Paperback 946: The Book of Paradox / Louise Cooper (Dell 3343)

Paperback 946: Dell 3343 (1st ptg, 1975)

Title: The Book of Paradox
Author: Louise Cooper
Cover artist: Frank Frazetta

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $8-12

[Latest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• The Oracle foretold the coming of the one they call ... Glutemaster!
• Man vs. Angel in the World Pose-Off of Love
• No one did Subterranean Mystical Catacomb Beefcake like Frazetta.

Best things about this back cover:

• "and now" is the biggest LOL line on this whole cover
• LORD OF THE RINGS (... which is absolutely *nothing* like) LORD OF THE FLIES ... and now! ... LORD OF THE DANCE! Nope, sorry, misspoke. It's BOOK OF PARADOX! Feel the fantasy!
• That's an astonishing array of words considering none of it means anything.

Page 123~

Varka shrugged. "Make of it what you will—but I am going to Limbo."

I believe this is the fantasy paperback equivalent of "Screw you guys, I'm going home."

~RP

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Paperback 935: The Darkness and the Dawn / Thomas B. Costain (Perma Books M5029)

Paperback 935: Perma Book M5029 (1st ptg, 1960)

Title: The Darkness and the Dawn
Author: Thomas B. Costain
Cover artist: Uncredited :(

Estimated value: $4-6

[Part of the Laura R. Braunstein Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• The correct answer is, "No, those Uggs do not make your thighs look fat, Mr. The Hun."
• I love how he has time for a mid-battle photo shoot. "I *am* smiling, you toad! Don't make me unsheath this!"
• If you're gonna dip your foot in the waters of Attila the Hun novels, you're gonna want to go with something from the "superlative" category.
• Thomas B. Costain turned out a bunch of mid-century historicals. His first novel was published at age 57!

Best things about this back cover:

• I don't think this back cover exactly nailed the landing, compass-metaphor-wise.
• I want a t-shirt that reads, simply, "HIGH COMPETENCE."
• I feel like there are a lot of ellipses here, and that there may be more to the Thomas Costain iceberg than this cover is allowing us to see.

Page 123~

Nicolan was taller than most of the other slaves and so was stationed in the rear rank, holding one of the cushions on which reposed a vial of true nard, a most aromatic perfume.

Please let loose the phrase "a vial of true nard" upon the land. Thank you.

~RP

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Paperback 927: Ashenden / W. Somerset Maugham (Avon PN240)

Paperback 927: Avon PN240 (13th ptg, 1969)

Title: Ashenden
Author: W. Somerset Maugham
Cover artist: Uncredited (who does these awesome psychedelic late '60s Avon covers!?)

Estimated value: $15 (bit scuffed, but very tight, square, barely if ever read)

Best things about this cover:

• This is like "Being There" meets "Laugh-In" meets "Planes Trains and Automobiles" meets "Monty Python" meets "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor MURDER Coat"!
• This cover is Milton Glaser-esque.
• Purple? The spy wore ... purple? Really?

Best things about this back cover:

• It's like a dream catcher ... for breaths.
• There's a lot of "Cold" here. Nothing about the color scheme says "Cold." Earth tones never say "Cold."
• I prefer my dens ruddy.

Page 123~

R. was a soldier and regarded introspection as unhealthy, unEnglish and unpatriotic.

Great sentence, but one that cries out especially hard for an Oxford comma.

~RP

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Paperback 913: One More Unfortunate / Edgar Lustgarten (Bantam 360)

Paperback 913: Bantam 360 (1st ptg, 1949)

Title: One More Unfortunate
Author: Edgar Lustgarten
Cover artist: Bernard Safran

Estimated value: $15-20

Best things about this cover:

• "I was Mr. Arm Veins 1938, 1939, and 1941. Don't ask about 1940. Here, drink this."
• "First, let me show you this here invention I come up with. I call it, 'The Butt Scratcher'...."
• Wow, when he rolls up his sleeves, he really Rolls Up His Sleeves.
• That knife-arm, everything about it, is really striking. And yet I'm weirdly mesmerized by the torn wallpaper patch (authentic seediness!) and her shoes, which I really wish I could see in profile. And closer up.

