Of Swings and Missile Attacks
Innocence at war.
I’m finally sinking my teeth into Jane Mayer’s powerful tome “The Dark Side: The Inside Story of How the War on Terror Turned into a War on American Ideals.”
Mayer is an excellent journalist (who writes for the New Yorker) and the book was a finalist for the National Book Award in 2008. The paperback I’m reading was updated in 2009. The story of the Bush administration’s overreaction and violent response to the 9/11 attacks comes to life once again.
I found this passage on the Clinton’s administration’s hesitation to assassinate Osama bin Laden chilling:
“The United States had the military might to destroy Bin Laden and his followers literally at the flick of a switch. Steve Coll, in his brilliant history of the pre-September 11 U.S. involvement in Afghanistan, Ghost Wars, describes how with the aid of the real-time video imagery transmitted by the Predator, the most powerful and technically advanced military force in the history of the world was able to stare from halfway around the globe at a tall, white-robed sheikh believed to be Bin Laden. The terrorist leader who had declared war against the United States could be watched as he walked through the primitive, undefended, mud-walled compound he and his terrorist associates and their families inhabited in the bleak, sage-brush-strewn plains outside of Kandahar, Afghanistan.
The video imagery was so exquisitely detailed, U.S. officials viewing the videotapes at the CIA and White House could make out a lone child’s swing hanging in the compound, known as Tarnak Farms. The robed man seemed to present an irresistible target for missile attack. But the swing haunted Clinton. It was in a sense, the perfect symbol of the cultural, political, and strategic standoff described in Washington think tanks as “asymmetrical warfare.” The swing suggested innocent children lived there. The United States, for all of its military prowess, was a hamstrung Gulliver in the face of Lilliputian terrorists willing to sacrifice innocent lives in a way no civilized nation could.”
In hindsight, Clinton likely wishes he had pulled the trigger, but hindsight is always 20/20. That passage gave me renewed respect for Clinton, who weighed the consequences of war and murder carefully through a moral filter of right and wrong.
As Mayer outlines in her book, these filters were, unfortunately, not present in the Bush administration.
The Powerful Will to Live
Short Story: “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” by Ambrose Bierce
The usual complaint about Ambrose Bierce’s “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” is that it’s too melodramatic. To that I say: “Hogwash! Poppycock!”
Melodrama? Hardly.
On the surface “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” is an adventure tale – the improbable escape from the noose by the Southern planter Peyton Farquhar from Union soldiers during the Civil War. Here we have the hanging itself, the snapping of the rope and the plunge into the slow-moving stream. We have the rifle shots and the cannon fire as Peyton swims to the shore and barrels into the wilderness to escape.
This is all make-believe, however. Farquhar’s imagination at work in the last final seconds of his life.
At its heart, “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” is about the savage, mad instinct that each human being has to survive; to hope and dream – to live against all the odds. How Peyton’s entire life becomes a few precious seconds:
“And now he became conscious of a new disturbance. Striking through the thought of his dear ones was a sound which he could neither ignore nor understand, a sharp, distinct, metallic percussion like the stroke of a blacksmith’s hammer upon the anvil; it had the same ringing quality.
He wondered what it was, and whether immeasurably distant or near by–it seemed both. Its recurrence was regular, but as slow as the tolling of a death knell. He awaited each stroke with impatience and–he knew not why–apprehension. The intervals of silence grew progressively longer, the delays became maddening. With their greater infrequency the sounds increased in strength and sharpness. They hurt his ear like the thrust of a knife; he feared he would shriek.
What he heard was the ticking of his watch.”
This is the last part of the story that is set in reality – until the grim last sentence. The rest of the story takes place in a fantasy world that Peyton has created in the last seconds of his life. The reader is given hints that we aren’t in the real world – primarily through Peyton’s supernaturally heightened perceptions.
For example, when he surfaces from the water he can see “grey spiders stretching from their webs from twig to twig” and the “dewdrops upon a million blades of grass.” He even sees the gray eyes of a Union sharpshooter looking at him through his rifle sights.
