Today was a weird day. First, Roger Abramson called me “overwrought” and then the thread was overrun by the Nashville chapter of the Ku Klux Klan, so I was unable to properly fight with him, for all the idiots screaming. Then Bill Hobbs came after me and by the end of the day, I was [...]
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If you, like me, were slowly knitting your way through your first cardigan sweater and watching the coverage of the aftermath of Katrina, you might have been struck by how, at about eight o’clock the coverage shifted from the massive devastation and death along the Gulf Coast, the unbearable stories of death and the unbelievable [...]
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Fritz has offered to father my children. I’ve agreed. Due to the fact that we share an appreciation for a handsome penis, we will not be getting married. Also, I’ve just succeeded in stopping my toilet from running and am feeling all rugged and manly. I’m not sure if those two things–having a total stranger [...]
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Ah, Kansas, working hard to make sure its child brides get themselves a good edumacation. Obviously, if God hadn’t wanted twelve year old girls to be able to marry, He wouldn’t have designed it so they could have babies. Nebraska’s Attorney General must be some kind of godless communist heathen for prosecuting a twenty-two year [...]
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This morning I couldn’t walk the dog because of the rain and I can already tell that it’s going to put me out of sorts for the rest of the day. This morning I heard from my one friend in New Orleans. He’s safe in Missouri, but he and his partner are pretty sure they’ll [...]
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She picked up the drum to play and tore it to pieces, She danced under the Odan tree and tore that to pieces. I’ve been thinking all day of Bob Dylan’s song “High Water (for Charley Patton).” I don’t think it’s a song you can so much write about as map. You’d have to put [...]
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When I lived in the Midwest, I really had no good idea of how large hurricanes were. So, for those of you trying to understand the monstrousness of Katrina, here’s some observations. Nashville is about eight hours from the Gulf. Lots of people from this area go down there on vacation, hence its nickname, The [...]
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My favorite dead guys made the New York Times today. That is all. No complaining. You do something cool and I’ll hype the shit out of you, too.
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Looking at Bush’s 36% approval rating, thinking about the war in Iraq, and watching two episodes of Bill Maher back to back has me wondering about the Dixie Chicks. It’s still common Music Row wisdom that the Dixie Chicks’ career is pretty much over, that coming out against the President was too big a sin [...]
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So, it was all very mysterious, the way that one of the Professor’s 57 lovers was like “I know how to get my hands on some footage of two hermaphrodites having sex.” and how he said he would burn it on a CD for her and how he came to her place and she ran [...]
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Here are two pieces of wisdom the Shill imparted to me over a decade ago. They are as true now as they were then. 1. If you want to tell if it’s ridiculous for you to be dating someone, take the older person’s age, divide it by 2 and add seven. If the younger person’s [...]
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Yes, it’s true, Tiny Cat Pants merchandise makes work 100% more enjoyable, as evidence by the large smile on the Shill’s face.
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In two of my dad’s churches, the front of the churches were set up so that there was a raised area surrounded by the communion rail. The podiums were towards the front of the raised area. Then there was some open space and towards the back, there was a table where the offering plates, Bible, [...]
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1. Today when the Butcher came to pick me up from work, he said, “Two dollar beers.” To which I said, “Are you going to come?” To which he said, “Can I sign autographs?” To which I said, “If people ask for them.” And then I said, “Wait, how did you know?” And he said, [...]
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You should blog because you just never know. Here we are, one of the most literate societies to ever exist. Almost all of us can read and write. In five hundred years, when historians wonder what that was like, for so many people to be so in touch with each other all the time, they’ll [...]
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“McCain told the Star that, like Bush, he believes ‘all points of view’ should be available to students studying the origins of mankind.”–The Arizona Daily Star Here’s one for the kids. The world started like this: there was a wide gaping nothing for a long time and then at one end of the nothing, it [...]
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Most days, when Mrs. Wigglebottom and I walk by the run down house two in from the corner, there’s a loud knock at the window and a hand waves furiously. I wave back. The other day, there was no knock, but after we’d gotten a house away, an old man came running out, “Hey, pretty [...]
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If you’re a Nashville blogger, or perhaps driving the car of a Nashville blogger because yours has been repossessed, I expect to see you here. If you’re a Murfreesboro blogger, I won’t expect to see you, but I’ll be holding out hope.
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“I can’t be accountable for deals that never really existed.” I keep thinking of Abigail Adams, writing her husband, begging for our rights–”I long to hear that you have declared an independency. And, by the way, in the new code of laws which I suppose it will be necessary for you to make, I desire [...]
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Dean Dad has a brilliant post–or at least I’m assuming it’s brilliant, because it’s about money and budgeting and I think we’re all clear on how little that shit makes sense to me. So, this post seems clear and smart, therefore I want to call it brilliant, but I feel I must warn y’all to [...]
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When I worked at Dairy Queen, I used to drive home across the backroads between the town I worked in and the town I lived in. When there was a full moon, I could turn off my lights and drive with the road a silvery ribbon draped through the corn fields. We used to go [...]
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I’m outraged by the comment spam, but don’t want to turn anonymous comments off, so the compromise is that you have to type in the word you see on the comments. Let me know if you think this is stupid or if you have any trouble with it, but shit, people I just had to [...]
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Yes, America, my head hit the pillow at 8:45 last night and I didn’t wake up until 6:15. It was marvelous. I love sleeping. Mrs. Wigglebottom, however, did not sleep very well because she’s very unhappy about the bicycle in the kitchen. She spent much of last evening growling and eyeing it suspiciously and this [...]
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Unfortunately my cousin’s wedding is becoming the biggest source of drama in my life after the Butcher’s vehicle woes. For some reason, the wedding festivities are now stretched out over three days and I’ve had to enter into tense negotiations with my father about what to do with the dog. My dad wants me to [...]
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Well, what the hell? I can just do what everyone else does when they’re out of inspiration: post pet pictures. Here’s the tiny cat and the orange cat, for those of you who are curious.
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