Paperback 962: The Case of the Smoking Chimney / Erle Stanley Gardner (Pocket Books 6014)

Paperback 962: Pocket Books 6014 (3rd ptg, 1960)

Title: The Case of the Smoking Chimney
Author: Erle Stanley Gardner
Cover artist: [Charles Binger]

Estimated value: $8-10
Condition: 9/10

Best things about this cover:

• She's got something of the saloon about her.
• Those gloves are off-the-chart hot.
• So weird how they've given the curtains that hourglass shape. Actually, the longer I stare at the whole curtain scenario, the more it starts looking like ... something else entirely.
• Text is as if written on surface of invisible floating sphere. Strange.
• Most gigantic artist signature in cover art history and Of Course it gets cut off.

Best things about this back cover:

• Ooh, I like this. It's a great, simple, quick way of visually representing the Big Red Text.
• Sideeye!
• "The story they told was clear and obvious." No need to give you details. Your brain is doing fine providing those on its own.

Page 123~

"Well, you see it's this way," Gramps explained. "I've always been interested in crime stuff."

I feel you, Gramps.

~RP

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Paperback 957: The Case of the Golddigger's Purse / Erle Stanley Gardner (Pocket Books 4505)

Paperback 957: Pocket Books 4505 (8th ptg, 1962)

Title: The Case of the Golddigger's Purse
Author: Erle Stanley Gardner
Cover artist: Robert McGinnis

Estimated value: $6-10
Condition: 8/10 (shiny and unread but mildly, uh, storage-smushed in a couple places)

Best things about this cover:

• Honestly, this is ridiculous. It looks like she's somehow killed a fancy, jewel-encrusted parrot and is preparing to devour its carcass. The bones!
• There are precisely two great things about this cover: a. orange! and b. that left shoe and whatever story lies behind its location.
• I have never seen McGinnis's talents put to poorer use. A huge Perry Mason logo, but only a teeny tiny half-shod McGinnis girl?! Priorities, man.

Best things about this back cover:

• This way to dish!
• I'm guess a guy named Harrington Faulkner doesn't work at the docks.
• Now I ain't sayin' she a goldfish-digger...
• So ... Goldfish ... that explains the color. I think.

Page 123~

With every simulation of candid surprise, Dixon raised his eyebrows.

~RP

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Paperback 955: The Way It Is / Curt Flood (Pocket Books 78188)

Paperback 955: Pocket Books 78188 (1st ptg, 1972)

Title: The Way It Is
Author: Curt Flood
Cover artist: photo cover

Estimated value: $20-30
Condition: 7/10

Best things about this cover:

• We now interrupt this cover to bring you the telekinetic powers of Curt Flood!
• It's like Curt willed the ball to stop with his mind. "If you want the game to start again, I have some ... demands."
• Curt Flood with the rarely seen Self-Photobomb!
• This cover seems both ill-conceived (you're blocking the shot!) and genius (Curt Flood will not be denied!)
• Vida Blue's intro is good. Also, Vida Blue is one of the greatest baseball names of all time.

Best things about this back cover:

• Man, people are throwing a lot of shade at Jim Bouton.
• Back when a "sensitive, artistic black man" was apparently some kind of wonder to the NYT...
• Miguel Cabrera's breakfast costs $100,000. All ballplayers should tithe to the Church of St. Flood.

Page 123~

Having established the plan unilaterally, without bargaining of any kind, they felt free to modify it at will. Above all, they felt free to keep the TV and radio money for themselves. This disturbed the players.

~RP

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Paperback 951: Skin and Bones / Thorne Smith (Pocket Books 490)

Paperback 951: Pocket Books 490 (3rd ptg, 1948)

Title: Skin and Bones
Author: Thorne Smith
Cover artist (and illus.): [Herbert Roese]

Estimated value: $not a lot
Condition: 3/10

Best things about this cover:

• Dang. I'm sure there's an innocent enough explanation for whatever is happening here, but for a late '40s cover, this is pretty ... saucy. It's like she's looking over her shoulder going, "Well, get on with it, then..." and he's trying to figure out how one removes these bloody stocking contraptions.
• I love that when I was tagging this post, the category of "all fours" already existed.
• Thorne Smith was a very big deal in the mid-century "humor" game.

