Crave

 It's interesting-- the foods people crave when they're not allowed to eat-- Like my mom who's still in the hospital (29 days and counting) and on a diet limited to chicken broth, cream of wheat, and Jello. 

When the time came for a more substantial meal, her very first request was a Dairy Queen chocolate milkshake with whipped cream and a cherry on top.  I literally ran out of the hospital and into a hail/snow/sleet/thunderstorm to get her one on Thursday.

And in the blink of an eye it was totally consumed leaving a smile on Mom's face (for the first time in a very long time) as she practically purred the word "Delicious!"

For more Sundays In My City click HERE

What would you crave?

PS  I was in Ohio again all this past week and I'm heading there again on Friday so I'll be scarce in these parts for a while.  Please keep Mom in your prayers for healing and strength.

Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna Jenkins

I'm Not In Charge

Just when I thought life was about to get back to my normal routine, I was reminded that I'm not in charge... Not even a little.  Here's what I've been up to and a few things I've learned along the way.

1.  Three weeks ago I got a cold.   It was 90 degrees outside.  Since then I've been drinking cough syrup like it's my job and gone through about 2 dozen boxes of tissues. 

2.  Then totally out of the blue and for no reason at all, I'm getting a stabbing feeling in my right calf followed by what feels like an electric shock-- a really long and painful electric shock in my calf-- and then it just stops.  Completely.  Like it never happened.  At first I thought I was dreaming (while wide awake) but it kept happening over and over.  I have an appointment with the doctor in November-- because it's not "an emergency".  In the meantime, I'm randomly grabbing my leg in pain and trying not to look like a nut case.

3.  Two weeks ago I boarded an airplane with a wonky leg and wearing a surgical mask so as not to infect fellow passengers with my cold.  I discovered said fellow passengers still do not want to sit with me.  When fellow passengers threw a nasty hissy fit they got to have the center seat I was supposed to sit in all to themselves.  I got to sit in Business Class... Where I slept like a baby and never coughed once during the nearly 5 hour flight.

4.  Upon arriving in Cleveland, Ohio from #3's plane ride, I immediately drove like a wild woman to the hospital where my mother is recovering from an emergency surgery.  She's holding her own but has a long road to recovery ahead.  Please keep her in your prayers.

5.  While at the hospital with mom (still wearing a surgical mask along with about ten gallons of antibacterial lotion 100% of the time) I realized it was the same hospital I worked in 36 years ago when I first graduated from high school.  The only thing that's the same after all these years are the elevators-- the ones I used to (and continued to on this trip) get stuck in on a regular basis.

6.  I discovered hospital food is now delivered by folks wearing Fast Food-type uniforms who say "Room Service" when bringing patients their food tray.  I laughed out loud at that one.

7.  I miss the good old days when your actual doctor-- the one who knows you personally because he's treated you for years and has all your medical history-- was still your doctor while IN the hospital.  Now they have "Hospitalists" who make the rounds on every patients in the hospital for your doctor.  Yes, these are smart docs but really... these docs are over worked and have no knowledge of a patient's PAST medical history, they are simply treating the patient TODAY.  It's unsettling when you ask a Hospitalist treating your mother a question about her medical state and a blank stare is received in return-- Followed by a lengthy reminder to the doctor of your mother's medical history.

8.  I think my sisters and I earned gold stars for not knocking the Hospitalists on their butts more than a few times.

9.  That is, except for Mom's surgeon-- Dr. Blue Eyes.  He is awesome, and very cute.  I think our mother would like to take him home with her when she's discharged... Which won't be for a very long time so until then she's enjoying flirting with him shamelessly on a daily basis. 

10. Beware when a hospital offers Valet Parking that is staffed by 80 year old volunteers as a fund-raising opportunity.  It's best to park your own car, even in a blinding rainstorm with a leg that feels like it's being electrocuted.  I'm just sayin'.

11. Are you a "The Big Bang Theory" TV show fan?  If so, then you will appreciate how sweet it was to hear two different generations of my family sing "Soft Kitty" to my mom.

12. Nurses are angels.  Truly-- There is nothing better than a good nurse.  Be nice to them.  And bring them black ink pens.  Everyone is always taking their pens, especially Hospitalists.

