close
The Wayback Machine - https://web.archive.org/web/20120103092652/http://mariopiperni.com/
BERJAYA
Featured Posts
  • Newt The Dinosaur Guy

    Newt The Dinosaur Guy

    Here's what an ass sounds like when he's: a) so full of himself, it starts oozing out of every body orifice. b) so desperate to win that he... c) tries to win over ...

    Read More

  • Barry Goldwater’s Warning About Conservatives Without Conscience

    Barry Goldwater's Warning About Conservatives Without Conscience

    Yes, Virginia, there was a time when a degree of sanity did exist within the ranks of the Republican party, a time when sanity had not yet been overrun by ...

    Read More

  • Ron Paul’s Constitutional Hood

    Ron Paul's Constitutional Hood

    If the character of those whom we attract is any sign of who we really are, then it just got a little uglier for Ron Paul. “Everybody, all of us back ...

    Read More

  • Vice-President Hillary Clinton?

    Vice-President Hillary Clinton?

    I think I like this. My political prediction for 2012 (based on absolutely no inside information): Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden swap places. Biden becomes Secretary of State -- a position ...

    Read More

  • Rick Perry’s Elusive Search For a Brain

    Rick Perry's Elusive Search For a Brain

    Rick Perry wins the Idiot Quote of the Week award. “Every barrel of oil that comes out of those sands in Canada is a barrel of oil that we don’t have ...

    Read More

  • Blame The Gays

    Blame The Gays

    Well placed snark can be a beautiful thing. There was a story last week about Minnesota Senate Majority Leader Amy Koch resigning after it was revealed that she was having an ...

    Read More

  • You’ll Never Hear About It On Fox News

    You'll Never Hear About It On Fox News

    You knew that the boys and girl vying to become the Republican presidential nominee next year were lying through their teeth but you may not have known by how much. If ...

    Read More

  • Congress’ Unfolding Tragicomedy

    Congress' Unfolding Tragicomedy

    You would be forgiven if you did not know whether you should laugh or cry at the farce unfolding in Congress these days.  The latest is Republicans' handling of the ...

    Read More

  • Ron Paul’s Big, Red Clown Shoes

    Ron Paul's Big, Red Clown Shoes

    Andrew Sullivan over at The Dish made the decision last week to endorse Ron Paul over Jon Huntsman (although, smart conservative that he is, he's still voting Obama in November).  ...

    Read More

  • Pray Away The Bachmann

    Pray Away The Bachmann

    As if anyone needed another reason to hope that Michele Bachmann never gets within a mile of the Oval Office. Marcus Bachmann says he’d use the position of first husband to ...

    Read More

  • General Tells Republicans What’s What

    General Tells Republicans What's What

    Here's the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Martin Dempsey, slapping around Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann and every other Republican who believes that the commander-in-chief's role is one of ...

    Read More

  • Kim Jong-Il’s Korea – A Human Rights Hell On Earth

    Kim Jong-Il's Korea - A Human Rights Hell On Earth

    Human Rights Watch on the death of North Korea's tyrannical sociopath, Kim Jong-Il. Kim Jong-Il exercised total control for 17 years over one of the world’s most closed and repressive governments. ...

    Read More

  • John McCain’s Never-Ending War

    John McCain's Never-Ending War

    John McCain is still having problems accepting his 2008 defeat. "It is clear that this decision of a complete pullout of United States troops from Iraq was dictated by politics, and ...

    Read More

  • Rick Perry – Republican’s Bum Steer

    Rick Perry - Republican's Bum Steer

    One of the highlights from last night's debate. I'm kind of getting where I like the debates. As a matter of fact, I hope Obama and I debate a lot. I'll ...

    Read More

  • The Gingrich Monkey Climb

    The Gingrich Monkey Climb

    Gingrich is a goldmine for people like me.  There is nothing like a bloviating clown in a suit to inspire the creative soul. So for as long as Newt is ...

    Read More

  • Newt Gingrich’s ‘Graveyard in the Closet’

    Newt Gingrich's 'Graveyard in the Closet'

    The GOP establishment has gone into serious panic mode with the very real possibility that Newt Gingrich might end up as their candidate.  Three weeks before the opening caucuses, a ...