Despite the fact that Peyton in many ways is an unlikable character (there are hints he is a racist), Bierce manages to make the reader root for him. These flaws in Peyton’s character are, in fact, why we want him to live. Keep in mind that the story was written in 1886 – when the wounds of the Civil War were still healing. Simply making Peyton a confederate was a character flaw.
However, the real problem with Peyton’s character is that he has romanticized the war. Forced to sit out of the struggle for unknown reasons, Peyton – a rich slave owner in Alabama – considers himself a “civilian soldier.” So when a Union spy dressed as a confederate soldier alerts him to the advancing enemy army, Peyton suggests to the man that he would be willing to burn down Owl Creek Bridge.
Peyton has foolishly – like a child – fallen into a trap. Another one of his flaws is the way he recklessly doesn’t think about the risk – the consequences to his wife and his children. In fact, he takes them for granted until he stands on the bridge with a noose wrapped around his neck.
But this moment is also his redemption. Peyton Farquhar will die on this day. Quickly and painfully, but his last thoughts will be of escaping – of trying to forge his way home to his wife and his children. His last thought is of reaching out to his beautiful wife – witnessing the joy in her expression.
And that’s it. Lights out. Game over.
Bierce was a magnificent writer. His prose is simple and precise, but he conveys his message with a savage irony and light sarcasm (you have to read the story carefully to fully appreciate it). This is why Kurt Vonnegut called “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” one of the greatest works in American literature.
Because it is.
Vonnegut also noted that anyone who hadn’t read it was a “twerp.” So if you haven’t – get to it.
Photo courtesy of Flickr by Scott Clark
If You Want Blood…
The bust of Greek hero Diomedes.
…”The Iliad” has it.
From Robert Fagles superb 1990 translation of the epic poem by Homer (Book 5: Diomedes Fights the Gods):
“Shaft poised, he hurled and its long shadow flew
and struck Tydides’ shield, the brazen spearhead
winging, drilling right on through to his breastplate,
Pandarus yelling over him wildly now, “You’re hit–
clean through the side! You won’t last long, I’d say–
now the glory’s mine!”
But never shaken,
staunch Diomedes shot back, “No hit– you missed!
But the two of you will never quit this fight, I’d say,
till one of you drops and dies and gluts with blood
Ares who hacks at men behind this rawhide shield!”
With that he hurled and Athena drove the shaft
and it split the archer’s nose between the eyes–
it cracked his glistening teeth, the tough bronze
cut off his tongue at the roots, smashed his jaw
and the point came ripping out beneath his chin.
He pitched from his car, armor clanged against him,
a glimmering blaze of metal dazzling round his back–
the purebreds reared aside, hoofs pawing the air
and his life and power slipped away on the wind.”
Hard to find a bloodier or more action packed battle scene anywhere in literature or in Hollywood for that matter…
10 Great Minor Characters in Dickens
Fagin
Novel: Oliver Twist
Year: 1838
Description: “As he glided stealthily along, creeping beneath the shelter of the walls and doorways, the hideous old man seemed like some loathsome reptile, engendered in the slime and darkness through which he moved: crawling forth, by night, in search of some rich offal for a meal.”
Occupation: Criminal mastermind (and the Artful Dodger’s boss)
Artful Nugget: Fagin is a monstrosity who runs a pack of orphans as a criminal enterprise. He’s also used an example of Dickens’ alleged anti-Semitism because he is often referred to as “The Jew.” Jewish characters are few and far between in Victorian literature, but Dickens also created a likable Jewish character in “Our Mutual Friend.”
Why We Love Him: Fagin is a loathsome toad, but unforgettable as a villain.
Jacob Marley
Novel: A Christmas Carol
Year: 1843
Description: “Marley’s face was not in impenetrable shadow as the other objects in the yard were, but had a dismal light about it, like a bad lobster in a dark cellar. It was not angry or ferocious, but looked at Scooge as Marley used to look: with ghostly spectacles turned up on its ghostly forehead. The hair was curiously stirred, as if by breath or hot air; and, though the eyes were wide open, they were perfectly motionless. That, and its livid colour, made it horrible; but its horror seemed to be in spite of the face and beyond its control, rather than part of its own expression.”
