Paperback 787: The Man Who Never Was / Ewen Montagu (Avon 640)

Paperback 787: Avon 640 (1st ptg, 1955)

Title: The Man Who Never Was
Author: Ewen Montagu
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $8


Best things about this cover:

• Exciting to imagine Ghost Major—riding the seas, thwarting the Nazis.
• Less exciting when you find out "the man who never was" was actually an "anonymous corpse" that doesn't reanimate or nothin'.
• This cover manages to be clever without being particularly interesting or exciting.

Best things about this back cover:

• More visual riffs on The Invisible Man theme.
• Silly Germans—Tricks are for Victorious Americans!
• "Operation Mincemeat" sounds like a WWII-themed Looney Tunes short featuring Sylvester and Tweety Bird.

Page 123~

An attempt at an immediate thrust into the area of SALONICA and THRACE need not be reckoned with.

And that's how Major Martin avoided the clap.

~RP

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Paperback 713: Flight / Edgar Jean Bracco (Berkley G291)

Paperback 713: Berkley Medallion G291 (PBO, 1959)

Title: Flight
Author: Edgar Jean Bracco
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• Lasers!
• Simple, clean lines. Shitty-looking sky, but still, oddly elegant in its simplicity.
• Love the "Flight" font and its positioning on the horizon.
• Surely the copywriter could've gotten another "A" word into that tagline.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Authentic!" See, that's an "A"-word.
• ETO is a common crossword answer. PTO, not so much (i.e. never).
• "Annals" always makes me do a double-take. Also, another solid "A"-word.

Page 123~

"You gone nuts? How we going to—"

~RP

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Paperback 657: The Red Badge of Courage / Stephen Crane (Pocket Books 154)

Paperback 657: Pocket Books 154 (5th ptg, 1951)

Title: The Red Badge of Courage
Author: Stephen Crane
Cover artist: John Alan Maxwell

Yours for: $12


Best things about this cover:

• This book is weird. It's a 5th printing, 1951 paperback, but retains the look of a book from a decade earlier. Perhaps this is because this book is a "classic" or "literary" or whatever—which was the backbone of Pocket's catalogue in the early years, before they figured out, you know, sex sells.
• This book is also in near-perfect condition. Square, bright, barely read. Always feels like a minor miracle to pull a 50- to 60-year old paperback off a shelf and see it so pristine.
• I like how this guy's coming right at you. The tone of the whole painting is very (appropriately) ambiguous. All the storied elements of war (bombs bursting in air and what not) mixed with stumps and sad expressions and a very sickly sky.

Best things about this back cover:

• Pretty straightforward. Nothing to see here.

Page 123~

The men stared with blank and yokel-like eyes at him. He was obliged to halt and retrace his steps. He stood then with his back to the enemy and delivered gigantic curses into the faces of the men. His body vibrated from the weight and force of his imprecations. And he could string oaths with the facility of a maiden who strings beads.

I'm getting really tired of all this hyper-competent writing. It's throwing me off my game.

~RP

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Paperback 333: Fighting Generals / Phil Hirsch (Pyramid G496)

Paperback 333: Pyramid G496 (PBO, 1960)

Title: Fighting Generals
Editor: Phil Hirsch
Cover artist: Mel Crair

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• Well, insofar as you can describe the "best things" about Nazis ... I'd say that is some fine portraiture. I love the expression on Rommel's face. He looks a bit like Colonel Klink. Accident?
• How many insignias does one man need?
• This title is superlame. I can't wait for the sequel, "Peaceful Generals." That, or "Fleeing Generals"

Best things about this back cover:

• Hmmm. Design on this is pretty nice. Staggered photos, staggered descriptions, on a two-tone back ground. Kind of evokes the stripes on a flag. Kind of evokes chaos.
• Of course the Russian sounds the worst. Hello, 1960! Fuck you, Commies!

Page 123~

The stooped old man looked harmless—but Hitler's killers knew he was a deadly threat to the Nazi empire!

This may be the first time my "Page 123" has been an above-the-chapter-title teaser. Dynamic!