Best things about this back cover:

• Frankly, this sounds amazing.
• "Hoarse, gamy laughter" is what I just emitted upon reading that phrase.
• I never noticed that the kangaroo, in this incarnation of the Pocket Books logo, kinda looks like he (!?) has a giant book erection.

Page 123~

"Sure," said the drunken mortician, growing a little tired of the Rev. Watts.

~RP

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Paperback 944: The Shadowy Third / Marco Page (Pocket Books 537)

Paperback 944: Pocket Books 537 (1st ptg, 1949)

Title: The Shadowy Third
Author: Marco Page
Cover artist: Harvey Kidder

Estimated value: a pittance
Condition: 2/10 (read to death, i.e. beautiful to me)

Best things about this cover:

• "Now *where* did I put my little dead man? I know he's around here somewhere..."
• This dude has QWD face (i.e. Quintessential White Dick). He's ... perfect / generic.
• The man above our hero's left ear is either playing "got-your-nose!" or putting that guy's eye out with a lit cigarette. Choose a scenario to fit your mood!
• P.S. a violin

Best things about this back cover:

• "Oh, no! Not Igor *Krassin*!" I exclaimed, reflexively.
• "What kind of knife was it, Doc?" "Thin. It was thin. It's a technical term. I don't expect you to understand."
• It took more than a game of eeny-meeny-miney-mo to finger the killer. You also had to buy him a drink first.

Page 123~

"All right, if that's how you want it. I trusted you, Calder, I gave you every break so you could grab a fee on that violin. You're turning out to be a heel."

I love hardboiled man-feelings drama. "After all I've done for you, couldn't you just once hold me and tell me I'm pretty, Calder, you heel!"

~RP

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Paperback 942: Q.B.I. / Ellery Queen (Pocket Books 1118)

Paperback 942: Pocket Books 1118 (1st ptg, 1956)

Title: Q.B.I.
Author: Ellery Queen
Cover design: Milton Herder

Estimated value: $5-8
Condition: 5/10

Best things about this cover:

• It's like the F.B.I. but queer. I imagine.
• This cover wins awards for "Most Visible Thumbprint" and "Best Kempt Cilia"
• Where can I get one of these switchblade micro-monocles? Judging by this guy's pupil dilation, they seem fun.

Best things about this back cover:

• Type script is best.
• No Nouns Allowed Without Adjectival Guardian
• Kid Naping. That word *never* looks right to me.

Page 123~ (first line of "Dying Message Dept.: G. I. Story")

Ellery swung off the Atlantic State Express in his favorite small town disguised by earlaps, muffler, and skis, resolved that this time nothing should thwart his winter holiday.

You'll Never Guess What Happens Next! (spoiler: holiday thwarted)

~RP

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Paperback 929: You Can Die Laughing / A. A. Fair (Pocket Books 45004)

Paperback 929: Pocket Books 45004 (2nd ptg, 1964)

Title: You Can Die Laughing
Author: A.A. Fair (Erle Stanley Gardner)
Cover artist: photo cover

Estimated value: $5-10

Best things about this cover:

• Yeah, well you can go *$&%^ yourself with this terrible cover, Pocket Books.
• Fully painted covers cost money. This ... doesn't.
• What the hell kind of mask is that? It doesn't even make sense as a decorative mask, as it's ugly as hell. Honestly, I think this "concept" came together in like 30 seconds. Nothing about it makes sense. It is not funny, or creepy, or anything. It is a non-cover. I'm mad at myself for buying this, for any amount of money.

Best things about this back cover:

• Hey there, exclamation point. How you doin'...? You've, uh .... filled out since last I saw you.
• "A figure like one of the babes in the comic strips!" That is a new frame of reference. "Mmm, I really dig her comical proportions and two-dimensionality." 
• Gender-coded font colors! This has been: Great Moments in Reactionary Design ...

