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Showing posts with label Lesbians. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lesbians. Show all posts

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Paperback 996: Playgirl For Hire / Sylvia Sharon (Domino Books 82-104)

Paperback 996: Domino Books 82-104 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Playgirl For Hire
Author: Sylvia Sharon (pseud. of Paul Little)
Cover artist: photo cover

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $25-30

Domino82-104
Best things about this cover:
  • "Put down that drink and let's go do some tumbling? Whaddya say?"
  • I assume these ladies are supposed to be facsimiles of Playboy Bunnies (?) but aside from the liquor and the heels, and maybe the floor, this cover seems less "big-time vice" and more "back stage at the taping of a yoga class for public access TV."
  • "Oh, Patti, I feel so enmeshed in big-time vice." "Those are just stockings, dearie."

Domino82-104bc
Best things about this back cover:
  • Ah, the old "daddy issues lead Kitty to sin city" narrative. Klassic.
  • There's a haven for the bored and jaded? How do I get there?
  • No models were harmed in the shooting of the cover photo
Page 123~

Kitty thought it curious that Pearl should suddenly gulp, turn very red, and squirm nervously about as she hastened to reply, "Oh, I do, Miss Wilson."

I wanted to cut that quote short at "gulp," but kept going in the interest of journalistic integrity.

~RP

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Thursday, June 8, 2017

Paperback 995: Take Me In Passion / Donna Richards (Domino Books 72-929)

Paperback 995: Domino Books 72-929 (PBO, 1965)

Title: Take Me In Passion
Author: Donna Richards
Cover artist: photo cover

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $15-20

[new addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Domino72-929
Best things about this cover:
  • It was a weird time for metal.
  • Opium Addicts Surreptitiously Admire Each Other's Bras
  • "Like the wig? It's Bowie's." "Really!?" "No, I found it in a dumpster."
  • "Maybe we should've gone with a professional stylist...?" "Shhh ... the panther ... he sees us ..." (seriously, what is that shadow?)
  • They had to re-release this book after the original title, Take Me In Indifference, failed to move buyers.
  • Love how the "Adult Reading" notice looks much more like "Exciting Feature!" than "Warning!"

Domino72-929bc
Best things about this back cover:
  • "They had to choose ... but could they?" Look, make up your mind. Those sad shirtless lesbians either had agency or they didn't.
  • No, *you're* the passion's puppet! No puppet, no puppet! (dear future, this is a reference to a 2016 political moment that's probably best forgotten, I'm sorry)
  • Wow, it gets unexpectedly Homeric there at the end, with "foreordained" this and "all-powerful, erotic destiny" that. The gods do love laughing at havoc.

Page 123~

Marty Green waggled his forefinger before the boy's nose. "No . . . you . . . don't! What do you think I am, like that broad I'm looking for? You think I'm queer like her? Well, she's not even my own daughter, what do you think of that? I adopted her, like a damn fool. Imagine? I adopted a queer!"

I know a lot is happening in this paragraph, but I'm kinda still stuck on "waggled."

~RP

P.S. bonus material from p. 123:

"You're drinking nothing! What the hell do you think I am, some kind of a hick? I'm Marty Green!"

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Monday, June 5, 2017

Paperback 994: Rainbow In My Bed / Rex Rainey (Brandon House 1019)

Paperback 994: Brandon House 1019 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Rainbow in My Bed
Author: Rex Rainey
Cover artist: photo cover

Condition: 6.5/10
Estimated value: $25-30

[New addition to The Doug Peterson Collection]

BH1019
Best things about this cover:
  • Since "rainbow" didn't have the queer implications then that it does now ... I have no idea what this means. Maybe that's her name?
  • Design is unique, but terrible. Terribly unique. It conveys nothing. The shattered fragmentation of it all runs counter to the bland tourism-poster pictures and the childish R A I N B O W
  • There is a ski in that middle-bottom triangle. Which is weird, as I can see the sunny seaside in the other picture, and also she does not appear to be dressed for skiing.

BH1019bc
Best things about this back cover:
  • "Nobody came to ski" — ah, yes, well, that explains the cover
  • "Nobody came to ski" is one of the greatest, if not The greatest, sleaze taglines of all time. I intend to use it, suggestively, every chance I get.
  • The skier looks like an anthropomorphic boar. Descending from the sky. On bolts of lightning.

