Last night was Blogger Bunko. Blondemom and Malia hosted it. I had never played Bunko before, but it turns out it’s one of those games that is deceptively simple. You just roll some dice and hope to get some numbers. But the nice thing about games with deceptively simple rules is that it lets everyone [...]
Filed under: Friends & Acquaintances | 4 Comments »
Dear House Republicans, Some of you appear unclear on the concept of just what to do when you find out that someone you work with likes to prey on the underage boys who work for you and your other co-workers. This is a crime. You might think that the guy preying on the boys would [...]
Filed under: America how can I write a holy litany in your silly moo, Open Letters to Folks Who Need Them | 4 Comments »
27. You’re liberal, right? So why are you so hard on liberal men? Because liberal men claim to be on my side. I dread doing this, because I know it makes me seem like a humorless bitch, and with all the ways that feminists are typified as humorless bitches, I hate to add to the [...]
Filed under: Fun with Feminism | 5 Comments »
Dear Mr. Abramson, I am so outraged at this latest turn of events, I cannot even bring myself to type your first name. Here’s how things work here in America. I make fun of Kleinheider; Kleinheider plots my gruesome demise (lately, I suspect he’s been planning to beat me to death with Pat Buchanan. Just [...]
Filed under: Open Letters to Folks Who Need Them | 3 Comments »
You know how, on those days when it’s really cold and rainy and you’ve been out because you had to walk the dog, and so you stop off at Starbuck’s and you order yourself a hot chocolate, and you take that first sip and you can feel the heat from it down your throat and [...]
Filed under: Friends & Acquaintances | 4 Comments »
There was a blogger meet-up tonight. Asses were grabbed. Men’s bathrooms were used. Tits were felt. Boob freckles were filmed. Amandas were squeezed. Conservative bloggers were informed how cute they were. Watersports were discussed. And Kleinheider’s “cell phone” was explained to famous internet folks I don’t really know. Paul Chenoweth had the most awesome line of [...]
Filed under: Blogging & Bloggers | 27 Comments »
Dear Tennessean, An old man, a proud veteran, just brought it to my attention that you are attempting to claim copyright on government materials (i.e. mugshots). That is bullshit and we both know it. Shape up. Love, Aunt B. p.s. I hope you enjoy my gratuitous use of this mugshot for no good reason other [...]
Filed under: Open Letters to Folks Who Need Them | 18 Comments »
As we all know, I don’t really get math that well. I have trouble figuring out how to put things together in a proper story problem. And so I don’t know if I have another legitimate gripe with the Tennessee Right to Life folks or not. Now, on their website, they say “For every two [...]
Filed under: America how can I write a holy litany in your silly moo | 48 Comments »
I’ll admit, I put this whole video together just to have an excuse to share this song with you. There’s a freckle for those of you who like my freckles. There’s a little poop humor for those of you who like pooping. And there’s the song, which is both about a bulldog (so you know [...]
Filed under: Adventures with Mrs. Wigglebottom | 20 Comments »
Dear Folks Who Were Planning On Going to Lunch Tomorrow with Amanda Congdon, No dice. She won’t be there. She will still be at Wolfy’s, but not at the Mothership. So says my source at WKRN. Ha, wouldn’t it be awesome if I really had secret sources at WKRN instead of Brittney just desperately begging [...]
Filed under: Open Letters to Folks Who Need Them | 5 Comments »
How is this gossip and not news? A news anchor openly critical of the administration ends up with an envelope full of suspicious white powder delivered to his home and that’s not news? What the fuck, America? Also, how nice of the New York Post to treat the incident as if it were just obvious [...]
Filed under: America how can I write a holy litany in your silly moo | 11 Comments »
It’s time again for the music issue of the Oxford American. I have not read a word of it, though it appears to be chalk full of many of my favorite authors: Peter Guralnick, Cintra Wilson, Tom Piazza, Bill Friskics-Warren, and Charles Wolfe. Charles. There you go. Who can bear to open a magazine knowing [...]