~RP

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Paperback 332: The Cruel Dawn / Alfred Viazzi (Popular Library 440)

Paperback 332: Popular Library 440 (1st ptg, 1952)

Title: The Cruel Dawn
Author: Alfred Viazzi
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $14


Best things about this cover:

• "I said, I'm gonna wash that gray right out of your hair! Hold still!"
• "Demon, I cast thee out!"
• Gloria liked to end every dance with a vicious take-down.
• Normally I find things like garter belts and cleavage quite hot, but between the dowdiness of that nightgown and the oddly porcelain quality of this woman's skin, this lady just isn't doing it for me. Also, maybe it's just me, but she seems a bit standoffish.

Best things about this back cover:

• Her body is blonde? That's more info than you usually get in an opening description.
• Oooh, a "lusty bordello." Not one of those Puritanical bordellos you see from time to time. Those are sooo annoying.
• A decent, non-wanton actress would, of course, have taken the time to get properly dressed before shielding a man with her body. Pfft. Whore.

Page 123~

The last thing he remembered was the thud and pain of a boot kicking hard into the side of his head.

~RP

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57 Books from the University Book Sale: Book 28

First, an announcement. The winner of "The Secret of Sylvia" (as determined by random.org) is ... MARLA! Send me your address and I'll get the book out to you ASAP.

Now, onto a new book!

Title: Pastoral (Ballantine X757, 1963)
Author: Nevil Shute
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $5 (free if your hair is shaped like a massive sideways comma)

• "I promise — I will return with the cure for Wedge Head. And then ... I Will Find You!"
• I got nothing else. Her hair is the only reason I noticed this book at all.
• "Urgent, tender and strong" is making me giggle a little

• Happy 110th birthday, Nevil Shute!

Page 123~

The Dane smiled ruefully.

Honestly, one of my favorite "Page 123" quotes in a long time

~RP

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Paperback 299: Ward 20 / James Warner Bellah (Popular Library 195)

Paperback 299: Popular Library 195 (1st ptg, 1950)

Title: Ward 20
Author: James Warner Bellah
Cover artist: Rudolph Belarski

Yours for: $16


Best things about this cover:

• "I know my breasts are soft and ripe and possibly delicious but let's just keep your hand right here, mkay?"
• Most pristine Army Hospital ever. Look at that bandage! Those sheets! Her uniform! His pajamas! Immaculate.
• Everyone in a Rudolph Belarski painting always has the smoothest, most luscious, buttery skin. These folks are angelic, bordering on cherubic.

Best things about this back cover:

• Love the way "LOVELY LEGS" springs up tall.
• "Meneilly" joins the growing roster of "Absurd Names from the world of Vintage Paperbacks" — I don't even know if that's a first or last name. I'm praying last.
• Awesome line break near the bottom: "... their need for women — so hard / To fill"; you had me at "hard."

Page 123~

"Let me go now," she whispered.
"You don't want me to."
"You've got to, Joe!"
"Who says so? You don't. You want me to hold onto you until you can't breathe — until you can't think or —"

This was later turned into the very unpopular movie, "What Women Don't Want"

~RP

Bonus material: opening blurb from one A.Q. Maisel of The Saturday Review of Books suggests that "there are many who will gag" when they read this book. Best come-on since, well, "The Macabre Wife Swapping Escapades Will Make You Vomit!.

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Paperback 283: Adventures of a Young Man / John Dos Passos (Lion Library 42)

Paperback 283: Lion Library LL42 (1st ptg, 1955)

Title: Adventures of a Young Man
Author: John Dos Passos
Cover artist: Clark Hulings

Yours for: $11


Best things about this cover:

• "Steve approached trench warfare with an air of whimsy, never letting a silly helmet ruin his perfectly coiffed blond mane."
• "Steve, how come when you hug me it feels like you're killing Germans?"
• Let's play: What's Steve Doing With His Mouth!? Choices a. gnawing on Gillian's brains, zombie-style, b. licking the chocolate out of her hair (don't ask), c. laughing at his own inability to find the bra strap, or d. Steve has no mouth — he lost it in the war.
• Hey, it's Clark Hulings Week this week at "Pop Sensation" — not because of any particularly burning desire on my part to write about him, but because I've had a request from Illustration magazine for some hi-res scans of Hulings covers, and so I've moved all his work to the front of the queue.
  

