "You want my hat? 'Cause I ain't gots no use fer it no more. Here. You take it."
  • John Faulkner continues to plow his little corner of the fictional world—Slovenly Sexpots and the Yokels Who Gawk at Them.
  • Guess the ink was wet at some point. I'm never seen title-streaking like that before.
  • Best part about this cover: Yellow. And Red. Even in that shapeless dress, she explodes off the page.
  • "Blunt": "Frank"'s ugly cousin.


Bant1023bc

Best things about this back cover:

  • Oh yeah. Blunt Frankness! That's the stuff.
  • "We're under attack from critical applause. The last salvo hit Jerry. Jerry? You OK? JERRY!?"
  • In case you missed it the first time: blunt frankness. None of that round-about, elliptical, evasive frankness for John Faulkner. Nosiree.

Page 123~

"Good God," said the Board of Health again. Then, "Do you mind if we look at your toilet room?"

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Paperback 614: The Ordeal of Private Heath / Jeb Stuart (Pyramid 106)

Paperback 614: Pyramid Books 116 (1st ptg, 1953)

Title: The Ordeal of Private Heath
Author: Jeb Stuart
Cover artist: "Paul" (signature)

Yours for: $11

Pyr106

Best things about this cover:
  • "Your knees ... I can't hear anything ... I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING!!!"
  • Knee fetishism—truly "the gravest sin"!
  • He likes it when you rub his head and tickle his underarm.
  • I love her expression. "O, look at the spotlights. Why can't I be out at a movie premiere instead of stuck in this dank apartment grooming my shell-shocked boyfriend? I should've married that Bill Rivers when I had the chance."
  • I also love the way she is lit. Gives the painting the feeling of a religious tableau — from one of the sillier Bible stories, perhaps.

Pyr106bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • The front cover suggested it, the back cover suggests it more strongly, and a very quick perusal of contents of the book confirms it—"less than a man" = "queer."
  • How many years had gone by since the publication of "A Farewell to Arms" and how bad were the war novels in that period?
  • Interior blurb from James Michener. Also, the Binghamton Press. So, you know ... heavy hitters.
  • "If you dislike stark realism, this book is not for you"—actual warning printed opposite title page. Heart of Starkness!
  • The Louisville Courier-Journal says "Will be compared with The Naked and the Dead"; I'm guessing the publishers left off the "... and found wanting" part.

Page 123~
"You looked like a lion," she said.
"A lion," he said dryly, humorlessly. "A sad-looking lion indeed."
"An unhappy lion," she answered, getting up from the floor and seating herself beside him, touching his cheek, saying, "I will not ask questions."

A woman who knows her lions and stays out of your business. Sexy!

~RP

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Friday, February 8, 2013

Paperback 605: The Ambushers / Donald Hamilton (Gold Medal k1333)

Paperback 605: Gold Medal k1333 (PBO, 1963)

Title: The Ambushers
Author: Donald Hamilton
Cover artist: McD (?)

Yours for: $11

GM1333

Best things about this cover:
  • "Isn't my sniper boyfriend dreamy!?"
  • "So sorry, seƱor. The chupacabra, I think she got away."
  • What is this "pansy class" and how do I enroll? Sounds fun. Also, I would love to see Matt Helm call Mike Hammer a "pansy." 

GM1333bc-1

Best things about this back cover:
  • Murder—in the card catalogue!
  • How does one "play God to a beautiful, beat-up girl"? "OK, you be Job, and I'll go hide behind that bush and ..."
  • I do like to order my thrillers by the half-dozen.

Page 123~

In my terrible predicament I'd hardly be giving attention to stray blondes. I kept my eyes on the men.

I assume his "terrible predicament" is "being undercover at a gay bar." Or he has some unspeakable injury that makes arousal painful. Either way, don't worry, Matt. It gets better.

~RP

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Friday, January 11, 2013

Paperback 590: Morning, Winter, and Night / John Nairne Michaelson (Berkley Books G-166)

Paperback 590: Berkley Books G-166 (1st ptg, 1958)

Title: Morning, Winter, and Night
Author: John Nairne Michaelson
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $15

BerkG166

Best things about this cover:
  • Peter was never that good at vampiring. "Less sniffing, more biting," his mother always said. But Peter was different.
  • It's the story of two young lovers, trapped in a magical aging rain that grays your hair but good.
  • It's not just frank. It's absolutely frank. 24-karat frank. 99 44/00% pure frank. The frank standard.

