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Mon January 09, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(The Smoking Gun) Followup Meet the drug dealer who wore that "how-to" crack cocaine shirt to court  (thesmokinggun.com) (3)
(Chicago Tribune) Stupid Walgreen's opening up a new flagship store in downtown Chicago. It will feature all the things customers expect from Walgreen's, including a sushi bar, humidor, and manicurist. Wait...what?  (chicagotribune.com) (9)
(Some Guy) Amusing Bronies and Pegasisters invade Manhattan for a sold out BRONYCON. Yes there are photos, wonderful fluffy happy tolerant rainbow photos  (theawl.com) (50)
(TSN) Hero TFer: "If the Steelers lose, I will shave 'TEBOW' in my chest hair. And post pictures." TF never forgets  (tsn.ca) (225)
(Slate) Sick Today's Fark-ready headline: "The long, sordid history of bestiality in America." Apparently, it used to be blamed on the animals  (slate.com) (67)
(NJ.com) Strange Police nab 5-man "Ocean's 11 Gang," suspected of burglarizing 15 homes and not being very good at counting  (nj.com) (21)
(Some Guy) Misc Its Monday. We need funny pictures to help get us over the depression coma, and help supplement that coffee mainline you have going there. Beat the picture in the link. Vote for the funniest. Lets make this vote thingie work for us  (cdn.randomfunnypicture.com) (306)
(MSNBC) Interesting The best and worst run cities in America. Yes, Detroit is on the list, but they can't even be number 1 in sucking  (bottomline.msnbc.msn.com) (68)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Man found passed out from 12 beers while his home burned around him, is a lightweight   (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com) (34)
(Politico) Spiffy Snoop Dogg goes to the White House and asks the burning question of our time: Yo Prez, can we legalize marijuana already?  (politico.com) (156)
(Denver Channel) Dumbass Problem: You want to burn all your love letters to your ex. Difficulty: They're all in email form. Solution: SHUT DOWN NEIGHBORHOOD  (thedenverchannel.com) (41)
(Some Guy) Followup In response to Georgia plan to drug-test welfare recipients, state lawmaker submits bill to require drug testing for state legislators. Hilarity ensues  (onlineathens.com) (256)
(Boston.com) Amusing Hey, I've got an idea...Let's take off our pants and ride the subway(with photos)  (boston.com) (37)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Fail A $45-million Homeland Security program that wastes taxpayers' dollars and fails to make a single citizen more secure? How can that be?  (suntimes.com) (71)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Atlantic Beach mayor arrested for suspicion of DUI. Again. With 1,000 yard stare mug shot goodness  (wmbfnews.com) (29)
(My Fox DC) Interesting Brian's dog already loved cilantro mixed with burned rubber and dirty socks - so it was easy for him  (myfoxdc.com) (22)
(AP) Interesting New England Journal of Medicine celebrates 200 years of publishing key advances like anesthesia, cancer surgery, germ theory, Nazi eugenics, and organ transplants  (lowellsun.com) (36)
(Yahoo) Stupid California state legislator pleads it-was-the-tumor-what-done-it in $2500 shoplifting case  (news.yahoo.com) (55)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Charlize Theron says high heels and grass don't mix, but not for the reason you might think  (dailymail.co.uk) (52)
(Canada.com) Silly Canadian Prime Minister will not be playing hockey against Russian Prime Minister, in case you were wondering  (canada.com) (48)
(BBC) Followup Global warming, as it turns out, is AWESOME  (bbc.co.uk) (179)
(The Local (Sweden)) Spiffy #beskrivdittsex livmedenlåttitel hej raring, jag har en tolv tums penis  (thelocal.se) (93)
(Washington Post) Asinine In these trying times of stretched budgets and massive funding cuts to state universities, it's comforting to know the University of Maryland plans to spend $7.2 million on a new 14,000-square-foot mansion for its president  (washingtonpost.com) (62)
(Telegraph) Scary The PIP breast implant is popular amongst women from Katie Price (aka Jordan) to women having post-mastectomy reconstructive surgery. Men are even putting it in their butts. Plus, it explodes  (telegraph.co.uk) (34)
(Some Guy) Followup Evidence of manbearpig found in Ohio of all places  (cantonrep.com) (26)