Best things about this back cover:

• Young Ronald Reagan was not allowed to ride the children's choo-choo train. Would / he / die?!
• I love how the issue here isn't the horrific fate of Kate Haggerty, but how her horrific fate might reflect on Captain White Man.
• Damn evidence. Always with the mounting.

Page 123~

He gave his answer in loud, almost truculent tones.

Ooh, I like that. I think I'm gonna steal it. "Almost Truculent: The Rex Parker Story"

~RP

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Paperback 825: The Radio Planet / Ralph Milne Farley (Ace F-312)

Paperback 825: Ace F-312 (PBO, 1964)

Title: The Radio Planet
Author: Ralph Milne Farley [Roger Sherman Hoar]
Cover artist: John Schoenherr

Yours for: $8


Best things about this cover:

• Flash Gordon cosplay just got Real.
• Myles Cabot: Ant Barber!
• Are those ants? Beetles? Entomologists—little help?
• Yeah, get that "Milne" name in there. Someone might take a chance.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Radio transmission of matter"—is that like a 3D printer!?
• First paragraph is about as dull as one can make a (return!) trip to Venus sound.
• "Untapped resources." Nice fudge.
• "But Myles Cabot didn't know the meaning of the word impossible—or "dearth," or "fecundity," or "peripatetic," or "spatula," or a host of other words. But he could build an electronic device from raw rocks and untapped resources, so suck on that, fancy word knowledge people!"

Page 123~

"For Builder's sake, man!" Cabot cut in. This is not time to quibble over words! Give us the plane, if you would save Theoph, yourself, and Arkilu."

Man, Myles Cabot really does have a thing against words. And he worships Bob the Builder. What a character!

~RP

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Paperback 808: The Golden Blade / John Clou (Graphic Giant G209)

Paperback 808: Graphic Giant G209 (1st ptg, 1955)

Title: The Golden Blade
Author: John Clou
Cover artist: Robert Maguire

Yours for: $12

Best things about this cover:

Ron Weasley fantasizes about gutting that lousy scar-faced pretty boy.
Easily the best painting you'll ever see of a shirtless caped redhead admiring his primary phallic symbol. (Secondary phallic symbol safely sheathed on right hip)
I am not a fan of these big dumb historical romance montages, but if you gotta do it, yeah, go with Robert Maguire. Grace and beauty of his painting will soften the overwhelming cheese of the subject matter.
Everything about that woman is improbable. Actually, I would change that to "probable" if you just moved her indoors. There's no way she's that artfully, nakedly posed out there in the dirt of the battlefield.


Best things about this back cover:

• Everybody dance now.
• "Enough with the hip-shaking. Fill my goblet and then polish my sex boots, woman!"
• I like the blue-skirted lady, or, as I call her, The Mead Whisperer.

Page 123~

The day after Cholan's party arrived at the cave. Juji went hunting. He was pleased that Gesikie offered to accompany him, for he wanted an audience to acclaim his skill with the bow.

This page also features Jhotuz, Kisil, and Temujine, in case you're interested.

~RP

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Paperback 804: The Grass is Singing / Doris Lessing (Bantam 1045)

Paperback 804: Bantam 1045 (1st ptg, 1952)

Title: The Grass Is Singing
Author: Doris Lessing
Cover artist: Fletcher Martin

Yours for: $15


Best things about this cover:

• OK, there are several remarkable things about this cover, but I'm somehow most struck by the "Painted by" credit! Attribution! Credit! So useful! Why aren't all paperback covers like this!?
• If you want an iconic picture for "The White Gaze," Here You Go!
• Doris Lessing won the Nobel Prize in Literature, so I assume the writing quality here is a grade or two above "Mandingo."

Best things about this back cover:

• "Mounting tensions" WINK WINK
• "The one sin no white woman in Africa dares" … based on the cover, I'm betting on "Sloth."
• Technically "Brave New World" had already come, twenty years earlier. Still, I love how excited this book is.

Page 123~

Then followed a time of dull misery: not the sharp bouts of unhappiness that were what had attacked her earlier. Now she felt as if she were going soft inside at the core, as if a soft rottenness was attacking her bones.