BerkG166bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • Correction: *utterly* frank. We apologize for any confusion our front cover copy may have caused.
  • Just to be clear: great frankness. OK? OK.
  • This sounds like one long story of fumbling with straps and premature ejaculation.


Page 123~

"She'll get well now, I think. It's been a near thing."
"I'll get the milk pails."

I'm just gonna leave that there.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Friday, October 26, 2012

Paperback 575: Murderers' Row / Donald Hamilton (Gold Medal k1391)

Paperback 575: Gold Medal k1391 (2nd ptg, 1964)

Title: Murderers' Row
Author: Donald Hamilton
Cover artist: McD... (not sure, Emmett McDowell? John McDermott?)

Yours for: $15
GM1391.MurdRow
Best things about this cover:
  • This is pretty emblematic of what generally happens to paperback covers over the course of the '60s—the truly great cover art cedes ground to branding devices (detective name, detective icon, author's name). Here, the poor lady is literally being squeezed out of frame by the floating orange crate stamp of a title. How is a girl supposed to enjoy her braless marsh-wading under such conditions!?
  • Is she washing the dog poop off her other shoe?
  • I like her purse. It's sparkly.
  • This book is in perfect condition. Totally unread.

GM1391bc.MurdRow
Best things about this back cover:
  • I love the idea of U.S. intelligence being stored on 3x5 cards like it's some 5th-grader's book report.
  • Donald Hamilton is ... my 11th-grade chemistry teacher!
  • "Code Name: Eric" = least sexy movie title ever.

Page 123~

"Straight ahead. Not in there, that's the head—bathroom to you."

Business idea—start prefab shipboard bathroom business. Call it "Bathroom 2 U."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Friday, September 21, 2012

Paperback 564: Cat Man / Edward Hoagland (Signet S1499)

Paperback 564: Signet S1499 (1st ptg, 1958)

Title: Cat Man
Author: Edward Hoagland
Cover artist: Stanley Zuckerberg

Yours for: $12
Sig1499.CatMan
Best things about this cover:
  • Yes, your ass *is* impressive, ma'am, but Zombie Bowser wants brains.
  • If I knew what she was doing, I would tell you.
  • What is that magic cloud of pastel soup that Bowser's wallowing around in? I'm torn between 'really shitty futon cover from ca. 1994' and 'Smurf latrine.'
  • "He courted danger in a jungle world"—ohhhhh. That's what I'm looking at. Courtship. "Geena, I'm down on all my paws, beggin' you—won't you be my jaguar-bride?"

Sig1499bc.CatMan
Best things about this back cover:
  • "Random Words" = equally scintillating alternative to "Big Top"; unless there are gay implications I'm missing, which I really hope there are.
  • Where have all the cagehands gone?
  • I like how "winos" are so-called, while freaks are just fucking freaks—no quotation marks needed. We all know freaks when we see them, amiright? Pfft. Freaks.
  • "Rejected by respectable society"!? I've seen the cover. I'm with respectable society here.

Page 123~
Bible licked his mustache and brooded [1]. The man in black smiled, thinking about something [2]. His face was lumpy and gentle [3]. The buttons on his shirt were gray instead of black, and he was playing with them. His belt buckle reflected silver like anybody else's belt buckle [4].
  • [1] Some people give their kids names from the Bible. And then some just say 'fuck it, I can't keep them bible names straight. Let's just call him Bible.'
  • [2] I like the second half of this sentence for answering the tough questions I had about the first half of this sentence.
  • [3] "... like oatmeal, when it's thinking about something"
  • [4] Foreshadowing the black-hole belt buckle that kills everyone at the end. (spoiler alert)

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Friday, September 7, 2012

Paperback 557: The Eight of Swords / John Dickson Carr (Berkley G-48)

Paperback 557: Berkley G-48 (1st ptg, 1957)

Title: The Eight of Swords
Author: John Dickson Carr
Cover artist: Robert Maguire

