Paperback 991: The Silencers / Donald Hamilton (Gold Medal k1392)

Paperback 991: Gold Medal k1392 (2nd ptg, 1964)

Title: The Silencers
Author: Donald Hamilton
Cover art: Uncredited

Condition: 9/10 (unread)
Estimated value: $13-15

Best things about this cover:

• Is that a belt? It looks like Satan's own spatula. Either way, that's *gotta* hurt.
• What kind of space-age roller-coaster are these people fighting over?
• I love the effusion of motion lines. Makes a mockery of the very idea of motion lines. Way more lines than there could be motions. Bonkers.
• I'm guessing the lady is supposed to be bound, but it looks like she was just napping.

Best things about this back cover:

• "... a long day's journey into ..." The next word in that sentence should be MURDER, not the painfully anticlimactic "the New Mexico mountains."
• "God help us all"—man, I didn't realize official file cards got that emotive.
• "Jimmy Bond!" "Fop!" Take that ... Britain!

Page 123~

"Then somebody heaved a knife and everything went to hell."

Thanksgiving's a rough holiday for everyone.

~RP

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Paperback 964: This Kill Is Mine / Dean Evans (Graphic 131)

Paperback 964: Graphic 131 (1st ptg, 1956)

Title: This Kill Is Mine
Author: Dean Evans
Cover artist: Oliver Brabbins

Estimated value: $12-15
Condition: 7/10

Best things about this cover:

• She knows we know she's justified. If anyone's begging to be shot, it's that guy. I can almost hear him saying "Cheers, m'lady [hic!]"
• I'm oddly mesmerized by the lamp, which appears to be apparating.
• I believe those are what Christa Faust would call "bitch eyebrows."
• Liquor gone. Glasses empty. Nothin' left to do but shoot this bozo and burn the place down. (At least I assume what that matchbook in the foreground is for)

Best things about this back cover:

• When Musical Chairs Gets Out of Hand.
• She Taunted the Loser ... with Dance!
• Awesome double fear-hand on our anonymous victim here.
• I literally don't understand that first sentence.
• "Arnold Weir figured" is an awkward way to intro your protagonist's name.
• The more I read, the stranger—and less grammatical—this story gets.

Page 123~

Little burrs and clicks floated across space between us while I thought about it.
"Well?"
"All right," I said finally. "Your place."

~RP

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Paperback 901: The Queen's Awards / Ed. Ellery Queen (Perma Books M-3015)

Paperback 901: Perma Books M-3015 (1st ptg, 1955)

Title: The Queen's Awards
Editor: Ellery Queen
Cover artist: William George

Estimated value: $10-14

Best things about this cover:

• Hunting Che Fear Hand Strangulation Revolutionary Ponytail! I love this story!
• Those frames are a bit ... ornate. That said, I'd kill for a real-life version of Strangulation in Red, frame and all.
• Ellery Queen was a pseudonym for these guys. Also the name of the main character in their novels.

Best things about this back cover:

• I give the opening alliterative salvo a C-.
• "Anyway you like your murders..." is a phrase that bespeaks a certain Coliseum-esque savagery in the typical mystery story audience.
• Eleazar Lipsky wrote the story that was the basis of the film noir classic "Kiss of Death" (1947).

Page 123~ [From "The Stroke of Thirteen" by Lillian de la Torre ("as told by James Boswell, August 1780") (!?!?!)]

"The ingenious Captain Donellan," replied Dr. Johnson, "is a disciple of Linnaeus. He grows the oriental poppy. With that cord-handled claw by his tent he sacrifices the capsule of the poppy, as I have been told they do it in the East Indies where he served. He collects the gum that forms. To put a name to it, it is opium. I smelled opium in the affair when I was informed that Allan MacDonald had been hearing 'sounds colored crimson,' as drugged men may do."

18th-century drug-induced synesthesia! Who saw that coming?