Page 123~

This time it gave and came all the way out with a loud plonk.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Paperback 968: Eros Laughed / Bart Mayes (France Books F19)

Paperback 968: France F19 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Eros Laughed
Author: Bart Mayes —credited nowhere on either front or back cover :(
Cover artist: "Cover photo by Sam Wu" ("photo posed by professional model")

Estimated value: $25
Condition: 8/10

FranceF19
Best things about this cover:
  • Jesus wept.
  • Is that a bare mattress?
  • It is at least somewhat remarkable that these books provide a *photographer* credit. Most paperbacks don't give their *fully painted covers* an artist credit.
  • This book is immaculate, but for a bent-up corner of the back cover.
Here's the fold-out!:
FranceF19FullCover
  • "Odd" and "ball" desperately want to be reunited. See also "twenty" and "eight."
  • Hey! Hidden lesbian content! That stuff's not normally, uh, hidden where these books are concerned.
  • Based on the last two France covers, it appears that what men want in their fold-out covers is a generous expanse of haunch. Nothing wrong with that.

FranceF19bc
Best things about this back cover:
  • Gonna start referring to myself as "on the dark side of thirty." I'm 46, so I think it works.
  • Wow this writing is straight terrible. First, it just doesn't got with the girl pictured. Second, the whole last third of the paragraph adds nothing to either the "eros" of the passage or to character development or Anything.
  • Oh, Gawd, indeed.

Page 123~

When Louise saw her fully clothed, she dressed, too, and they sat together tiredly, letting the coffee do its beneficial work.

Good ol' coffee. Doing the work. Easing the shame. My best friend.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Paperback 889: Teen-Age Stray / Arthur Adlon (Beacon B752X)

Paperback 889: Beacon Signal B752X (PBO, 1964)

Title: Teen-Age Stray
Author: Arthur Adlon
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $15-20

Beacon752
Best things about this cover:

  • "She was down to pennies, tears and her bikini…" Is that zeugma? I've been waiting to see zeugma again since I first learned what it was 25 years ago, in my Brit Lit II class, where we were reading Alexander Pope's "Rape of the Lock." And here we are. Zeugma!
  • This whole concept is not "erotic" to me. It's depressing. Except the triumphant, happy ending where she joins the erotic world of lesbianism. I approve of that.
  • … and her calves never got sunburned again.


Beacon752bc
Best things about this back cover:

  • Texty!
  • Rex. That's a great name! Terridy, however … that's not even a plausible name, let alone a good one.
  • "...a meal, a buck, and a bed…" It honestly didn't occur to me at first that "buck" might simply refer to money.


Page 123~

"Then talk, Rex. I like you better when you talk. You warm me."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Paperback 865: Appointment for Sin / Paul V. Russo (Midwood F217)

Paperback 865: Midwood F217 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Appointment for Sin
Author: Paul V. Russo
Cover artist: Uncredited

Est. value: $22-25

MW217
Best things about this cover:

  • Suzie Masseuse's gaze is burning a hole in that washcloth.
  • "Now that you're naked, just cross your feet like … like so, and now … I strum your ankles. Isn't that nice?"
  • I love how Blondewig Amplebosom's like "Well is this a sin appointment or isn't it? Jeez, what's a girl gotta do to get some sin? I made an appointment and everything, and still no sin. Put my ankles down!"
  • I love orange, but no. This room color is a no.


MW217bc
Best things about this back cover:

  • Terrible tagline—stupid within
  • "Editor's note" LOL. It's in typewriter font, so you know it's real.
  • Winnie and April will be plenty, thanks.


Page 123~

"Some of the clients are particularly fond of the vibrating mechanism in it."
"Vib—"
Her hand closed his mouth.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Friday, December 5, 2014

Paperback 840: Not I, Said the Vixen / Bill S. Ballinger (Gold Medal k1529)

Paperback 840: Gold Medal k1529 (PBO, 1965)

Title: Not I, Said the Vixen
Author: Bill S. Ballinger
Cover artist: [Bill Johnson]

Estimated value: $8-12

Donation to the collection from Mr. John Q. Brooklyn (I don't want to use real names w/o permission). Guy asks me "Can I send you a book for your blog?" Twist my arm!