Yours for: $9

BerkG48.8Swords
Best things about this cover:
  • First things first: that dress is Hot. 
  • Apparently he did *not* mean "Eight of Spades" and did *not* appreciate being interrupted. 
  • The perspective here is weird, creepy, and visually arresting. I like this cover despite its being one of the more aggressive examples of the weapon-to-crotch motif. 
  • Maybe he's just tickling her. Or maybe she's not real and we're witnessing some strange sword-painting technique. 
  • Maguire is my favorite cover artist of all time. I love how he didn't even bother finishing this painting. "Uh, Mr. Maguire, sir, were you going to finish this painting, or ..." "YOU DON'T TELL BOB MAGUIRE WHEN HIS PAINTINGS ARE FINISHED. BOB MAGUIRE TELLS YOU!"

BerkG48bc.8Swords

Best things about this back cover:
  • The N.Y. Herald Tribune makes Mr. Carr sound like a mystery rapist.
  • I like Dr. Gideon Fell because his name is a complete sentence.
  • Strangely, the thing I like best about this cover is the font on the publisher's address.

Page 123~

Spinelli's lip lifted in a sardonic quirk. He sniggered. "Hey, are you a dick?" he asked.

If you like sardonic sniggering, this is your book.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Friday, June 15, 2012

Paperback 538: Nightmare Alley / William Lindsay Gresham (Signet 1326)

Paperback 538: Signet 1326 (4th ptg, 1956)

Title: Nightmare Alley
Author: William Lindsay Gresham
Cover artist: James Avati

Yours for: $21



Sig1326.NightAlley
Best things about this cover:

  • A noir classic. Early editions (Signets, like this one) are pretty rare. New York Review of Books reissued this book a couple years ago.
  • "Nightmare Alley, or The Carny's Ennui"
  • "I'm so ashamed that Eddie Munster has to see me in this get-up."
  • Not just "frank"—"Brutally Frank!" This book is so frank, it hurts my eyeballs.
  • No lie, I love her outfit. Pants could be a little lower-waisted, but the bra is a total win.




Sig1326bc.NightAlley

Best things about this back cover:

Ooh, the rarely seen "Double Frank" paperback. Nice. Whoa, triple ... though that SF Chronicle quote is really just a callback of the front cover copy.

William Lindsay Gresham is not happy with how this photo session is going.
"Magician."


Page 123~

Under that brilliant stare she began to simper and found it difficult to control her hands.

This explains why she's looking away from him and anchoring her hands on the edge of the, let's say, dunk tank.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Paperback 482: Sam / Lonnie Coleman (Pyramid G479)

Paperback 482: Pyramid G479 (1st ptg, 1960)

Title: Sam
Author: Lonnie Coleman
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $35


Sam.Gay

Best things about this cover:
  • "Frank"! "Twilight world"! I do love my vintage paperback buzzwords.
  • The giant "S" stands for "Super Sexy"
  • Wow, Sam looks like he's really into ... Sam.
  • QueerSam is about the most fabulous thing I've seen on a vintage paperback cover. His languid pose, his unbuttoned / flip-collared shirt, his hairless chest, his tight-as-hell red pants ... the way he is coming on to his buttondowned self, the way that he lives inside a tear in the space/time continuum ... all amazing.
  • The New York Herald Tribune is testing out its Review-Bot 3000, now with patented "hyper-adjective mode"


SamBC.Gay
Best things about this back cover:
  • Unashamed homosexual!
  • "Normal," HA ha.
  • Oh, the gays and their "furtive wanderings" and inevitable chiropractic "adjustments"

Page 123~

His maleness had been stated; her susceptibility was understood by both of them.

"This is my maleness ... alright, let's do this!"

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Paperback 337: Depart This Life / E. X. Ferrars (Popular Library SP275)

Paperback 337: Popular Library SP275 (1st ptg, 1964)

Title: Depart This Life
Author: E. X. Ferrars
Cover artist: some guy whose girlfriend/model was Seriously tripping

Yours for: $7

BERJAYA
Best things about this cover:
  • If I were being attacked by miniature crows that explode into fireballs upon impact, I'm pretty sure I'd be making that face too.
  • It's as if she's gazing in disbelief at the title: "'Who would name a book something so stupid?' she asked, as miniature crows continued to dive-bomb her face and torso..."