~RP

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Paperback 817: Hero's Lust / Kermit Jaediker (Lion 156)

Paperback 817: Lion Books 156 (PBO, 1953)

Title: Hero's Lust
Author: Kermit Jaediker
Cover artist: Lou Marchetti

Yours for: $17


Best things about this cover:

• "The Quick Brown Fox wants you should shaddup!"
• That tie has a mind of its own.
• I like the puffy letters.
• Miss Axilla, 1953
• Seriously, though, she's pretty damned hot and I enjoy what she is wearing.  I can't recall seeing a top quite like that on paperback covers before. Spaghetti straps!

Best things about this back cover:

• OK, +1million points for the juxtaposition of "the City stank" with her armpit.
• Aw, I was sad to see the writer give up on the alliteration there in the first paragraph. I can think of at least one double-hard-C phrase that could substitute for "harlot's smile"...
• "Damnfool" is a first-rate adjective.

Page 123~

"No prostitute walks our streets."

The whole page is a delightfully delusional newspaper editorial.

~RP

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Paperback 774: Strive and Succeed / Horatio Alger (Value Book 102)

Paperback 774: Value Books 102 (1st ptg, 1955)

Title: Strive and Succeed
Author: Horatio Alger
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $12


Best things about this cover:

• Strive and succeed at beating the shit out of other boys.
• "Yeah, I took your tie. Whaddya gonna do about it, punk?!"
• This must be the part where the boy grabs his bootstraps and pulls himself up. Otherwise, it just looks like some rich, entitled fuck is picky on the poor drunk kid.

Best things about this back cover:

• That name again: HORATIO ALGER!
• Aw, man, for a split-second I read that as "stories … of hard-on success," and I was intrigued.
• I once read a book about a "supposedly worthless mine." It was called "The Luminaries." I wish I had read this one instead, for many reasons, not least of which is its reasonable 184-page length.

Page 123~

The two boys started for the school, and arrived nearly half an hour early. They entered the house, and, by means of a stout cord, soon secured the hen to the "master's" chair.

It's a heart-warming tale of honesty, thrift, perseverance and poultry pranks.

~RP

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Paperback 741: Lady in Peril / Lester Dent // Wired for Scandal / Floyd Wallace (Ace Double D-357)

Paperback 741: Ace D-357 (PBO /PBO?)

Title: Lady in Peril / Wired for Scandal
Author: Lester Dent / Floyd Wallace
Cover artist: Uncredited / Uncredited

Yours for: $18


Best things about this cover:

• Nice, ominous, off-kilter, killer-POV shot. 
• She has incredibly good posture for someone about to be brutally murdered. Style points for erect bearing and dramatic hand placement.
• This painting is like a giant metaphor for "No Means No"—What part of "Do Not Enter" do you not understand!?
• Lester Dent helped create the pulp hero Doc Savage.

Best things about this other cover:

• LOVE the design on this one. Strategic bursts of red against a semi-abstract green/white background. Nice variation on the floating head motif. Green rectangle with the tagline "Tune In And Die" brings balance and drama. 
• Those guys are amazing dancers. Shake those hips, boys!
• I kind of dress like the victim but I secretly aspire to dress like the killer.

Page 123~

"Can I look around?"
"Look, but keep your prints to yourself."
"I left some last night."

"If you know what I mean…"

~RP

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Paperback 704: Harlem Underground / Ed Lacy (Pyramid R-1220)

Paperback 704: Pyramid R-1220 (PBO, 1965)

Title: Harlem Underground
Author: Ed Lacy
Cover artist: Harry Schaare

Yours for: $13


Best things about this cover:

• Sleeper hold!
• Interesting variation on the noir street scene. You got your bar and your rain-slicked streets (or so I imagine), but apparently in Harlem there are brown/purple overtones, sliced through with neon red. Interesting effect.
• Not one but *two* floating heads. Highly unusual.
• I like how the big floating head appears to be looking down on some earlier version of himself, going "Damn, did I do that? That's cold."
• You can see Schaare's signature right under the big head's right eye. Unless that says "Espresso." It's pretty smudgy.

Best things about this back cover:

• Wait, *I*'m a rookie cop? But I already have ... OK, fuck it, sure, I'm in.
• As street names go, "Purple Eye" seems kind of limp.
• There's something quaint about how much terror the word "H-Bomb" apparently packed in 1965. Also, do H-Bombs have fuses? Serious question.