GM1529

Best things about this cover:

  • "Isn't it true that your favorite letter is "I", Miss Lorents? ANSWER THE QUESTION!"
  • "Do you deny that you are overwhelmingly sensual? DO YOU!?"
  • This is a "vixen"? This looks like someone who showed up to a table reading for her role as "Vixen" in an episode of "Perry Mason." She does have a pretty boss head-tilt, but my prescription for greater vixenitude is less clothes, more gun. And … yeah, sure, go ahead and put on the glasses. OK, now shoot the D.A. and then stand over his body like, "told ya."


GM1529bc

Best things about this back cover:

  • Way to bury the lede, Gold Medal. How is PROWLED THE WORLD OF TWILIGHT WOMEN not on the cover!?
  • She "ruined her lovers with the hot breath of scandal" ("scandal" being a last-minute substitute for "chili cheese fries")
  • "Please state your name for the record." "Ivy Lorents." "And how do you spell 'Ivy,' Miss Lorents? I presume it starts 'I', 'V'…" "Not I." "Objection! Permission to treat the vixen as sensual, your honor."


Page 123~

"You had her … falling all over herself," Ivy said, pleased with the memory of Pauline's discomfort.

Please invest that sentence with all the Sapphic innuendo you can muster.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Friday, March 14, 2014

Paperback 752: French Model / Cecil Barr (Beacon B133)

Paperback 752: Beacon B133 (1st pb, 1957)

Title: French Model
Author: Cecil Barr
Cover artist: photo cover

Yours for: Not For Sale (part of the Doug Peterson Collection)

Beac133

Best things about this cover:

As Doug said to me as he handed me the book: "Motorboat fail."
That guy is *totally* a Cecil.
"Starring Darrin's boss from "Bewitched" and a *very* grown-up Marcia Brady!"
His trousers are gigantic.

Beac133bc

Best things about this back cover:

  • Far, far sexier than the cover...
  • ...Until you start reading the words. That's a whole lot of yuck, very very fast.
  • As far as future possible aliases go … I call dibs on "Shockproof Daffodil"


Page 123~

"I'm going to watch you dress, Daffodil. Is this what you're going to wear? It's ravishing, of course, but only you could wear it. What arms, my dear, and I say, what legs! No wonder old Amy—don't rush it, darling, have a heart. Do you mean to say no soutien-gorge? But of course not. Let me—don't be a fool, Daffodil, what are you afraid of. Firm as little rocks. Ugh, you darling! I'm not one of Amy's sort, more's the pity, or what a time I should be having."

My French is a little rusty, but allow me to translate: Daffodil's lady friend/maid is watching her dress and feeling her up while wishing out loud that she was a lesbian (like the mythical "Amy") so she could … watch Daffodil dress and feel her up? It's not clear what Amy would be doing, but one imagines she'd be avoiding laughably unsexy phrases like "Firm as little rocks" and "Ugh, you darling."

~RP

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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Paperback 751: The Oddballs / Stacey Clubb (Softcover Library B853X)

Paperback 751: Softcover Library B853X (PBO, 1965)

Title: The Oddballs
Author: Stacey Clubb
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: Not For Sale—part of the Doug Peterson Collection

SoftCover853

Best things about this cover:
  • "I don't think they're so odd," he said, self-consciously.
  • So many questions. Such as, where has her right arm got to? Or, why their bed is a parallelogram?
  • Remember the fad of wearing two differently colored stockings!? Me either.
  • "You awake? … tickle tickle! … alright then, I'm just going to remove your head with my jaws now, OK? Just relax."
  • "The only practical sex was unnatural sex!" — Having trouble understanding the use of the word "practical" here. "Well, see, I would just put my penis in your vagina, but … it's really not practical for me ... right now … at this juncture … you know? So, let's just bring in the elephant and the mustard and see how it goes, mkay? It's just easier that way."

SoftCover853bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • Shadowy = Lesbiany. In case you're unfamiliar with paperback code.
  • INA, ha ha! Calling all crossword constructors, we got a live one!
  • I want a business card that reads "Encourager of odd rites and practices."

Page 123~

The sting of his blow had not penetrated.

Nope, sorry, that was just the first thing I opened to. Hang on … OK, here we go:

"Bernice," he called out.