Best things about this back cover:

• "Gillian, your father and I strongly disapprove of your sleeping in the nude. Also, as you can see by our presence in your room, security in this apartment is terrible. You could at least get a dead bolt."
• Steve is doing his "going bowling" dance. Step slide, step slide ...
• If that is a train he's grabbing, and it is moving, he is about to be dragged to his bloody death. So ironic — surviving WWI only to be needlessly dragged to death on his way to a bowling engagement.
• Front cover scanned at 400dpi, back cover scanned at 200dpi. Can you see the difference?

Page 123~

Sometimes he wished he was a rolling stone like Glenn; but if you were going to raise stuff, corn or stock or babies, you just had to stay put.

~RP

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Paperback 259: Lincoln's Commando / Ralph J Roske and Charles van Doren (Pyramid G356)

Paperback 259: Pyramid G356 (1st ptg, 1958)

Title: Lincoln's Commando
Author: Ralph J. Roske and Charles Van Doren
Cover artist: Herb Mott

Yours for: SOLD (7/19/09)


Best things about this cover:

• The title and picture made me laugh out loud the first time I saw it. That is the only reason I own this book. "Arnold Schwarzenegger is ... Lt. William Cushing in ... Lincoln's Commando!"
• Actually, this guy looks more like ... who's that guy from "Ned and Stacey" and "Sideways?" Thomas Hayden Church?
• The rebels on the Albemarle appear to be shooting in random directions and possibly at each other.
• The water under Cushing's boat appears to be breaking on ... more, differently colored water. Weird.
• Here we see Cushing continuing the time-honored tradition of deck-edge weapon-dancing begun years earlier by the infamous Pirate Wench.

Best things about this back cover:

• Not much. We do get to see the NYT succumbing to a bout of sensational alliteration. That's slightly interesting.
• Apparently Cushing was a daring daredevil with a daredevil career of daredeviltry. He was also fearless. And daring.

Page 123~

He was pleased to discover that his adventures were well known in the town, that the paper reported his arrival on its front page, and that all the little boys hung on his every word when they could get him to describe his exploits — and not only the little boys; everyone seemed appreciative.

"[...] and not only the little boys ... I mean, not that he's particularly into little boys or anything. Really, he was popular with everyone. I swear. Forget what I said about the boys."

~RP

P.S. Thanks for keeping up with my stepped-up summer publication pace. I'm loving the volume and quality of comments. Happy that the blog has a modest but loyal and reliably smart/funny following. Keep it up.

P.P.S. Thanks for the links, the tweets, and any other form of promotion you've provided for this site. Truly, deeply appreciated.

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Paperback 255: Casualty / Robert Lowry (Popular Library 387)

Paperback 255: Popular Library 387 (1st ptg, 1951)

Title: Casualty
Author: Robert Lowry
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $12


Best things about this cover:

• "... Women Without Morals"? More like "Women Without Vaginas." I'm just sayin', the tramp in the doorway with the beatific glow was definitely born a man.
• Joe got so distracted trying to hide his erection that he forgot he was holding a lit cigarette. This picture was taken about one second before Joe exclaimed "Fuck!" and threw the cigarette to the ground.
• Joe liked to tease the ladies by striking manly poses, and then, when women would show an interest, smiling and pointing to the sign by his head. A succession of knees to the groin taught him to stand like that.
• If anyone has an explanation for Frenchy McNewsieCap there in the background, I'd love to hear it.

Best things about this back cover:

• Not even WOMEN? Wow. That's bad. Whatever "that" is.
• "Even lush Maria ... didn't help much." Not having a vagina was probably a big part of the problem.
• "... and Colonel Polaski was waiting." Waiting for what!? If WOMEN didn't help, what did? All I can say is that if this book *doesn't* involve lots of rough gay sex, I'm going to be very disappointed.

