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Saturday, January 07, 2012

Under Rick Santorum's Milky White Wood

BERJAYA
If Black people are now Blah People, then white people are now Whah People

BERJAYA

It is Spring, moonless night in the small town,
starless and bible-blah, the cobble streets silent and the hunched,
courters and rabbits' wood limping invisible down to the sloeblah,
slow, blah, crowblah, fishing boat bobbing sea.

BERJAYA
BERJAYA
BERJAYA

Thursday, January 05, 2012

That John McCain sure can pick 'em!



First, let me just say that John McCain, as far as politics goes, is a gutless, craven coward. He waits for a day after the Iowa Caucus to give his endorsement of Romney. If Romney had tanked in Iowa, McCain wouldn't have issued an endorsement. He probably would have waited until after New Hampshire, and only if Romney wins that.

Meanwhile, Romney may have received a handful or two of caucus votes more than Santorum, but that doesn't mean he "won". Romney, Santorum, and Ron Paul each received 7 delegates of Iowa's 25 delegates, the remaining 4 delegates split between Gingrich and Perry. I don't remember where on these Intertoobz I saw it, but someone remarked that it was the worst three-way they had ever witnessed.

In an alternate universe, John McCain and Newt Gingrich are starring in this season's Celebrity Wife Swap.

Monday, January 02, 2012

Santorum and Delilah

BERJAYA

An army of Philadelphians went up and demanded from 3000 men of Jersey to deliver them Santorum. With Santorum's consent, they tie him with two new ropes and are about to hand him over to the Philadelphians when he breaks free. Using the jawbone of Rush Limbaugh, he slays one thousand Philadelphians. At the conclusion of Judges Judy and Wapner, it is said that "Santorum led an Israel Lobby for twenty years in the days of the Philadelphians."

Later, Santorum goes to Philadelphia where he stays at a harlot's house. His enemies wait at the gate of the city to ambush him, but he rips the gate up and carries it to "the hill that is in front of The Liberty Bell."

He then falls in love with a woman, Delilah, at the Brooks Brothers store. The Philadelphians approach Delilah and induce her (with 1100 Gold Plated 9-11 comemmorative coins) to try to find the secret of Santorum's strength. Santorum, not wanting to reveal the secret, teases her, telling her that he will lose his strength should he be bound with fresh bowstrings. She does so while he sleeps, but when he wakes up he snaps the strings. She persists, and he tells her he can be bound with new ropes. She ties him up with new ropes while he sleeps, and he snaps them, too. She asks again, and he says he can be bound if his locks are woven together.She weaves them together, but he undoes them when he wakes. Eventually Santorum tells Delilah that he will lose his strength with the loss of his sweater vests.

BERJAYA

Sunday, January 01, 2012

Top 5 Methods for Getting Republican Clipboards of Enlightenment off an Iowan's Porch

#1: Lock The Porch Door. Peek out the front room curtain to see who is pounding on the locked aluminum screen door. If it is a stranger holding a clipboard and "literature", DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR. Eventually they will go away on their own.

#2: If you forgot to lock the front porch door, and they are now ringing the doorbell and/or knocking on the entry door, put on your favorite Bootsy Collins record and turn it up to Eleven. DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR. Eventually they will go away on their own.



#3: If you peek out the window and they have disguised themselves with a neon yellow safety vest, and you open the door thinking they are a city worker come to tell you they are shutting the water off for a couple of hours because they are fixing a broken water main on your street, then respond to all questions from the campaign worker by quoting Zippy The Pinhead.

"Are you familiar with Mitt Romney's Job Plan For a Better Tomorrow?"
"If a frog broadsides a Mercedes Benz, who pays the damages?"
"I'm sorry, sir, but Mitt Romney doesn't drive a Mercedes."
"I'm injecting a duck burrito with a mango mustard marinade."
"Are you going to the caucus, sir?"
"All life is a blur of Republicans and meat."
"Thank you, have a good day, sir, and if you plan on going to the caucus, Mitt Romney would appreciate your support."
"A srewdriver, alone in a meadow."