But the bikini-clad goddess who appeared casually at the top of the mezzanine stairs in response to his blithe summons was not, of course, Bernice.

If ever there was a name custom-made for softcore porn, that name is Blithe Summons.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Monday, December 2, 2013

Paperback 724: Live With Me / Jerry M. Goff, Jr. (Merit 612)

Paperback 724: Merit Books 612 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Live With Me
Author: Jerry M. Goff, Jr.
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $27

Merit612

Best things about this cover:
  • I honestly don't know what I'm looking at. Unless her bra straps clasp behind her head like some kind of necklace, I can't see why her elbows are up that high. Is she making her boobs do a little dance performance? Her companion seems intrigued.
  • Those are some straight-up terrible hands. Or hand, I guess. Hands are always the giveaway. Only the best artists can do hands right. The reason for the giant boobs and Krazy Eyes is to distract you from the terrible, terrible hands. 
  • That left boob has a mind of its own. It seems to be experiencing the gravitational pull of the artist-lady's gaze.
  • What is up with that lady's gown? Here is the dialogue I like to imagine they are having: "I like your gown." "Thank you." "Are you headed to a ball?" "Balls don't interest me much … if you know what I mean …" 

Merit612bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • Hey look, it's the artist lady, back from Barbados and possessed by twelve demons!
  • "… lovely, normal and stunning …" ??? Can't wait for all the red hot normality.
  • So basically Suzanne Pleshette goes on a telekinetic lesbian rampage. Got it.

Page 123~

"Tell us. Does she wash your back when you bathe? She did the other girls. That was always her first approach."

"Her second approach involved ball gowns, sketch pads, and mind control. I'm a little fuzzier on the details there…"

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Paperback 722: Strange Longing / Orrie Hitt (Chariot Books CB-1626)

Paperback 722: Chariot Books CB-1626 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Strange Longing
Author: Orrie Hitt
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $25

CB1626

Best things about this cover:
  • This was also the cover for Axilla Fetishist Monthly (April 1963)
  • One thing about saran wrap lingerie is: the itch.
  • Man I wish the girl in the dark in the back ground were more in the light in the foreground.

CB1626bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • "Oh, don't mind me, I just wandered over to this side of the room and got tangled in the drapery somehow."
  • Seriously, what is happening there?
  • "Bunny soft"— I'm laughing quite hard right now.
  • Ladies, if you really wanna sex up your bedroom patter, call it "the portals of the 'forbidden world'!"

Page 123~
"I don't do the kind of dances they'd want."
"Who cares about dancing? The men don't come inside the tent for that."
They got into another bottle of rye and Emily paraded around the room.
~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Paperback 720: That Kind of Girl / Stanley Curson (Brandon House 741)

Paperback 720: Brandon House 741 (PBO, 1965)

Title: That Kind of Girl
Author: Stanley Curson
Cover artist: [Fred Fixler]

Yours for: $35

BH741

Best things about this cover:
  • Which kind of girl? Prematurely gray? Exceedingly tanned? Vinyl-loving? Shoe-collecting?
  • Seriously, those shoes, in all their green-ness and out-of-context-ness, totally make this cover.
  • V is for Vortex Of Forbidden Love 
  • I like that Ms. Gray is making a big "V" with her arms. Why she's covering her crotch with jazz hands, I don't know.

BH741bc

Best things about this back cover:

  • The pic itself is kind of adorable.  Hey! Lurid text! Leave those kids alone!

Page 123~

Anne gripped his organ experimentally …

OK, I cheated. This is page 122. But what was I supposed to do? Ignore this sentence? I throw myself on the mercy of the court.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Monday, September 23, 2013

Paperback 699: Journey to a Woman / Ann Bannon (Gold Medal s977)

Paperback 699: Gold Medal s977 (PBO, 1960)

Title: Journey to a Woman
Author: Ann Bannon
Cover artist: photo cover, I think

Yours for: No. I keep. (probably worth about $60)

GM977

Best things about this cover:
  • It's cruddy. But this is a novel by one of the biggest names in lesbian pulp, so I'm fond of it nonetheless.
  • She's been ambered! (that reference was for "Fringe" fans only ... so, like, five of you)
  • Is that text supposed to be a poem? Whose / Bright idea was it to break the / Lines that / way?