Page 123~

"Let's get out of here, chum, I know a really nice place up the street where you can find something more than a bloody drink," the big Limey said.

OK, that has promise.

~RP

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Paperback 215: Company K / William March (Lion Books 111)

Paperback 215: Lion Books 111 (1st ptg, 1952)

Title: Company K
Author: William March
Cover artist: Rafael DeSoto

Yours for: $13


Best things about this cover:

• DeSoto is one of the great naturalistic cover artists, and this cover is really expertly painted. Beautiful, detailed, evocative of the suffering of war. I'm finding this cover slightly hard to make fun of. Although ... if her stroking and pumping that giant lever isn't innuendo, I don't know what is. That is, if "she" is indeed a woman. The novel is, after all, "flaming."
• I'm afraid of the guy at the front of that line. He looks like he's lost all hope ... or else he is a golem or a droid or something.
• "The Flaming Novel of Men and Women at War" - sounds like a book about the battle of the sexes. "Men Are From Mars ... : WWI Edition!"

Best things about this back cover:

• "Company K is a Knockout"! Letter play not so effective when the "K" is silent. "Company G is a Gnat-infested Gnightmare"
• This back cover is in Love with alliteration. Courage and cowardice ... lustings (!?) and lies, daring, doom, and death.
• It's appropriate that this book is somewhat purple, because check out the prose in that second paragraph. March impales angry moments with his bayonet-pen!?
• I like the little flag, particularly the wacky font of the letters.

This is a pretty famous and well-received novel of W. W. I, organized into micro-chapters about every single man in the company. Blurbs inside from Granville Hicks, Graham Greene, James T. Farrell, and Phyllis Bentley (whoever that is).

Page 123~

On Monday a kid from my company named Ben Hunzinger got fifteen years hard labor for deserting in the face of the enemy, and a long talk from Mr. Fairbrother about justice tempered with mercy.

Whoa, "Mr. Fairbrother?" Is this an allegory?

~RP

Paperback 198: Tombolo / Nicholas Fersen (Popular Library - Eagle Books EB36X)

Paperback 198: Popular Library - Eagle Books EB36X (2nd ptg, 1955)

Title: Tombolo
Author: Nicholas Fersen
Cover artist: That guy who does all the Popular Library covers whose name I just don't know

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• "See you later, lady. Thanks for all the sex. We enjoyed it."
• Least comfortable sex location ever. By a longshot. Rocky, dirty, uneven ground, surrounded by bombed out ruins. "Let's put some rebar in the foreground!" "Genius!"
• Her hand ... it's astonishingly suggestive. Is it just resting there? Going somewhere? Pulling dress down? Hiking it up? Write your own narrative.
• I love how the jolly fat guy is waving and she's got this look like "Yeah, @#$ you, you putz." Akimbo arm helps establish the defiance.
• "Not for the weak-stomached," i.e. "This book will make you barf!" Thanks, St. Louis Globe Democrat!

Best things about this back cover:

• The full akimbo!
• She has her own boy harem. Awesome.
• If you like degeneracy, this is the book for you. "Sinkhole!" "Sex and savagery!" "Thundering tide of passion and violence!" And, of course, what would a book about Italian degeneracy be without a "vicious Negro" (!?)

Page 123~

He's gon' listen to me, Emmanuel thought, and rejoiced, knowing nothing about the gin and what had happened a few hours before in the heat, in the filigree of sunshine and the strident sound-layers of insects.

If the writer is trying to make the reader feel the pain of his characters, he seems to be doing a good job. If I had to read 150 pages of writing like that, I'd be begging for mercy from God and repenting all my sins.