The horrible days before Boniva.

~RP

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Paperback 793: The Roman Way / Edith Hamilton (Mentor Books MD213)

Paperback 793: Mentor Books MD213 (1st ptg, 1957)

Title: The Roman Way
Author: Edith Hamilton
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• Not sure why I own this. I mean, it has none of the sexual promise of "The Greek Way."
• Apparently ancient Rome was populated predominantly by very boring zombies who loved statuary.
• Seriously, this looks like a very badly programmed MMOG.

Best things about this back cover:

• The thing I admire most about the ancient world is all their stars were so big they only needed one name, like Cher or Beyoncé.
• What a bewitching, haunting, slightly frightening author photo.
• "… who on her ninetieth birthday was made an honorary citizen of Athens." Sadly, she did not survive the notoriously brutal "jump in" ritual.

Page 123~

Virgil sees no reason why cattle disease is not a subject for a poet.

~RP

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Paperback 770: The Man Who Japed / Philip K. Dick // The Space-Born / E. C. Tubb (Ace D-193)

Paperback 770: Ace D-193 (1st ptg / 1st ptg, 1956)

Title: The Man Who Japed / The Space-Born
Author: Philip K. Dick / E. C. Tubb
Cover artist: Ed Emshwiller / Ed Valigursky

Yours for: $25


Best things about this cover:

• Jackie gonna be *a* severed-headball sta-ar!
• When college pranks go awry. "We said 'japery,' Jackie. 'Japery.' You call beheading the dean 'japery'!?"
• The best, and I mean the Very Best, part of this cover is the teeny arm waving goodbye / pleading for help from beneath the jagged stick pile.

Best things about this other cover:

• Death was their pilot, fear their fuel, underground hot-oil wrestling their passion!
• Hey, you've got to hide your love away! (from the flying pestle-wielding space golems)
• "Halt! Halt! Freddie Mercury wants his boots back! Remove the boots at once or face extreme golem-pestle interrogation enhancement!"

Page 123~ (from The Space-Born)

He stared at the knives in the hands of the searchers.

"Wait … those aren't knives," Tom whispered to Jerry. "Those are just pestles. I say we run for it!"

~RP

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Paperbacks 701 and 702: Raison Funebre / Georges Vidal // Quand Passe Calone... / Alain Page (Editions Fleuve Noir 313 / 363)

Paperback 701: Editions Fleuve Noir 313 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Raison Funèbre
Author: Georges Vidal
Cover artist: "M. Fournay" (I think)

Yours for: $12


Best things about this cover:

• "I vill prove zat zay are inflatable!"
• Dagger wielded by killer, or laser pointer wielded by Anatomy professor?
• She has one hell of a tan.
• You'd think they'd make the whole torn dress/bondage thing less subtle.

Paperback 702: Editions Fleuve Noir 363 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Quand Passe Calone ...
Author: Alain Page
Cover artist: "M. Fournay" (I think)

Yours for: $16


Best things about this cover:

• Teenager really must borrow the car. She insists.
• Being and Nothingness and Murder.
• Seriously, this is like a Sartre play. "Shoot. Don't shoot. What does it matter?"

Best things about this back cover (same for both books):

• This manages to be both generic and dynamic.
• I want to be a "Gentleman Justicier." Sounds elegant.
• Is "Anticipation" what the French called "scifi?" "La Réalité de Demain" ("The Reality of Tomorrow") suggests yes, but I'd be surprised if they hadn't co-opted the term "sci-fi" by now (see "pin-up," above)

Page 123~ (from Quand Passe Calone...)

"Jolie fille, hein? Il ne faudrait pas grand-chose pour en faire une pin-up occidentale."
"Je n'aime pas les pin-up, je la préfère telle quelle est..."
["Pretty girl, eh? It wouldn't take much to turn this photo into a western-style pin-up"
"I don't like pin-ups. I prefer her just as she is..."]

I'm trying to imagine anyone, anywhere, uttering the phrase "I don't like pin-ups." Nope, doesn't compute.

