Paperback 889: Teen-Age Stray / Arthur Adlon (Beacon B752X)

Paperback 889: Beacon Signal B752X (PBO, 1964)

Title: Teen-Age Stray
Author: Arthur Adlon
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $15-20

Best things about this cover:

• "She was down to pennies, tears and her bikini…" Is that zeugma? I've been waiting to see zeugma again since I first learned what it was 25 years ago, in my Brit Lit II class, where we were reading Alexander Pope's "Rape of the Lock." And here we are. Zeugma!
• This whole concept is not "erotic" to me. It's depressing. Except the triumphant, happy ending where she joins the erotic world of lesbianism. I approve of that.
• … and her calves never got sunburned again.

Best things about this back cover:

• Texty!
• Rex. That's a great name! Terridy, however … that's not even a plausible name, let alone a good one.
• "...a meal, a buck, and a bed…" It honestly didn't occur to me at first that "buck" might simply refer to money.

Page 123~

"Then talk, Rex. I like you better when you talk. You warm me."

~RP

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Paperback 865: Appointment for Sin / Paul V. Russo (Midwood F217)

Paperback 865: Midwood F217 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Appointment for Sin
Author: Paul V. Russo
Cover artist: Uncredited

Est. value: $22-25

Best things about this cover:

• Suzie Masseuse's gaze is burning a hole in that washcloth.
• "Now that you're naked, just cross your feet like … like so, and now … I strum your ankles. Isn't that nice?"
• I love how Blondewig Amplebosom's like "Well is this a sin appointment or isn't it? Jeez, what's a girl gotta do to get some sin? I made an appointment and everything, and still no sin. Put my ankles down!"
• I love orange, but no. This room color is a no.

Best things about this back cover:

• Terrible tagline—stupid within
• "Editor's note" LOL. It's in typewriter font, so you know it's real.
• Winnie and April will be plenty, thanks.

Page 123~

"Some of the clients are particularly fond of the vibrating mechanism in it."
"Vib—"
Her hand closed his mouth.

~RP

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Paperback 752: French Model / Cecil Barr (Beacon B133)

Paperback 752: Beacon B133 (1st pb, 1957)

Title: French Model
Author: Cecil Barr
Cover artist: photo cover

Yours for: Not For Sale (part of the Doug Peterson Collection)


Best things about this cover:

As Doug said to me as he handed me the book: "Motorboat fail."
That guy is *totally* a Cecil.
"Starring Darrin's boss from "Bewitched" and a *very* grown-up Marcia Brady!"
His trousers are gigantic.


Best things about this back cover:

• Far, far sexier than the cover...
• ...Until you start reading the words. That's a whole lot of yuck, very very fast.
• As far as future possible aliases go … I call dibs on "Shockproof Daffodil"

Page 123~

"I'm going to watch you dress, Daffodil. Is this what you're going to wear? It's ravishing, of course, but only you could wear it. What arms, my dear, and I say, what legs! No wonder old Amy—don't rush it, darling, have a heart. Do you mean to say no soutien-gorge? But of course not. Let me—don't be a fool, Daffodil, what are you afraid of. Firm as little rocks. Ugh, you darling! I'm not one of Amy's sort, more's the pity, or what a time I should be having."

My French is a little rusty, but allow me to translate: Daffodil's lady friend/maid is watching her dress and feeling her up while wishing out loud that she was a lesbian (like the mythical "Amy") so she could … watch Daffodil dress and feel her up? It's not clear what Amy would be doing, but one imagines she'd be avoiding laughably unsexy phrases like "Firm as little rocks" and "Ugh, you darling."

~RP

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Paperback 751: The Oddballs / Stacey Clubb (Softcover Library B853X)

Paperback 751: Softcover Library B853X (PBO, 1965)

Title: The Oddballs
Author: Stacey Clubb
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: Not For Sale—part of the Doug Peterson Collection


Best things about this cover:

• "I don't think they're so odd," he said, self-consciously.
• So many questions. Such as, where has her right arm got to? Or, why their bed is a parallelogram?
• Remember the fad of wearing two differently colored stockings!? Me either.
• "You awake? … tickle tickle! … alright then, I'm just going to remove your head with my jaws now, OK? Just relax."
• "The only practical sex was unnatural sex!" — Having trouble understanding the use of the word "practical" here. "Well, see, I would just put my penis in your vagina, but … it's really not practical for me ... right now … at this juncture … you know? So, let's just bring in the elephant and the mustard and see how it goes, mkay? It's just easier that way."