Hope you are doing great! 
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com - Joanna Jenkins
Photo Credit: © John Takai - Fotolia.com and © notkoo2008 - Fotolia.com

Fully Accessorized

Living in Los Angeles and being close to the entertainment industry, I've seen more than my share of rich fashionistas strutting their stuff.  They seem to be everywhere-- And not just on Rodeo Drive or at The Beverly Hills Hotel.  They're at the grocery store, the pharmacy, even the gas station-- all dressed to the hilt and fully accessorized as if they walked off the pages of a trendy fashion magazine.

Impeccable high-end designer clothing, gorgeous shoes, expensive handbags and perfectly coiffed hair and make-up, not to mention to-die-for jewelry-- are the norm for these gals-- Along with youth and beauty, of course.

Me? Most days I'm in Levi jeans, a white blouse, preferably without my lunch splattered on it, and comfortable shoes.  I carry the same blue backpack style purse regardless of what I'm wearing, and unless it's cold out, I don't even wear a scarf let alone "accessories".  No designer labels in sight and for the most part, I'm perfectly okay with that.  But I admit these totally put together ladies can be intimidating on occasion.

As if I'm not "fashion challenged" enough, I've discovered it's increasingly popular to have your house decked out in designer accessories too!
 
Case in point.  This little Fiat 500 Gucci car that is always sparkling clean and parked fashionably in front of my neighbor's house.

Seriously-- See those green and red strips-- That's signature Gucci.  On.  A.  Car!

Since I don't have a Gucci handbag it's doubtful I'll ever have a Gucci Fiat parked in my driveway but the bar in da 'hood has been raised. 

Maybe I'll plant some geraniums and call us even.  Ha!

 For more Sundays In My City stop by and see 

Unknown Mami

How's your weekend?
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com - Joanna Jenkins

Ho Ho Huh?

It's not the season for Santa yet, although I have already seen TV Christmas commercials from K-Mart.  (Grrrrr!)  But apparently it is time for Jolly Old St. Nick to audition at 20th Century Fox Studios near our home.  Who knows what for, (a movie perhaps?) but these guys were leaving the Studio on Thursday and walking up the main boulevard this past week.  Like any (crazy) dedicated blogger, I pulled over and asked to take their picture.  By the way, it was 87 degrees that day!

I hope no kids saw them because it would really burst their bubble to learn Santa drives a blue Honda SUV.

For more Sundays In My City by Unknown Mami, click HERE.

How's your Sunday going?

Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna Jenkins

Lost In The Parking Garage

When the alarm went off at 6:30 this morning, I had to remind myself that I had an 8 o'clock training session at the Apple Store.  Mornings are not my fave time of day and kick-starting my brain for a computer class was not high on my priority list.  But, if you've ever been in an Apple Store, you know the place is usually always crowded and loud-- but not at 8AM before the store opens, thus my appointment.

The store is located in an upscale, outdoor shopping mall and also includes a high end grocery store plus a massive, multi-level, underground parking garage that I many or may not have been lost in a few hundred times over the years.

My session was going along swimmingly and I was picking up bits and pieces of info on my new MacBook Pro (which I LOVE!) when a lovely woman, probably in her 70s-- gorgeous actually, and very elegant-- came into the store clearly upset.  She reminded me of Catherine Deneuve and had the same lovely accent that sounds like a delicious melody despite her unsettled demeanour.

Apparently the woman had had an Apple training session the night before. Afterward she packed up her laptop and stopped by the grocery store.  After filling her cart with food for the week, she skipped the valet parking attendants who help load your groceries into your car and opted to do it herself.

Somehow in the process, she forgot to take her laptop out of the "kid's seat" in the front of the cart and drove off with her computer still in the cart in the parking garage.  She didn't realize her mistake until well after she'd driven home, unloaded her groceries, cooked dinner and had a bath.  In other words, there wasn't a  snowball's chance in hell she would drive back to the mall and still find her cart with the laptop.

Many frantic phone calls to the grocery store and mall security to no avail, she was at the Apple Store bright and early in hopes that some upstanding citizen might have found it, done the right thing, and dropped the laptop off at the Apple Store.

That did not happen.