BERJAYA
Best things about this back cover:
  • Oh right, this guy—world's worst logo. Is the artist literally trying to spell out "CRIME" with this "guy's" body parts?
  • "Master of well-mannered terror" = "master of polite violence" or "prudish hot chicks," i.e. what?
  • If your book has a character named Hilda Gazeley, there is a 90% chance you are thinking too hard about your character names.

Page 123~

She paused to draw a rasping breath. She was in a state of terror.

Did you seriously just tell me that "She was in a state of terror?" How sucky are you as a writer that you cannot convey this to me through her speech, actions, etc.? Just reading this page is a reminder why I don't read "well-mannered" anything. It's all characters talking in preposterous exposition.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Friday, February 12, 2010

57 Books from the University Book Sale: Book 47


Title
: Reno Rendezvous (Popular 60-2119, 1st ptg, 1967)
Author: Leslie Ford (last one, I swear)
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $7

BERJAYA
  • Kinky.
  • I like how the accidental abrasions on her mouth make her look like a vampire.
  • "Thinking about divorce? ... Think Again!" — that should have been the tagline.
  • From the neck (*just* below the rope) down, this woman is hot.
  • I wish this artist got credit. I'd like to know the name behind this painter with a predilection for neck-snapping. I'll just call him "Snappy." See also...

BERJAYA

And the back of "Reno Rendezvous" ...

BERJAYA
  • "A flying visit to Reno.." — why does that phrasing sound off?
  • I wouldn't worry about the "shadow of a noose." I'd worry about the actual noose. That one. There. Around your neck.

Page 123~

She raised her eyes to his, round and blue as delft saucers.

Not so much sexy as comically cartoonish. "You remind me of this anime I saw once..."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Monday, February 8, 2010

57 Books from the University Book Sale: Book 45


Title
: The Philadelphia Murder Story (Popular Library SP408, 1960)
Author: Leslie Ford (redefining the word "prolific")
Cover artist: uncredited. Criminally uncredited.

Yours for: $7

BERJAYA
  • This guy better be a zombie or involved in some kind of performance art because there is no way I'm buying the guy died that way, with his (ghastly) hand lightly fondling a lily pad.
  • The hand-flower-face triad is just genius. Absurd, horrific genius. It does not, however, scream "Philadelphia" to me.
  • "OK, we got some ideas for the title of your new book. You remember that famous movie, 'The Philadelphia Story?' Yeah, Jimmy Stewart, Katharine Hepburn, right. So we were thinking: 'The Philadelphia ... MURDER ... Story.' Huh? Huh? Whaddya think? Catchy, right? P.S. the cover will feature the undead playing hide-and-seek."
BERJAYA
  • Talk about giving up — they've not only replicated the front cover painting, but the *front cover blurb* as well.
  • Again ... you're saying one thing and I'm seeing another. Didn't see Philadelphia ... not seeing this "web" thing you speak of either.

Page 123~

The people at the Post all had them on their desks for paper weights.


I'm just gonna let that hang there. You can decide for yourself what "them" are.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Saturday, February 6, 2010

57 Books from the University Book Sale: Book 43

Sorry for the lag between new books ... stupid job with its stupid starting up again ...

Title: Ill Met By Moonlight
Author: Leslie Ford
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $6

BERJAYA
  • Ill Met by Moths!
  • Love *everything* about this picture, from the sickly green tint, to the lady's expression (looking at me for help! Sorry lady, you're on your own!), to that hand — remarkably still, creepily calm for being attached to someone who just unleashed serious moth fury.
  • Is this how our "lovely vixen" (uh, a stretch) toys with (one too many) men? "Here, this way, just come into my boudoir ... I know it's dark, just wait, let me get the light and BOOM! Moths moths moths! Ha ha ha, you should see the look on your face... you still wanna do it?"

BERJAYA
  • Wait, is this the same "she?" Because it's going to be hard for her to be "found dead" *and* to be toying with men. Unless ... she comes back from the dead as a specter doomed to haunt her former lovers with an unshakable retinue of moths ... yes, that sounds good.

