Paperback 927: Ashenden / W. Somerset Maugham (Avon PN240)

Paperback 927: Avon PN240 (13th ptg, 1969)

Title: Ashenden
Author: W. Somerset Maugham
Cover artist: Uncredited (who does these awesome psychedelic late '60s Avon covers!?)

Estimated value: $15 (bit scuffed, but very tight, square, barely if ever read)

Best things about this cover:

• This is like "Being There" meets "Laugh-In" meets "Planes Trains and Automobiles" meets "Monty Python" meets "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor MURDER Coat"!
• This cover is Milton Glaser-esque.
• Purple? The spy wore ... purple? Really?

Best things about this back cover:

• It's like a dream catcher ... for breaths.
• There's a lot of "Cold" here. Nothing about the color scheme says "Cold." Earth tones never say "Cold."
• I prefer my dens ruddy.

Page 123~

R. was a soldier and regarded introspection as unhealthy, unEnglish and unpatriotic.

Great sentence, but one that cries out especially hard for an Oxford comma.

~RP

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Paperback 677: Scottsboro Boy / Haywood Patterson and Earl Conrad (Bantam 920)

Paperback 677: Bantam 920 (1st ptg, 1951)

Title: Scottsboro Boy
Author: Haywood Patterson and Earl Conrad
Cover artist: Joseph Hirsch

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• Tagline should probably be a bit more specific: "The Shocking Truth about Black Men in Prison on Charges of Raping White Girls in Ultra-Racist Alabama"
• In case you didn't know, this case is super-famous in the history of Civil Rights.
• I love how this is just a straight-up portrait, and all the drama is in the background details—white lawman with a club; "Alabama" and "South(ern?)" partially blocked by man's head; fittingly Black & White rail crossing guard sticking straight up; etc.
• I like his suspenders.

Best things about this back cover:

• I am unsure how I feel about the characterization "Jungle Conditions"—sounds sympathetic, but "jungle" is one of those words that hovers disparagingly around black people. All the time. I've been deep into 1923 newspapers this month, and I'm more familiar than I'd like to be with the vast and colorful language of racism.
• Interesting to have an Alabama paper blurb this book.
• Like the shadowed font on "Scottsboro Boy" here.

Page 123~

Merle had a funny sense of justice. He didn't want to see anybody injure anybody else. He'd kill the guy that injured the other one.

From now on, violence in the name of non-violence will be called "Merle Justice."

~RP

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Paperback 646: People vs. Withers & Malone / Stuart Palmer & Craig Rice (Award Books A146F)

Paperback 646: Award Books A146F (1st ptg, 1965)

Title: People vs. Withers & Malone
Author: Craig Rice & Stuart Palmer
Cover artist: Uncredited / Clip art?

Yours for: $5


Best things about this cover:

• Craig Rice and Stuart Palmer document their early experiments with sexual role-playing games. "Wait, I forget, am I 'Withers' or 'Malone' in this scenario?" Speaking of role-playing, "Craig Rice" is male-sounding pseudonym for female author Georgiana Ann Craig. I own a nice copy of a book she ghost-wrote for actor George Sanders. (Here's a nice write-up about Rice at "Pulp Serenade")
• Or maybe the parrot is 'Withers' and the cougar is 'Malone', in which case I am hoping for a break-out and then serious carnage. Malone can do the killing, while Withers provides narration. "[Squawk!], he's got your eyeball! Got your eyeball! [Squawk!]"
• I hope the artist got paid the $0.75 he was owed for this "painting."
• I keep looking at this book and seeing "An Insane Rectum Mystery."

Best things about this back cover:

• God, paperback book design just went to $^#%ing hell in the mid-'60s. Not in all instances, but in many. See virtually every Travis McGee novel. So much potential, so much ugh.
• I love that Artzybasheff is someone's name. Some *artist's* name.
• I love that "Ellery Queen" (itself a pseudonym) refers to the mid-'60s as "these unfunny days." I can only guess what he means, but I love an author who believes his own time has gone to hell. Also, from a crime novel / crime movie perspective, the mid-60s were (with some very notable exceptions [cough] Parker [cough]) pretty dire.

Page 123~

"Blue sea!" cried Malone. "I told her her eyes were as blue as the sea! That was Luke Swenson's sister, Little Helga, a queen-size Viking goddess! I am in love with her, practically!"

"Practically!" So few people exclaim their hedge words! Nice.

~RP

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Paperback 547: Tales of Wells Fargo / Frank Gruber (Bantam 1726)

Paperback 547: Bantam 1726 (1st ptg, 1958)

Title: Tales of Wells Fargo
Author: Frank Gruber
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $7
Best things about this cover:

• It's so generic that the only thing I can get at all excited about is the adjective "bullion-laden."
• I do like the little B&W ticker at the bottom. I just wish it was animated and came w/ olde timey music, like a player piano or something.
• Oooh, Dale Robertson. He's .... who is he?
• "Tales of Wells Fargo" sounds like the testimonials page at their bank website: "The tellers were super-friendly..."