Best things about this back cover:

• Shadowy = Lesbiany. In case you're unfamiliar with paperback code.
• INA, ha ha! Calling all crossword constructors, we got a live one!
• I want a business card that reads "Encourager of odd rites and practices."

Page 123~

The sting of his blow had not penetrated.

Nope, sorry, that was just the first thing I opened to. Hang on … OK, here we go:

"Bernice," he called out.

But the bikini-clad goddess who appeared casually at the top of the mezzanine stairs in response to his blithe summons was not, of course, Bernice.

If ever there was a name custom-made for softcore porn, that name is Blithe Summons.

~RP

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Paperback 724: Live With Me / Jerry M. Goff, Jr. (Merit 612)

Paperback 724: Merit Books 612 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Live With Me
Author: Jerry M. Goff, Jr.
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $27


Best things about this cover:

• I honestly don't know what I'm looking at. Unless her bra straps clasp behind her head like some kind of necklace, I can't see why her elbows are up that high. Is she making her boobs do a little dance performance? Her companion seems intrigued.
• Those are some straight-up terrible hands. Or hand, I guess. Hands are always the giveaway. Only the best artists can do hands right. The reason for the giant boobs and Krazy Eyes is to distract you from the terrible, terrible hands. 
• That left boob has a mind of its own. It seems to be experiencing the gravitational pull of the artist-lady's gaze.
• What is up with that lady's gown? Here is the dialogue I like to imagine they are having: "I like your gown." "Thank you." "Are you headed to a ball?" "Balls don't interest me much … if you know what I mean …" 

Best things about this back cover:

• Hey look, it's the artist lady, back from Barbados and possessed by twelve demons!
• "… lovely, normal and stunning …" ??? Can't wait for all the red hot normality.
• So basically Suzanne Pleshette goes on a telekinetic lesbian rampage. Got it.

Page 123~

"Tell us. Does she wash your back when you bathe? She did the other girls. That was always her first approach."

"Her second approach involved ball gowns, sketch pads, and mind control. I'm a little fuzzier on the details there…"

~RP

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Paperback 722: Strange Longing / Orrie Hitt (Chariot Books CB-1626)

Paperback 722: Chariot Books CB-1626 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Strange Longing
Author: Orrie Hitt
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $25


Best things about this cover:

• This was also the cover for Axilla Fetishist Monthly (April 1963)
• One thing about saran wrap lingerie is: the itch.
• Man I wish the girl in the dark in the back ground were more in the light in the foreground.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Oh, don't mind me, I just wandered over to this side of the room and got tangled in the drapery somehow."
• Seriously, what is happening there?
• "Bunny soft"— I'm laughing quite hard right now.
• Ladies, if you really wanna sex up your bedroom patter, call it "the portals of the 'forbidden world'!"

Page 123~

"I don't do the kind of dances they'd want."
"Who cares about dancing? The men don't come inside the tent for that."
They got into another bottle of rye and Emily paraded around the room.

~RP

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Paperback 720: That Kind of Girl / Stanley Curson (Brandon House 741)

Paperback 720: Brandon House 741 (PBO, 1965)

Title: That Kind of Girl
Author: Stanley Curson
Cover artist: [Fred Fixler]

Yours for: $35


Best things about this cover:

• Which kind of girl? Prematurely gray? Exceedingly tanned? Vinyl-loving? Shoe-collecting?
• Seriously, those shoes, in all their green-ness and out-of-context-ness, totally make this cover.
• V is for Vortex Of Forbidden Love 
• I like that Ms. Gray is making a big "V" with her arms. Why she's covering her crotch with jazz hands, I don't know.

Best things about this back cover:

• The pic itself is kind of adorable.  Hey! Lurid text! Leave those kids alone!

Page 123~

Anne gripped his organ experimentally …

OK, I cheated. This is page 122. But what was I supposed to do? Ignore this sentence? I throw myself on the mercy of the court.

