Paperback 758: Beyond Eden / David Duncan (Ballantine 102)

Paperback 758: Ballantine Books 102 (PBO, 1955)

Title: Beyond Eden
Author: David Duncan
Cover artist: Richard Powers

Yours for: $15


Best things about this cover:

• "I see the source of life itself—there! Beyond Eden. Eden … hey Eden … *EDEN*, would you get your giant body out of the way so we can see the damned source of life itself!?" 
• Eden looks like giant space actress who has forgotten her line.
• Richard Powers is the king of interplanetary fever dreams and wackadoodle future machines. My favorite scifi/fantasy cover artist (even if this isn't exactly his best work) (with respect to Valigursky, Emshwiller, etc.).

Best things about this back cover:

• Living Water ™ —part of the Coca-Cola family of horror beverages
• Excellent back cover art by somebody's 13-month-old niece.
• If the "man" and the "woman" had names, this cover might be milligrams sexier.

Page 123~

Spectralium grew rapidly in Gayley's pilot tank.

That is some grade-A space porn right there.

~RP

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Paperback 686: No Limits / ed. Joseph W. Ferman (Ballantine U2220)

Paperback 686: Ballantine Books U2220 (PBO, 1964)

Title: No Limits
Editor: Joseph W. Ferman
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $8


Best things about this cover:

• OK, it's not scintillating or sexy, but it's got a preposterous, "Jetsons"-like quality to it that I like.
• Remember when the future was going to be Awesome!? This cover does.
• I like how some of these bridges make sense (with arched, actual bridge-like structure) and others look like loopy whimsical structures that would snap in a strong wind.
• I used to have a Leigh Brackett obsession. I may have it again. She wrote a lot, in a lot of genres, and a lot of it very, very good.  But, with apologies to Asimov fans, Sturgeon is the greatest name on this list.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Acidulous"! Be still my heart.
• I wish I were named "Robert Conquest." I feel as if, with that name, I could do anything.
• The decorative band in the middle of this back cover is odd and pretty.

Page 123~

from "And Then She Found Him" by Algis Budrys

"I'm sorry, Frank," Deerbush said. He stepped back, holding one of Vi's wrists now, and with the other hand he hit Stannard hard on the jaw. As Stannard fell down, Vi began to scream.

~RP

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Paperback 645: Tarzan of the Apes / Edgar Rice Burroughs (Ballantine Books U2001)

Paperback 645: Ballantine U2001 (3rd ptg / 1st thus, 1966)

Title: Tarzan of the Apes
Author: Edgar Rice Burroughs
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $8


Best things about this cover:

• Ron Ely ponders the bright vista of his career. 
• Ron Ely feels very good about Ron Ely's tree-climbing abilities. Ron Ely starting to believe this Tarzan thing may work out after all. Ron Ely is going to rub it in mom's face first chance he gets.
• Seriously, something is not right up in Ron Ely's brain.
• If this is Ron Ely's most Tarzanesque pose ... I mean, to whom are they selling this book? You could retitle this "Summer in the Woods" or "My First Time" or "Beefcake Palace" and you wouldn't have to change the picture one bit.
• Ron Ely is quite satisfied with Ron Ely's body. Ron Ely's workouts really paid off.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Uncut"—Yes, that could also be the title of a book with this cover.
• "Color television show"!? Wow. I think they prefer to be called "television shows of color." The '60s were so racist.

Page 123~

"Look at dem low down white trash out dere!" she shrilled, pointing toward the Arrow. "They-all's a desecratin' us, right yere on dis yere perverted islan'."

I think "Tarzan" actually came on right before "Dis Yere Perverted Islan'" ("... with Gilligan ... the Skipper too ...")

~RP

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Paperback 578: False Witness / Helen Nielsen (Ballantine U2150)

Paperback 578: Ballantine Books U2150 (2nd ptg, 1966)

Title: False Witness
Author: Helen Nielsen
Cover artist: [illegible]

Yours for: $10

Best things about this cover:

• When Drapery Attacks!
• I give up; what the hell am I looking at? Looks like a Cirque de Soleil act gone very, very wrong.
• That dude's like, "Uh ... Can you help me? I think I'm supposed to be on a different cover?"