Best things about this back cover:

• Oooh, Dale Robertson. He's ... nope, nothing. Looks like Generic McWhiteGuy.
• "Maybe some sweat in their arm-pits" FTW!!!! Now that's vivid! I can almost smell Dale Robertson.
• Flint-eyed ... rock-jawed ... smashing their eyes and jaws together to start fires. Truly fearsome.

Page 23~

"Item number 3," the auctioneer went on. "This old suitcase. But who can say what treasure might lie inside? I admit it looks ancient and worn, yet this humble and modest exterior could be deceiving. Ladies and gentlemen, I beg you not to disappoint me with paltry bids that insult not only man's intelligence but his imagination. Bid up this time, bid high. Live recklessly." 

Well, someone can say. You could just unzip it and look inside and then ... oh, I'm missing the point? All right then.

~RP

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Paperback 521: The Man With the Golden Gun / Ian Fleming (Signet P2735)

Paperback 521: Signet P2735 (1st ptg, 1966)

Title: The Man with the Golden Gun
Author: Ian Fleming
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Yours for: $6


Best things about this cover:

• James Bond subdues the 50-Foot Woman ... with sexy results.
• Damn the '60s, with their "words" crowding out all the luscious artistry. I can't believe the great Barye Phillips' work has been reduced (literally and metaphorically) to this. It's like his art is being chewed by the bloody fangs of the words, while also being attacked by a golden word-buzzsaw.
• Her ass is so hot it's literally steaming.

Best things about this back cover:

• NOTHING!
• Ah, "bordello," you seldom-used, beautiful word.
• "Aided by his sex-galore confederate" is a brilliant phrase, I'll give the copy writer that.

Page 123~

Amused by his thoughts, Bond's right hand came out of his pocket and lit a cigarette for him, quietly and obediently. It had stopped going off chasing rabbits on its own.

I'm kind of stuck on how a "hand" gets "amused."

~RP

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57 Books from the University Book Sale: Book 5

Title: The Man in Lower Ten (Dell D276, 1959)
Author: Mary Roberts Rinehart
Cover artist: Muni

Yours for: best offer

• I'm intrigued the modernist book design in the book hammock
• More gruesome lefthanditude
• This cover gets awesomer once you realize that it is a wrap-around...

• Free verse. Interesting. I am imagining this being read at a Poetry Slam. Now I'm imagining it being read by Garrison Keillor. Both versions have their charms / horrors.
• "Confirmed bachelor" — awesome! The main character is gay! That must be why there's that dash for shocking emphasis in the phrase "he fell desperately, unequivocally / in love — with a woman!" [gasp!]
• Mmmm, 9. My favorite number. I am the man in lower nine.

Page 123~

Hotchkiss had penetrated the steaming interior of the cave, and now his voice, punctuated by the occasional thud of horses' hoofs, came to me.

What are horses hoofs doing in the middle of an otherwise very hot sex scene?

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Paperback 149: Man on the Move / Cliff Merritt (Popular Library 445-08224-075)

Paperback 149: Popular Library 445-08224-075 (PBO, 1973)

Title: Cliff Merritt's Man on the Move!
Author: Cliff Merritt, I presume
Cover artist: Let me guess - Cliff Merritt?

Yours for: $8


Best things about this cover:

• "Cliff Merritt is ... Cliff Merritt, in ... Cliff Merritt's ... Man on the Move!"
• I remember looking at this book for So Long wondering ".... ?"
• "The different modes of transportation are not enough - we need an inset ... maybe a railroad conductor, or ... I know! An old dude doing the white man's overbite while rocking out to Huey Lewis on his weekly trip to the cardigan sweater store in Utica! That's it!"
• Cliff Merritt is Chris Ware's great-grandfather, I'm convinced.
• This book has "looming gas crisis" written All over it.
• Least appealing color palette ever.

Best things about this back cover:

• "It's hip to be square!"
• "Between book covers," HA ha. Now if we're talking "between stone tablets," "between blades of grass," or "between your buttcheeks," well, mister, that's a whole 'nother story.
• "It gets more interesting with every page you turn" - "Damn it, how do you work these book thingies again, Mildred? Oh, right, you turn the pages. Stupid modern technology."

And it does get "more interesting" (Chinese folks might want to look away now):


Cliff Merritt is basically that random older guy everyone knows who likes to show you all the trivia he knows because he imagines it makes him seem wise. That little symbol, like a "T" having its way with a "W" ... it's on Every Single Drawing. So it's a ... signature? The opening blurb in the book says that Cliff Merritt cartoons are "well-loved." I would say "well tolerated," at best. Like the drugs you see ads for on TV.

Page 123~


~RP

Paperback 138: One-Way Ticket / Bert and Dolores Hitchens (Perma Books M-3100)

Paperback 138: Perma Book M-3100 (1st ptg, 1957)
Title: One-Way Ticket
Author: Bert and Dolores Hitchens
Cover artist: James Meese



Yours for: $7

Best things about this cover:

• "Railroad detective" - my favorite kind!
• The swirling green vortex of nausea and despair
• The distractingly child-like drawing of the upper half of a candle
• Cool stenciled font on the title
• That furniture - the proportions seem off and there are legs that appear to come from / go to nowhere, but in general, it's cool; spare, stark, mid-century modern in the very best way
• If only she hadn't cut her hair by herself in the dark with a bread knife, she would easily be one of the hottest women in my collection - understated yet stunning black dress (that's a dress, right, not a negligee?), fierce black slip-ons, and a perversely casual way with money. What's not to love?
  

