Paperback 975: The House That Stood Still / A.E. Van Vogt (Paperback Library 63-016)

Paperback 975: Paperback Library 63-016 (2nd ptg, 1968)

Title: The House That Stood Still
Author: A.E. Van Vogt
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $8-10
Condition: 9/10

Best things about this cover:

• "Pete... do you see that?" "What?" "That house ... it's not moving. It's just ... sitting there." "Dear God! You're right! Call for backup."
• "DO NOT LOOK BEHIND THE MASK OR YOU WILL SEE THE TERRIFYING VISAGE OF ... Shelley? Shelley from Accounting? What are you doing here?"
• That ziggurat is gonna want to have that growth looked at.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Obliterate the universe from the heavens"? This doesn't sound ... right.
• Immortals are always trashing shit and running away.
• That last sentence needs a huge spoiler alert. Why would I want to read now?

Page 123~

"What's the good of having a forty-year-old heart and a ninety-year-old liver?"

~RP

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Paperback 506: The Man Inside (Milo March Mystery 4) / M.E. Chaber (Paperback Library 63-213)

Paperback 506: Paperback Library 63-213 (1st ptg, 1970)

Title: The Man Inside (Milo March Mystery 4)
Author: M. E. Chaber
Cover artist: Robert McGinnis

Yours for: $5

Best things about this cover:

• Yes, Lee Marvin likes your see-through sarong very much.
• Seriously, this guy is my hero. I want his rough-hewn throne, his shirt, his, let's say, bourbon, and his, let's say, companion.
• The art deco-ish font is ... odd. Not throne-odd, but odd.
• Where Is Her Other Shoe!?

Best things about this back cover:

• Hell Yeah Wenching! 
• I want a sweater made of Chaber yarn.
• "You need not be told ..." HA ha. That wins "Most Unnecessary Blurb."

Page 123~

"Homicide is sending a man. Maybe they've already sent him. I threw around as much weight as I could and I think he'll look you up before he does anything, but don't expect any more than that. I don't think he'll give you any cooperation."

"I never expect any from a cop," I said.

Ooh, a quipster who plays by his own rules. He's the Die Hard of his generation.

~RP

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Paperback 463: Mr. Madam: Confessions of a Male Madam / Kenneth Marlowe (Paperback Library 55-857)

Paperback 463: Paperback Library 55-857 (1st ptg, 1965)

Title: Mr. Madam: Confessions of a Male Madam
Author: Kenneth Marlowe
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $9

Best things about this cover:

• Oh good, an Adult Autobiography. I always hate it when children try to write autobiography. Grow up first, you self-involved whiners!
• How can a book with this subject matter and this title have a cover this terrible. I mean, consider some other covers (which I just found, while trolling the internet):

[Hairdresser of the stars!? Why is this info not on my paperback!?]

• Kenneth Marlowe was also a female impersonator. More pics:

 

And now the back cover:

Best things about this back cover:

• Ugh. A chalkboard drawing? Is this supposed to be a "twilight man?"
• Not even the word "frank" to appease me. I hate this book (cover). [I just opened the book and the very first phrase on the very first page is "Uncompromisingly frank," so I feel a little better]

Page 123~

"You all try to help 'Frenchy' get dates, girls. Oh, be sure to remember to call him 'Frenchy.' If you get a date with a John, tell him that for five bucks extra you can have Frenchy sent in. Tell the trick, 'Let Frenchy come in and work on me. It makes me go wild!' That'll work the John up. Or, for $10 he'll work both you and the John. Well, I don't have to tell most of you how to manage it. Use your imaginations. Frenchy will, of course, be working all the exhibitions."

To its credit, this book does get pretty dang 'frank' (esp. by 1965 standards). Why it's not called "FRENCHY!"—with accompanying super-campy picture—I just don't understand.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]