Page 123~

Bertha's temper visibly began to rise. "There are times when I could take this paper knife and cut your throat from ear to ear, Donald Lam! What the hell do you mean you rented her?"

Not sure a knife made of paper is going to do much, Bertha. Just punch him in the face. No one will mind.

~RP

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Paperback 928: Murder Up My Sleeve / Erle Stanley Gardner (Pocket Books 4503)

Paperback 928: Pocket Books 4503 (1st ptg, 1962)

Title: Murder Up My Sleeve
Author: Erle Stanley Gardner
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $10-12 (condition = perfect)

Best things about this cover:

• The best-selling follow-up to "Larceny Down My Pants"
• Wow, that dude's magic carpet ride appears to have gone terribly, horribly wrong
• "Hi, I'm here for the 'Yoga for Mourners' class ... my, that's quite a convincing Corpse Pose you've got there."
• This cover is terrible. It has two good things about it: orange, and title font. The rest is a sketchbook, at best.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Hey, what if, instead of an orange rectangle, we go with, like, a jagged ... orange rectangle?" "Brilliant!"
• More great font action.
• Sleeve gun? Ohhhhhhh, now I get it. Murder up my SLEEVE. Good one. Much better than "Dartgun up My Sleeve." Wordplay!

Page 123~

"Mix the highballs, stupid."

~RP

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Paperback 921: Nine and Death Makes Ten / Carter Dickson (Pocket Books 335)

Paperback 921: Pocket Books 335 (2nd ptg, 1946)

Title: Nine and Death Makes Ten
Author: Carter Dickson
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $12-17 (condition: stunning, unread)

Best things about this cover:

• Amazing Moon-Skull almost makes up for terrible, awkward title that sounds like somebody counting change.
• Somehow, the cursive-script author name following the contours of the cranium reads Adorable. Rules of Pictorial Menace, #28—never make your death skull wear a cute word hat!
• This book is in near-perfect condition. Slight fraying of the perma-gloss is the only sign of wear. Bright and tight and shiny, like it wasn't anywhere close to 70 bleeping years old!

Best things about this back cover:

• Again with the problematic naming. Good luck stopping me laughing with a ship name like "Edwardic!"
• "Douse that light!" sounds like the title of an Edwardian rap anthem.
• I shared this book with my UPS guy. I hope that was OK.

Page 123~

"I want you to stop actin' the fool," continued H.M., calmly sighting with another quoit ... 

Carter Dickson is not wasting all those hours of nautical terminology research, so suck it up, landlubbers.

~RP

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Paperback 914: Enter the Saint / Leslie Charteris (Pocket Books 257)

Paperback 914: Pocket Books 257 (1st ptg, 1944)

Title: Enter the Saint
Author: Leslie Charteris
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $8-12

Best things about this cover:

• Strike a pose.
• The Pocket Books logo went through a lot of versions in the early years. This is one of the more adorable variants.
• I know remarkably little about the Saint, except he was played by Roger Moore on television. There were reruns in syndication on TV when I was a kid. I don't remember a damn thing about them. I had no idea he was known as "The Robin Hood of Modern Crime." I just thought he was a charming cut-rate Bond.

Best things about this back cover.

• It's weird how (relatively) quickly "gay" lost its non-sexual connotation. I was reading "Cotton Comes to Harlem" this week, and Cotton Ed and Grave Digger talk about wanting to get gay, i.e. go out, drink, have fun ... you know: have a gay old time. I wonder when that meaning essentially died, because it has died hard.
• Meet Snake Ganning ... Jane, his wife!
• Piratical!
• This is a war-time book (1944). Pocket Books' whole "Send this book to a boy in the armed forces" thing was a genius marketing strategy. Together with the Armed Services Editions of cheap books, Pocket Books was helping cultivate a huge paperback-buying market for the post-war era.

Page 123~

The removal of the "dope bird" to a quiet cellar where a ruthless interrogation could proceed without interruption.

A sentence ominous in its incompleteness as well as its all-too-common anti-avian rhetoric.

