Paperback 900: Outlaw Guns / E.E. Halleran (Avon 522)

Paperback 900!!!!!!!!!!: Avon 522 (2nd ptg / 1st thus, 1953)

Title: Outlaw Guns
Author: E.E. Halleran
Cover artist: Bill Randall

Estimated value: $10-14

Best things about this cover:

• I call this one "Rampant Horses On Yellow Background For Some Reason"
• Beardy's all "Oh, 'Outlaw Guns' ... I get it now! Yuck yuck yuck .... boobs."
• She has insane murdery dead-eyed vacant 1000-yard stare.
• Bitch eyebrows? Bitch eyebrows.
• This cover is terribly ill-conceived. *She* seems ready to go, right out of the box, but everything else (except the wicked awesome wood font and Beardy's mug!) is a total mess.

Best things about this back cover:

• He looks less like a bandit and more like a guy protecting himself from a smell.
• Still, that sketch is pretty cool. Love the cute yellow inset.
• Well, of course, if you're gonna have "Outlaw Guns," you gotta have Outlaw Bullets. Otherwise you're just running around waving your guns going "pew! pew!"
• "Pronto!"

Page 123~

"Don't jam the chute," Frazer warned him.

Good advice.

~RP

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Paperback 842: The Captive Women / Walter D. Edmonds (Bantam 708)

Paperback 842: Bantam 708 (3rd ptg, 1950)

Title: The Captive Women
Author: Walter D. Edmonds
Cover artist: Denver Gillen

Estimated Value: $8


Best things about this cover:

• Something about "Squat-o" there gives the whole cover a wacky feel. Like this is going to be some kind of domestic comedy. I'm pretty sure he's saying "What is it with dames these days, Fred!?"
• Fred is nodding knowingly. "I know, man. My captive woman keeps maxing out my credit card. I'm like, 'Damn, babe, how many damn pairs of moccasins do you need?'"
• What is Fred gripping? Is it a gun? If so, follow-up: how long were guns back then?

Best things about this back cover:

• $8.64 with tax.
• This is called "The Captive Women" because "Delia's Gone" was taken.
• Does the relative handsomeness of the "buck" mitigate the slavery somehow? I would've guessed 'no.'

Page 123~

While they slept the woman and the girl went through their packs, exclaiming at the worn out moccasins and the mending to be done and showing each other the best pelts.

Fred was right, man. These broads are crazy for moccasins.

~RP

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Paperback 794: Buffalo Bill / Shannon Garst (Pocket Book Jr. J-48)

Paperback 794: Pocket Books Jr. J-48 (2nd ptg, 1955)

Title: Buffalo Bill
Author: Shannon Garst
Cover artist (and illus.): Louis Glanzman

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• Bed hat.
• Three keys to killing Indians: big-ass hands, mustache wax, and fringe for miles.
• This is a pretty bad cover—a portrait-studio picture mapped onto a generic, over-bright backdrop filled with a montage of tiny, generic "action" scenes.

Best things about this back cover:

• Thanks for the buffalo-killing, dick weed.
• William F. Cody met danger early. Then he had lunch, took a nap, and went to Pilates.
• I like Yellow Hand because it sounds like a 19c. name for a nefarious Chinese criminal organization, rather than what it is—a mistranslation of Yellow Hair, a Cheyenne warrior Cody shot and scalped. "Ever the showman, Buffalo Bill returned to the stage […] his show highlighted by a melodramatic reenactment of his duel with Yellow Hair. He displayed the fallen warrior's scalp, feather war bonnet, knife, saddle and other personal effects" (wikipedia). Again, I say, dick-weed.

Page 123~

The redskins knew the country and were as hard to hunt down as the wild animals of the forest.

Everything you need to know about American attitudes toward Native Americans in one short sentence. (cc Dan Snyder)

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]