    Read More

  • The GOP Debate’s Tweet of the Day

    The GOP Debate's Tweet of the Day

    Andy Borowitz tweets last night's Republican debate. "Other countries care for the mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel." Who can argue with that? ___ Follow MarioPiperniDotCom on Facebook, Twitter and ...

    Read More

  • Newt Gingrich’s “Invented Palestinians”

    Newt Gingrich's Invented Palestinians

    Another Republican pandering for the Jewish vote by making an extremist and ridiculous statement. We’ve had an invented Palestinian people who are in fact Arabs and are historically part of the ...

    Read More

  • The Nasty Mr. Santorum

    The Nasty Mr. Santorum

    Here's Mr. Family Values guy talking about what he'd do with illegal immigrants and their families. "You can't be here for 20 years and commit only one illegal act ... because ...

    Read More

  • Late Night Political Humor

    Late Night Political Humor

    Via Political Humor... "To save money, the U.S. Postal Service announced the end of next-day service. That's a good way to get people to come back, isn't it? Make your service ...

    Read More

Newt The Dinosaur Guy

BERJAYA

Here’s what an ass sounds like when he’s:

a) so full of himself, it starts oozing out of every body orifice.
b) so desperate to win that he…
c) tries to win over the idiot base by pretending he doesn’t believe in global warming science.

“I’m an amateur paleontologist, so I’ve spent a lot of time looking at the earth’s temperature over a very long time,” Gingrich said. “I’m a lot harder to convince than just by looking at a computer model.”

Pathetic.  Newt Gingrich once dreamed of becoming a zookeeper, read a couple of books on dinosaurs and kept a T-Rex skull in his office when he served as Speaker of the House and that, he believes, qualifies him to dismiss climate change data as erroneous.  Gingrich, the pseudo-intellectual, pseudo-scientist bullshit artist feels he’s better equipped to determine the validity of climate science than the 98% of the world’s climatologists who study this stuff day in, day out and warn of the impending danger of ignoring the data.

Gingrich’s statement is too ridiculous for words but yet they’re words of wisdom to those less knowledgeable than Newt.  That’s simply the way it works.

___

Follow MarioPiperniDotCom on Facebook, Twitter and Google+.
.

Barry Goldwater’s Warning About Conservatives Without Conscience

BERJAYA

Yes, Virginia, there was a time when a degree of sanity did exist within the ranks of the Republican party, a time when sanity had not yet been overrun by delusion and madness…

“Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can’t and won’t compromise. I know, I’ve tried to deal with them.”

~ Barry Goldwater, November 1994, as quoted in John Dean, Conservatives Without Conscience (2006)

And now the religious right has been joined by the Tea Party crowd whose understanding of compromise and its crucial role in a functioning democracy is as deficient and dangerous as that of the Pat Robertsons of the party.  I would go as far as to suggest that the Teapublicans in Congress pose a greater threat to the welfare of Americans than the combined efforts of every terrorist group in the world.  The first requirement in dealing with danger is recognizing its presence and no one has a problem understanding that terrorists pose a threat.  Not so with recognizing the danger presented by the slew of Tea Partiers in Congress where only a handful of conservatives have come to realize the destructive role these people play in making Congress an even more dysfunctional body.  As well-meaning as some within the Tea Party may be, their dogmatic and intolerant attitude to compromise and understanding (as that of the religious right), only aids in weakening the political system.

Incidentally, I just finished reading Dean’s Conservatives Without Conscience over the holidays.  It’s a good read if you’re at all interested in the evolution of the conservative movement and learning how the Republican party turned into the authoritarian entity it is today.  Dean’s culprits are the religious right and the neoconservative wing of the party which have moved the GOP so far to the right that he believes the core principles of conservatism have been trampled upon and left unrecognizable – so far to the right has it shifted, says Dean, that he, a Goldwater conservative who has not altered his basic conservative beliefs, now finds himself stranded at the left of center.

___

And I did want to say thank you to all my readers and a sincere wish that the new year (and if we’re to believe the New Agers interpretation of the Mayan calendar, our final year as we know it) is a good one.

Thank you.

___

Follow MarioPiperniDotCom on Facebook, Twitter and Google+.
.