Occupation: Moneylender
Artful Nugget: Amazingly, in the Walt Disney version “Mickey’s Christmas Carol, Marley is played by Goofy.
Why We Love Him: “Marley is imprisoned in death by his greed in life. It’s hard not to have this image seared into your mind: The chain he drew was clasped about his middle. It was long, and wound about him like a tail; and it was made (for Scrooge observed it closely) of cash-boxes, keys, padlocks, ledgers, deeds, and heavy purses wrought in steel.”
Estella Havisham
Novel: Great Expectations
Year: 1861
Description: “The lady whom I had never seen before, lifted up her eyes and looked archly at me, and then I saw that the eyes were Estella’s eyes. But she was so much changed, was so much more beautiful, so much more womanly, in all things winning admiration had made such wonderful advance, that I seemed to have made none. I fancied, as I looked at her, that I slipped hopelessly back into the coarse and common boy again.”
Occupation: Lady
Artful Nugget: Estella is referenced in Alanis Morissette’s song “All I Really Want.”
Why We Love Her: Beautiful and with a heart of ice, Estella is the prototype of the femme fatale.
Tiny Tim
Novel: A Christmas Carol
Year: 1843
Description: “Alas for Tiny Tim, he bore a little crutch, and had his limbs supported by an iron frame.”
Occupation: None (an invalid little boy)
Artful Nugget: What exactly was wrong with Tiny Tim? Dickens doesn’t tell readers, but there’s been speculation that Tiny Tim had renal tubular acidosis – a form of kidney disease.
Why We Love Him: Diseased and dying, yet beloved by his family and the always the eternal optimist. It’s almost impossible to read about Tiny Tim’s death (with his crutch leaning against the hearth) and not get misty eyed.
Uriah Heep
Novel: David Copperfield
Year: 1850
Description: “As I came back, I saw Uriah Heep shutting up the office; and feeling friendly towards everybody, went in and spoke to him, and at parting, gave him my hand. But oh, what a clammy hand his was! as ghostly to the touch as to the sight! I rubbed mine afterwards, to warm it, AND TO RUB HIS OFF. It was such an uncomfortable hand, that, when I went to my room, it was still cold and wet upon my memory. Leaning out of the window, and seeing one of the faces on the beam-ends looking at me sideways, I fancied it was Uriah Heep got up there somehow, and shut him out in a hurry.”
Occupation: Clerk
Artful Nugget: Was Uriah Heep a metaphor for masturbation? The character’s hands are often described as wet, clammy, and sticky.
Why We Love Him: Is there a more obsequious character in English literature? No one uses the word “humble” to better effect.
Daniel Quilp
Novel: The Old Curiosity Shop
Year: 1841
Description: “The creature appeared quite horrible with his monstrous head and little body, as he rubbed his hands slowly round, and round, and round again – with something fantastic even in his manner of performing this slight action – and, dropping his shaggy brows and cocking his chin in air, glanced upwards with a stealthy look of exultation that an imp might have copied and appropriated to himself.”
Occupation: Moneylender
Artful Nugget: Quilp a twisted, greedy hobgoblin – but he gets his just desserts when he becomes lost in the London fog and drowns in the Thames River.
Why We Love Him: One of the Seven Dwarfs he’s not. But he’s one of Dickens most dastardly characters.
Sam Weller
Novel: The Pickwick Papers
Year: 1837
Description: “’My man is in the right, although his mode of expressing his opinion is somewhat homely, and occasionally incomprehensible.’”
Occupation: Servant
Artful Nugget: Sam Weller is the funniest character in a humorous novel – and comes up with nuggets of witty – and often
Why We Love Him: He’s simple, yet wise – filled with anecdotes and crazy opinions, but very big-hearted and kind underneath it all.