~RP

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Paperback 699: Journey to a Woman / Ann Bannon (Gold Medal s977)

Paperback 699: Gold Medal s977 (PBO, 1960)

Title: Journey to a Woman
Author: Ann Bannon
Cover artist: photo cover, I think

Yours for: No. I keep. (probably worth about $60)


Best things about this cover:

• It's cruddy. But this is a novel by one of the biggest names in lesbian pulp, so I'm fond of it nonetheless.
• She's been ambered! (that reference was for "Fringe" fans only ... so, like, five of you)
• Is that text supposed to be a poem? Whose / Bright idea was it to break the / Lines that / way?

Best things about this back cover:

• Here's some important "gay" paperback code language: "half-" anything. Also, "shadows."
• Hey, I wanna go "tearing through the night on a fool's errand at the whim of a beautiful spoiled woman who had beckoned." That sounds awesome!
• "The strangely alluring woman called Vega!" — well, I've got at least one friend who will find this book interesting. A friend named 'Vega." You probably guessed that.

Page 123~

"Charlie has some idea for a new toy," Cleve went on. "He wants to call it 'The Scooth.' It's sort of a spring, a great big thing you can crawl inside or sit on top of and bounce."

Toys are important on your journey to a woman.

~RP

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Paperback 691: Tutor From Lesbos / A.P. Williams (Beacon B731X)

Paperback 691: Beacon B731X (PBO, 1964)

Title: Tutor From Lesbos
Author: A.P. Williams
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $55


Best thing about this cover:

• OK, Lesson One: how to sit in a chair.
• In order of awesome: sunglasses, butterfly chair, wig, sweater set.
• I'm imagining the frugal parents who are excited about this ad. "'No charge'! What a deal!"

Best things about this back cover:

• The question we've all been asking all our lives.
• "Love" quote unquote hahaha. Oh, Ginny, Ginny, who can I turn to ...?
• "Consider the emotions of..." Well, that's a new angle.
• "Feel the despair of..." Ditto.
• So the dad *watches*? Gross/hot.
• LOL uncontrollably at the last four sentences on this back cover.

Page 123~

[Hamilton] [...] worked at his desk until lunchtime, when he walked into several downtown shops and finally purchased an ugly gray fedora and a pair of sunglasses. These would render him inconspicuous, he figured, and enable him to blend in with the other drinkers at the lesbian bar. He had heard that dark glasses were worn as a badge by the city's questionable element.

Finally I understand why lesbians are constantly hitting on me every time I put on a fedora and sunglasses. Thank you, "Tutor From Lesbos"—aptly, you have taught me so much. Also, I would join a gang / club / sleaze appreciation society called "The Questionable Element."

~RP

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Paperback 689: The Left Hand of Satan / Mark Lucas (Saber Books SA-88)

Paperback 689: Saber Books SA-88 (PBO, 1964)

Title: The Left Hand of Satan
Author: Mark Lucas
Cover artist: Uncredited (he did a *lot* of late Sabers...) [Bill Edwards]

Yours for: $30


Best things about this cover:

• The only thing that explains the hilariously amateurish quality of this painting, with its complete disdain for perspective (how tall *is* that man?!), is that it was painted by the left hand of Satan, and Satan is right-handed.
• Don't look too long at that headboard—it will confuse you and while you are thus addled Satan will steal your soul (presumably with his left hand).
• Nick is not a plausible mate for anyone, let alone either of those ladies. 
• "I finished painting your hallway ultra-bright yellow, ma'am, I just ... oh, excuse me, ma'am, I didn't know you had company. I'll go clean your gutters now. OK? OK." [backs out slowly].
• This is post-Sanford Aday Saber. Instead of interesting, politically-minded, sexually-provocative sleaze, we now just get sleaze for sleaze's sake, i.e. dull porn. Seriously, his publishing empire went Hilariously downhill after his obscenity conviction. 

Best things about this back cover:

• "Ordained minister"—so you know this shit is going to be Filthy.
• How is anyone "born with unconventional standards"? Predilections, sure, I guess, but "standards?" Those can't be inborn. Those are culturally determined. This has been "Overthinking It," with Rex Parker. See you next week.
• "The school of Lesbians and male homosexual students is growing"—Class Sizes Are Limited, So Enroll Now!
• Never in a million years would *Aday* have published a book with this faux-moralizing judgmental crap on the back. He veered toward sympathy and understanding, where this ... ugh. "Your kids are in danger! Read this porn to find out how!"
• Who green-lighted this back cover concept. "It'll have the color gradients of Fire!" "Will it be legib...?" "Shhhh .... FIRE!"

