Paperback 922: Scandal at High Chimneys / John Dickson Carr (Bantam A2155)

Paperback 922: Bantam A2155 (1st ptg, 1960)

Title: Scandal at High Chimneys
Author: John Dickson Carr
Cover artist: Stanley Zuckerberg

Estimated value: $7-12

Best things about this cover:

• You know she's a vampire 'cause you can't see her butt crack in the mirror.
• Seriously, I love love love this cover. It's like she got caught going at it with the carriage driver, so she grabbed his uniform to protect herself from the prurient eyes of "sanctimonious Victorian London," only to re-eroticize the whole shebang by standing with her backside to the mirror like that. It's a metaphor for (alleged) Victorian prudishness—an injunction to cover up that only ends up foregrounding the whole naughty business.
• Is that a cane? It's ... quite long. And yes, that is what she said.

Best things about this back cover:

• Bats!
• World's creepiest author close-up: "Mmmm. Fly my pretty bats, fly."
• Ablest was I ere I saw Tselba.

Page 123~

"Bale up, grandpa! What's a yard o' white satin among friends?"

I'm begging you, pleading with you, to make "Bale up, grandpa!" the "Where's the beef?" of 2016.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 763: Ten North Frederick / John O'Hara (Bantam F1554)

Paperback 763: Bantam F1554 (1st ptg, 1957)

Title: Ten North Frederick
Author: John O'Hara
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $7


Best things about this cover:

• Wow, this is a strong entry in the Shittiest Cover Ever contest.
• "Oh, Steve. Hold me in your pea green embrace!"
• I like how the title is reinforced by the door in the background. Wait, did I say "like"…?
• I almost like her messy painted dress and the curvaceous alien legs of the … let's call it a "hat stool."

Best things about this back cover:

• Honestly, they couldn't make this book more boring-sounding if they tried.
• Wait, go back to the "sweetheart" part … now change it to "buxom mistress" … yes, that's better.
• So it's about a guy with a hat and cane who doesn't get to be President. I love John O'Hara, and I'm sure the book is fine, but I'm gonna require a sexier come-on than JOE CHAPIN.

Page 123~

"Ever see a fellow named Guyon Bardwell? He lived on Staten Island, and I imagine still does."

"Bardwell. No, I don't think so, although I did go to Staten Island this year. It's a beautiful place."

Staten Island? The one in New York? OK, if you say so.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 734: Fire, Burn / John Dickson Carr (Bantam A1847)

Paperback 734: Bantam A1847 (1st ptg, 1959)

Title: Fire, Burn
Author: John Dickson Carr
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• So, uh, title: are you giving instructions to the fire (which I doubt it needs), or … are you Frankenstein's monster remarking up on what fire does, or …?
• "Oh, hi there, I was just fixing my hair and … my boobs? … oh yes, there they are. Whoops, how careless of me."
• Giant pink bookmark.
• Cape/cane frame.
• God, 19th-century interior decorating was dreadful.

Best things about this back cover:

• Least flattering author pic of all time.
• Amateurish bats are oddly charming.
• I hope that Lady Flora is either a rapper or has a sister named Lady Fauna.

Page 123~

If anyone had seen the pistol fall from Flora's muff, or seen him hide it under the hollow-based lamp, they might both stand in the dock on a charge of murder.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]