~RP

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Paperback 892: Dark Laughter / Sherwood Anderson (Pocket Books 878)

Paperbacks 892: Pocket Books 878 (1st ptg, 1952)

Title: Dark Laughter
Author: Sherwood Anderson
Cover artist: Tom Dunn

Estimated value: $15-20

Best things about this cover:

• Her expression is somehow both lascivious and bored. It says "You … sure, you'll do."
• Maybe if you angle your boobs toward him just a little bit more, Lady Chatterley, he'll get the hint.
• The husband … is one of my favorite cover elements of all time. Without him, you've got a pretty typical paperback cover. With him, and his ham-sized pate and his spectacles and his "can't talk, reading" and his vibrant, shlubby boredom, this cover skyrockets to comedy. "What? Sure, fuck him, don't fuck him, whatever. I gotta check my stocks…"
• Reader Michael 5000 sent me this book. Since I hardly ever check my mail at school, I didn't discover this book until very recently. I had, very, very weirdly and coincidentally, checked out Sherwood Anderson's Winesburg, Ohio that same week. Anyway, Michael sent along a nifty postcard with its own spot-on commentary:

And the back cover:


Best things about this back cover:

• Who wrote that tagline, Douglas Sirk?
• Not "love as few men have ever loved," but "love as few men ever have time to love"—like that's the issue. "Damn my 6pm squash game! I could be LOVING right now, but nooooo…"
• "… when she saw Bruce Dudley  she knew physical desire for the first time." Uh … I challenge. That is simply not a plausible statement.

Page 123~

Being in Rose's apartment that night was, for all the people who had been there, a good deal like walking into a bedroom in which a woman lies naked. They had all felt that.

I really, really wish I … knew what the hell this meant.

~RP

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Paperback 877: The Great Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe / Edgar Allan Poe (Pocket Books 39)

Paperback 877: Pocket Books 39 (1st ptg, 1940)

Title: The Great Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe
Author: Edgar Allan Poe
Cover artist: Uncredited [signature = Frye?]

Estimated value: $5-8

Best things about this cover:

• I like to imagine the cat is drunk and smoking.
• There's almost too much going on on this cover, but I love the whimsical font fest, and the odd color combo, orange fading into a background of steel blue.
• Cover doesn't really convey "horror," though … unless you count the puddle of vomit where they've positioned the cat, quill, and mask. Pretty gross.
• This book is Beat To Hell—it's my reading copy of Poe—but it's a testament to the quality of the earliest mass-market paperbacks (January 1940! Pocket was less than a year old!). Solid, square, supple, no loose pages. 

Best things about this back cover:

• Master Spider!
• "Effects" (so-called)
• I do like the bespectacled joey-free icon, though that one-volume OED is in danger of causing some grotesque pouch disfigurement.

Page 123~ (from "A Descent into the Maelström")

Twice during six years we were forced to stay all night at anchor on account of a dead calm, which is a rare thing indeed just about here; and once we had to remain on the grounds nearly a week, starving to death, owing to a gale which blew up shortly after our arrival, and made the channel too boisterous to be thought of.

~RP

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Paperback 867: The Dutch Shoe Mystery / Ellery Queen (Pocket Books 2202)

Paperback 867: Pocket Books 2202 (11th ptg, 1958)

Title: The Dutch Shoe Mystery
Author: Ellery Queen
Cover artist: Jerry Allison

Estimated value: $10-15

Best things about this cover:

• This cover says a lot of things, but one of the things it does *not* say is "Dutch Shoe."
• "But she could be number! NUMBER!"
• Pretty sure that's not a regulation police hold—at least not with gun drawn. Does look cool, though.

Best things about this back cover:

• Ooh, signed by quote-unquote Ellery Queen. How elegant.
• "The patient was rich Abigail Doorn, whose money ran the hospital." Yeah, see, you would never introduce anyone "rich so-and-so," and also "whose money ran the hospital" kind of covers that.
• Also maybe don't put "more than life-size portrait of a heroic doctor" next to a super-tiny portrait of a doctor.