Best things about this back cover:

• I love when back covers function like movie teasers: " ... MURDER! Featuring ... Boots! David Bryant! Some other B movie character actors whose names you don't know. And starring Jerry Mathers, as The Beav"
• Which of these names doesn't belong? A: "David Bryant" - what a dud. That last name really ruins the whole vibe of the back cover. Everyone else gets one colorful name, and he gets the full name of some guy from middle management.
• Wait, Rock dies? Uh, SPOILER ALERT!
• This all makes sense except for Boots. I mean, I could write the plot of this book, but I would have no idea what to do with Boots. David Bryant already has two women. Is Boots a cat?

Page 123~

This was a joke on Boots by Boots. They were all expected to enjoy it. They chuckled in chorus and Vic felt a fool.

I'm guessing it was a familiar feeling.

~RP

Paperback 83: Trouble Follows Me / Kenneth Millar (Lion Books 47)

Paperback 83: Lion Books 47 (1st ptg, 1950)

Title: Trouble Follows Me
Author: Kenneth Millar (aka Ross Macdonald)
Cover artist: unknown

Yours for: $14


Best things about this cover:

• "Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'E'! Gimme an 'A'! Oh hell, just give me a kiss, big boy!"
• "I demand to know how why you aren't wearing an American flag on this lapel, you bastard!"
• "Honey, you know I love caressing your elbows, but people are starting to stare ..."
• I admire this man's ability to check out the smoking man behind him despite the fact that the laws of nature forbid it - how is he able to see through his own left shoulder? Maybe he's checking him out in a mirror just off-screen...
• If you changed the text on the cover, you could easily turn this picture into a cover for a Kinsey-era "My secret gay life" and / or "Do I like boys or girls?" novel (an actual subgenre of which I own a few examples). The smoking man could be stalking our hero, but he could just as easily be checking out his ass.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Death tracked him." So the smoking man is ... Death. That's deep. Allegorical.
• "Moslem attitude of prayer" ???
• Sam Drake - sounds nothing like Sam Spade. How dare you suggest it's a pathetic rip-off.
• Kenneth Millar became one of the best-selling and best-reviewed crime fiction writers of the 20th century under the name Ross Macdonald. He is, more than anyone, responsible for the general shape, tenor, feel, idiom, etc. of the modern detective novel. This is not, IMOO, a good thing. Watered down, moralistic P.I.-ness ... hero is flawed but ultimately unequivocally Good. Give me Chandler's Philip Marlowe Any Day of the Week.
• This particular book is sun-faded like crazy, and has clearly been read multiple times (once by me). It's encased in a plastic slip cover (the way I found it). Still, it's tight and complete and a great, great reading copy.
• It's #47! (Meaningless to you unless you graduated from the same college as I did)

RP

Paperback 58: Orient Express / Graham Greene (Bantam 1333)

Paperback 58: Bantam 1333 (1st ptg, 1955)

Title: Orient Express
Author: Graham Greene
Cover artist: George Gross

"The story of a woman who struggled valiantly to hold up a giant, red wall!"

or

"The story of a woman who stood up to a marauding Lionel Train set!"

or

"The story of one woman's attempt to reach the On / Off switch
without drawing attention to herself!"

Best things about this cover:

• Fabulous melodramatic art. Love the exaggerated expression of terror on her face.
• Trenchcoat!
• After a few shabby reprints, we're back in the sweet spot of my collection. 1955 is probably the high point for paperback cover art, and George Gross is one of the top artists of the period (God I love it when I can read the artist's signature on a cover - it's shocking how often the artwork goes unattributed). I'd venture to guess that the average quality of cover art for 1955 is higher than that for any other year, with a rapid decline thereafter. I may have to start assigning covers ratings in order to "prove" my assertions.
• I had a student this past semester who looked an awful lot like this woman. She got an A-, which is pretty damned good in any class of mine.
• Graham Greene is my hero. He made so-called "genre fiction" cool in the eyes of the so-called "literary" establishment. He writes a hell of a sentence. If I could have anyone's literary career, it would be Graham Greene's. His, or John O'Hara's.
  

RP

Paperback 47: Bantam 405

Paperback 47: Bantam 405 (1st ptg, 1948)

Title: The Hucksters
Author: Frederic Wakeman
Cover artist: Bernard D'Andrea


Best things about this cover:

• The Mysterious Hand of ... The Black Man
• "Uh ... Honey, did you order room service? You know how I hate being bothered when I'm doing my Word Finds!"
• "Don't look at me. I'm just harmlessly playing with this surreal toaster/radio while trying to keep my robe shut, even though it appears I am ogling the handsome porter who has just entered our doorway."

This cover is a miniature allegory of post-war race relations in America.

RP