Page 123~

"This is what I was thinking about, when I was trying to go to sleep. How could I go to sleep when ever muzzle in my body was begging for you?" 

"The word is muscle, baby, and when I get started with you, you won't be able to say scat,"Nick said, taking her into his arms.

Ever muzzle in my gut wants to say scat to this guy.

~RP

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Paperback 685: Swapping Society / Jack Woods (Corsair Books 216)

Paperback 685: Corsair Books 216 (PBO, 1968)

Title: Swapping Society
Author: Jack Woods
Cover artist: Uncredited. Feels like somebody famous, but I can't remember his name... [possibly Bill Ward or Gene Bilbrew or Eric Stanton]

Yours for: Not for Sale [part of the Doug Peterson Collection]


Best things about this cover:

• Glenda will not have her magnificent buttcheeks upstaged by some young hippie's perky rack. Back to the dorms with you and your left boob, Missy.
• How is this vampire different from all other vampires? Well, Missy, she's about to show you.
• Not sure how this cover can be so sexed-up and yet feel so dull. It's like people dressed for an orgy but decided to reenact a routine medical exam instead.
• Behold this imprint! I'd never even heard of Corsair until Doug handed me this book last weekend. Skull & crossbones = righteous.

Best things about this back cover:

• A lesbian dominatrix who's into BDSM? That's what's called hitting the alt.sex jackpot, paperbackwise.
• Ha ha, "You." Gotta love second-person cover copy. It's like a Choose Your Own Adventure (which ... would be ... the greatest thing ever ...).
• "Plunge Into the Aberrant Happenings" should be some state's motto. Nebraska? I'm looking at you...
• And the winner of all typos is .... [drum roll] ... UNCERTAINTLY! Pick up your check at the door, buddy. You earned it!

Page 123~

"They let's go, darling," Linda whispered, smearing her wet lips over his cheek. "I need a real man to take care of me—as hot as I am right now. And I'm sure you can do the job with flying colors."

Sorry, Linda, you lost me at "smearing."

~RP

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Paperback 683: Big Heat / Unknown (All Star Books AS 531)

Paperback 683: All Star Books AS 531 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Big Heat
Author: No author credit? Seriously? Not even on the title page or anywhere?
Cover artist: too sad to think about

Yours for: Not for Sale [Part of the Doug Peterson Collection]


Best things about this cover:

• Several things. First: peach?
• Second: the most offensive thing about this cover—his shirt. Actually, probably all of him, but especially his shirt.
• I am enjoying her stockings.
• I like (seriously, like) how they start her off at "Twice."

Best things about this back cover:

• BIG HEAT! Comin' atcha! 3 times!
• In what universe is the phrase "giant breasts falling free of her halter" erotic or titillating? It makes me want to shout "Run!" to all the endangered villagers.
• Hmm. If you're looking to find a man who could release you from the tortured lust of being a lesbian, I'm not sure reckless affairs with other women is the way to go about it. "I keep having reckless affairs with other women, but so far, no luck on the man front. What am I doing wrong!?"
• Ah, "unnatural" and "twisted," my favorite code words. How you guys doin'? Good to see you again.

Page 123~

"Christ, what's the matter with me?" he said. "Blowing my stack over some dumb kid in hick fishing camp!"

Wow. Did not see those last three words coming.

Here's some bonus footage, which I tweeted last night—from the preview page inside the front cover:

Her breasts were enormous bombs of powdered white flesh, tipped with crimson tidbits the size of plums.

The Crimson Tidbits were also a moderately successful doo-wop group from the late-50s.

~RP

P.S. this book appears to be ... short stories. But with no table of contents and no author credit and no apparent dignity, who's to say?

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Paperback 619: The Odd Kind / Arthur Adlon (Beacon B492F)

Paperback 619: Beacon Books B492F (PBO, 1962)

Title: The Odd Kind
Author: Arthur Adlon
Cover artist: Milo

From The Doug Peterson Collection (recent addition)


Best things about this cover:

• This title answers the question: "What kind of face did the angry lesbian ghost have?"
• "Ancient rituals" is some through-the-looking-glass euphemism. I guess it's tied to some idea of ancient Lesbos. Or child sacrifice. One or the other.
• This artist liked to get his models so drunk they pass out. Then wait. Then just as they're awakening from their stupor, bam—paint them!
• This model's stupor must be considerable. I mean, normally, when a murderous, vengeful, crudely painted ghost materializes in your bedroom in a big cloud of smoke, you'd turn around and look.