~RP

Paperback 87: The Last Voyage of the Lusitania / A.A. and Mary Hoehling (Popular Library G184X)

Paperback 87: Popular Library G184X (1st ptg, 1957)

Title: The Last Voyage of the Lusitania
Author: A.A. Hoehling and Mary Hoehling
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $12


Best thing about this cover:

• As with "I Am Fifteen and I Don't Want to Die," I am having trouble mocking tragedy here.
• Titanic was basically a rip-off of this paperback cover.
• I know everyone's screaming and flailing and drowning, but ... at least the lady in red looks like she's having a good time.
• There's one guy in this picture I just don't get: the blue-suited sailor on the far left. First, his look is one of casual derision, like he finds the whole scene corny. Second, he appears to be working on a world record for longest fingernails - that, or he is idly scratching his face with breadsticks. Lastly, gravity says that he could not maintain the position he is in. And yet there he is. It's like he refuses to obey the new gravitational pull brought on by the ship's tilting, and is showing off by clutching the wrong side of the pillar for support.

Best things about this back cover:

• Oh boy, an orgy ... of frailty? What would that even look like? Who's writing these reviews? Isn't the SF Examiner supposed to be a real paper?
• In case you were wondering what happened to that ship on the front cover ... yeah, it sank. But it's OK, because Lois and Frank survived to repopulate the earth.
• This book is unread, and except for the slightest browning near the spine and faint scuffing on the back cover, it's in perfect condition.

And ... your PAGE 123:

On the other side of the bridge, which was almost completely awash, Turner glanced at his watch. It was 2:28 P.M, exactly eighteen minutes after the Lusitania had been hit. He thought himself to be the last man on the ship - though he was not - and realized that in a few more seconds he would no longer have a command.

-RP

Paperback 76: I Am Fifteen - And I Don't Want to Die / Christine Arnothy (Popular-Eagle Library EB95)

Paperback 76: Popular-Eagle Books EB95 (1st ptg, 1957)

Title: I Am Fifteen - and I Don't Want to Die
Author: Christine Arnothy
Cover artist: Mitchell Hooks

YOURS FOR: $9


Best things about this cover:

• It's hard to make fun of a 15-year-old who does not want to die, particularly when the people who might kill her are Nazis.
• This book was apparently published in order to capitalize on the brief vogue in diaries written by young girls hiding from Nazis.
• She's pretty chic for a war victim.
• This cover is slightly boring (not nearly Hooks's best work) but I do love the barbed wire detail around her ankles, and the color of the sky.

RP

Paperback 73: H.M.S. Ulysses / Alistair MacLean (Perma Books M-4067)

Paperback 73: Perma Books M-4067 (1st ptg, 1956)

Title: H.M.S. Ulysses
Author: Alistair MacLean
Cover artist: Robert Schulz


Best things about this cover:

• Ulysses decides he is tired of taking shit from the Harpies
• Awesomely unattributed blurb! - "Certainly the best novel of World War II at sea ... said this guy I heard mumbling to himself in the bookstore once."
• Robert Schulz is a great, great cover artist - one of the five best that ever lived, IMOO. His stuff is always very dramatic and naturalistic. We'll see a lot more from him.

RP

Paperback 29: Dell D209

Paperback 29: Dell D209 (1st ptg, 1957)

Title: Paths of Glory
Author: Humphrey Cobb
Cover artist: Walter Brooks

Best things about this cover:

• Ugly, pseudo-abstract expressionist cover - though if you look closely, you can see that there are actually little people in the painting: soldiers scampering up a hill. All the gorgeous cover paintings that go uncredited ... and yet this cover somehow merits an artist credit. Life is unfair.
• Lack of sensationalist cover art, plus 35-cent cover charge, plus blurbs from nearly reputable newspapers, let us know that this is "serious" literature.
• This is our first movie tie-in - a very collectible subset of vintage paperbacks. Though it's nowhere mentioned on the book, Paths of Glory is directed by Stanley Kubrick (one of his first major films - 1957). The novel is not lying when it tells you that the film is "great."

Best things about this back cover:

• The stony mug of Kirk Douglas!
• I wish I knew what "it" was in that blurb by "The Nation" - I'd hammer my students for leaving the referent so ill-defined.

RP