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Not news: Woman holds dinner parties. News: Paralysed woman holds dinner parties while in a seven-foot long, 800-lb iron lung that she's been in for 61 years |
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Government shutdown got your national monuments looking a little run down? Have no fear, Lawnmower man is here |
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Man found dead in apartment with clothes piled on top of him and hardened cement on top of the clothing and body. His death is "considered suspicious" |
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Doctors were able to successfully perform heart surgery on a 25-week-old fetus after practicing on: a) computer models, b) life-like dolls, or c) a grape? |
| (Some Guy) |
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Challenge: Improve this still life |
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Dear Americans: Your country is shutting down, your leaders are about to crash your economy and turn America into Mad Max times. Here are 16 reasons to move to Europe. What are you waiting for? |
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Man jailed for recording co-worker with breast pump. Next time he'll use a tape recorder |
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Chelsea Manning rejects 'pacifist' labels says she prefers Agent Provocateur |
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How reading makes you a better person. Don't ask me, I didn't read it |
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The six worst things you can say to a friend that's unemployed. List fails for not including: "Isn't it your turn to pick up the check?" |
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Brother, can you spare a panhandling permit? |
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Cop insists he had a very good reason to taser an 8-year-old girl |
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Maybe high schoolers just aren't ready to perform a play about a man who falls in love with a goat and has sex with it |
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Just so we are clear on this: "go play in traffic" is intended as as a sarcastic expression NOT something you should ACTUALLY MAKE YOUR CHILD DO as punishment |
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Spam flavored macadamia nuts. Because "it seemed like a good idea" |
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A list of the most dangerous stations on the DC Metro. No, they're not all on the Green Line |
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Pat Robertson admits he's an "old fuddy-duddy" who doesn't know what transgender means, attacks trans people anyway |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these elated eaters |
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With the government shutdown we get to see how awesome the free market deals with antibiotic-resistant bacterially-tainted meat |
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Unpaid interns are fair game for sexual harassment, court rules. With illustrative picture |
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The Annual Fall Pony Round-up has been cancelled due to the government shutdown. Truly these are our darkest hours |
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Investigators became slightly suspicious when they asked the man offloading duffel bags from his boat to his car what was in the bags and he said "cocaine" |
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Bad news : You and three others are injured in a helicopter crash. Good news : You're all rescued and transported to a hospital. Mixed news : By helicopter |
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Community shocked after man is injured climbing a utility pole |
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If you don't want to live with this girl after this Craigslist ad, I don't understand you |
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Our special today is a prime cut t-bone seared to perfection, with steamed vegetables and choice of potato, served on a double-breasted classic navy pinstripe with matching vest and trousers. Wing tips optional |
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Alaska now reportedly sinking as the "permafrost" thaws. EVERYBODY PANIC |
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Russian authorities believe they have found drugs on the Greenpeace ship they busted for piracy last month. Because it takes a couple of weeks to plant- er, search the vessel |
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Police revise their suspicions from last January that the teenager found dead inside a rolled up gym mat strewn with blood stains may not have died in a tragic accident |
| (Some Guy) |
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What do "pope", "stab" and "c*nt" have in common? They're all answers given by participants in a human behavior experiment at DragonCon 2013 |
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Couple that refused to let a gay wedding take place at their private venue turn around and sue the Civil Rights Commission because they keep getting negative calls and emails about their decision |
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If you self-diagnose all your illnesses using WebMD, experts have a name for you: Cyberchondriac |
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Maximum trolling: Anonymous donor leaves 12,000-year-old mastodon tusk in the donation box of a Christian charity |
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Generally speaking, you shouldn't wrap your meth up in your court paperwork |
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We're not saying the country is doomed, but just in case, here are ten ways you can use a cardboard box |
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Old school: learning the three Rs. New school: learning to deal with a two-hour commute. Fark: each way |
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Appellate Court rules spanking with wooden spoon not abuse if done correctly and a safe word is used |
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Amelia Earhart is crashing into the water today. Not a repeat from 1939 |
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Nevada hospital may have accidentally exposed 140 newborn infants to TB. Oops, our bad |
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Judge, "Sorry, but you are dead." Petitioner, "But I'm feeling better. I think I'll go for a walk" |
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Twerking is actually quite common in nature, which means we could probably replace Miley Cyrus with a sage grouse and nobody would be the wiser |
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52 year old man gets completely schnockered, strips nekkid and challenges the captain to a fight: Or what budget carriers call "Tuesday" |
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Man who helped senior citizens hook up for sex is arrested in Tokyo. Police say the smell of burning leather led them right to him |