~RP

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Paperback 639: Kothar and the Wizard Slayer / Gardner F. Fox (Unibook nn)

Paperback 639: Unibook nn (1st ptg, 1970)

Title: Kothar and the Wizard Slayer
Author: Gardner F. Fox
Cover artist: Jeff Jones

Yours for: $5


Best things about this cover:

• Behold the mystical wonder of the medieval PowerPoint presentation.
• Redhead: "Now if you'll direct your attention right ... here." Gremlin: "Eh! Oh! Eh! What the hell?!"
• Protip: Do not interrupt a gremlin during his morning shower, for that is when he lip syncs and dances to Katy Perry.
• Maybe having your two main characters turn their backs on the camera isn't the greatest idea, visual interest-wise.

Best things about this back cover:

• Choose from our vast selection of Kothars!
• And, in the most shocking Rose Ceremony ever ... it's Frostfire! Sorry, Lori.
• In my best Norman Bates voice: "A boy's best friend is his sword." 

Page 123~

Red Lori was there, coming from the building door, with Phordog Fale and Nemidomes at her elbow. In the background shadows he could make out Cybala, hiding. 

I see this author comes from the Get High And Utter Random Syllables school of character-naming. In other news, the official progression of fail is now Fail, Epic Fail, Phordog Fale.

~RP

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Paperback 636: You Can't See Around Corners / Jon Cleary (Popular Library 497)

Paperback 636: Popular Library 497 (1st ptg, 1953)

Title: You Can't See Around Corners
Author: Jon Cleary
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $16


Best things about this cover:

• Furious that Steve doubted her ability to see around corners, Beverly grabbed Steve's tie and then plunged her left hand into the back of his skull.
• I'm assuming that's Frankie McCoy back there on the park bench, 'cause I have a hard time seeing this awkward earnest pinhead as a "hoodlum." Looks more like a teaching assistant.
• I am a big fan of her dress, and of the idea that she is about to throw him to the ground, Judo-style.

Best things about this back cover:

• Double Fear Hand!
• Why did he give his money to horses? They're notoriously bad investors and lack opposable thumbs with which to hold money.
• It's like that dude's having a hard time deciding who to shiv: the giant leprechaun or the blue-haired 8th-grader.

Page 123~

She faced him and he got a good look at her. He was glad he had come over: she had not spoken, had not accepted him, yet he was already seeing beyond the dance hall, seeing what might come later, tasting her potentialities. She was blonde but Nature had been aided; her eyes were frank and with long lashes, the best feature in her round, slightly plump face; she was tall and big and high-breasted, her body alive and strong, earthily sexual in the tight green dress. The night should be interesting.

First, "frank"!

Second, if you ever want to kill a mood, or add a creepy vibe to any situation, just use the phrase "tasting her potentialities."

~RP

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Paperback 599: Wild Drums Beat / F. Van Wyck Mason (Pocket Books 977)

Paperback 599: Pocket Books 977 (1st ptg, 1953)

Title: Wild Drums Beat
Author: F. Van Wyck Mason
Cover artist: Richard Cardiff

Yours for: $7


Best things about this cover:

• "Uh ... he was like this when I found him."
• "Shhh. Be vewy, vewy quiet. We're hunting wabbits..."
• Real men make snow angels "Indian-style."
• Margery made the rather large mistake of trying to ride the Black Horse of Death sidesaddle. 

Best things about this back cover:

• "Renegade trapper" would look great on a business card.
• Random trivia: Googling ["scalp-hungry"] returns 4100+ hits. So ... it's an adjective with a life beyond this cover.
• Remember when men's courage and women's love could solve world problems? And now look at us. Lousy Obama.

Pag 123~

He nodded, mimicked the shadow of his head wrought black and distorted upon the lean-to's roof.

Grammatically, I'm not really sure what to do with this (how do you mimic a shadow that you yourself are creating?), but I do love a good lean-to reference.

~RP

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Paperback 598: Mingo Dabney / James Street (Pocket Books 819)

Paperback 598: Pocket Books 819 (1st ptg, 1951)

Title: Mingo Dabney
Author: James Street
Cover artist: Harvey Kidder

Yours for: $7


Best things about this cover:

• And Mingo was his name. O.
• I believe this is the pose for which the expression "Huzzah!" was invented.
• "Who the hell took my castanets?!? I can't do this dance without my castanets!!!"
• Who's the cat who makes all the hijab-wearin' ladies freak out and the grizzled Hemingway impersonators nod in silent admiration ...? — hint: it's not Shaft.