Best things about this back cover:

• Why would you emphasize words that mean nothing to a potential reader? "'RANDOM NAME!'!? Ooh, this looks good..."
• This description is very, very confusing. I really lost track of things at "foreigners."
• Looks like strange photographs of roses were a big thing in late '60s cover design.

Page 123~

I didn't comment. The silence was ominous enough without confusing it with words I couldn't prove. 

Sometimes you just gotta shut up and enjoy the ominousness.

~RP

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Paperback 562: Summer Street / Hal Ellson (Ballantine Books 27)

Paperback 562: Ballantine Books 27 (PBO, 1953)

Title: Summer Street
Author: Hal Ellson
Cover artist: Robert Maguire

Yours for: $12

Best things about this cover:

• "Aw, gee whiz, Summer. I didn't know this was your street. OK, OK, I'll leave. Golly, it's gettin' so's a fella can't practice his Fonzie poses nowheres!"
• "Aw, gee whiz, it's Miss McGillicuddy. Now she's gonna know I'm playin' hooky. OK, Billy, c'mon, get it together. Just play it cool. No eye contact. Stare broodingly into the distance and she'll just walk on by ..."
• "Billy, get back in the house. Your dungarees need washing."
• I believe "emotional awakening" is '50s code for "awkward, furtive sexual experiences."
• "SHE ... was an angel in lime green chiffon. HE ... was a telepath who could move trash cans with his mind. Together, they ruled ... Summer Street!"
• The great Bob Maguire! This cover is from his ... lesser period.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Well, go on. You said you'd die for me, so ... don't just sit there. Here, I'll give you a push. 1, 2, 3 ..."
• "The water sure is murky, Gloria. Murky like our hearts on account of we're star-crossed but I'm from the wrong side of the..." "Shut up, Billy. You gonna jump or what?"
• "His mother's confining affection..." — uh oh. "Mom, I need a real girl. One I'm not related to."
• I can't believe this cover doesn't tell us the book is "frank." "Unusual honesty and understanding" is sooooo something a "frank" story would contain.

Page 123~

In another moment she would fling herself upon him if he did not read the note. He lowered his eyes and found he had guessed right, though the message was not worded as expected. Simply and directly, it said: "Do you want to? Yes or no?"

Long story short—he does want to, and there follows one of those 1950s sex scenes that is all indirection and euphemism, all "avalanche of fire" and "plunging creature" and "swelling within himself" and "tremendous surge as if all that was himself had burst." The best part is that he comes first, but she won't stop until she comes too, so of course: "It was then that fear enveloped him again." No wonder he has that traumatized look on his face. "My genitals and I need some time alone, Miss McGillicuddy."

~RP

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Paperback 535: Things With Claws / Edited by White and Hallie Burnett (Ballantine 466K)

Paperback 535: Ballantine 466K (PBO, 1961)

Title: Things With Claws
Editors: Whit & Hallie Burnett
Cover artist: Richard Powers

Yours for: $11


Best things about this cover:

• I like titles that could also be answers in the final round of "$100,000 Pyramid": "Cats ... bears ... uh ... handless supervillains..."
• I am guessing that this artist is Richard Powers, only 'cause it seems so aggressively Powersy. It's like Miro and the guy who did the "Fear & Loathing" drawings had a baby in outer space. LOVE all the variations on claws in this painting.
• They really had to break "creatures" there? Right there? Couldn't, I don't know, reformat ever-so-slightly? Kind of kills the impact.

Best things about this back cover:

• Oh, the "famous" Stuart CLOETE, the "legendary" ORESTE F. Pucciani. Trust me, if these folks were truly famous, they'd be in every crossword I ever made for the rest of my life.
• "... and females." Hence the pink.
• See what harm / good covers can do!? "The Doll Maker" looks like the stupidest book ever, while "Zacherley's Vulture Stew" looks like the cover model for God's Own Catalogue of Awesome.