Page 123~

"However, we may be a bit forrarder."


forrarder, adv. chiefly British : further ahead

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Saturday, November 28, 2009

57 Books from the University Book Sale: Book 21

Title: Too Late the Phalarope (Signet S1290, 1956)
Author: Alan Paton
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: Whatever

BERJAYA
  • The "phalarope" is a wading bird, and not, as it sounds, a rope made out of penis.
  • The background of this cover is an abstract horror show. Total fail.
BERJAYA
  • Well, N.Y. Herald Tribune, you were half right.
  • Publishing imperative: do not, under any circumstances, mention "race" on the cover. "Instead of 'white,' why not try 'most respected'? And for 'black,' consider some version of 'forbidden.'"

Page 123~

And he would not eat in the sun, but in the house; and he would not eat at all, but drank many cups of coffee, and smoked the cigarettes. And again he said, what's the talk amongst the black people, Johannes? But the boy could tell him nothing of account.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Paperback 301: Behind Every Door / Julius Horowitz (Belmont L522)

Paperback 301: Belmont L522 (1st ptg, 1961)

Title: Behind Every Door
Author: Julius Horowitz
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $12

BERJAYA
Best things about this cover:

  • Wow, the cover painting looks cool. If they'd bother to make it bigger than a !@#$ing postage stamp, maybe I could appreciate it a little more.
  • "Hey, baby, we're two tall, thin, cool people standing in the middle of the street ... the world is our oyster! What say we ..." / "I said 'twenty dollars,' mister"
  • Remade 11 years later as "Behind the Green Door"
  • Really, you're going to asterisk "The Way Between the Sexes" as something the N.Y. Times said. That's not a blurb, that's an arbitrary phrase capture.
BERJAYA
Best things about this back cover:

  • What's that title again? I forgot.
  • "Guys who want to buy your pants ..." — I did not see that coming.
  • "The real test is when you come up against your problem." — Words to live by, if your goal is to live as vaguely as possible.

Page 123~

He saw that these kids, the oldest of them only ten, had a vocabulary of definite opinions and many of their inculcated ideas were quite opposed to his own.


Two things — one, this is a very odd, very creepy thought for a grown man to have about children; and two, I can tell from this one sentence that this guy is a terrible, terrible writer. The phrases "vocabulary of definite opinions" and "their inculcated ideas" make me wince. Editor!

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Paperback 257: Pirate Wench / Frank Shay (Pyramid Giant G75)

Paperback 257: Pyramid Giant G75 (1st ptg, 1953)

Title: Pirate Wench
Author: Frank Shay
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: SOLD (July '09)

BERJAYA
Best things about this cover:

  • Catherine Zeta-Jones stars in ... "Braless Zombie II: Zombie's Revenge"
  • As I scanned this image, the Violent Femmes "Prove My Love" was playing on iTunes. It contains the lyric, "... we've all been through some shit." In the case of Pirate Wench, this appears to be literally true. Who draws their braless heroine with brown stink lines emanating from her body?
  • "Outlove?!" "Outfuck" really works better here. It's more alliterative. And, I'm guessing, more accurate.
  • Shirtless man: "I have a gun ... and yet I am powerless to resist her magical pirate dance."
  • Shirtless man: "I wonder where I can get a shirt like that ... I'm tired of the crew teasing me about how manly and ungay I look"
BERJAYA
Best things about this back cover:

  • If you like your sex "raw" and "blood-stained," you'll love "Pirate Wench!"
  • " ... a night below deck": That is one, tough, tiring way to "win men's allegiance." How is one woman supposed to put a whole crew together. No wonder this book is "raw" and "blood-stained."
  • She's pro-vocative. Screw you, ablative!

Page 123~

There were nine pirates captured and there were nine gibbets; no one about to go on trial would be found not guilty.


"No one ... would be found not guilty." Is that litotes? (Def: A figure of speech consisting of an understatement in which an affirmative is expressed by negating its opposite, as in This is no small problem.) Pretty fucking uppity for pirate smut.

~RP

P.S. A Portuguese reader (yes, I have one) sent me a link to the following book cover: a Portuguese version of Gil Brewer's "Wild to Possess" (you can see part of the American cover in my header, between "Pop" and "Sensation" ... the redhead w/ the gun). Very cool to see pulpy covers redone for foreign markets.

BERJAYA