Best things about this back cover:

• Actor Dabney Coleman was famous for getting drunk at wrap parties and insisting that everyone call him "El Dabney."
• "MINGO DABNEY so fly he turn a saint All Woman."—lost '90s rap lyric
• I would like to thank Pocket Books for (fairly) consistently crediting cover artists.

Page 123~

"Listen, Mr. Carson." Mingo ran his fingers through his hair and his fingers were sticky with sweat. "I'm damn near crazy."

Furthermore, in case you missed it: fingers.

~RP

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P.S. Bonus illustration ... author beefcake!

[Street's ahead]

Paperback 312: Conan / Robert E. Howard, L. Sprague de Camp, Lin Carter (Lancer 73-685)

Paperback 312: Lancer 73-685 (PBO collection, 1967)

Title: Conan
Authors: Robert E. Howard, L. Sprague de Camp, Lin Carter
Cover artist: Frank Frazetta

Offered without comment, in honor of Frank Frazetta (1928-2010)

• OK, one comment — that is some serious MMA shit going on between Conan and the Phantom of the Apera

Two more Frazetta covers in coming days.

~RP

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Paperback 254: Cradle of the Sun / John Clagett (Popular Library 566)

Paperback 254: Popular Library 566 (1st ptg, 1954)

Title: Cradle of the Sun
Author: John Clagett
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Yours for: $13


Best things about this cover:

• "Sorry, ladies! Filene's Attic is closed!"
• "I just flew in from Cleveland and boy are my arms tired ... get it? ... airplane [mimes airplane] ... yeesh, tough room."
• Rick Astley protects his Mayan mistress from the Spaniards: "Never gonna give her up ..."
• "Excuse me, sir, we mean no offense. It's just ... you have a bit of mole sauce under your right nipple ... just ... here. Might I suggest you try donning a shirt next time you partake of a meal?"

Best things about this back cover:

• No offense, ma'am, but: Worst Hat Ever. I wanna club her head with a stick and see if candy comes out.
• "Taut tale" — aw yeah, tell me more.
• She does not seem impressed with the size of their knives. In fact, I'm not convinced she's really looking at them. "Excuse me guys, I think I see Enrique over there. Oh Enrique!"

Page 123~

"By God, Suarez, rejoice! Your wit has at last produced an idea!"

~RP

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Paperback 216: The April Robin Murders / Craig Rice and Ed McBain (Dell D306)

Paperback 216: Dell D306 (1st ptg, 1959)

Title: The April Robin Murders
Author: Craig Rice and Ed McBain
Cover artist: Robert McGinnis

Yours for: SOLD (June '09)


Best things about this cover:

• Signature super-hot McGinnis woman ... until you get up to the head. Then it's The Joker's mom. Holy moly.
• I hope I don't offend anyone when I say that McGinnis draws the best asses, anywhere, ever. His women tend to be a little gaunt and a little dead-eyed for me, in general, but from waist to knees I have zero complaints.
• Oddly comical cover for McGinnis, perhaps because the book is a kind of dark comedy. Love the Spy vs. Spy wavy dagger in the dead guy's hand. Also, love his hand. Awesome agony hand.

Best things about this back cover:

• I think you mean "A Front," but OK.
• I want you to write a story for me that begins "So Bingo and Handsome..." I would read that story.
• Why are those phrases hyphenated in the second paragraph. So Wrong. So Wrong. Trying to see humor ... failing ...
• I would wear a t-shirt that read simply "What You Need In Hollywood Is "Front"" - enigmatic!
• Um, I just noticed that she has pompons on her ankles for some reason. What the hell is that all about? Or is she being attacked by Evil Tribbles?

Page 123~

There were a great many things to say, Bingo reflected, and none of them really seemed to fit the occasion. He stood by the doorway, deciding between "How did you get in?" "What are you doing here?" and "Who are you?"