(Chattanooga Times Free Press) Amusing Ric Romero's country cousin discovers this neat game called "Skyrim". Wait until they learn about Angry Birds  (timesfreepress.com) (108)
(Some Guy) Strange Thousands line up to donate blood in order to get free ducks and geese  (asiaone.com) (20)
(New York Daily News) Sad No good deed goes unpunished by a train  (nydailynews.com) (25)
(Some Internet Tough Guy) Interesting Three idiots try to rob sports bar. Bar patrons beat-down and shoot robber. Think of it as evolution in action  (hamptonroads.com) (48)
(Globe and Mail) Obvious The best way to keep your teenagers from being rude to you is to say, "Yes, you can go to the all-weekend drug-fest sleepover party at the house of that 26-year-old guy who you don't know the name of"  (theglobeandmail.com) (38)
(Daily Mail) Sad Mother has baby induced early so she can meet her dying 10-year-old sister. With pics that may make you call your cleaning lady to remove all the dust in this room  (dailymail.co.uk) (45)
(CNN) Stupid Now that the orgasmic glow of that whole "American navy rescued our sailors from pirates and we said thank you" thing has faded, Iran decides to roll over and sentence a captured American citizen to death  (cnn.com) (110)
(BBC) Obvious Report says that people should go at least two days a week without drinking. Forty-eight non-consecutive hours in a week counts as two days, right?  (bbc.co.uk) (47)
(Local10) Florida How to dress for success in Florida: Man wears "how to cook crack" shirt to court appearance on drug charges  (local10.com) (32)
(Daily Mail) Interesting It only took 60 years, but details finally emerge on how Queen Elizabeth II came to power  (dailymail.co.uk) (68)
(The Local (Sweden)) Obvious "The Butthole", "Deep Arse", "Snot Bog", "Meat Lake", and "Piss Mountain". These are all fantastic names for towns  (thelocal.se) (43)
(Marketwatch) Scary Fed getting ready for another round of "Let's see how much money we can print"  (marketwatch.com) (149)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this flying dragon  (i.imgur.com) (14)
(Nuke The Fridge) Hero Two-fisted hero of viral video "Star Wars Nerd vs. Punk" bounces back from Stage 3 brain cancer, seeks tax-deductible donations to run Disney World marathon. Still no cure for Han firing first  (nukethefridge.com) (80)
(Deseret News) Hero Nice anti-bribe site, a greenlight would sure help, be nice if you had something to speed that along  (deseretnews.com) (12)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Pub serves beer for dogs, because a bar full of drunk dogs would be hilarious  (dailymail.co.uk) (52)
(New Zealand Herald) Sappy Just a typical love story of boy meets girl, girl gives boy wrong number by mistake, girl finds boy with the help of nationwide internet campaign, girl finds out boy already has a girlfriend and needs to get to the gym in 26 minutes  (nzherald.co.nz) (86)
(WTOP) Ironic Friendly basketball game results in fight, pepper spray, five arrests  (wtop.com) (23)
(Daily Mail) Hero Man devises way to get around 'one bowl, one visit' rule at local Pizza Hut salad bar  (dailymail.co.uk) (167)


Sun January 08, 2012
(Toronto Star) Silly It's the 5th annual No Pants Day on Toronto's subway system. Just like New York every day. With bonus quizzical dog pic  (thestar.com) (72)
(C|Net) Scary French say there's absolutely no reason to worry about huge Airbus A380 planes having cracks in their wings, after only a few years of service. DE PANIQUE TOUT LE MONDE  (news.cnet.com) (142)
(Deadspin) Weird If you need some ideas for your bucket list, how about crossdressing and chaining yourself to a Walgreens while wearing a ballgag? Three different times?  (deadspin.com) (26)
(SFGate) Asinine We never say, "Your iPhone is stolen", and we never say, "This iPhone was reported stolen", we say, "Welcome to AT&TMobile"  (articles.sfgate.com) (95)
(WTSP) Florida Speeding tickets increase after DOT puts bags over speed limit signs  (wtsp.com) (107)
(Daily Mail) Strange 25-year-old woman is trapped in the body of a 12-year-old (w/pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (147)
(Some Geezer) Spiffy Liquor license granted to retirement home. Sorry kids, you can't visit grandma today. She's still sleeping off all those gin rickeys from bingo night  (dailycamera.com) (39)
(ESPN) Hero Tim Tebow follows in the footsteps of The Father, The Son and The Holy Sh*t  (scores.espn.go.com) (792)
