Paperback 566: Sin's Child / Tony Calvano (Sundown Reader 619)

Paperback 566: Sundown Reader 619 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Sin's Child
Author: Tony Calvano
Cover artist: No idea

Yours for: $20

Best things about this cover:

• I love boobs as much as the next guy (or gal), but those things are horrifying. Massively dimorphic and nipple-less and two-toned. Actually, I could probably acclimate to the boobs if I could get past the face, which is an interesting combination of ashen, drunk and judgey: "Chyaaaa ... you guys call that 'shirtless fighting'? I'll show ya shirtless fighting ... just lemme pull my underwears out of my crack and I'll shows you guys ... [burp] ..."
• "Your Warrior 3 pose sucks, maggot! Hiiiiya!"
• "Yeah, yeah, you can fly, Bill, I get it. Could you just, I dunno, fly *that* way ... away from me. I gotta go rescue Suzy."

Best things about this back cover:

• Answering the question: what causes shamelessness?
• "OK, I can care for you, but ... well, I gotta take you somewhere, and you're not gonna like it."
• Face of Evil. Yes. That is an apt description of what I witnessed on the front cover.

Page 123~

"When two people are in love, when they've committed themselves to each other ... Nothing they do in the name of that love is wrong ... there is no such thing as perversion. If it strengthens that love, if it enhances the final ecstasy of that love ... Can you understand that, angel?"
"I think so. Only ..."
"No qualifications, kitten. Either you accept the whole package [!] or you don't. What do you say?"

I'm somehow imagining this happening on a game show stage, with the audience shouting variations on "Take the package!" or "Noooooooooooooooooo!"

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

P.S. many thanks to Doug Peterson for continuing to send me nutso stuff like this...

Paperback 437: Substitute Sinners / John Dexter (Sundown Reader 614)

Paperback 437: Sundown Reader SR614 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Substitute Sinners
Author: John Dexter
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $20


Best things about this cover:

• From the author who brought you the klassic "A Thousand Beds" (1967) comes ... this!
  
• "Your regular sinner is out today. I'm your substitute sinner: Charlene."
• Her hair = mastodon tusks
• Love the admiring grin on Joe Handsome Pool.
• So you just walk around holding that towel in place all day?
• Joe emerges from his private pool forest while Angela executes a perfect head-first slide into third base and Charlene holds a tutorial in obi-tying. This is an eclectic and talented bunch. Who knew Esalen could be such fun?

Best things about this back cover:

• I really want to know whose job it was to tourettically shout out pseudo-sexual nonsense phrases for these BOLD! ital. BOLD! back covers. I should have a special tag just for this type of cover. Too bad there's not a Nobel Prize for Unintentionally Goofy Sex Poetry.
• "No one can outfox me from my sex ambush," bragged Chick, nonsensically.

Page 123~

"Suppose I had you hypnotized, gave you a gun, and told you to shoot George. Ninety-nine times out of one hundred, you would refuse the command and either wake up or remain asleep without any action. But if I told you George was a ravenous grizzly bear about to attack you and you family, you would shoot the hell out of him."

At this point, George, who had come to this retreat solely for the promise of outdoor naked hot-tubbing, became understandably worried.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]