Best things about this back cover:

• Whoa. "Bisexual." You don't see that word a lot on paperbacks. Interesting.
• Re: LA MODENA—The "town in Italy" thing kind of undermines the whole "strange name" thing. "Oooh, your name's so strange." "It's a town in Italy." "Oh ... I see."
• Oh, sure, LA MODENA is "strange," but *that* dude's name is *totally* normal.
• I have flipped through this book and that question, "did they want him or each other?" Well, it's each other ... for a while. But then it's him. Pam dies. LA MODENA and Jorge end up together. P.S. Spoiler alert.

Page 123~

Mod laughed nervously. "What will you tell them, baby?"

"How the hell do I know, until they ask me?" Pam answered half seriously. She swung around and regarded Mod critically. "You don't expect me to get up and announce I got married—to a girl—do you?"

~RP

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Paperback 566: Sin's Child / Tony Calvano (Sundown Reader 619)

Paperback 566: Sundown Reader 619 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Sin's Child
Author: Tony Calvano
Cover artist: No idea

Yours for: $20

Best things about this cover:

• I love boobs as much as the next guy (or gal), but those things are horrifying. Massively dimorphic and nipple-less and two-toned. Actually, I could probably acclimate to the boobs if I could get past the face, which is an interesting combination of ashen, drunk and judgey: "Chyaaaa ... you guys call that 'shirtless fighting'? I'll show ya shirtless fighting ... just lemme pull my underwears out of my crack and I'll shows you guys ... [burp] ..."
• "Your Warrior 3 pose sucks, maggot! Hiiiiya!"
• "Yeah, yeah, you can fly, Bill, I get it. Could you just, I dunno, fly *that* way ... away from me. I gotta go rescue Suzy."

Best things about this back cover:

• Answering the question: what causes shamelessness?
• "OK, I can care for you, but ... well, I gotta take you somewhere, and you're not gonna like it."
• Face of Evil. Yes. That is an apt description of what I witnessed on the front cover.

Page 123~

"When two people are in love, when they've committed themselves to each other ... Nothing they do in the name of that love is wrong ... there is no such thing as perversion. If it strengthens that love, if it enhances the final ecstasy of that love ... Can you understand that, angel?"
"I think so. Only ..."
"No qualifications, kitten. Either you accept the whole package [!] or you don't. What do you say?"

I'm somehow imagining this happening on a game show stage, with the audience shouting variations on "Take the package!" or "Noooooooooooooooooo!"

~RP

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P.S. many thanks to Doug Peterson for continuing to send me nutso stuff like this...

Paperback 565: The Third Sex / Artemis Smith (Beacon 649)

Paperback 565: Beacon Books B649F (2nd ptg, 1963)

Title: The Third Sex
Author: Artemis Smith
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $25
Best things about this cover:

• Joan was excited about embarking on her new life as a Lesbian superhero, but disappointed at the costume prototype.
• Seriously, in what context, outside magician's assistant, would one wear that?
• You can tell Joan is gay because she's named after the famous lesbian heroine Joan of Arc. You can tell Marc is gay because no straight Mark would be caught dead with that spelling outside of France. This is all to say that I don't think they were "fooling" anybody. 
• "Artemis Smith" screams 'pseudonym.' Artemis hangs out (often naked) only with the ladies, and Smith ... is the pseudonymoustiest name in the book.
• "Society's greatest curse?" Tell that to the legions of masturbators who bought this thing.
• Speaking of "The Third Sex," I'm still hunting for a pre-1980s usage of the phrase "lipstick lesbian." I'll admit, I'm using "hunting" here rather loosely. What I mean is, "occasionally flipping through some books I have." Anyway, I know the phrase was in use decades before the '80s, and I want proof!

Best things about this back cover:

• "Surcease" made me LOL hard.
• "Strange Annals of Love" = the Judas Priest cover band Marc plays in on weekends
• On the front cover, the naked girl in the bed looks fantastic. Here, she looks like a mermaid who's been in a bad accident.

Page 123~

They finished their coffee and left the luncheonette.

