29th Avenue, between Main and James:
Wooden privacy fences mark off small green yards, their landscapes exploding with sweet spring beauty.
On one fence, a crow caws angrily, wings outstretched, settled, outstretched, settled.
Another crow flies up from a nearby tree, but lands in place again – a half-hearted response, at best.
Crow-on-the-fence continues to bristle and flap.
Along a perpendicular rim of the fence walks a small black cat. Cat is raven-black, just like Crow, and about the same size.
Black Crow stands his ground in his safe corner and yells.
Black Cat, unfazed, walks forward and waits. She does not crouch. She does not fluff her tail. No defense, no offence. She simply waits.
Black Crow is beside himself. From his position he calls out threats.
But his crow friends merely look on from their treetop.
Slowly, Black Crow advances along the fence, to the corner where his narrow rim intersects Black Cat’s. Black Cat calmly walks on, crossing Black Crow’s fence-rim, on into the next yard, vanishing among the tall green cedars.
It’s not unusual to see a crow in such distress, but it is odd to see his friends watch without swooping down to help. Perhaps a family nest sits high in the tree, and Black Crow dances defensively down low to confuse Black Cat.
Black Cat, it seems, is on to Black Crow and his tricks. She shows no interest in the imaginary nest or the false theatrical display.
Black Crow and Black Cat: so similar in size and color, so different in temperament. One fusses frantically as the other pauses in stillness.
Each is absolutely beautiful. And each is fully entitled, by the laws of his or species, to hunt and gather on this shared land.
Each is a revelation of the energy of our natural world. And each is a revelation of the energies of our inner world.
Black Crow and Black Cat appear to me during this season of Sefirat Ha’Omer. Forty-nine days to make an accounting of the sefirot, God’s spiritual attributes, as they show themselves in my consciousness.
The sefirot have grand names: Love, Strength, Beauty, Victory/Eternity, Splendor/Gratitude, Foundation, Royalty.
The names suggest perfection, as does Black Cat’s dignified stillness. They direct us to walk purposefully as we trace a clear spiritual path.
They suggest that Black Crow’s expression is a mere theatrical display – a diversion of energy into an imaginary dead end.
I am tempted by this suggestion. How beautiful to believe that Strength is my true essence, God’s precious gift to me. How inspirational to know that a moment of weakness shows me how to jump back to strength. How comforting to know what is Real and True, and set my GPS to those coordinates.
Sometimes I adopt this as my theology. Divinity is expressed in my thoughts and feelings as Love. God is expressed through my loving actions, not my angry, envious, or confused impulses. Negative impulses should remind me to turn towards the Inner Good. Famous modern Jewish theologians have said God appears to them in this guise, rather than as a world controller, and I teach their ideas with respect.
Sometimes I challenge this theology. In my metaphysical vision, the entire world is an expression of Divine energy. That makes me a monist and a monotheist who believes that distress and stillness have the same Source. Sharing a source does not make two things equal in every way; prolonged stillness is healthier, more socially harmonious, and more enjoyable. But stillness is not more real. Distress is not simply a wrong turn.
If pressed, I could not define “real” or “true” or tell you the attributes of real and true things. I could not tell you exactly how to be with distress. But I could tell you that the idealized tree of the sefirot does not tell the full story.
Right now I am wandering and wondering my way through the Omer count.
Black Crow and Black Cat are my real guides.
Image: A question suggested by this beautiful image: Should Black Cat harness Black Crow? Image by Cyra R. Cancel, www.ebsqart.com.