GM977bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • Here's some important "gay" paperback code language: "half-" anything. Also, "shadows."
  • Hey, I wanna go "tearing through the night on a fool's errand at the whim of a beautiful spoiled woman who had beckoned." That sounds awesome!
  • "The strangely alluring woman called Vega!" — well, I've got at least one friend who will find this book interesting. A friend named 'Vega." You probably guessed that.

Page 123~

"Charlie has some idea for a new toy," Cleve went on. "He wants to call it 'The Scooth.' It's sort of a spring, a great big thing you can crawl inside or sit on top of and bounce."

Toys are important on your journey to a woman.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Monday, September 2, 2013

Paperback 691: Tutor From Lesbos / A.P. Williams (Beacon B731X)

Paperback 691: Beacon B731X (PBO, 1964)

Title: Tutor From Lesbos
Author: A.P. Williams
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $55

BeacB731X

Best thing about this cover:
  • OK, Lesson One: how to sit in a chair.
  • In order of awesome: sunglasses, butterfly chair, wig, sweater set.
  • I'm imagining the frugal parents who are excited about this ad. "'No charge'! What a deal!"

BeacB731Xbc

Best things about this back cover:
  • The question we've all been asking all our lives.
  • "Love" quote unquote hahaha. Oh, Ginny, Ginny, who can I turn to ...?
  • "Consider the emotions of..." Well, that's a new angle.
  • "Feel the despair of..." Ditto.
  • So the dad *watches*? Gross/hot.
  • LOL uncontrollably at the last four sentences on this back cover.

Page 123~

[Hamilton] [...] worked at his desk until lunchtime, when he walked into several downtown shops and finally purchased an ugly gray fedora and a pair of sunglasses. These would render him inconspicuous, he figured, and enable him to blend in with the other drinkers at the lesbian bar. He had heard that dark glasses were worn as a badge by the city's questionable element.

Finally I understand why lesbians are constantly hitting on me every time I put on a fedora and sunglasses. Thank you, "Tutor From Lesbos"—aptly, you have taught me so much. Also, I would join a gang / club / sleaze appreciation society called "The Questionable Element."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Friday, August 30, 2013

Paperback 689: The Left Hand of Satan / Mark Lucas (Saber Books SA-88)

Paperback 689: Saber Books SA-88 (PBO, 1964)

Title: The Left Hand of Satan
Author: Mark Lucas
Cover artist: Uncredited (he did a *lot* of late Sabers...) [Bill Edwards]

Yours for: $30

Sab88

Best things about this cover:
  • The only thing that explains the hilariously amateurish quality of this painting, with its complete disdain for perspective (how tall *is* that man?!), is that it was painted by the left hand of Satan, and Satan is right-handed.
  • Don't look too long at that headboard—it will confuse you and while you are thus addled Satan will steal your soul (presumably with his left hand).
  • Nick is not a plausible mate for anyone, let alone either of those ladies. 
  • "I finished painting your hallway ultra-bright yellow, ma'am, I just ... oh, excuse me, ma'am, I didn't know you had company. I'll go clean your gutters now. OK? OK." [backs out slowly].
  • This is post-Sanford Aday Saber. Instead of interesting, politically-minded, sexually-provocative sleaze, we now just get sleaze for sleaze's sake, i.e. dull porn. Seriously, his publishing empire went Hilariously downhill after his obscenity conviction. 

Sab88bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • "Ordained minister"—so you know this shit is going to be Filthy.
  • How is anyone "born with unconventional standards"? Predilections, sure, I guess, but "standards?" Those can't be inborn. Those are culturally determined. This has been "Overthinking It," with Rex Parker. See you next week.
  • "The school of Lesbians and male homosexual students is growing"—Class Sizes Are Limited, So Enroll Now!
  • Never in a million years would *Aday* have published a book with this faux-moralizing judgmental crap on the back. He veered toward sympathy and understanding, where this ... ugh. "Your kids are in danger! Read this porn to find out how!"
  • Who green-lighted this back cover concept. "It'll have the color gradients of Fire!" "Will it be legib...?" "Shhhh .... FIRE!"
Page 123~
"This is what I was thinking about, when I was trying to go to sleep. How could I go to sleep when ever muzzle in my body was begging for you?" 
"The word is muscle, baby, and when I get started with you, you won't be able to say scat,"Nick said, taking her into his arms.
Ever muzzle in my gut wants to say scat to this guy.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Paperback 685: Swapping Society / Jack Woods (Corsair Books 216)

