Paperback 718: The Assistant / Bernard Malamud (Signet 1514)

Paperback 718: Signet S1514 (1st, 1958)

Title: The Assistant
Author: Bernard Malamud
Cover artist: "Hofmann"

Yours for: $14


Best things about this cover:

• "Baby, you put the 'ass' is 'assistant.'"
• Are they giants? If that is a street sign he's gripping/pulling out of the ground, the answer must be 'yes.'
• I love her outfit, particularly her shoes, though they seem to have been painted in as an afterthought.
• Art here is really unusual—far more impressionistic/smeary than you usually see on '50s covers. Another thing you rarely see—that color of sky. Inland Empire Brown.

Best things about this back cover:

• Gah! Buncha text. Don't care.

Page 123~

Morris, with clouded eyes, died slowly.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 574: The Innocent Mrs. Duff and The Virgin Huntress / Elisabeth Sanxay Holding (Ace Double G-509)

Paperback 574: Ace Double G-509 (1st thus / 1st thus, 1963)

Title: The Innocent Mrs. Duff / The Virgin Huntress
Author: Elisabeth Sanxay Holding
Cover artist: Uncredited / Uncredited

Yours for: $11


Best things about this cover:

• Singularly ugly. The only thing I can really get behind here is her hair, cutting its epic, destructive path across the lower Great Lakes.
• Cat: "Meow, why am I in this picture. Meow."
• Why has the lady incompletely painted her face like the Italian flag?
• That insane Puritan-looking doll is one of the creepiest things I've ever seen on a cover. At least I  hope that's a doll. . .
• Somewhere, a magician mourns his exclusion from this painting.

Best things about this other cover:

• More phenomenal, outsized hair. Also, she appears to be mowing the lawn with her chin.
• She reminds me of Kim Novak in "Vertigo," only with a disembodied head and scary psychokinetic powers.
• Seriously, the cover painting C-team must've got this book assignment. Blocky, ugly, head-y. Junk.

Page 123~

He was choking; he could not draw any air into his lungs. His neck swelled; there was a frightful pressure in the back of his head. O God ... This is it ...

Holding bravely tackles the issue of auto-erotic asphyxiation. Way ahead of her time.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 571: Speak of the Devil and Kill Joy / Elisabeth Sanxay Holding (Ace Double G-534)

Paperback 571: Ace Double G-534 (1st ptg / 1st ptg, 1963ish)

Title: Speak of the Devil / Kill Joy
Author: Elisabeth Sanxay Holding
Cover artist: Rudolph Nappi / Uncredited

Yours for: $11

Best things about this cover:

• The Devil Wore Burberry!
• You'd look that way too if you'd just watched Fozzie Bear explode.
• Woodsfolk have the strangest mating rituals. Here we see the stiff-legged mirroring dance...
• Fear-hands aplenty!
• That pitchforky, two-pronged "I" is fantastic.

Best things about this other cover:

• Sure, Joy's a total bitch, but there's no need to get violent.
• This highly fragmented cover is indeed killing my joy.
• This cover tells me nothing about the book and there's no boobs so fail.

Page 123~

"For the love of God—" Miss Peterson began in Swedish.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 551: God's Little Acre / Erskine Caldwell (Great Pan G148)

Paperback 551: Great Pan G148 (1st thus, 1958)

Title: God's Little Acre
Author: Erskine Caldwell
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $23
Best things about this cover:

• The Professor and Ginger never did see eye to eye.
• It's like they're having a clenchedmouth-off and she's winning—though it looks like the judge in the background there is about to call "illegal use of boobs." We'll see...
• Zeke likes to watch.
• I think she was overcome by Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" and had to be shaken out of her rockin' reverie before she tore up all the hay bales.
• Zeke, on the other hand, is immune to Bon Jovi's charms.
• Movie tie-in! 

Best things about this back cover:

• Wow, they sure picked a dramatic scene for this back cover. And by "dramatic" I mean "one that showcases Tina Louise's tits to the fullest."
• Chivalry isn't dead, it's just horribly, horribly mutated.
• "Gusty vitality"??? Did they mean "gutsy"? Did they conflate "gutsy" and "gusto." "You know, the vitality of his writing ... it's got a ... windlike quality to it ..."

Page 123~

Ty Ty put one foot inside the room and leaned against the door-frame. He watched her roll and unroll her stockings and hang them over the back of the chair. She got up quickly and stood at the foot of the bed.