 

Ron Paul’s Constitutional Hood

BERJAYA

If the character of those whom we attract is any sign of who we really are, then it just got a little uglier for Ron Paul.

“Everybody, all of us back in the 80?s and 90?s, felt Ron Paul was, you know, unusual in that he had actually been a Congressman, that he was one of us and now, of course, that he has this broad demographic–broad base of support,” Mr. Black said on his broadcast yesterday.

Mr. Black is a former Klansman and member of the American Nazi Party who founded the “white nationalist” website Stormfront in 1995. He donated to Mr. Paul in 2007 and has been photographed with the candidate. Mr. Paul has vocal supporters in Stormfront’s online forum. Mr. Black has repeatedly said he doesn’t currently think Mr. Paul is a “white nationalist.”

In addition to Black, Paul has also drawn the endorsement of David Duke, former KKK Grand Wizard, anti-semite and all around pile of scum who finds Paul’s anti-Israel shtick appealing.

“So, I would vote for Ron Paul at this moment because he’s one of the few candidates who have policies in this regard and this realm that I wholeheartedly support, and that’s why I’d vote for him.”

Is Paul bothered by the fact that avowed racists endorse him?  Apparently not.  His take is that people like Black and Duke are endorsing his policies as opposed to Paul endorsing what the racists say.  True but would a true non-bigot not be alarmed (or, at the least, concerned) that racist hatemongers are attracted to their policies?  Not Ron Paul.

Then there’s gay activist Dan Savage’s take on Paul’s bigotry as he compares it to Rick Santorum’s.

Ron is older than my father, far less toxic than Santorum, and, as he isn’t beloved of religious conservatives, he isn’t out there stoking the hatreds of our social and political enemies. And Ron may not like gay people, and may not want to hang out with us or use our toilets, but he’s content to leave us the fuck alone and recognizes that gay citizens are entitled to the same rights as all other citizens. Santorum, on the other hand, believes that his bigotry must be given the force of law. That’s an important difference.

Fair enough but one can make the argument that Paul’s real interest in this matter has nothing to do with individual’s rights and everything to do with states’ rights. A Dish reader explains:

Essentially, Paul has no interest in leaving anybody alone. He only wants to get rid of one government scared into submission by oppressive douchebags and replace it with 50 governments scared into submission by oppressive douchebags.

You can run from your past but hiding is another matter…

___

Follow MarioPiperniDotCom on Facebook, Twitter and Google+.
.

BERJAYA

BERJAYA

.

Late Night Political Humor – Best of 2011

BERJAYA

My picks of some of the year’s best from Political Humor‘s compiled list…

”Osama Bin Laden’s supporters want to rename the Arabian Sea where his body was dumped Martyr Sea. Really? Martyr Sea? Hiding in your bedroom for six years? How about Chicken of the Sea?” —Jay Leno

”The Republicans are so happy about bin Laden they’ve granted President Obama full citizenship.” —David Letterman

BERJAYA”I think the next election just got a lot easier for President Obama ’cause his response to every question during the debates will be: ‘Wait, I forget…Did you kill Osama Bin Laden? Or did I kill Osama Bin Laden. Oh no, it was me, wasn’t it?”’ —Craig Ferguson

”President Obama’s approval rating is at a two-year high in the wake of Osama bin Laden’s death. If I were Obama, I’d fish bin Laden out of the ocean and kill him every Sunday.” —Jimmy Kimmel

”No! Not Captain Buzzkill! Not the guy who looks like everyone who ever fired your dad! He’s gonna suck all the fun right out of this crazy thing. Just look at the online video announcing his run. It looks like it could double as an ad for erectile dysfunction pills. ‘Mitt Romney: for when the moment’s right.”’ —Jon Stewart on Mitt Romney running for president

BERJAYA

Mitt Romney - Rebellion!