Gaffer Hexam
Novel: Our Mutual Friend
Year: 1864-65
Description:Half savage as the man showed, with no covering on his matted head, with his brown arms bare to between the elbow and the shoulder, with the loose knot of a looser kerchief lying low on his bare breast in a wilderness of beard and whisker, with such dress as he wore seeming to be made out of the mud that begrimed his boat, still there was business-like usage in his steady gaze.”
Occupation: Water man
Artful Nugget: Gaffer is a minor character, but hard to forget. His occupation is trolling the waters of the Thames River in search of drowning victims. He plucks them out of the water, takes any money or valuables, and then claims rewards from the police or family of the victim.
Why We Love Him:Despite his gruesome occupation, Gaffer is a hardworking honorable man – a difficult literary achievement and evidence of Dickens prowess as a novelist.
The Artful Dodger
Novel: Oliver Twist
Year: 1838
Description: “He was a snub-nosed, flat-browed, common-faced boy enough; and as dirty a juvenile as one would wish to see; but he had about him all the airs and manners of a man. He was short of his age: with rather bow-legs, and little, sharp, ugly eyes. His hat was stuck on the top of his head so lightly, that it threatened to fall off every moment–and would have done so, very often, if the wearer had not had a knack of every now and then giving his head a sudden twitch, which brought it back to its old place again. He wore a man’s coat, which reached nearly to his heels. He had turned the cuffs back, half-way up his arm, to get his hands out of the sleeves: apparently with the ultimated view of thrusting them into the pockets of his corduroy trousers; for there he kept them. He was, altogether, as roystering and swaggering a young gentleman as ever stood four feet six, or something less, in the bluchers.”
Occupation: Pickpocket
Artful Nugget: The Artful Dodger was a minor character in the Dickens’ novel, but has become so beloved – probably because of his name – that his role in movie and television adaptations is always amplified.
Why We Love Him: He’s a devious, but lovable son of a bitch.
Madam Therese Defarge
Novel: A Tale of Two Cities
Year: 1859
Description: “Madame Defarge, his wife, sat in the shop behind the counter as he came in. Madame Defarge was a stout woman of about his own age, with a watchful eye that seldom seemed to look at anything, a large hand heavily ringed, a steady face, strong features and great composure of manner. There was a character about Madame Defarge, from which one might have predicated that she did not often make mistakes against herself in any of the reckonings over which she presided. Madame Defarge being sensitive to cold, was wrapped in fur, and had a quantity of bright shawl twine about her, though not to the concealment of her large ear-rings. Her knitting was before her, but she had laid it down to pick her teeth with a toothpick.”
Occupation: Knitter and wife of a wine-shop owner
Artful Nugget: Madame Defarge knits the names of the dead into her quilt.
Why We Love Her: She is a quiet, but vengeful revolutionary who seeks justice for the death of her family.
What Stories Accomplish
Writer E.M. Forester, the author of the magnificent novel “A Passage to India,” once observed that fictional stories are so popular because they allow readers to discover the inner lives of others.
Characters in fiction, Forester noted:
“Are people whose secret lives are visible or might be visible: we are people whose secret lives are invisible. And that is why novels, even when they are about wicked people, can solace us; they suggest a more comprehensible and thus more manageable human race, they give us the illusion of perspicacity and of power.”
Even our closest friends and family are closed books to us. We can’t see their thoughts or fully understand their decisions or characters. But fictional characters are opened to us. We can read their minds and see what makes them tick.
In many ways, fictional character are more material than real people.
The First Ghost Rider
Not a good night for school masters from Connecticut.
Short Story: “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” by Washington Irving
“The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” (1820) has proven to have incredible staying power. It’s one of the oldest and best known short stories in American fiction. Its success can be traced to a simple question:
“What really happened to Ichabod Crane?”
This question lies at the heart of the story. There are two possibilities:
- The headless wraith of the Hessian solider attacked Crane during his ride home and spirited him off to the netherworld.