Page 123~

from "Return of the Griffins" by A. E. Sandeling

"You've been away several years," said Gunar, covering his bare feet again with shoes and socks. "What did you do in the time?"

"Took ourselves to the mountains of India," replied the griffin. "Sat in the sun, on the threshold of our calves, or caught the Arimaspi, one-eyed men who seek gold in the mountains, ate them in a shrugging fashion, already gorged with our prowess. I might ask the same question of you. What didn't you do? By Apollo! Procreated not individuals but nations. Took the lid off a water kettle, and what steams out but ships and cities. Times have changed."

So eating the Arimaspi is like eating at Chili's—"Meh. [shrug] It'll do."

~RP

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Paperback 487: The Shocking History of Advertising / E.S. Turner (Ballantine F 403 K)

Paperback 487: Ballantine Books F 403 K (1st ptg, 1960)

Title: The Shocking History of Advertising
Author: E.S. Turner
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• The Shocking History Of Fonts!
• What "tragic ailment" does the "Other Tragic Ailments" guy have? Besides the zits he has picked at, necessitating all the little bits of toilet tissue? I'm going to guess Massive Bald Oval Head Syndrome (MBOHS).
• I'd be surprised if Dr. Scott's Electric Corset didn't sell by the truckload. I mean, look at that lady. That corset is clearly rocking her "vital organs" big time. I doubt it's a coincidence that "organs" looks a lot like "orgasm," and that the word is running right up her leg.
• I want a T-shirt with that smoking rabbit head on it.

Best things about this back cover:

• Blah blah blah too much text too many colors my head hurts. 
• The integrated plug!? Sounds like an accessory for Dr. Scott's Electric Corset (plug sold separately).

Page 123~

Some excessively prudish criticisms of posters were voiced during this period. It is on record that even the Bovril bull was condemned by the town of Cork for the reason that it was too obviously a bull.

And thus I leave you with the image of massive bull schlong. You're welcome.

~RP

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Paperback 374: The Making of Star Trek / Stephen E. Whitfield & Gene Roddenberry (Ballantine 73004)

Paperback 374: Ballantine Books 73004 (PBO, 1968)

Title: The Making of Star Trek
Authors: Stephen E. Whitfield & Gene Roddenberry
Cover artist: photos

Yours for: [SOLD! 12-5-10]


Best things about this cover:

• If I were a Star Trek fan, I would be geeking out so hard over this very cool paperback original
• That Enterprise is absurdly model-kit-looking in this photo. Maybe that's the point? "How it works!—we make cheap-ass models and use trick photography, suckers."
• Further, "How it works"? I like how it implies that the tech is real.
• Those are two handsome spacemen.

Best things about this back cover:

• A "biography" of a TV show! Printed while said show was still on the air. Pretty visionary / ballsy.
• Seriously, this back cover isn't lying. This book is Thick and chock full of photos, internal memos, a miniature episode guide, and a chapter entitled "Whither Star Trek?"! Oh, and whoever owned this book originally was a megageek, as there are tiny clipped-out TV Guide epsiode summaries taped and/or paperclipped into the episode guide section. Also, this section is annotated in some kind of code.

Page 123~

When the first screening was over, the general reaction from the people in the room was, "This is the most fantastic thing we've ever seen."

~RP

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57 Books from the University Book Sale: Book 28

First, an announcement. The winner of "The Secret of Sylvia" (as determined by random.org) is ... MARLA! Send me your address and I'll get the book out to you ASAP.

Now, onto a new book!

Title: Pastoral (Ballantine X757, 1963)
Author: Nevil Shute
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $5 (free if your hair is shaped like a massive sideways comma)

• "I promise — I will return with the cure for Wedge Head. And then ... I Will Find You!"
• I got nothing else. Her hair is the only reason I noticed this book at all.
• "Urgent, tender and strong" is making me giggle a little

• Happy 110th birthday, Nevil Shute!