(Daily Mail) Scary "Hello, this is your captain speaking. Could someone please bring some oxygen bottles to the cockpit?"  (dailymail.co.uk) (32)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this Golden Eagle  (i.imgur.com) (24)
(Mirror.co.uk) Scary Australian woman manages "miracle escape" after cord snap during bungee jump over crocodile-infested waters. In other news, some people are stupid enough to bungee jump over crocodile-infested waters  (mirror.co.uk) (127)
(Daily Mail) Strange Couple renew their marriage vows after husband becomes a woman and wife becomes a - oh .. my .. god  (dailymail.co.uk) (135)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Nicest white ass in Missouri welcomes visitors at its gate, has a website, and even its own calendar  (kctv5.com) (47)
(Some Guy) Stupid In the United States, there are more raped women than smokers of both genders. In other news, there has been a significant increase of apple tree growth, but the shortage of oranges continues  (significancemagazine.org) (558)
(Canoe) Sad 22,000 chicks killed in fire. Beavis and Butt-head inconsolable  (cnews.canoe.ca) (31)
(C|Net) Amusing Microsoft receives approval for patent on "avoid ghetto" feature for use with GPS  (news.cnet.com) (282)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Make this old Victoria a little bit creepier  (i.imgur.com) (33)
(Yahoo) Sad President of Navajo code talkers dies. His final words were great, but nobody knows what they meant  (news.yahoo.com) (52)
(NYPost) Stupid Health official complains about a school program that gives free breakfasts to poor students because she says it makes them obese. Because nothing slims a kid down like starvation  (nypost.com) (143)
(USA Today) Obvious For 2012, New York City resolves to attract over 50 million tourists to exploit, complain about and look down upon  (usatoday.com) (140)
(USA Today) Dumbass Japanese defense minister on the chopping block for confusing "rape" with "sexual orgy," though to be fair, he is Japanese  (usatoday.com) (66)
(Detroit Free Press) Interesting Parents are breaking the age rule to sign their kids up to Facebook. What could possibly go wrong?  (freep.com) (171)
(Forbes) Stupid Insane medical prediction of the day: raising the speed limit makes you fat  (forbes.com) (53)
(NYPost) Interesting "My life as a live nude girl." Disappointingly safe for work  (nypost.com) (162)
(Boston.com) Cool National Geographic 2011 photography contest winners  (boston.com) (27)
(USA Today) Strange Southern rednecks rejoice as new law allows them to skin and eat roadkill. Wait... the law is from Illinois? Whoops, sorry about the stereotyping there, Jethro  (usatoday.com) (112)
(Discovery) Interesting Really smart man turns 70 today. Happy Birthday Stephen Hawking  (news.discovery.com) (97)
(11 Alive) Stupid Student gets four days of in-school suspension for reporting that he accidentally brought a knife to school  (11alive.com) (152)
(Telegram) Interesting Bill would allow Massachusetts restaurants to donate leftover food to hungry without being sued  (telegram.com) (94)
(Toronto Star) Interesting What you could buy for one penny in 1793 now costs $1 million. That's some serious inflation  (thestar.com) (72)
(Scientific American) Photoshop Photoshop these colossal engineering marvels  (scientificamerican.com) (14)
(Stuff.co.nz) Interesting Two Australians a day are arrested while travelling abroad. If only there was some godforsaken continent they could be transported to  (stuff.co.nz) (44)
(Huffington Post) Asinine Hey, Chik-fil-A. Imma let you finish, but Papa John's has the best Asian slur on a customer receipt of all time. OF ALL TIME  (huffingtonpost.com) (278)
(Huffington Post) Fail Symantec hacked, source code stolen, sleep tight everyone  (huffingtonpost.com) (165)
(Some Guy) Ironic "Ecnalubma"??  (winnipegfreepress.com) (40)
(Reuters) Sad Five severed heads found in northern Mexican city, officials say they have no body to connect to the crime  (reuters.com) (73)
(Canada.com) Hero Rescue group to save town's out-of-control feral bunny population, just in time for a happy Bunday  (canada.com) (86)
(Seattle Times) Interesting Australia's fondness of vegemite finally explained  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (74)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Amazing black and white New York subway photos from the 1960s show how some things never change. Wait, where's the graffiti?  (dailymail.co.uk) (112)

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