~RP

Paperback 146: The Gods of Mars / Edgar Rice Burroughs (Del Rey 27835)

Paperback 146: Del Rey 27835 (13th ptg, 1979)

Title: The Martian Tales of Edgar Rice Burroughs, Vol. 2: The Gods of Mars
Author: Edgar Rice Burroughs
Cover artist: Michael Whelan

Yours for: $6


Best things about this cover:

• "Hey, wardrobe, can we get some more groin coverage on set, please? STAT!"
• That hunk of "rock" behind them looks disgusting - like rock candy mixed with snot
• I like the part where the naked ballet dancer disembowels the Cyclopadusasaurus.
• Second sets of arms just look silly. That bottom set looks like the hands of someone who can't see and is flailing wildly because his head is shoved up into the torso of the sabermantis.
• Scifi artists, for whatever reason, seem to get credited a lot more than paperback cover artists working in other genres. It takes real talent to do good scifi covers. Even if the artist is super-talented, there's always the danger (manifested here) that the resulting imaginative landscape will look campy and ridiculous.

Best things about this back cover:

• Ugh, more side-arms.
• Cyclopadusasaurus is open downfield ... looks like she'll catch the moonsphere, but man is she going to take a hit from the safety.
• "Return to Peril" - do I have to?
• Dejah Thoris drops mad beats.
• I don't think you're supposed to want to "escape" from an "Eden" (which is, by definition, perfect)

Page 123~

"The great Thark, I fear, is dead," she replied, sadly.

~RP

Paperback 125: Sad Cypress / Agatha Christie (White Circle n.n.)

Paperback 125: White Circle [no number] (1st ptg, undated, c. 1944)

Title: Sad Cypress
Author: Agatha Christie
Cover artist: Who Knows?

Yours for: $25


Best things about this cover:

• It's like Art Deco meets Evil - "Help, I'm being attacked by the Chrysler Building!"
• I like how "Sign of a good / detective novel" is so shabbily printed. Did they not have the technology to, say, center things in the 1940s?
• White Circle books are really hard to get hold of in the States. They are Australian, I think. There seems to have been a White Circle publishing out of Canada too. Maybe it's a Commonwealth imprint. At any rate, this book was published in Sydney.
• So basically this is a story about two ghosts who really hate trees ...

Best things about this back cover:

• EVERYTHING - do you know how rare it is to get a full-page ad on the back cover? Very. I think I have one other book with such a cover - that cover has an ad for men's belts (!?). This one, however, has cartoonery and poetry and disease paranoia and I'm gonna say quackery. So so so awesome.
• I can't decide if that officer is breaking up a fight or enforcing a quarantine.

Page 123:

Poirot waved a hand.
"There is nothing much to that! It might easily have been written by an educated person who chose to disguise the fact. That is why I wish you had the letter still. People who try to write in an uneducated manner usually give themselves away."

~RP

Paperback 118: The Ravagers / Donald Hamilton (Gold Medal k1452)

Paperback 118: Gold Medal k1452 (PBO, 1964)
Title: The Ravagers
Author: Donald Hamilton
Cover artist: John McDermott (thanks to George Freeman for the artist credit)

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• Finally, the untold story of how the Scooby-Doo gang broke up - here, Velma tries to protect and console Daphne while Fred fends off a drug-addled Shaggy, who is despondent and irate about the fact that Fred had Scooby put down.
• The Matt Helm series was very popular, and Dean Martin played Helm on screen. I've never read Hamilton, but I'm starting to think it might be worth the effort. I always associate him with John D. MacDonald, largely because the Travis McGee and Matt Helm series were both published by Gold Medal throughout the 60s.

Best things about this back cover:

• That's the egg-headiest author pic ever.
• Code Name: Eric - exotic!
• "... lying dead in a Canadian motel room" - about the most undignified place you could possibly die. Bad enough to have your face eaten away by acid, but in a Canadian motel? That's just over-the-top.

Page 123~

She smiled up at me approvingly. "What a suspicious tall man it is! Don't worry, darling. We're going to have a swell time together. We'll have a million kicks, a million laughs. Hand me that shirt, will you?"

~RP