Paperback 945: GI Jokes / Compiled by Lou Nielsen (Dell 77)

Paperback 945: Dell 77 (PBO, 1945)

Title: G.I. Jokes
Compiled by: Lou Nielsen
Cover art: [William Strohmer]

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $10-15

Best things about this cover:

• A catalogue of acceptable and unacceptable [Laugh syllables] in crossword puzzles. HEH! HAHA! HOHO! All fine, but once you get into the HAWs, things get dicey, and HEEEE! ... well, that's right out. And now all I want to do is put it in a puzzle grid...
• This dude seems So Happy to be a G.I.
• The cover design here is really nice. Clean and bright, with fantastic font action, and an explosion of brown chalk marks that looks simultaneously explosive and floral ... or like a barrel just fell apart and this dude's smiling mug was what was inside.

Best things about this back cover:

• Everything. Just ... all of it. I am in love with all of it.
• Speaking of crosswords: WAC.
• Love the surreal mass of female humanity in the background, contrasted with the strong, luminescent isolation of our discriminating main character and her frustrated antagonist.

Page 123~



~RP

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Paperback 826: Haunted Lady / Mary Roberts Rinehart (Dell 361)

Paperback 826: Dell 361 (1st ptg, 1949)

Title: Haunted Lady
Author: Mary Roberts Rinehart
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for : $11


Best things about this cover:

• Drunk bat photobomb!
• Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. Seriously, stop. It's weird.
• This is what happens when you keep bats as pets, lady. WTF?
• Seriously, Drunk Bat's like "What up, bitches! I'm all up in your fotoz!"

Best things about this back cover:

• Mmmmm …. mmmmapback!
• "Porte-cochere" is a hilarious word to me. You find them mainly on rich people's houses in mid-century crime novels (see esp. Chandler). Still, sounds like an hors d'oeuvre to me.
• This novel must be heavy on interior detail and in-house action, because that is one superabundantly labeled map.

Page 123~

It took her by surprise. She stared at him. Then a look of horror spread over her face. She looked wildly about the room, at Hilda, at the door. She even half rose from her chair. "I don't know what you mean," she managed to gasp.

What's the opposite of "poker face"?

~RP

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Paperback 810: The Intimate Stranger / William Lynch (Lion Books 25)

Paperback 810: Lion Books 25 (1st ptg, 1950)

Title: The Intimate Stranger
Author: William Lynch
Cover artist: Woodi (Ishmael)

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• "No … not the dress strap … alright, alright, I give. I'll murder someone."
• Melissa's lessons in "how to use furniture" were long and grueling.
• I genuinely like her whole get-up. 
• The Erotic Awakening of Ward Cleaver.

Best things about this back cover:

• Well, there's your first problem, lady. You gotta offer yourself to one of them there sane guys.
• "He was an artist … you know how they are."
• Green polka dots are my new favorite back cover design concept.

Page 123~

The underbrush scraped her bare legs, leaving torn, painful weals, sometimes tearing away filings of flesh and her hands were sore and torn with the constant grasping of bushes for support.

That is a manifestly terrible sentence, on several levels, and yet I kinda wish the book were titled "Filings of Flesh."

~RP

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Paperback 737: Duke / Hal Ellson (Popular Library 219)

Paperback 737: Popular Library 219 (5th ptg, 1950)

Title: Duke
Author: Hal Ellson
Cover artist: Rudolph Belarski

Yours for: $12


Best things about this cover:

• Her "whatever" face is the best.
• Black Joan Crawford could take you or leave you.
• Shoes! Why does everyone on old paperbacks look so damn cool. Even goofy people look cool. Even Flat-butt No Face here has a certain simple, shabby style I admire. 
• Juvenile delinquency! Dope! Smoking (literally) hot girls who could give a damn! This book has it all.
• The one word I think of when I see Belarski's artwork: creamy. 

Best things about this back cover:

• Love the advisory at the end there! "If you barf easy, or don't, like, care about important stuff, then fuck off already." This book has the same attitude as the lady on the cover.
• Marijuana. I like when books name their drugs. Even though this is a 5th printing, the great condition, the JD (juvenile delinquency) theme, and the drug references make it super-sweet / collectible. 
• "Cash before pleasure"? Come on, you gotta up your slang game if you're gonna run the streets. "Money before honeys"? "Dough before ho"? "Cheddar before girls in tight sweaters"? Something.

Page 123~

"You got any sticks on you?" Chink said.
"Yeah, I got some. You want one."
"I could use it."
I gave Chink one. I passed some around to the others. I lit one for myself. I needed that. We all got to be feeling gay then. 

Aw, yeah … [cue sexy music] …

~RP

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Paperback 510: Strange Thirsts / Michael Norday (Beacon Books B662X)

Paperback 510: Beacon Books B662X (2nd ptg, 1963)

Title: Strange Thirsts
Author: Michael Norday
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: Not for sale (donation to the collection from Doug Peterson)


Best things about this cover:

• This book, and the next few I'll feature on this blog, are all gifts from my friend Doug Peterson. He brings me new books almost every time I see him, and my recent trip to Brooklyn was no exception. My wife had to accept this particular round of gifts, as I was out of commission with vicious food poisoning, but I'm sure he (and everyone) knows how grateful I am.
• I guess I've seen one too many of these semi-suggestive lesbian covers, because the only thing I can see are the blonde's crazy leprechaun shoes. I hope those are for "the annual college play," because if she's wearing those on the street, people are going to chase her and demand to know where she keeps her gold.
• I hope "Strange Thirsts" refers to the blonde's irresistible compulsion to drink the brunette's bath water.
• I like my lesbian paperbacks to be somewhat more provocative than this. Hardly any flesh, even. A couple of tiny slivers of cleavage. Come on. A lesbian paperback cover's lasting impression should not be bathroom tile, house plants, and seriously flamboyant footwear.

Best things about this back cover:

• Yeah, yeah, "warped." You said that on the front cover.
• "Imported," HA ha. "Hey, did the new shipment of Zane Hunter come in yet?"
• "Dale, for relief, turned to pretty Julie Hilton." For relief? Relief from What? The sexual attention of a glamorous actress?
• I like that Julie enjoyed "questionable ecstasies." "You call those ecstasies? Hmm. I'm dubious."
• "Baby-skinned"is a horrifying adjective.
• "Dale, get in here. You *gotta* see this degradation..."
• "Probes deeply, boldly, into forbidden areas." That's what I call obvuendo!

Page 123~

There were times when her flesh seemed unable to wait for the completion that he would give it with his own.

So he's going to give her flesh completion? With his own flesh? His own completion? But the whole paragraph is about how they're *not* having sex because they're waiting for marriage ... only the very next chapter is entitled "Menage à Trois"! Crazy college kids.

~RP

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