Page 123~

Breathing deeply I not only wanted to get out of Harlem, I wanted to take a rocket away from our mixed-up planet. 

Again with the cold war / space race fantasies. This book is adorable.

~RP

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Paperback 660: The Plague of Sound / Con Steffanson (adapting Alex Raymond's story) (Avon 19166)

Paperback 660: Avon 19166 (PBO, 1974)

Title: The Plague of Sound (Flash Gordon 2)
Author: Con Steffanson (from orig. story by Alex Raymond)
Cover artist: G. Wilson

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• "You call that a Bach organ fugue!? Argh, your sound plagues me! Get out of my space church, Redbeard!"
• "It's OK, honey. You're safe now," he said, after bravely firing at nothing.
• I proclaim that to be the thinnest shirt ever worn by man or beast.

Best things about this back cover:

• Wow, that is one awesomely self-parodic damsel in distress. She's got the dramatic arms and the proud, heaving bosom and the blow-up doll mouth and everything.
• That first paragraph may as well say: "First, a bunch of random shit happens..."
• In the future, there will be sciences. Plural. Be there!

Page 123~

Sawtel's stunpistol flashed out of his tunic and quietly whirred.

Hmmm. Is that a whirring stunpistol in your tunic or are you just glad to see me?

~RP

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Paperback 610: Morocco Jones in The Case of the Golden Angel / Jack Baynes (Crest 325)

Paperback 610: Crest Books 325 (PBO, 1959)

Title: Morocco Jones in The Case of the Golden Angel
Author: Jack Baynes
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Yours for: $11


Best things about this cover:

• Hey look, it's Robert Mitchum's slow, pin-headed cousin ... Morocco.
• What are you, a pirate? Button your blouse, Morocco.
• LOVE her pose / expression. It's like she's upset that no one's paying attention to her: "Oh, my, there's a rip in the back of my dress, boys. Look. Boys? Boys!!!"
• The boys are developing their patented angry secret handshake.
• And Morocco floated like a besotted wine-colored god in the heavens ... 

Best things about this back cover:

• This back cover was made with some early, horrid version of Photoshop. "Crop! Ok, now ... blue-ify!"
• Oh, *that* Kansas City.
• Of course nobody told Morocco that the "S.O.S." stood for "Sad Old Spy." It would've hurt his feelings.

Page 123~

Dave tossed Morocco a taut grin. "What honest labor union leader could afford a perch like this one?"

You have to make your grin taut before you toss it, otherwise it just sort of dies in mid-air.

~RP

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Paperback 595: My Reminiscences as a Cowboy / Frank Harris (Paper Books / Boni nn)

Paperback 595: Paper Books / Boni Books (nn) (1st thus, 1930)

Title: My Reminiscences as a Cowboy
Author: Frank Harris
Cover artist: Rockwell Kent
Interior illustrations: William Gropper

Yours for: $12


Best things about this wrap-around cover:

• Elegant. I like how the rider seems to be asleep while the horse is mid-violent-leap.
• Are those wool chaps? They're ... puffy.
• Charles Boni's Paper Books were an early experiment in softcover books. This book was published nearly a decade before the first mass-market paperbacks (Pocketbooks) began appearing. For more on Paper Books, see this nice blog entry.

Here are a couple of Gropper's interior illustrations:

• Fantastic woodcut look to these. Loving the bandolier and crooked saloon doors in this one. Oh, and the epic 'stache.

• That's a hell of a left. I love the victim's agony-hand.

Page 123~

Locker sent him after the younger boy to round up as many Texans as possible but before they could be collected, a bunch of Greasers, twenty or so, in number, rode up and demanded the return of the cattle. 

Well, at least "Greasers" was capitalized. That's *kind* of respectful. P.S. commas in this passage appear exactly as they do in the book, improbable as that may seem.

