Calling Doctor Howard, Doctor Fine, Doctor Howard

Mickey Kaus has just discovered that private hospitals -- including the one in which he was dropped on his head as an infant -- offer additional amenities for well-to-do patients.  (Yes, now you can recuperate after childbirth in the equivalent of a Residence Inn, located atop an institute named for a billionaire advocate for socialized medicine who became wealthy via a U.S. government grant!)

Kaus frets that this means the best nurses will begin gravitating toward "VIP-high roller duties," unlike in all previous human history, when health care professionals clamored instead for the prestigious but poorly-paid duty of sponge bathing psychosomatic Slate bloggers earning high five figure salaries for 20 minutes of work a day.

The hairless hack's muddled point appears to be that Obamacare won't eliminate luxury medicine and is therefore a failure or, possibly, that Obamacare is not needed because luxury medicine exists.  Either way: Obama sucks!

The only thing missing is Kaus's concern that ferriners are using high-end hospitals to drop anchor babies.

Try The Po' Boy (pg. 47) and Mitt's Grits (pg. 124)

For those of you who need help spreading peanut butter and marshmallow creme on white bread, help is at hand.

Home is where good things happen—and for the Romney family, the heart of the home is the kitchen. Ann Romney, wife of former Massachusetts governor and presidential candidate Mitt Romney, invites readers into her home and kitchen, combining some of her favorite foods with memories of raising a family. 

Part "insider look," part cookbook, The Romney Family Table starts out with a unique blend of personal memories, homegrown traditions, and the foods that have made family events special. Join the Romneys for family nights, summers at the lake, Christmas Eve, and many other occasions, detailed in an intimate and welcoming style.

Then, indulge yourself in scores of additional mouthwatering recipes. From the simple (Fluffernutter Sandwiches) to the sophisticated (Peppered Pork Chops with Peach-Vinegar Glaze); from the Honey Wheat Bread Ann made regularly for five growing sons to the Buttermilk Pancakes she and Mitt shared with their Secret Service details at the end of Mitt's presidential campaign, these recipes will become treasures for you as they have been for the Romney family.

Which is to say, not at all.

Note:  You will be asked to relinquish all mobile devices before you join the Romneys for family nights, summers at the lake, Christmas Eve and many other occasions.

Roger's Required Reading

"Moses Wine and the Curious Incident of the C*** in The White-House," by Roger L. Simon

Grand Old Police Blotter: No, That's Too Obvious Edition

Surprisingly, someone was arrested in Michele Bachmann's office who wasn't Michele Bachmann.

WASHINGTON — A top aide to Republican Rep. Michelle [sic] Bachmann of Minnesota has been arrested by the U.S. Capitol Police and charged with theft.

Senior legislative aide Javier Sanchez, 37, of Virginia, was arrested Thursday after an investigation into a series of thefts in the Rayburn House Office Building, where Bachmann’s Washington office is located.

Bachmann spokesman Dan Kotman said Monday that Sanchez’s employment was terminated the following day.

“Any further questions should be directed to Capitol Police,” Kotman said.

Sanchez was charged with second-degree theft, indicating the stolen items were worth less than $1,000, according to Capitol Police spokesman Shennell Antrobus.

 I blame the vaccine.

R.I.P. Michael Hastings

Journalist Michael Hastings, author of The Operators, died today in a car accident in Los Angeles.

Good News BoBos

From St. BoBo's epistle to the wingnuts:

 Correction: June 14, 2013

An earlier version of this column misattributed a passage from Corinthians that ends with the statement, “God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.” The letter to the Corinthians is by Paul, not Jesus.

In the draft, he attributed it to Ricardo Montalban.

Let me speculate that Bobo didn't work his way through the U. of C.  Or learn anything when he there.

Conflict of Interest Kurtz Strikes Again

The ash burns on Howie Kurtz's ass are getting more noticable by the minute.

Update: Erik Wemple keeps his speculation clean.

Libertarian Old Police Blotter: Joe Gone to Prison Edition

I can't find anything to tie Joe Francis to the Republican Party, although he shares many of the G.O.P.'s views on women.  So I'll make this a "Libertarian Old Police Blotter."

Anyway, here's the good news:

Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild fame has been accused of hitting girls in the past. But this time the charges stuck.

The L.A. City Attorney's office triumphantly stated that Francis was convicted by a jury today of "three counts of false imprisonment, one count of dissuading a witness from reporting, and one count of assault causing great bodily injury":

Prosecutors say the 40-year-old enticed three women into his limo outside Hollywood's Supperclub. Two of the women thought they were simply being driven to a parked car nearby. But no, the City Attorney's office says:

 Instead Francis took them to his place and got into a physical altercation with two of the women as he tried to separate them from their companion.

If there's any justice, Joe will spend the next five years in prison. Congratulations to the prosecutors for their outstanding work.

As One Hack Falls, One Hundred Hacks Rise Up to Take His Place

Coverage of Howard Kurtz's sacking by The Daily Beast pays tribute to Kurtz by being just as hacktacular as Kurtz himself. A choice nugget:

The question of Kurtz’s future, in terms of both reputation and relevance, now turns to CNN.

It took two people to write that.

It's all there in the PoliticHo article -- worthless anonymous quotes which insult but don't inform, "seems" and "it is unclear"s as hedges for ass-pulled speculation, Twitter reprints.  It's almost as if Kurtz wrote it himself.

Dylan Byers is either laboring under the misimpression that his crap is superior to Kurtz's, or he knows his crap is just as bad and that his employer doesn't care.