So there she was, disappointed, upset and embarrassed by her mistake.  The Apple guy, as they always are, was fabulous and helped her "lock her computer" so who ever had it wouldn't be able to use it.  This process included typing a message to appear on the screen telling the thief where to return her computer.

The Apply guy typed with purpose, almost pounding on the keys-- in all bold letters as if to make a stern "I really mean it!" statement.

RETURN THIS COMPUTER TO THE APPLE STORE AT XYZ MALL NOW!!!!!!!!!!

The lovely French woman thought about it for a moment and said in her elegant voice, "That seems rather harsh."  The Apple guy, who was about 22 justified his strong message and commented that he left out a few choice words.

The woman stepped in, erased his message and typed...

Would you please be so kind as to return my computer to the Apple Store at --- mall.  If that is not possible, would you please take a moment and email the photos of my darling grandchildren that can be found in iPhoto to (email address).  I would be most appreciative.
Thank you.

In all honesty, I doubt the computer or photos will ever be seen again but I was impressed by how this lovely woman kept her grace even under difficult circumstances.

If it was me, I'd have said something like...

If you can read message you have my computer which means...

1) Are a really, really great person trying to find the rightful owner. (Me!)  Your karma will be off the carts fantastic if you would kindly return it to the Apple Store.  Please and thank you very much!

2) You've already hacked into my accounts and stolen my identity which means you're greatly disappointed in my net worth and music selection on iTunes.

3) You've wiped my cherished photos clean and already sold the laptop on eBay-- You suck-- Plain and simple.  If your mother knew, she'd slap you across the face and kick you to the curb.

4) Your conscious is eating away at your brain and if you don't do the right thing by returning my laptop, locus, lice, and bedbugs will arrive at your doorstep and in your car before the sun sets.  Seriously.  There's still time to save yourself by returning my computer.  (Pretty please.)

5) If you don't return my computer, for the rest of your life you will know you are a dirty, rotten, thief and you will never, ever, be able to wash that stink off. 

So please, PLEASE, drop off my computer ASAP before you hear the locus buzzing.

What would you say?
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna Jenkins
Photo credit: © Luis Louro - Fotolia.com

Fall Shoe Shopping

There are usually two grueling, unbearably hot weeks in Southern California when I wish I had air conditioning and/or lived somewhere else-- like in a place where it was starting to feel like Fall.   This is one of those weeks.  As if on cue when the calendar turned to September, SoCal is getting blasted with a gigantic heatwave with temps teetering near 100 for the foreseeable future.

I'm spending a lot of time in the pool-- So much time I'm beginning to resemble a prune.

What I'd rather be doing is tossing the flip flops into the back of my closet while I'm pulling out sweaters and shoes and all things cozy.

Actually what I'd rather be doing is shoe shopping-- cuz this girl can always shop for shoes-- in a well air conditioned mall!

But "shoe shopping" has new meaning now with my acting feet requiring more "sensible" shoes.  Sensible does not make shoe shopping nearly as fun as it used to and honestly was a little depressing.  I was instantly shorter without my high heels and dressed a little more matronly than my 55 year old self preferred.

I must have complained about my aching foot and new-- ahem, "fashion style", or lack thereof, a bit too much (sorry about that) because the nice folks at Dansko contacted me and asked if I'd try out a pair of shoes from their lovely new Fall collection.  "Heck yes!" I said and these beauties arrived in my mailbox.

Pretty cute for a pair of "good for you" shoes, don't you think!?!  It's the Dansko Franka cross-strap low cut bootie with a 3 1/2 heel and their signature cushioned footbed.  Man-oh-man, are they comfortable!
 
I'm loving feeling taller again and, dare I say, far hipper in my new booties.  As soon as things cool off in these parts, I'll be wearing them with an outfit like this....  It gives me something to look forward too as this is really how I used to dress.  Kinda classic, kinda hip and able to dress up or down with jewelry.

I'm so happy!

Thanks to Dansko for the cool shoes!  You can find them and all the Dansko styles HERE or HERE on Facebook.  Or, if you're far more techno savvy then me, you can follow then on Twitter @Dansko

Are you ready to dress for Fall?
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com - Joanna Jenkins

Seriously, I'm asking...