Paperback 685: Corsair Books 216 (PBO, 1968)

Title: Swapping Society
Author: Jack Woods
Cover artist: Uncredited. Feels like somebody famous, but I can't remember his name... [possibly Bill Ward or Gene Bilbrew or Eric Stanton]

Yours for: Not for Sale [part of the Doug Peterson Collection]

Cors216

Best things about this cover:

  • Glenda will not have her magnificent buttcheeks upstaged by some young hippie's perky rack. Back to the dorms with you and your left boob, Missy.
  • How is this vampire different from all other vampires? Well, Missy, she's about to show you.
  • Not sure how this cover can be so sexed-up and yet feel so dull. It's like people dressed for an orgy but decided to reenact a routine medical exam instead.
  • Behold this imprint! I'd never even heard of Corsair until Doug handed me this book last weekend. Skull & crossbones = righteous.


Cors216bc

Best things about this back cover:

  • A lesbian dominatrix who's into BDSM? That's what's called hitting the alt.sex jackpot, paperbackwise.
  • Ha ha, "You." Gotta love second-person cover copy. It's like a Choose Your Own Adventure (which ... would be ... the greatest thing ever ...).
  • "Plunge Into the Aberrant Happenings" should be some state's motto. Nebraska? I'm looking at you...
  • And the winner of all typos is .... [drum roll] ... UNCERTAINTLY! Pick up your check at the door, buddy. You earned it!


Page 123~

"They let's go, darling," Linda whispered, smearing her wet lips over his cheek. "I need a real man to take care of me—as hot as I am right now. And I'm sure you can do the job with flying colors."

Sorry, Linda, you lost me at "smearing."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker at Twitter and Tumblr]

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Paperback 683: Big Heat / Unknown (All Star Books AS 531)

Paperback 683: All Star Books AS 531 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Big Heat
Author: No author credit? Seriously? Not even on the title page or anywhere?
Cover artist: too sad to think about

Yours for: Not for Sale [Part of the Doug Peterson Collection]

AS531

Best things about this cover:
  • Several things. First: peach?
  • Second: the most offensive thing about this cover—his shirt. Actually, probably all of him, but especially his shirt.
  • I am enjoying her stockings.
  • I like (seriously, like) how they start her off at "Twice."

AS531bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • BIG HEAT! Comin' atcha! 3 times!
  • In what universe is the phrase "giant breasts falling free of her halter" erotic or titillating? It makes me want to shout "Run!" to all the endangered villagers.
  • Hmm. If you're looking to find a man who could release you from the tortured lust of being a lesbian, I'm not sure reckless affairs with other women is the way to go about it. "I keep having reckless affairs with other women, but so far, no luck on the man front. What am I doing wrong!?"
  • Ah, "unnatural" and "twisted," my favorite code words. How you guys doin'? Good to see you again.

Page 123~
"Christ, what's the matter with me?" he said. "Blowing my stack over some dumb kid in hick fishing camp!"
Wow. Did not see those last three words coming.

Here's some bonus footage, which I tweeted last night—from the preview page inside the front cover:
Her breasts were enormous bombs of powdered white flesh, tipped with crimson tidbits the size of plums.
The Crimson Tidbits were also a moderately successful doo-wop group from the late-50s.

~RP

P.S. this book appears to be ... short stories. But with no table of contents and no author credit and no apparent dignity, who's to say?

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Paperback 665: Patterns of Sin / Dave Patrick (Saber Tropic 922)

Paperback 665: Saber Tropic 922 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Patterns of Sin
Author: Dave Patrick
Cover artist: Uncredited [Bill Edwards]

Yours for: $26

SabTrop922-1

Best things about this cover:
  • How is this book *not* titled "They Cloned Castro!"?
  • I think her underwear is pretty. 
  • Is it just me, or is it less fun to admire the half-naked lady when she's being gang-raped?