I *knew* creepy, overt, unwelcome voyeurism was going to figure prominently in this book. The cover artist did his job well.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 538: Nightmare Alley / William Lindsay Gresham (Signet 1326)

Paperback 538: Signet 1326 (4th ptg, 1956)

Title: Nightmare Alley
Author: William Lindsay Gresham
Cover artist: James Avati

Yours for: $21



Best things about this cover:

• A noir classic. Early editions (Signets, like this one) are pretty rare. New York Review of Books reissued this book a couple years ago.
• "Nightmare Alley, or The Carny's Ennui"
• "I'm so ashamed that Eddie Munster has to see me in this get-up."
• Not just "frank"—"Brutally Frank!" This book is so frank, it hurts my eyeballs.
• No lie, I love her outfit. Pants could be a little lower-waisted, but the bra is a total win.

Best things about this back cover:

Ooh, the rarely seen "Double Frank" paperback. Nice. Whoa, triple ... though that SF Chronicle quote is really just a callback of the front cover copy.

William Lindsay Gresham is not happy with how this photo session is going.

"Magician."

Page 123~

Under that brilliant stare she began to simper and found it difficult to control her hands.

This explains why she's looking away from him and anchoring her hands on the edge of the, let's say, dunk tank.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 448: Takeoff / C.M. Kornbluth (Pennant P15)

Paperback 448: Pennant Books P15 (1st ptg, 1953)

Title: Takeoff
Author: C.M. Kornbluth
Cover artist: Charles Binger

Yours for: Not For Sale — special donation to the collection from Michael and Sue Handley


Best things about this cover:

• "Bomber jackets half-price at Macy's!? But I paid full price last weekend! Bastards! Vengeance will be mine!"
• That's quite the phallic object.
• I just found out that it pays to check my campus mailbox every once in a while—I just found this book waiting for me (it had been waiting for nearly 2 months) with the following note attached:

Supercool notepad.

And now the back cover:


Best things about this back cover:

• Ugh, just a bunch of blurbs, though now I know where my benefactors got their purple prose from.

Page 123~

Suddenly his voice blazed with passion and the words came like a torrent. "What was I to do? Go ahead and do it the wrong way? [...]"

This selection would be much more evocative and engaging if this were a sex novel.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

57 Books from the University Book Sale: Book 4

Title: Stairway to an Empty Room (Popular Library, undated — early/mid-60s)

Author: Dolores Hitchens

Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: best offer

• Oh, snap!
• Stairway to a massive car interior
• His left hand is Disgusting — like the claw of some mythical, horrifying sea creature
• "They said 'just lift the neck' ... why ain't there no candy comin' out! What good's a life-sized Pez dispenser if it don't put out!?"
• Dolores Hitchens is actually a pretty good writer

• One-armed, bow-legged spy with wide, rectangular wang = interesting logo choice
• "Expertly tautened!" — next time I see a pair of high, firm breasts, I'll know what to say

Page 123~

Biddy's fingers writhed inside Monica's. The hot eyes were frightened and unsure. "You let me alone. You get out of here."

If only that first sentence read "Biddy's fingers writhed inside Monica" — I might be inclined to read it.

~RP

Paperback 214: Black Mail / Did She Fall Or Was She Pushed? - Doris Miles Disney (Ace G-506)

Paperback 214: Ace G-506 (1st ptg / 1st ptg, 1963)

Title: Black Mail / Did She Fall Or Was She Pushed?
Author: Doris Miles Disney
Cover artist: uncredited / uncredited

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• I believe the mail now prefers to be called "Negro"
• Sexy librarian look is basically ruined by the straitjacket
• "I got rejected from Haverford?! But that was my safety school! Noooo!"
• Awesome psionic powers - that horn-rimmed lady is packing the double whammy: Swirling Disorientation Vortex and Orange Implaing Lance of Death
• "Authentic background," HA ha. "The sky and fields look so real..."

Best things about this cover:

• That guy wins the award for Most Oddly Proportioned Detective. His feet are gigantic. And hazy.
• Experimental art - sometimes good, sometimes bad. Here ... thumbs down. No action? Is it cold or just desolate? What in the hell is on her head? Her vacant look does nothing for me. I'll take the freaked-out letter reader and even the freaky four-eyes on the flip side of this book over this lavender-hooded nobody.
• That title is laughably bad. The whole book should be just one word long: "Pushed."

Page 123~

Monday had figured so consistently in the pattern that this was the day on which he expected the watch to bear fruit.

That is, by far, the most exciting sentence on the page. Reading her prose is like watching paint dry. Beige paint.

~RP

P.S. where are my snarky, enthusiastic commenters? I've actually lost two "Followers" in the past week? Boo hoo. I know I have been *slightly* behind on my postings, but come on - help me out here a little. Give me a push. A little momentum. Somethin'. Thx.