Paperback 607: Ain't Gonna Rain No More / John Faulkner (Gold Medal 927)

Paperback 607: Gold Medal 927 (PBO, 1959)

Title: Ain't Gonna Rain No More
Author: John Faulkner
Cover artist: Mitchell Hooks

Yours for: $20


Best things about this cover:

• Whoa. Hey, uh, Dorothy? Your underwear called. It wants to know why you left it at home.
• How many signifiers of hickdom can you cram onto one cover? (answer: infinite). It's all whittlin' and pail sittin' and stove-humpin' with these folks. 
• "If this were a cartoon, my hat would've flown off my head *this* far!"

Best things about this back cover:

• OK, that dress is way more, uh, titillating in higher-contrast B&W. The distinction between polka dot and nipple is at this point irrelevant.
• "for furnish" ... what in the George Shaw is that?
• With the door jamb, she looked like she was striking a sexy little pose. Without the door jamb—lice-picking.

Page 123~

"I need my bucket up here to flang at her again, ifen I could git her back on the porch. She's been right shy about coming out on the porch sinct that there bucket chased her offen the end."

I sincerely hope that when I am old, I will have one of theme there flangin' buckets to flang at people who get up on my porch without permission.

~RP

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Paperback 588: The Sin Shouter of Cabin Road / John Faulkner (Gold Medal s1070)

Paperback 588: Gold Medal s1070 (3rd ptg, 1960)

Title: The Sin Shouter of Cabin Road
Author: John Faulkner
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $13


Best things about this cover:

• Josiah never went out a-preachin' without his trusty pet slattern.
• Behold what the mind-blowing success of Erskine Caldwell hath wrought. 
• With "ribald," "earthy," "uninhibited" and (on back) "bawdy" all featuring prominently on this cover, I canNot believe there's not a "frank" in sight. I guess "frank" is what you get when you drain the corny humor away.
• I dig the guy's pocket square but what the hell is up with his shoes? Those are some amazing technicolor dream shoes right there. 
• She is supposed to be sexy but she has dumb, lop-sided eyes and looks more seal than human.

Best things about this back cover:

• If you liked "Uncle Good's Girls," you'll "Uncle Good's Girls II: Gooder Than Ever."
• I believe in the reality of a person named "Harry Serwer" about as much as I believe in a "star of Beelzebub."
• Please please please let "the glory trail" be some porn term I'm as-yet unaware of.

Page 123~

"They ain't much difference in them politicians oncet they gits to Washington nohow," Uncle Good said. "They are all jest about furriners. I wouldn't trust nair one in Washington after they let the W P and A fall through."

Uncle Good—poet, prophet, statesman, regional caricature

~RP

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Paperback 404: On Her Majesty's Secret Service / Ian Fleming (Signet P2732)

Paperback 404: Signet P 2732 (15th ptg, ca. 1969)

Title: On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Author: Ian Fleming
Cover artist: photo cover

Yours for: $13


Best things about this cover:

• Ladies Love Cool James
• Ladies also Love Quartered Lazenby
• These all seem like professional models, except for that one lady who is so rapt by Lazenby's prodigious hunk of man-scalp that she's raising her hand in astonishment while simultaneously setting out to scale his head.
• The fact that Diana Rigg is *not* on the cover of this novel is a crime against humanity.

Best things about this back cover:

• Aargh, stupid cheap books that can't be bothered to put different images on the back!
• How much do I want to have some business cards made that read "Ernest Stavro Blofeld — Master Artist of Cruelty / Licensed & Bonded / Walk-ins Welcome! [picture of kittens]"
• "...his horror-stained career" — oh, man, horror stains are the Hardest to get out. Trust me.

Page 123~

Bond pointed his skis down toward the tree-line, got down in his ugly crouch and shot, his skis screaming, into white space.

Wow. Nobody writes a sex scene quite like Fleming.

~RP

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57 Books from the University Book Sale: Book 33 and 34

Title: Roosevelt and Hopkins (in two volumes!) (Bantam nn, October 1950)
Author: Robert E. Sherwood
Cover artist: photos

Yours for: $8 (for the two)

• "Oh, Hopkins, how I think of you when you're away ..."
  
• I bought these because a. I don't have much non-fiction / history / biography in my collection, and b. I had noooooooooo idea how a two-volume biography of a president of the U.S. could be (half-) dedicated to a Man I Had Never Heard Of. Hopkins!? Gerard Manley is the only Hopkins I know. Oh, and Johns.
• Harry Hopkins was an important adviser to FDR — one of the architects of the New Deal (acc. to Wikipedia).

Vol 2:

• What the hell has FDR got on his shoulder? His wife's hat?

• Major props to FDR for being the only one of the three world leaders in this photo who doesn't look like a total asshole.

Page 123~

After he became Secretary of State, Marshall told me that he believed that his appointment as Chief of Staff in 1939 had been primarily due to Harry Hopkins.

In return, Marshall had to give Hopkins his first-born child.

~RP

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57 Books from the University Book Sale: Book 21

Title: Too Late the Phalarope (Signet S1290, 1956)
Author: Alan Paton
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: Whatever

• The "phalarope" is a wading bird, and not, as it sounds, a rope made out of penis.
• The background of this cover is an abstract horror show. Total fail.

• Well, N.Y. Herald Tribune, you were half right.
• Publishing imperative: do not, under any circumstances, mention "race" on the cover. "Instead of 'white,' why not try 'most respected'? And for 'black,' consider some version of 'forbidden.'"

Page 123~

And he would not eat in the sun, but in the house; and he would not eat at all, but drank many cups of coffee, and smoked the cigarettes. And again he said, what's the talk amongst the black people, Johannes? But the boy could tell him nothing of account.

~RP

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