SabTrop922bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • Ouch. I have sleaze whiplash. Going from Cuban gang rape to brother/sister incest will do that to you.
  • "May I?" Ha ha. So polite, and such proper grammar.
  • "Since there were no degrees of sin in her mind..."—the implications of this are staggering. "Oh, well, I already stole a $5 from the till, so I may as well carjack that lady and start running people over."
  • "Roddy." Again, HA ha.

Page 123~

"What's going on here?" he demanded, his eyes taking in the Major's body. 

Wow, this book is bound and determined to hit *all* the major "sins" (at least I assume this passage is a prelude to gay sex in the military). Too bad I don't do Page 144—it has a lengthy, clumsy, hilariously clinical description of lesbian 69. "... Estelle knew what the next step was to be, and she was reluctant to take it, until Gizelle's mouth reached its destination and moved on to her partner's thighs in a manner that said the act was to be a reciprocal, if it was performed." Mmm ... tell me less ...

~RP

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Sunday, March 17, 2013

Paperback 619: The Odd Kind / Arthur Adlon (Beacon B492F)

Paperback 619: Beacon Books B492F (PBO, 1962)

Title: The Odd Kind
Author: Arthur Adlon
Cover artist: Milo

From The Doug Peterson Collection (recent addition)

Beacon492

Best things about this cover:

  • This title answers the question: "What kind of face did the angry lesbian ghost have?"
  • "Ancient rituals" is some through-the-looking-glass euphemism. I guess it's tied to some idea of ancient Lesbos. Or child sacrifice. One or the other.
  • This artist liked to get his models so drunk they pass out. Then wait. Then just as they're awakening from their stupor, bam—paint them!
  • This model's stupor must be considerable. I mean, normally, when a murderous, vengeful, crudely painted ghost materializes in your bedroom in a big cloud of smoke, you'd turn around and look.


Beacon492bc

Best things about this back cover:

  • Whoa. "Bisexual." You don't see that word a lot on paperbacks. Interesting.
  • Re: LA MODENA—The "town in Italy" thing kind of undermines the whole "strange name" thing. "Oooh, your name's so strange." "It's a town in Italy." "Oh ... I see."
  • Oh, sure, LA MODENA is "strange," but *that* dude's name is *totally* normal.
  • I have flipped through this book and that question, "did they want him or each other?" Well, it's each other ... for a while. But then it's him. Pam dies. LA MODENA and Jorge end up together. P.S. Spoiler alert.


Page 123~

Mod laughed nervously. "What will you tell them, baby?"
"How the hell do I know, until they ask me?" Pam answered half seriously. She swung around and regarded Mod critically. "You don't expect me to get up and announce I got married—to a girl—do you?"

~RP

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Sunday, September 23, 2012

Paperback 565: The Third Sex / Artemis Smith (Beacon 649)

Paperback 565: Beacon Books B649F (2nd ptg, 1963)

Title: The Third Sex
Author: Artemis Smith
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $25
BB649.3rdSex
Best things about this cover:
  • Joan was excited about embarking on her new life as a Lesbian superhero, but disappointed at the costume prototype.
  • Seriously, in what context, outside magician's assistant, would one wear that?
  • You can tell Joan is gay because she's named after the famous lesbian heroine Joan of Arc. You can tell Marc is gay because no straight Mark would be caught dead with that spelling outside of France. This is all to say that I don't think they were "fooling" anybody. 
  • "Artemis Smith" screams 'pseudonym.' Artemis hangs out (often naked) only with the ladies, and Smith ... is the pseudonymoustiest name in the book.
  • "Society's greatest curse?" Tell that to the legions of masturbators who bought this thing.
  • Speaking of "The Third Sex," I'm still hunting for a pre-1980s usage of the phrase "lipstick lesbian." I'll admit, I'm using "hunting" here rather loosely. What I mean is, "occasionally flipping through some books I have." Anyway, I know the phrase was in use decades before the '80s, and I want proof!

BB649bc.3rdSex
Best things about this back cover:
  • "Surcease" made me LOL hard.
  • "Strange Annals of Love" = the Judas Priest cover band Marc plays in on weekends
  • On the front cover, the naked girl in the bed looks fantastic. Here, she looks like a mermaid who's been in a bad accident.

Page 123~
They finished their coffee and left the luncheonette.
I know it's not the sexiest or most outrageous sentence in the world. I just like the word "luncheonette."

~RP

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