I know it's not the sexiest or most outrageous sentence in the world. I just like the word "luncheonette."

~RP

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Paperback 515: The Sexually Promiscuous Female / Benjamin Morse, M.D. (Monarch MB 535)

Paperback 515: Monarch Books MB 535 (PBO, 1963)

Title: The Sexually Promiscuous Female
Author: Dr. Benjamin Morse, M.D.
Cover artist: Photo cover

Yours for: Not for Sale (gift to the collection from Doug Peterson)


Best things about this cover:

• I don't know who this woman is, but ... we would like to announce that we are in love.
• Sorry, Dr. Morse, your "alarming" report is not quelling my desire to go on a cross-country crime jag with Tina here.
• Love the uneven lettering! This is what happens when you shout "PROMISCUOUS" as you leap from a moving train, which you have robbed because you are on a cross-country crime jag with Tina.
• Sexy sunglasses. Gorgeous gams. Casual footwear. All the trademarks of the modern-day whore.
• She'd be in her late-70s today. So if I'm gonna find her, I better act quick.
• Dr. Morse is (according to the title page) also author of "The Lesbian," which I believe had the famous subtitle: "Or So I Imagine"

Best things about this back cover:

• "Frigidity"?! Oh, come ON!
• "Penetrating"!? Really? Phrasing!
• I love how this book's all "beware this trend" when no one, and I mean no one, buying this book is going to see "The Promiscuous Female" as a problem. More like "... and I can find her ... where? You know, to, er, talk her out of her, uh ... lifestyle. Yeah. That's what I'll do. So what's her number?"

Page 123~

A period of unpaid promiscuity, with all its attendant minor heartbreaks, soon conditions the girl to the point where she wants to strike back at the men who have taken advantage of her.

So ... like a promiscuity internship? Nice. Where does one get ... those?

~RP

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Paperback 510: Strange Thirsts / Michael Norday (Beacon Books B662X)

Paperback 510: Beacon Books B662X (2nd ptg, 1963)

Title: Strange Thirsts
Author: Michael Norday
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: Not for sale (donation to the collection from Doug Peterson)


Best things about this cover:

• This book, and the next few I'll feature on this blog, are all gifts from my friend Doug Peterson. He brings me new books almost every time I see him, and my recent trip to Brooklyn was no exception. My wife had to accept this particular round of gifts, as I was out of commission with vicious food poisoning, but I'm sure he (and everyone) knows how grateful I am.
• I guess I've seen one too many of these semi-suggestive lesbian covers, because the only thing I can see are the blonde's crazy leprechaun shoes. I hope those are for "the annual college play," because if she's wearing those on the street, people are going to chase her and demand to know where she keeps her gold.
• I hope "Strange Thirsts" refers to the blonde's irresistible compulsion to drink the brunette's bath water.
• I like my lesbian paperbacks to be somewhat more provocative than this. Hardly any flesh, even. A couple of tiny slivers of cleavage. Come on. A lesbian paperback cover's lasting impression should not be bathroom tile, house plants, and seriously flamboyant footwear.

Best things about this back cover:

• Yeah, yeah, "warped." You said that on the front cover.
• "Imported," HA ha. "Hey, did the new shipment of Zane Hunter come in yet?"
• "Dale, for relief, turned to pretty Julie Hilton." For relief? Relief from What? The sexual attention of a glamorous actress?
• I like that Julie enjoyed "questionable ecstasies." "You call those ecstasies? Hmm. I'm dubious."
• "Baby-skinned"is a horrifying adjective.
• "Dale, get in here. You *gotta* see this degradation..."
• "Probes deeply, boldly, into forbidden areas." That's what I call obvuendo!

Page 123~

There were times when her flesh seemed unable to wait for the completion that he would give it with his own.

So he's going to give her flesh completion? With his own flesh? His own completion? But the whole paragraph is about how they're *not* having sex because they're waiting for marriage ... only the very next chapter is entitled "Menage à Trois"! Crazy college kids.