I've been around the block enough times to know right from wrong.  I understand the importance of kindness, tolerance and patience.  And, I'm generally considered by friends and family to be a smart woman with a big heart whose manners are quite good.  If I drank hot tea, I'd hold my pinky out, my napkin is always in my lap at meals, I offer my chair to an elder, and I always bring a hostess gift to parties.  In short, I know life's "rules" and mostly play by them.

So why, for the life of me, can I not figure out the rules of etiquette for a funeral?

Yes-- A funeral.

I have been to countless funerals over the years and have rarely been stumped by one particular "situation" that continously comes up.  Since I'm not getting any younger and neither are my friends and loved ones, I know I will come across this situation again, so perhaps you can help.

Here's what I'm talking about...  And yes, all names have been changed to protect the innocent and I've combined more than one funeral where this question came up.

John passed away.

John and Jan were married for 30 years and had 5 children before divorcing after all the kids were through college and out of the house.  They've been divorced for more than 25 years.  Their children are now grown and all are well on their way to "middle age", with a few having already crossed the 50 year old milestone so they are not "kids".  John and Jan have not spoken more than ten words in the last 25 years so needless to say (no pun intended) it was not a pleasant divorce although they were civil when the necessity required them to both be in the same place at the same time.

Ex-wife Jan now lives with Bob and has for the past 20 years.  She had no intention of marrying Bob because if she did her alimony would cease.  This was a particular bone of contention for John.

John married a second time to a woman named Sue.  They celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary shortly before John very unexpectedly passed away.  They had no children together.  Jan has never spoken a word to new wife Sue and neither have ever been to the other's home.

Of John and Jan's five adult children, three are currently divorced from their (for back of a better term) "original" spouses.  All are either remarried or in long-term relationships.  One has elementary school-aged children.  The other two have college-aged children.  Tension between the ex-spouses definitely exists.   But, the ex-spouses of the adult children had a good relationship with John before he passed away.

And that bring us to my funeral etiquette questions.

Ex-spouses.  Who attends the funeral? 

Do the ex-spouses come back to the family home (John and Sue's house) after the funeral for a meal with everyone else? 

Is the comfort (or discomfort as the case may be) of the grieving widow and adult children a factor to be considered by the ex-spouses resulting in them not attending/participating? 

Where do the ex-spouses sit at the funeral?  (With the family/adult kids in front?)

Do the ex-spouses bring their current partners with them to the funeral and/or home for a meal? 

And how long should an ex-spouse wait to ask for the Death Certificate so he/she can cash in their life insurance policy on the deceased?

What do you think?
Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna Jenkins
Photo Credit: © chesky - Fotolia.com

The Best Of Times, The Worst Of Times...

It's County Fair time back home in Ohio and the pics coming my way have been a real treat.  It makes being homesick a little easier...

And the photos help (or is it distract from?) the deep sadness we feel at the passing of our very dear friend, Bill, after a short illness.  Our hearts are heavy and we miss him terribly.

And now for your viewing enjoyment...

Great Nieces E (age 3) and O (age 2) loved spending time together at the Fair.

E took off her tiara and put on a helmet to win a ribbon in her first horse show-- Which basically included being lead around the ring by her big cousin, but still, that's one huge horse for a little peanut!

One of their horses is known as "The One-Eyed Wonder" because, well, he only has one eye.  So when they did a fun 4-H horse show, my nieces dressed up as-- what else-- One-eyed Pirates!

Niece A won 4-H Outstanding Youth (along with lots of ribbons in horse shows)!  Two days later she was on her way to Ohio State University for her first year of college!  I still can't believe it.  

(And neither can her mother.  A is the baby of the family.)

We were lucky enough to have Niece K (Pirate on the right above) spend a week with us in sunny California.  It was her first visit here and we had a blast seeing all the sights, including the beach.  She's a senior at Ohio State this year.

And I made this quilt top called Glam Clams by pattern designer Latifah Saafir on Saturday.  Latifah taught a fab class at Sew Modern loaded with the tips and tricks to stitch this together.  

It still needs quilted but I'm thrilled with it.

All fabric from Sew Modern in Los Angeles.

Thanks for letting me brag and please, say a prayer for Bill and his wife and family.

Welcome to www.TheFiftyFactor.com  -  Joanna Jenkins