”As the Republicans continue checking underneath every available flag pin and Bible for viable candidates, presumed de facto frontrunner candidate Mitt Romney has gotta be thinking, ‘What the fudge? This is starting to hurt where my feelings should be.”’ —Jon Stewart

”Several congressmen have filed a lawsuit against President Obama for getting us involved in Libya. They claim Obama got the U.S. in a Middle East war without authorization from Congress. To which Dick Cheney and Bush said, ‘You can get sued for that?”’ —Jay Leno

”Egypt has responded to hundreds of thousands of protesters by shutting down the Internet. Just a word of advice: If you want people to stay at home and do nothing, you should turn the Internet back on.” —Conan O’Brien

”You gotta love Sarah Palin. She is now on her website asking her idiot fan base for donations for her to help make a decision about whether or not to run. She wants money now for just thinking? What a grifter.” —Bill Maher

”Sarah Palin continues to make significant contributions to the English language. She asked, ‘Is Libya a war, an intervention, a squrmish, what is it?’ Squirmish is how I feel every time I hear Sarah Palin talk.” —Jimmy Kimmel

BERJAYA”Bristol Palin just announced she had corrective surgery on her mouth. It’s being called the right procedure on the wrong Palin.” —Conan O’Brien

‘We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.” —Bill Maher, on the Arizona shooting massacre

”New Rule: When you make stupid into an art form, it’s not stupid anymore. We just found out that the ‘Sarah Palin’ who writes Sarah Palin’s Facebook page is a fake. But the real Sarah Palin has her own Facebook page, under a fake name, and sometimes the ‘real fake’ Sarah Palin praises the work of the ‘fake real’ Sarah Palin. It’s like Inception for hillbillies. There’s also a rumor that she doesn’t really need glasses, she just wears them to look smart. And when she has them on, Todd doesn’t know she’s Superman.” —Bill Maher

”Sarah Palin visited the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. There was an awkward moment when she said, ‘So this is what keeps the Mexicans out?”’ —Conan O’Brien

”Michele Bachmann is kind of like Sarah Palin but without the charisma — or marksmanship. You know, maybe we should stop telling kids that anyone can grow up to be president of the United States.” —Jimmy Kimmel

BERJAYA”New Rule: Stop comparing Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann just because they’re both Republican women. And crazy. And know-nothings. And Jesus freaks, who claim to receive messages from God. Who both get their historical facts wrong all the time. Who both give off a sound that only animals can hear and makes microwaves explode. Seriously, stop comparing them.” —Bill Maher

”I’m not certain of a lot of things. But there are three things in this world that I know for certain: Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars movie. OJ killed those people. And what my erect penis looks like in my own underwear from a bird’s-eye view.” —Jon Stewart, on Rep. Anthony Weiner saying he ”can’t say with certitude” whether a lewd picture posted on Twitter wasn’t his wiener

”Herman Cain said he’d only drop out of the race if his wife is no longer behind him. His wife said she’s always behind him, because there’s never any room under him.” —Conan O’Brien

BERJAYA

”Herman Cain said he wants people to know that there’s more between his ears than pepperoni and pizza sauce. He says there’s also a few napkins and crazy bread.” —Conan O’Brien

”Donald Trump insisted yesterday that he is not racist, because one time an African-American won ‘Apprentice.’ Because nothing says ‘not racist’ like making a black man run your errands.” —Conan O’Brien

”Chris Christie decided not to run. He had a big decision. He weighed the pros. He weighed the cons. He weighed himself. I like the guy. This is a candidate we could have all gotten behind. Now they’re saying he might be a Vice Presidential candidate. He’d make a great one. I’ll bet this guy knows how to spell ‘potato.”’ —David Letterman

”This morning on the ‘Today’ show, Jenna Bush interviewed Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy was so confused and inarticulate that Jenna accidentally called him ‘dad.”’ —Conan O’Brien

”These people could have personally witnessed him being born out of an apple pie, in the middle of a Kansas wheat field, while Toby Keith sang the National Anthem and they’d still think Obama was a Kenyan Muslim.” —Jimmy Kimmel

BERJAYA”Today President Obama released his long-form birth certificate, proving once and for all he was born in this country. But you know, it never ends. Now Republican leaders are saying they want to see the placenta.” —Jay Leno

”A gay activist dumped glitter all over Newt Gingrich. He wants Newt to stop being against gay marriage. But Newt believes marriage is a sacred bond between a man and his wife and his mistress and the other woman he’s seeing on the side.” —Jay Leno