~RP

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Paperback 566: Sin's Child / Tony Calvano (Sundown Reader 619)

Paperback 566: Sundown Reader 619 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Sin's Child
Author: Tony Calvano
Cover artist: No idea

Yours for: $20

Best things about this cover:

• I love boobs as much as the next guy (or gal), but those things are horrifying. Massively dimorphic and nipple-less and two-toned. Actually, I could probably acclimate to the boobs if I could get past the face, which is an interesting combination of ashen, drunk and judgey: "Chyaaaa ... you guys call that 'shirtless fighting'? I'll show ya shirtless fighting ... just lemme pull my underwears out of my crack and I'll shows you guys ... [burp] ..."
• "Your Warrior 3 pose sucks, maggot! Hiiiiya!"
• "Yeah, yeah, you can fly, Bill, I get it. Could you just, I dunno, fly *that* way ... away from me. I gotta go rescue Suzy."

Best things about this back cover:

• Answering the question: what causes shamelessness?
• "OK, I can care for you, but ... well, I gotta take you somewhere, and you're not gonna like it."
• Face of Evil. Yes. That is an apt description of what I witnessed on the front cover.

Page 123~

"When two people are in love, when they've committed themselves to each other ... Nothing they do in the name of that love is wrong ... there is no such thing as perversion. If it strengthens that love, if it enhances the final ecstasy of that love ... Can you understand that, angel?"
"I think so. Only ..."
"No qualifications, kitten. Either you accept the whole package [!] or you don't. What do you say?"

I'm somehow imagining this happening on a game show stage, with the audience shouting variations on "Take the package!" or "Noooooooooooooooooo!"

~RP

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P.S. many thanks to Doug Peterson for continuing to send me nutso stuff like this...

Paperback 558: The Sixpenny Dame / Eaton K. Goldthwaite (Pennant Books P49)

Paperback 558: Pennant Books P49 (1st ptg, 1954)

Title: The Sixpenny Dame
Author: Eaton K. Goldthwaite
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $11

Best things about this cover:

• Larry: "Hmm. She's OK, I guess. I'll give you fine pennies." Steve: "How dare you! En garde!"
• On the rocky shores of Mustard Cove, they settled their score like men—with a dance-off!
• Sheila: "Would you two hurry it up already? I wanna go home. My neck's sore and I think I ate too many crabcakes."
• Once again—love the dress. Not sure about the bangs, but love the dress.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Hey, boss, I got this design idea. Now, close your eyes and imagine ... instead of regular old bullet points: red squares! ... yeah, I know it clashes with the purple border ... but I just thought, you know, it's a novel about conflict, so ... yes, sir. Yes, sir. Sorry, sir."
• Bullet 3: See Bullet 1
• There's cryptic-good and cryptic-bad. Then there's this useless, befuddling mess of nothingness.

Page 123~

This put my Sixpenny dame in a new and uncomfortable light, for it showed she had employed psychopathic protection of a high order. 

I like how he talks about her like she's a seventh-level Wizard in "Dungeons & Dragons."

~RP

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Paperback 554: The Secret Adversary / Agatha Christie (Avon 100)

Paperback 554: Avon 100 (1st ptg, 1946)

Title: The Secret Adversary
Author: Agatha Christie
Cover artist: Bower (I don't know how I know this, or who this is—I'm just reading the ID tag I made years ago)

Yours for: SOLD! (9/3/12)
Best things about this cover:

• Mmm, the fine art gilded frame look is Classy.
• The quote is kind of enigmatic, esp. if you stop before the ellipsis. But even after the ellipsis, it sounds like they're saying "if you absolutely must read a crappy, preposterous novel, read this one."
• That man's fall bears no plausible relation to the blow he appears to have just taken. Maybe the guy in the hat just snatched his cane. Or maybe that thing on his face is a bat which has just flown into his nose.

Best things about this back cover:

• We've seen this before. This is what back covers looked like when paperback publishers felt they still had to justify the whole format to their readership.

Page 123~

Tuppence caught herself nervously looking over her shoulder. The big wardrobe loomed up in a sinister fashion before her eyes. Plenty of room for a man to hide in that ...

Silly Tuppence. Relax. Everyone knows wardrobes lead only to Narnia. Go see Mr. Tumnus! Then you'll be Tuppence & Tumnus (sitcom-ready relationship).

