Paperback 994: Rainbow In My Bed / Rex Rainey (Brandon House 1019)

Paperback 994: Brandon House 1019 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Rainbow in My Bed
Author: Rex Rainey
Cover artist: photo cover

Condition: 6.5/10
Estimated value: $25-30

[New addition to The Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• Since "rainbow" didn't have the queer implications then that it does now ... I have no idea what this means. Maybe that's her name?
• Design is unique, but terrible. Terribly unique. It conveys nothing. The shattered fragmentation of it all runs counter to the bland tourism-poster pictures and the childish R A I N B O W
• There is a ski in that middle-bottom triangle. Which is weird, as I can see the sunny seaside in the other picture, and also she does not appear to be dressed for skiing.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Nobody came to ski" — ah, yes, well, that explains the cover
• "Nobody came to ski" is one of the greatest, if not The greatest, sleaze taglines of all time. I intend to use it, suggestively, every chance I get.
• The skier looks like an anthropomorphic boar. Descending from the sky. On bolts of lightning.

Page 123~

This time it gave and came all the way out with a loud plonk.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 630: Had I But Groaned / Carter Brown (Signet D3380)

Paperback 630: Signet D3380 (PBO, 1968)

Title: Had I But Groaned
Author: Carter Brown
Cover artist: Uncredited (Robert McGinnis)

Yours for: $15


Best things about this cover:

• We have a winner in the Stupidest Title Of All Time contest.
• Seriously, what is this contrafactive pseudo-poetic nonsense? Is it a famous quotation? Who says this? In what context would groaning make things better??? "Had I but groaned ... I'd've gotten the role in that zombie movie for sure"? 
• Back to groaning—it's not even sexual? Moaning would be sexual? I am just befuddled by whatever it is this title is trying to do.
• I keep imagining this as "Had I Butt-Groaned..."
• To this cover's credit—she is amazing. McGinnis-gorgeous. I don't know if that's a lab coat or a towel or what that she holding, or why she's in a haunted house, but I don't much care.
• The stripes on her underwear nicely complement those on the settee. I am 100% serious with that last comment.

Best things about this back cover:

• Copy in red is not half-bad. Copy in black is empty confusing blather.
• "Naturally."
• You know a story's going to be exciting when the main character is named "Larry Baker." 

Page 123~

We reached the banquette a couple of minutes later, mainly because Boris zigzagged all the way across the floor of the restaurant. "Ladies!" He bowed deeply and bashed his forehead on a passing trolley of hors d'oeuvres.

A+

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]