Page 123~

The Dane smiled ruefully.

Honestly, one of my favorite "Page 123" quotes in a long time

~RP

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Paperback 178: The Curious Facts Preceding My Execution / Donald Westlake (Ballantine 3307)

Paperback 178: Ballantine 3307 (1st ptg, 1973)

Title: The Curious Facts Preceding My Execution
Author: Donald Westlake
Cover artist: photo cover

Yours for: $22


Best things about this cover:

• "The Curious Crap I Found In My Closet"
• This is in contention for the single ugliest cover in my collection. Exhibit A: Mustard. Exhibit B: a mass of objects pulled in one lump from the bottom of some (crazy) lady's storage chest. Case closed.
• Somehow the wig makes the whole object lump much, much worse. Who thought this was artful!?
  
• And yet, while ugly, this is also a very memorable cover. Indelibility: The Up-Side of Ugly.
• That is a stubbed out cigar in the middle of the rubber mask's forehead. There's also a wig, a diamond necklace, three guns, and a blue thing (gum wrapper?)

Best things about this back cover:

• "a-burgling"

Page 123~

From "Never Shake a Family Tree"

"Ah," he said. "Forgive my telephoning, please, Mrs. Buckley. We have never met, but I noticed your entry in the current issue of Genealogical Exchange -"

~RP

Paperback 103: Jimmy the Kid / Donald E. Westlake (Ballantine 24650)

Paperback 103: Ballantine 24650 (1st ptg, 1976)
Title: Jimmy the Kid
Author: Donald E. Westlake
Cover artist: Robert Grossman (if I'm reading that signature correctly)

Yours for: $17


Best things about this cover:

• Originality. My collection pretty much stops in the late 60s, but there's another ten years in there where cover art / design still shows some creativity and sparkle. I love this cover, in that I can imagine the characters of all the people just by the way they are drawn. I want to know more about them. I want to know why Mickey lost his eye. I want to know why Ronald Reagan and Shelley Duvall are about to knock over an amusement park concession stand. I want to know what Woody Allen is reading. I want to know.
• Donald Westlake is a sensational writer with great comic timing, but his books have never been made into good movies, which seems not only a shame, but a surprise. His books are vivid, action-packed, and they read like scripts. The guy wrote the Oscar-nominated script for "The Grifters," so he knows dialogue. I just don't understand why Hollywood has (mostly) either ignored or botched him. Actually, "The Hot Rock" was pretty good, and "Point Blank" was great, but those are both 35+ years ago now.

PAGE 123~

(It was during that statement of the woman's that the head FBI man had extended toward Harrington a slip of paper containing the penciled words, "Tell her to prove it.")
"Um. Prove it."
"What?"
"I said, prove it."
"Prove what? That I'm gonna call you again?"
(During which, the head FBI man had been with great exaggeration mouthing the sentence, "That they have the kid!")

~RP

Paperback 49: Ballantine 236

Paperback 49: Ballantine 236 (PBO, 1957)

Title: Gunsmoke
Author: Don Ward
Cover artist: photo cover


Best things about this cover

• "I Was A Sunburned Frankenstein"
• Wow, colorization could really wreak havoc with your skin back then. Marshal Dillon looks like he just completed an overly lengthy stint at the tanning salon. You live in the DESERT, Marshal. Just walking around outside should give you all the color you need.
• I'm not sure this cover could be less interesting if it tried. "I am ... walking toward you ... I am huge ... that is all."
• Love the CBS "Eye"

Best things about this back cover

• Copy writer should be fired - you don't open your promo with the passive voice, for god's sake.
• Further, of course it "is remembered." If I'm reading this book in 1957, then I "remember" it from Last Night, When It Was On.
• "Movie goers" is two words now? Walker Percy's not going to like that one bit.

RP