~RP

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Paperback 397: The Fighting Edge / William MacLeod Raine (Pocket Books 691)

Paperback 397: Pocket Books 391 (1st ptg, 1950)

Title: The Fighting Edge
Author: William MacLeod Raine
Cover artist: Frank McCarthy

Yours for: Not for sale (gift to the collection from Doug Peterson)


Best things about this cover:

• If you stare at that giant furry meaty ginger club of a hand for any length of time, it will start to look obscene. You will have nightmares. There will be blood.
• Blood here looks fake and lipstickish, though—like the guy's fist was, just minutes earlier, engaged in a Señor Wences routine. "S'alright if I punch you in the face!? ... S'alright!"

Best things about this back cover:

• "You'll find a new rider in the bunkhouse!" — it unintentional gayness a requirement of all western cover copy? "I like 'em man-size" !? Come on!
• "I'm no dry nurse to fellows shy of sand" — nice syntax, Tex. I think this is what got that guy on the front cover punched in the face by Señor Gargantufist.

Page 123~

Dillon had taken off his high-heeled boots because they were hurting his feet. He observed that Walker, lying fully dressed on the blankets, was still wearing his.

A rare glimpse backstage at an Old West drag show. Catty banter to follow, I'm sure.

~RP

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Paperback 360: The Big Bust / Ed Lacy (Pyramid X-2037)

Paperback 360: Pyramid X-2037 (PBO, 1969)

Title: The Big Bust
Author: Ed Lacy
Cover artist: F. Pfeifer

Yours for: SOLD! (10/8/10)


Best things about this cover:

• [Insert joke about connection between title and woman's rack here]
• For a woman who's tied up, gagged, and carrying a tiny drowning man in her stomach, she's awfully concerned about those guys behind her. Lady, you've got your own problems.
• I have reluctantly tagged this post with "Redhead" label, though honestly I don't know what you call that color.

Best things about this back cover:

• Geek observation #227: "Supercharged" is just "surcharged" with "P.E." inside it. . .
• So the woman is like good pancakes. Well, who wouldn't want to tail that?
• If the boardwalk is "bikini-filled," does that mean the ocean is filled with naked women (who, presumably, all left their bikinis on the boardwalk)? I hope so.
• One of these paragraphs should immediately be countered with "That's what she said!"

Page 123~

Walter awoke me at one-fifteen and watching for snakes, back of a crumpling wall, I changed into the woolen underwear and rubber suit, Rhoda's $60,000 bra doubling as a jock strap.

[Speechless]

~RP

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Paperback 351: Solar Lottery / Philip K. Dick & The Big Jump / Leigh Brackett (Ace Double D-103)

Paperback 351: Ace Double D-103 (PBO / 1st ptg, 1955)

Title: Solar Lottery / The Big Jump
Authors: Philip K. Dick / Leigh Brackett
Cover artist: Ed Valigursky / Robert Schulz

Yours for: $80

Best things about "Solar Lottery" cover:

• In space, dodgeball Really sucks
• In space, they like to get high on nitrous and throw shit at stray Star Trek characters.
• First prize was the Earth itself! Second prize: a set of steak knives. Third prize: you're fired.
• Philip K. Dick. Paperback original. Word.

Best things about "The Big Jump" cover:

• God likes to apply his eyeliner with rocket ships.
• Hate this cover, but Leigh Brackett is one of the greatest pulp/scifi authors that time forgot.

Page 123 of "Solar Lottery"~

"I'll stop him," Wakeman repeated. "Some way, somehow."

"Between drinks, maybe." Rita halted for a moment to tie the laces on her boots, and then she disappeared down a descent ramp toward Cartwright's private quarters. She didn't look back.

Whoa, Rita. Nice burn.

~RP

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Paperback 348: River Queen / Charles N. Heckelmann (Graphic Giant G-221)

Paperback 348: Graphic Giant G-221 (2nd ptg, 1957)

Title: River Queen
Author: Charles N. Heckelmann
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $6


Best things about this cover:

• That's up there with the most maniacal expressions I've ever seen on these covers
• Either his upper body is way out of proportion to his lower body, or that is one blousey top
• Look at his right pinky—it's like he's holding a cup of tea
• Her boobs are going to come out of that dress in 5, 4, 3 ...
• Fear hand!
• "Rawhide II: Rawhider!"
• "War and Love on the Mighty ... Missouri?" Really? I'm sure it's a fine river, but it feels like carob to the Mississippi's chocolate, i.e. a poor substitute
• "Heckelmann?" Really?