~RP

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Paperback 495: Bridge of Sand / Frank Gruber (Bantam S3926)

Paperback 495: Bantam S3926 (1st ptg, 1969)

Title: Bridge of Sand
Author: Frank Gruber
Cover artist: Uncredited [Sanford Kossin]

Yours for: $12

Best things about this cover:

• Very late for my collection. I own it because a. it has a fully painted cover (in an era when these were giving way to the Tyranny of Text—branding/author's name inflation); and b. it's by Frank Gruber, writing here at the tail end of a loooooong career that began in the pulps (his "Pulp Jungle"—a memoir of his early writing career, is very much worth reading).
• That said, I don't love this painting, or, more specifically, this color scheme. It definitely conveys "oppressively hot and sandy," but I just end up wishing I had clearer views of all the interesting characters. Dude in the fez wants his time in the spotlight!
• World's tiniest minarets, stage left.
• Apparently this guy's gun holds hand lotion: "Damn dry Egyptian weather ... wreaks havoc on my soft skin."

Best things about this back cover:

• "Amazonian lesbian!" Top that. You can't. Game over.
• VENGEANCE! My penchant for tales of vengeance probably also had something to do with my buying this book.
• I call this painting "Someone Really Doesn't Like Brown Mustard."
• Violence should not come in "potpourri" form. Really hard to take seriously.
• "Fills the cauldron of suspense ... decants the wine of mystery ... warms the tea kettle of perversion ... etc.!"

Page 123~

It was in Ahmed Fosse's power to reveal that fame to Charles Holterman, to dangle the possibility of it before Holterman, and then ... to destroy it, just before he killed Holterman.

Ahmed knew a little bit about fame from his brother Bob. Also, this paragraph really needs one more "Holterman."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 475: Sex in the Shadows / Randy Salem (Beacon B799X)

Paperback 475: Beacon Books B799X (PBO, 1965)

Title: Sex in the Shadows
Author: Randy Salem
Cover artist: Al Rossi

Yours for: $50

Best thing about this cover:

• "Fine, turn away, but you're never going to miss these painted-on capris, baby, I promise you!"
• "'According to Jim!?' You're watching 'According to Jim!?' You disgust me. I'm going to Margo's."
• Wait, is Ivy the older lesbian's name? Or do older lesbians prowl the way that ivy ... prowls ... up the walls of colleges and ballpark walls?
• "Gee, my hair smells terrific."
• I'm still trying to work out the symbolism of the orange throw pillow.

Best things about this back cover:

• "... and certainly no hero ..." is a great line. "Don't worry—no man parts for as far as the eye can see!"
• Searching! Scorching! It's not Frank! But it does have a character named Francine, which is something.
• I know that when I think of lesbians, the first image that pops into my head is: brawls.

Page 123~

I was thinking of Martha and me and how we must look to that wise old moon—just two more grains of sand on a desolate stretch of beach, two flecks of nothingness.

"Two Flecks of Nothingness" should've been the title — "It's like Seuss meets Sartre meets coastal lesbians," says Michiko Kakutani

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 473: Warped / Michael Norday (Beacon B280)

Paperback 473: Beacon B 280 (PBO, 1955)

Title: Warped
Author: Michael Norday
Cover artist: Clement Micarelli

Yours for: $50

Best things about this cover:

• This is some golden age, bullseye, right over the plate, vintage lesbian paperback amazingness. Fantastic art, cool staggered-letter title design, and cover copy that alliterates like there's no tomorrow. Plus great lesbian code words like "twilight" and "twisted" and "strange" and "tormented" and "warped"; roughly half the vintage lesbian paperbacks in existence have at least one of these words in their titles (I made that stat up, but it feels right)
• I love the dramatic tension between these two women—the knowing, smug, hungry eyes of the tomboyish old pro, and the coy-yet-curious eyes of the frillier girl in the foreground. Her guarded posture suggests modesty, but her exposed and pushed-up boobs and her visible garters suggest ... something else. 
• That is one ugly bed. And pillowcase. They are far too hot to be making out in grandma's bed.

Best things about this back cover:

• Again, great design. A bit text-heavy, but I love the pink touches.
• I applied to Fern Mar, but got rejected. Dames only, apparently. I am, however, only too familiar with the "disgrace of an unwholesome campus weekend."
• Hell yeah, passion-ridden women!

Page 123~

A sudden panic swept over her. She remembered the look in Estrada's eyes when he had talked about Gwen up at O'Keefe's training camp. A sudden fury burst inside her. "Damn you! Where is she? Where—"

"Relax, baby. Relax."

Wait, lesbians have training camps? That's awesome.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]