Page 123~

Djuna leaped out of his kitchen at the shrill br-r-ring of the telephone bell. "For you, Dad Queen."

I really, really want to believe that a Dad Queen is some kind of sex thing. Something men named "Djuna" would be in to. Please don't shatter my illusions, thanks.

~RP

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Paperback 852: The Astronaut / Hank Searls (Pocket Books 6093)

Paperback 852: Pocket Books 6093 (PBO, 1962)

Title: The Astronaut
Author: Hank Searls
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $5-10

Donation to the collection from The Second Reader Bookshop (Buffalo, NY)


Best things about this cover:

• It's the touching story of a lonely Stormtrooper and his inflatable girlfriend…
• If you're gonna fall to your death, may as well go out ogling bikini-clad blondes.
• This must be just before he captures her and puts her in a bottle and makes her wear pajamas all day long.
• The design here is actually spectacular. It's got that wackadoodle '60s vibe. Nice incorporation of the letter "O" into the spacesuit design. Stars in her eyes are a little cheesy / spot-on, but her little green bikini makes a nice visual impact, and the overall sun-drenchedness of the thing is a nice counterbalance to my mostly Dark cover collection.

Best things about this back cover:

• The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat, Literally.
• "You down with M.P.P.?" ("M.S. Ph.D.!")
• Whoa, "hanky-panky at the motel"!? Tell me more. Seriously, if it happens at motels, I need to know.
• Project Head? Really? No one batted an eyelash at that? OK, then, '60s, carry on …

Page 123~

Straight in front of him were the retro-rocket controls, welded immovably in place so that the chimp could not override ground control.

Chimps? It's got chimps? Talk about burying the lede…

~RP

P.S. Many thanks to John from The Second Reader Bookshop in Buffalo, NY, who reads my crossword blog and responded to my fund-raising drive there with a donation of books for here. Two more coming later this week.

P.P.S. John also sent me this postcard, which … well, if you all won't appreciate it, I don't know who will:

[Miss Lube Rack]

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Paperback 849: Warrant for X / Philip MacDonald (Pocket Books 328)

Paperback 849: Pocket Books 328 (1st ptg, 1945)

Title: Warrant for X
Author: Philip MacDonald
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $10-15


Best things about this cover:

• "Light, damn you! Stupid modern, flame retardant bodies! I want s'mores now!"
• By far the fanciest lamppost you're likely to see on any of my covers.
• I genuinely love how the body spills out of frame. And the color scheme. And the "X".

Best things about this back cover:

• "Kidnapping!" is pretty anti-climactic. "Cannibalism!" was about what I was expecting with that build-up.
• They used to tell you how much it would cost to ship the book to a soldier overseas. Now it's just "Share it with anyone in a uniform, don't ask us what it costs, how should we know?" I hope people gave books to their diner waitresses.

Page 123~

He said: "I'm a busy man. Great matters hang upon my every word and action." He drank coffee. "I might justly be likened to the spider."

Though not lacking in confidence, Anthony was still working on his metaphor skills.

~RP

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Paperback 846: Bachelors Get Lonely / Erle Stanley Gardner (Pocket Books 4604)

Paperback 846: Pocket Books 4604 (1st ptg, 1963)

Title: Bachelors Get Lonely
Author: A.A. Fair (Erle Stanley Gardner)
Cover artist: photo cover

Estimated value: $10-15


Best things about this cover:

• I can confirm the basic premise of this title.
• I find this cover oddly sexy, if wildly implausible.
• Pink. I dig it. At least it's different.

Best things about this back cover:

• You had me at "Stripper Daffidill (sic!?) Lawson"
• What an odd photo choice. Random stock photo, faded and blued.
• Lam's pretty light-hearted for someone trying to catch a murderous voyeur.
• "Swell."

Page 123~

"The walls are terribly thin," she whispered. "People will know that … that I'm having a visitor."