Filed under: Reviews | 1 Comment »
I’m still waiting to get my hands on the Wall Street Journal article in which the “shocking” revelation that Constance Gee smokes pot is made, but alas, you have to pay and I’m not al that excited about paying for it. I did read the article in the Tennessean though. And I think it’s pretty [...]
Filed under: Random Things | 28 Comments »
I grew up in rural America. I have seen some half-assed things. I have seen houses with mold stalactites coming down from the ceiling. I have watched my mom fall through a hole in a porch that was “repaired” by putting some green fake grass carpeting over it. I have put a washcloth on a [...]
Filed under: Guides To Life | 10 Comments »
Well, y’all, it turns out that I’m a political blogger (even if Kleinheider seems to question whether or not I deserve the title) and as such, I’m going to take the opportunity to blog about Tennessee Politics. Bill Hobbs today has a post questioning why Democratic State Senator Doug Henry is not flaunting his endorsement [...]
Filed under: Politics and Other Nonsense | 6 Comments »
I hate the word ‘peoples.’ Hate it. I also hate ‘persons.’ I hate persons because the plural of person is people. I hate peoples because people is already plural. What other word in the English language is a double plural? I can’t think of any. On top of that, it’s always the most pretentious people [...]
Filed under: Things I Hate | 38 Comments »
I just realized that yesterday. I don’t actively dislike Uncle Tupelo–I’m not going around kicking Uncle Tupelo fans or anything–, but I don’t think they’re nearly as great as their reputation. They’re just a band and a band a little too in love with the sound of their own unique spot in history. Fine. But [...]
Filed under: Reviews | 4 Comments »
The Butcher has decided that he might start looking for a new job in a couple of months. My dad has started a subtle, yet effective, campaign to get us up to Illinois to see their new house. I get tired of how easily the same old shit sneaks up on me. Today, I stumbled [...]
Filed under: Ways I'm Fucked Up | 10 Comments »
The Butcher is of the belief that there’s nothing flattering for the imitator. He thinks that if you obviously copy someone’s style, you are a sell-out. I say that it’s not the same if you’re copying an artist that doesn’t actually exist. Then it becomes something bordering on genius. Especially when you consider that it’s [...]
Filed under: The Butcher | Leave a Comment »
So, there I am watching Cold Case, which is one of those shows that one watches only so that one can properly enjoy the MadTV send-up of it, when all of a sudden it dawns on me that this particular episode is strangely biased against guns and violent video games. You know how it came [...]
Filed under: Pop Culture | 28 Comments »
(video no longer available @ YouTube)
Filed under: The Conservative Soap Opera | 28 Comments »
The cool thing about where we live, is that we live right on top of the Battle of Nashville Battlefield. Unlike most major Civil War battlefields, this one was not preserved. There are no vast open swaths of fields, dotted only with monuments to fallen soldiers for people to come and look at in order [...]
Filed under: America how can I write a holy litany in your silly moo | 15 Comments »
My littlest nephew is back with my brother, after a month. My sister-in-law wanted to send him back to the recalcitrant brother after two weeks. She claims she just can’t handle him. I shouldn’t complain, because at least he’s back someplace safe, but it just pisses me off that she makes it out like it’s [...]
Filed under: Things I Hate | 3 Comments »
I watched The Dukes of Hazzard yesterday and I’m still mulling it over today. On a lesser note, I wonder why the make-up people didn’t do more to get rid of the dark circles under Johnny Knoxville’s eyes. He looked a little like Zombie Luke Duke. But I still find him fun to watch. But [...]
Filed under: Reviews | 4 Comments »
When I walked into their house, one of the first things that the Legal Eagle said to me was that I sure had a Southern accent. I denied it. Doing these videos, though, has made it obvious. It’s so nice and sunny out that I want to just go lay outside, but that would mean [...]
Filed under: Random Things | 1 Comment »
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