”Newt Gingrich said he’s afraid America will become an atheist country dominated by radical Islamists. Right. Our big problem could be religious atheists, almost as bad as pacifist warmongers. If they hook up with the communist capitalists we’re screwed.” —Jay Leno

”Newt Gingrich wants to repeal child labor laws. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the man that we need to lead us into the 18th century.” —David Letterman

BERJAYA”House Speaker John Boehner says President Obama should have clearly outlined his exact plans before bombing Libya. Apparently it’s only Iraq where you don’t have to do that.” —Jay Leno

”This is the first debate Rick Perry has participated in since he announced his candidacy. Perry is a mix between George W. Bush and Yosemite W. Sam.” —Jimmy Kimmel

”Big news from last night’s Republican debate, you guys. It turns out George Bush was actually the smart Texas governor. … Look, I know these Rick Perry jokes are a little mean, but tomorrow, he won’t even remember them.” —Jimmy Fallon

”Tonight was the 14th republican presidential debate, or as Barack Obama has started calling them, campaign ads.” —Jimmy Fallon

”If you’re keeping score at home, they have now applauded executions at the Republican debate, they have cheered letting an uninsured man die, and they booed an active duty U.S. serviceman for being gay. I don’t know how you get to the right with this crowd but Ron Paul’s new campaign ad is just the Rodney King beating to the sound of children laughing.” —Bill Maher

BERJAYA”You got to feel bad for poor Mitt Romney. He’s in their plugging every week, and every week somebody gets ahead of him. The people who have led Mitt so far: Donal Trump, then Michele Bachmann, then Rick Perry, now Herman Cain. He’s been led by a reality show star, a crazy lady, a stuttering cowboy, and the guy who brings the pizza. That’s gotta hurt a little.” —Bill Maher

”You want to add another candidate? It’s like the Republican primary is a season of ‘American Idol’ in reverse, where every week you just add some new idiot… Have you ever considered the possibility that your candidates aren’t the problem — it’s you?” —Jon Stewart to the GOP base

”Republican voters have been reduced to using the same criteria as a 4 a.m. barroom pickup: he has a pulse and no visible cold sores.” —Stephen Colbert

”Hank Williams Jr. got his ass kicked off of Monday Night Football. His crime was comparing Obama to Hitler on Fox News. Or as it used to be called, ‘The Glenn Beck Show.’ … If we are going to fire every Southern hillbilly who thinks Obama is like Hitler, who will be our Republican congressmen?” —Bill Maher

”Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid now wants to outlaw prostitution. Let’s make politicians illegal and keep the hookers. At least they’re upfront about screwing you.” —Jay Leno

BERJAYA”I’m upset that Mike Huckabee criticized Natalie Portman for having a child out of wedlock. Listen, I’m no fan of unwed mothers either, but this is Natalie Portman we’re talking about. That unborn child is Luke Skywalker.” —Stephen Colbert

”The President of China is in Washington. It’s a bit like when you’re into your bookie for more than you can afford, and he stops by the house to say hello.” —Jimmy Kimmel

”My great-grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants.” —Stephen Colbert

You’ll find a lot more of the year’s best late night humor at Political Humor.

___

Follow MarioPiperniDotCom on Facebook, Twitter and Google+.
.

Vice-President Hillary Clinton?

BERJAYA

I think I like this.

My political prediction for 2012 (based on absolutely no inside information): Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden swap places. Biden becomes Secretary of State — a position he’s apparently coveted for years. And Hillary Clinton, Vice President.

So the Democratic ticket for 2012 is Obama-Clinton.

Why do I say this? Because Obama needs to stir the passions and enthusiasms of a Democratic base that’s been disillusioned with his cave-ins to regressive Republicans. Hillary Clinton on the ticket can do that.

Interesting.  An Obama-Clinton ticket is a positive on so many fronts, I can’t see a downside to it.  The economy will still be a drag come November so what better way to rev up voters than by adding some juice to the ticket.  But I doubt it’ll happen.

Clinton has already stated she plans on leaving the Secretary of State post and has no interest in the VP job.  But hey, this is the daffy world of politics where yesterday’s hard held belief is today’s easy-bake flip-flop…so you never know.

___

Follow MarioPiperniDotCom on Facebook, Twitter and Google+.
.