| (Some Guy) |
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It turns out "diarrhea" is not an acceptable excuse for driving 111 mph in Utah while the cops are chasing you |
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Drunk moose are becoming a problem overseas |
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"A major cause of the great Library of Alexandria's ruin was government budget cuts." You hear that Boehner, you destroyed Alexandria's library, you bastard |
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Generally speaking, fleeing from cops works better if there isn't a cop already in your car. But so far, it's worked for this guy |
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Instead of being pestered by that incessant wailing, you can now get a smoke detector that quietly and calmly sends an alert to your smart phone or tablet |
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We really WILL take more care of you. BA air hostesses in trouble for flashing their undercarriage [w/pics] |
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If you're in Western Australia, don't try to to buy underpants at a petrol station after 9pm on a Thursday |
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It's always awkward when you're jogging in a park with a preacher and he turns to you and says, "You want to oral me?" |
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Another Sandusky arrested because of what he blew |
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Drunk, watching Braveheart, and brandishing a sword in the street is no way to go through life...mom |
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If you're driving and you need to send a text, you should always pull over. Just don't pull over onto the train tracks |
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Hiccup Girl, who became Murder Girl, now wants to be New Trial Girl |
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If I had seen these as a child on Halloween, you'd find me in my bedroom closet, praying to a merciful God for November 1 to come ASAP |
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Ways to welcome the builders. Make them a coffee... or start brandishing your crossbow |
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If you've been ordered not to drive because of your DUIs, don't wave at the cops from the driver's seat of a yellow convertible when you go past them |
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Prince Philip sees a little girl sitting on a beach ball. Does he ask: A) if she's a princess, B) if she's a good girl, or C) if you get bonus point for knocking her off the ball |
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World's seventh richest woman gets in car accident in Virginia, damaging her Porsche SUV. She killed some plebe, too, but let's try to stay focused on what's important, okay? |
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Old and Busted: Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay. New hotness: Mystery Monkey 2 Electric Boogaloo |
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"Sure thing, officers - c'mon in. Over there's my vat of Oklahoma City bombing chemicals, back there are my 142 guns, here's my WTC '93 ammonium nitrate, and over there in the corner's the bomb I'm building for Keith Richards" |
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I rescued a turtle. And got bit by a venomous rattlesnake in the process, but still, saved turtle |
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Man sets fire to his own shop. Man forgets that gasoline fumes can turn a small shop into a fuel-air bomb. With video goodness |
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Hold your lemons and melt some butter. Ladies and gentlemen of FARK, I present: THE LOBSTERCYCLES |
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Lesbians are twice as likely as gay men to consider their civil unions licked |
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOklahoma, where the pipelines spontaneously burst into flaaaaaaaames |
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Let's check in with Cliff Claven to see what he thinks about Obamacare |
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I bet if the moose was black, no one would have cared |
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Canada's CSEC wants to join the sexting threesome with you, your girlfriend and the NSA |
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N.Y. Lawmakers consider banning "revenge porn". "Angry", "Rough", "Furry", "Cheerleader", "Midget", "Donkey", "Glasses", "Gay", and "Tranny" still okay |
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Photoshop theme: Candy Crush |
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"A dollop of peanut butter and a ruler might be a way to confirm a diagnosis of early-stage Alzheimer's disease." Or to see if your dog is bisexual |
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Last weekend's killing of a soldier in Washington State has been downgraded from hate crime to unfriendly friendly fire |
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Should have taken the deal |
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Woman pleads guilty to spaghetti sauce bank robbery, says she wasn't using her noodle |
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Chipotle Restaurant, serving good Mexican food and damaging your home |
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The most important inventions of the last 100 years. You are now free to argue why something should or not be on the list *cough* Playstation *cough* |
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Pit bull rescued from shelter hours before he would have been put down returns the favor by saving the life of his rescuer's four-year old boy |
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A Chinese study concludes that the best hangover cure is an ancient, 1,000 year-old citrus based remedy otherwise known as ...... Sprite |
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Biblical scholar to present evidence that the story of Jesus Christ was made up by first century Roman aristocracy. Who could POSSIBLY have an issue with this theory? |
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News: Patient missing from San Francisco General Hospital found dead. Fark: In the hospital's stairwell. UltraFark: Over two weeks later |
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Woman uses L'Oreal Paris Revitalift Laser Renew anti-ageing products on her face and OMG DON'T EVER DO THAT (w/pics) |
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Government shutdown forces Antarctic research station to go into "caretaker" status. Kurt Russell and Keith David sent north as a precaution |
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After 22 years New York police have identified the mother of "Baby Hope" through an anonymous tip and DNA testing |
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Waving a gun around on a commuter train isn't going to get you noticed anymore in the age of the tablet and smartphone |