#4: If you happen to be out in the back yard marveling at the 50 degree weather, and you walk around to the front yard to take a look at the dandelion that is blooming on the last day of 2011, and there is dude with a clipboard inside your screened in front porch ringing the doorbell and/or knocking on the entry door, then pick the dandelion blossom and dandelion leaves. Go up behind the campaign worker, and when they start asking you questions, don't say anything, just stare at them with your eyes open as wide as possible, your head tilted back a little bit, then stuff the dandelion, flower and leaves, in your mouth and chew very slowly. Let one of the dandelion leaves poke out of you mouth while you chew.

#5: Answer the door naked and read quotes from the Bible.

BERJAYA
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Spill the wine, kiss that girl

BERJAYA
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City Bum



By G Love and The King's Court : Clemma on drums, King Kane on the bass
recorded at Keith Keller's place in New Orleans, 1996? 1995? issued as a cassette!

Old Paint

BERJAYA

circa 1986

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Jon Swift Memorial Roundup 2011

BERJAYA

Jon Swift, AKA Al Weisel, was a funny, generous guy. He nominated me for a Weblog Award, once upon a time, and believe me, him nominating me was more prestigious than the actual Weblog Award. We like to keep his spirit alive by remembering him.

Battochio at Vagabond Scholar is carrying on the tradition of Jon Swift/Al Weisel, The Best Posts of the Year, Chosen by the Bloggers Themselves. As Lance Mannion put it:

Our late and much missed comrade in blogging, journalist and writer Al Weisel, revered and admired across the bandwidth as the “reasonable conservative” blogger Modest Jon Swift, was a champion of the lesser known and little known bloggers working tirelessly in the shadows...

One of his projects was a year-end Blogger Round Up. Al/Jon asked bloggers far and wide, famous and in- and not at all, to submit a link to their favorite post of the past twelve months and then he sorted, compiled, blurbed, hyperlinked and posted them on his popular blog. His round-ups presented readers with a huge banquet table of links to work many of has had missed the first time around and brought those bloggers traffic and, more important, new readers they wouldn’t have otherwise enjoyed.

It may not have been the most heroic endeavor, but it was kind and generous and a lot of us owe our continued presence in the blogging biz to Al.


Get on over to Vagabond Scholar and check it out!

It's Cold Out, Buddy. Get Down Off The Cross, We Need The Wood

BERJAYA
Alan Grayson on Romney, Mormons and elections:

Nevertheless, I was disappointed to read last Thursday that a Mason-Dixon poll found that 26% of all American voters would be “uncomfortable” with a Mormon as President. Last month, a Public Religion Research Institute poll put that figure at more than 40%. In June, a Quinnipiac poll put the figure at 36%. And a Gallup Poll in June found that 22% of all voters would not support any Presidential candidate who is an active Mormon.

The Constitution could not possibly be clearer on this point. The penultimate sentence of the Constitution states: “no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.” Note that this was in the original Constitution; the First Amendment and the Bill of Rights came later.......

Perhaps this is one of those times when people need to be reminded of what Lincoln called “the better angels of our nature.” Bigotry is wrong, whether it’s directed against African-Americans, gays, Jews or Mormons.


There's a big difference between not voting for someone because of the color of their skin, or not voting for someone because she is a woman, and not voting for someone because of things the candidate chooses to believe in. The notion of suggesting that the Constitution stating: “no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States” somehow applies to a person in a voting booth is bogus. The "No Religious Test" applies to The State preventing someone from being on the ballot because of their religious views.

The polls Grayson quotes don't appear to have much detail (he didn't provide any links, and I'm not bothering to go look for it), so it is impossible to say from reading his post what it is about Mormonism that people find objectionable. Perhaps it is the Church's views on abortion? If voters don't want to vote for people with particular religious beliefs, I wouldn't call that bigotry. What if Romney belonged to Fred Phelps' Westboro Baptist Church, is it bigotry to say you are not going to vote for him based on his membership in that church?