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Mon January 16, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(CBC) Dumbass Man arrested for selling Canadian military secrets. I'm not sure either. Locations of all Tim Hortons? How to de-ice a caribou?  (cbc.ca) (26)
(Fox News) Sad Louisiana toddler dies after 2-year battle with rare skin disease. In other news, Jesus helped Tim Tebow pass for 136 yards Saturday Night  (foxnews.com) (82)
(Washington Post) Obvious DC police reach out to gay, lesbian gangs with a fashion show  (washingtonpost.com) (32)
(Some Guy) Followup Mini Coopers recalled over mini fire problem  (kvia.com) (26)
(The Atlantic) Photoshop Photoshop this guy and his bronze buddy  (cdn.theatlantic.com) (14)
(Fark) FarkParty Northern Kentucky Vegas Warm-Up Party - January 28 - Molly Malone's Irish Pub  (fark.com) (31)
(Some guy) Sad Cracker Barrel founder dead at 76. Funeral to be held on Saturday, with gravy-side services to follow  (wfaa.com) (138)
(Salon) Sick Tuscon, Arizona is putting a wide range of books on the banned list--from The Tempest to Rethinking Columbus to textbooks about Hispanic history--as part of a statewide purge of Ethnic Studies programs in high schools  (salon.com) (465)
(11 Alive) Hero And you thought getting your lazy butt to work was an accomplishment   (lawrenceville.11alive.com) (72)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop Betty and her terrier  (file2.u148.net) (21)
(Canoe) Misc Last surviving member of General Francisco Franco's cabinet has died. General Francisco Franco still dead  (cnews.canoe.ca) (65)
(My Fox DC) Interesting "He cursed. He did things that people do behind closed doors. He was regular"  (myfoxdc.com) (182)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Group seeks to obtain conceal and curry permits  (wsbtv.com) (223)
(Yahoo) Stupid South Korea: Home of the Golden Rectums  (news.yahoo.com) (64)
(Oregon Live) Amusing Small town community spends eight years raising funds to build a park, only to discover patrons of a nearby strip club are allowed to park in its parking lot  (oregonlive.com) (197)
(Independent) Interesting Archaeologists discover Madonna's waiting tomb in the Valley of the Kings  (independent.co.uk) (32)
(Mirror.co.uk) Dumbass Brit accused of harassing his German neighbor with the theme from Dad's Army. If he'd just watched Fawlty Towers, he would have known not to mention the war  (mirror.co.uk) (43)
(Some Guy) Sad Smoking kills Senator. At 3,500 years old  (cfnews13.com) (126)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Government official says the Queen of England, who is said to be worth $450 million, should get a new royal yacht from taxpayers for her diamond jubilee. It's good to be the Queen  (dailymail.co.uk) (186)
(Some Guy) Dumbass 1980: AIDS is a gay disease. 1996: AIDS is a junkie disease. 2012: AIDS is a diabetic disease  (todaysthv.com) (325)
(azfamily.com) Strange Inmate on a highway work crew flings an unmarked riot grenade that he found under a tree over a highway fence after the safety pin got caught on a branch. Just another day on the Arizona chain gang  (azfamily.com) (34)
(Canada.com) Spiffy Homeless man finds €7000 and turns it over to police, would like your spare change  (canada.com) (37)
(Time) Amusing Bakery unveils TSA-compliant cupcake. It's da bomb  (newsfeed.time.com) (45)
(Washington Post) Cool AP and DPRK find common ground. Sharks meet Jets  (washingtonpost.com) (19)
(Mirror.co.uk) Dumbass Man fighting with his wife throws cat at her. Wife ducks, cat sails out window, falling four stories and hitting neighbor on head, killing cat and leaving neighbor in critical condition. The Aristocats  (mirror.co.uk) (152)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Woman who doesn't understand why her husband wants to divorce her throws a knife at him after he says he wants to divorce her  (nwfdailynews.com) (22)
(National Geographic) Cool Today's episode of "amazing NASA photographs from space, or rejected porn star names?" brought to you by: the Hubble Bubble, the Dusty Dwarf, Moon Shot  (news.nationalgeographic.com) (19)
(SeattlePI) Dumbass Slut smacked  (seattlepi.com) (30)
(WRCB-TV) Spiffy The stupid tax just doubled  (wrcbtv.com) (142)
(BBC) Asinine Twenty top predictions for life 100 years from now - strange... no mention of anyone assuming control  (bbc.co.uk) (143)
(Short List) Fail WARNING: YOUR PLANE IS ABOUT TO MAKE AN EMERGENCY LANDING ON WATER. Sorry, we didn't mean to play that message. As you were  (shortlist.com) (45)
(Daily Mail) Followup $5 million an inch  (dailymail.co.uk) (95)
(First Coast News) Sappy Meet the 145-pound baby that is sure to warm your heart   (jacksonvillenorthestates.firstcoastnews.com) (19)
(Washington Post) Followup Russian spacecraft falls into Pacific Ocean west of Chile, fails to hit giant target so nobody gets a free taco  (washingtonpost.com) (19)
(The New York Times) Followup Capsized cruise ship company throws the captain overboard  (nytimes.com) (238)
(Some Guy) Cool The mayor of the capital of Iceland, a comedian and founder of the Best Party, writes what could possibly be the most intelligent and insightful welcome to the New Year, ever  (grapevine.is) (51)
(Stuff.co.nz) Strange When she's not studying law or competing in surfing competitions, Mischa Davis likes to strap on a mermaid's tail and hang out beneath the waves. Yes, there is a pic  (stuff.co.nz) (51)
(The Eagle Tribune) Amusing Man with poor understanding of biology calls for help after new pet hamster turns into 94 hamsters  (eagletribune.com) (85)
(CONTEMPORIST) Photoshop Photoshop this woman and her sleeping pod tube thingee  (contemporist.com) (24)
(Yahoo) Scary When your city falls on hard financial times you have to cut back on a few luxuries like extra police, library operating hours, democracy--you know, little stuff like that  (news.yahoo.com) (101)