Best things about this back cover:

• That boat explosion looks like it was drawn by a child—a child who has no concept of how things explode. I mean, the boat appears to be utterly intact. The explosion lines are comically straight and debris-free. The explosion *does* appear to have catapulted those two fighting guys high into the air—that's *pretty* realistic.
• "Indian-proof," HA ha. Wonder what SPF that is.
• "Hey, baby, mind if I battle my way up your flaming shores...?"

Here's the title page illustration:


Page 123~

The flag whipped jauntily in the stiff, morning breeze.

That comma is super ridiculous.

~RP

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Paperback 323: The Hate Merchant / Niven Busch (Bantam A1204)

Paperback 323: Bantam A1204 (1st ptg, 1954)

Title: The Hate Merchant
Author: Niven Busch
Cover artist: Harry Schaare

Yours for: $11


Best things about this cover:

• "Hate for sale! Get your fresh hot hate here!"
• I like the drunk guy inciting the mob while doing an impression of Gene Kelly in 'Singin' in the Rain' — "What a glorious feeling, I'm h- ... Hey, look everybody. It's the giant floating head of Broderick Crawford! Get him!"
• That is the cock-teasiest cover picture I've seen in a long time. Look at her giving him the coy look and hiking up her skirt: "What? Oh, you want some of this ... this creamy, smooth thigh? Do you? Fat chance you stupid schlub! Call me when you get a real job!" "Why I oughta..." "Oh, your impotent rage is comical." Etc.
• Design fail: wraparound cover that doesn't. Why in the world do you put the blue frame down the left side when the painting actually *continues* around to the spine and back cover. It's called a 'wrap-around' for a reason, and you have totally blown the effect, jackasses.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Frank!"
• Thank god for the parenthetical "Ala." in the review; otherwise, how would we know which prestigious "Advertiser" was responsible for this blurbing gem?
• The mob action is much better on the back cover. More dynamic stick-wielders, more clearly suffering bodies.

Page 123~

Pros nodded. He reached for the bottle, but Splane moved it out of the way.

This is what happens when you let your 4-yr-old daughter name the characters in your book.

~RP

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Paperback 312: Conan / Robert E. Howard, L. Sprague de Camp, Lin Carter (Lancer 73-685)

Paperback 312: Lancer 73-685 (PBO collection, 1967)

Title: Conan
Authors: Robert E. Howard, L. Sprague de Camp, Lin Carter
Cover artist: Frank Frazetta

Offered without comment, in honor of Frank Frazetta (1928-2010)

• OK, one comment — that is some serious MMA shit going on between Conan and the Phantom of the Apera

Two more Frazetta covers in coming days.

~RP

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Paperback 297: Here Come Joe Mungin / Chalmers S. Murray (Bantam A1193)

Paperback 297: Bantam Giant A1193 (1st ptg, 1954)

Title: Here Come Joe Mungin
Author: Chalmers S. Murray
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $50


Best things about this cover:

• Only a guy that big could get away with wearing something that ... let's say, flamboyant. "Yeah, I'm wearing a speckled salmon V-neck with a pink sash for a belt and pin-striped trousers. You wanna make somethin' of it?"
• Why is this book so pricey? It's a total mystery. Found one going for cheapish, but most are going $40-$90. "Rare in any condition." Why???
• "Chalmers" is a funny name. "Seymour!" (that's for "Simpsons" fans)
• I am disturbed by how long this guy is. I mean, from bottom of the V-neck to top of the head is an Eternity.

Best things about this back cover:

• Apparently what "Sea Island Negroes" like to do is get drunk and fight. Perhaps also have sex and play the barrel-drum. Nice.
• Again, I await the historian who can tell me why this book is 5-10 times more valuable than your average mid-50s Bantam.

Page 123~

"Joe Mungin, I 'most mad 'nough to knock you."
"Oh, don't tarrigate yourself. Here, take a drink. Too hot for fight, too hot for quarrel."

"Don't tarrigate yourself" is officially my new catchphrase.

~RP

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