~RP

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Paperback 829: Up Above the World / Paul Bowles (Pocket Books 75222)

Paperback 829: Pocket Books 75222 (1st ptg, 1968)

Title: Up Above the World
Author: Paul Bowles
Cover artist: Harry Bennett

Estimated Value: $9


Best things about this cover:

• Ooh, I love legitimate fiction. So classy.
• Swamp glove monkey scarf something something.
• Attempt to break most obscure Guinness World Record goes horribly, unspeakably wrong.
• There was a brief, terrible period in the '60s where cover artist just mashed all pictorial elements together into ugly globs.

Best things about this back cover:

• Paul Bowles! That name again … Paul Bowles! Thanks, boring cover.
• "… with mere strokes of words" (so *that's* how writing works)
• I want to change "gifts" to "cocks" in that last blurb. Just 'cause.

Page 123~

She hesitated and took a sip of coffee. "But what have we got in common?"

~RP

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Paperback 794: Buffalo Bill / Shannon Garst (Pocket Book Jr. J-48)

Paperback 794: Pocket Books Jr. J-48 (2nd ptg, 1955)

Title: Buffalo Bill
Author: Shannon Garst
Cover artist (and illus.): Louis Glanzman

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• Bed hat.
• Three keys to killing Indians: big-ass hands, mustache wax, and fringe for miles.
• This is a pretty bad cover—a portrait-studio picture mapped onto a generic, over-bright backdrop filled with a montage of tiny, generic "action" scenes.

Best things about this back cover:

• Thanks for the buffalo-killing, dick weed.
• William F. Cody met danger early. Then he had lunch, took a nap, and went to Pilates.
• I like Yellow Hand because it sounds like a 19c. name for a nefarious Chinese criminal organization, rather than what it is—a mistranslation of Yellow Hair, a Cheyenne warrior Cody shot and scalped. "Ever the showman, Buffalo Bill returned to the stage […] his show highlighted by a melodramatic reenactment of his duel with Yellow Hair. He displayed the fallen warrior's scalp, feather war bonnet, knife, saddle and other personal effects" (wikipedia). Again, I say, dick-weed.

Page 123~

The redskins knew the country and were as hard to hunt down as the wild animals of the forest.

Everything you need to know about American attitudes toward Native Americans in one short sentence. (cc Dan Snyder)

~RP

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Paperback 789: Having Wonderful Crime / Craig Rice (Pocket Books 289)

Paperback 789: Pocket Books 289 (1st ptg, 1945)

Title: Having Wonderful Crime
Author: Craig Rice
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $7


Best things about this cover:

• Bubbles! Wait, why are the martinis bubbling? Please don't say "that's champagne" because those are not champagne glasses.
• Also, stars! Because … because!
• I feel like Nick and Nora Charles are *just* out of frame.

Best things about this back cover:

• Wait, does that say "decapitated bride"? That's pretty gruesome for a 1940s crime comedy.
• Ha ha scare-quote *burn* on "free" verse.
• This book actually sounds kind of awesome.

Page 123~

"Yes, but the thing is," the medical examiner said again, "where is the other body, and where is the other head?"

My favorite part of that quotation is "again."

~RP

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Paperback 783: The New Pocket Quiz Book / Slifer & Crittenden (Pocket Books 255)

Paperback 783: Pocket Books 255 (1st ptg, 1943)

Title: The New Pocket Quiz Book
Authors: Rosejeanne Slifer and Louise Crittenden
Cover artist: I doubt it

Yours for: $8


Best things about this cover:

• Well … is it the New Pocket Quiz Book or not?? Do I have to guess? I guess Yes.
• Why don't these ladies get their first names on the cover? I BLAME THE PATRIARCHY!
• If you enjoy WWII-era trivia, this is the book for you. Question: "In flying, which is the stronger tendency, to climb or to dive?" I would've thought that depended on your mood / sanity. Interesting.

Best things about this back cover:

• I like this cover's predilection for lively phrases like "Bone up!" and "Quiz-whiz!"
• "Do not under any circumstances send this to a girl in the armed forces. Anywhere."
• I don't remember seeing this exact Pocket Books logo before. The joey acts as a kind of book stand. Levenger should be all over that.

Page 123~

Who ran and ran and ran but never became president?

Answer: Jesse Owens

~RP

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