(Some Guy) Scary App lets you deliver your last words from beyond the grave for eternity. DO NOT let your mother-in-law find out about this  (couriermail.com.au) (31)
(WTSP) Asinine Delta flight forced to land after two unruly first class passengers demand food and champagne  (wtsp.com) (110)
(Some Guy) Sick You find a mouse in the buns at a McDonald's and tell your manager. Does she? A) Close the store. B) Call the health department? C) Tell you to brush off the droppings and serve the buns?  (news.ninemsn.com.au) (88)
(The Local (Sweden)) Dumbass A small cut on a child's forehead results in the doctor gluing the kid's eye shut. Bet he didn't see that coming  (thelocal.se) (42)
(QC Online) Silly Not one, not two, but three sets of identical twins work at the same Hy-Vee grocery store, which confuses customers and probably leads to so awkward dating moments  (qconline.com) (84)
(Time) Spiffy Ted Williams seems to actually be doing ok. You go, ex-homeless golden voice guy  (newsfeed.time.com) (120)


Sun January 15, 2012
(Washington Post) NewsFlash Jon Huntsman drops out of GOP race, disappointing his supporter  (washingtonpost.com) (448)
(Some Mothertruck) Sappy Guy preps '79 GMC Truck ready in order to bring grandson home in same vehicle he brought his son home in: "I'm really excited we're able to do this"  (gastongazette.com) (62)
(3 News New Zealand) Dumbass Man orders a 'Baconator' burger with no bacon. That's the real story here  (3news.co.nz) (126)
(Some Guy) Sad Wife asks to ride in back of ambulance with dying husband. Is instead left by the side of the road in a blizzard  (thechronicleherald.ca) (155)
(Herald-Leader) Cool Some governments use a police chopper to assist officers on the ground chasing a stolen car. The Dutch use F-16s  (kentucky.com) (70)
(Fark) Photoshop Theme: Photoshop a man, a plan, and a canal  (fark.com) (16)
(Some Guy) Sad "8-Year-Old Boy Paralyzed By Bullet Not Slowing Down". Oh sure, blame the bullet  (chicago.cbslocal.com) (78)
(Huffington Post) Sad Gay filmmaker who shot "It Gets Better" video last month decides that it doesn't  (huffingtonpost.com) (446)
(Daily Mail) Hero Mother of eleven refuses to claim benefits  (dailymail.co.uk) (101)
(Des Moines Register) Fail The rising number of hazing incidents--including a recent one where wrestlers sodomized teammates with jump rope--are worrying coaches. Not because it's illegal and disgusting, but because it sullies the storied history of their teams  (desmoinesregister.com) (55)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida The dumbest things Floridians have ever seen their fellow drivers do. "She was eating a bowl of cereal and applying makeup simultaneously"  (sun-sentinel.com) (178)
(Scientific American) Interesting What's Causing One of the Driest, Warmest Winters in History? Here comes the Scientific American  (scientificamerican.com) (126)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Create an alternate cover for a classic novel. LGT inspiration  (amazon.com) (56)
(Some Guy) Obvious New 20 mph sign with radar speed display has one question on driver's minds: will the sign blow up if I hit 100?  (lancashiretelegraph.co.uk) (142)
(MSNBC) Stupid In an effort to isolate themselves from everybody, Iran says that any OPEC country that tries to increase oil production to offset any Iranian oil embargo will be considered an "unfriendly act"  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (168)
(ABC) Followup US Coast Guard Cutter Healy and Russian Tanker Renda moor off of Nome, Alaska, ready to deliver the fuel to rescue a desperate town. Perhaps with this gesture, in the future, the two nations may become friends  (abcnews.go.com) (198)
(LA Times) Cool I scream, you scream, YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. NOW SHADDUP AND GIVE ME MORE ALCOHOLIC ICE CREAM  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (49)
(Seattle Times) Sappy Ugly ass sea otter pups born at Seattle Awwwquarium   (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (48)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Sad Detained at Guatanamo: An innocent man recounts his painful and perplexing stint at Guantanamo. Here come the excuses  (startribune.com) (434)
(Kentucky forward) Unlikely "Drew Curtis makes Farking an art form, propelling quirky humor to national fame"  (kyforward.com) (146)
(Politico) Asinine RIAA on SOPA outrage: "It sure seems like the deck is stacked to ensure no meaningful or balanced debate occurs on an issue that is very important to American jobs and our economy"  (politico.com) (334)
(WOIO) Interesting Missing teen found at the last place investigators thought to look: The library  (woio.com) (43)
(SLTrib) Dumbass Utah's top law enforcement officer accused of plagiariz...er, stealing intellectual property in support of SOPA. Damages estimated at about 28 billion dollars by MPAA/RIAA mathematicians  (sltrib.com) (46)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this swan, lake   (latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com) (36)
(Mother Nature Network) Unlikely Leading health expert says that moms' habits in the 1950s launched the obesity epidemic of today. Curse you June Cleaver  (mnn.com) (183)
(News.com.au) Sad Truck crash kills over 200 sheep, according to drowsy workers  (news.com.au) (54)
(CNN) Scary Third-grader Matthew Asselin owns Ferris Bueller's absence record with a monster 53 days out due to "illness"  (cnn.com) (109)
(STLToday) Hero Normally, Subby would rather pull his own hair out than spend time with a chatty, 9 year-old third grade girl. But then there's this one. She knits hats for kids who don't get to pull their hair out, and I'll do whatever she says  (stltoday.com) (97)

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