- Noted trickster, Brom Bones, disguised as the Horseman murdered his rival for the affections of Katrina Van Tassel.
There is, of course, no correct answer. In fact, every time a reader finishes “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” they can come to a different conclusion. That’s the beauty of the work. Irving masterfully presents a ghost story and a murder mystery.
The power of the story is in the set-up. Irving captures late 18th century New York State with stunning detail. It was a time when people lived closer to nature and the surroundings and landscape had more of an impact on their lives. He portrays a sleepy village filled with superstitions – ghost and goblins seeming to live in every swamp and dark wood.
But the greatest of these haunts is the Headless Horseman. Here is Irving’s description of the Horseman:
“On mounting a rising ground, which brought the figure of his fellow-traveler in relief against the sky, gigantic in height, and muffled in a cloak, Ichabod was horror-stricken on perceiving that he was headless! But his horror was still more increased on observing that the head, which should have rested on his shoulders, was carried before him on the pommel of the saddle.”
What is amazing about “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” is that it is a tale of horror. Today academics often deride the works of Stephen King and other horror writers as popular pulp – yet one of the greatest short stories in American letters is a ghost story (and a relatively tame one by today’s standards).
Yet like all good horror writers, Irving was capturing the anxiety of the age. Here we have an America battling against the modern age – as country villages (closed societies) found themselves forced to open up as more immigrants moved in. We have in “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” a tale about stranger anxiety.
Because if we read the story as a murder then the consummate insider, Brom Bones, murders his outsider rival (and probably buries him in a shallow grave in the woods). Yet the villagers do nothing.
They are content to think that Crane was done away with by the Horseman – even as we’re told at the end of the story that Bones “was observed to look exceedingly knowing whenever the story of Ichabod was related… which led some to suspect that he knew more about the mater than he chose to tell.”
Why? Because Ichabod isn’t one of them. He’s an interloper (and a priggish one at that) from Connecticut.
The writing style used by Irving set the tone for the modern short story, especially his narrative style. He uses an off-stage narrator who found the story outlined in the papers of a decreased associate. It’s a complicated narrative device and it’s pulled off expertly.
As Halloween approaches it is a good time for reading stories of the supernatural and if you’ve never read “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” – you really should. It’s a like a fine glass of red wine – getting better – and bloodier – with age.
Income Inequality & the Pursuit of Poverty
Book Review: “The Spirit Level: Why Greater Equality Makes Societies Stronger” by Richard Wilkinson and Kate Pickett
The headline trumpeting from USA Today this morning is chilling:
“Poverty at 15.1%, Highest since ’93: 10-year income drop USA’s 1st in 5 decades.”
The average American is poorer today than he was 10 years ago. Nearly 1 in 6 Americans live in poverty with a staggering 2.6 million people slipping below the poverty level in the last decade. As a result, the United States now has the most people living in poverty – 46.2 million – since 1959.
This plunge in income comes with consequences:
- Americans without health care insurance now stands at 16.3% – up from 13.1% in 2000.
- Older Americans were the only group that improved during the decade. Those 65 and older saw income rise 7.5% – mainly because they were aided by Social Security benefits.
- Forty-eight million Americans between the ages of 18 and 65 were unemployed last year.
It would be easy to blame these unfortunate statistics on the Economic Recession of 2008. But that’s not the root cause of the problem. A provocative book published in 2009 called “The Spirit Level: Why Greater Equality Makes Societies Stronger” makes a strong argument that income inequality is at the center of the U.S. decline.
With concise detail “The Spirit Level” makes the case that the greater the income gap in rich countries – the larger the societal ills. The book focused on 11 different health and social problems: physical health, mental health, drug abuse, education, imprisonment, obesity, social mobility, trust and community life, violence, teenage pregnancies, and child well-being.
All 11 problems are much worse in unequal societies like the United States and Great Britain, but significantly better in countries that are more equal like Japan, Sweden and Denmark.
One of the most interesting findings of the book is that the societal ills caused by income inequality don’t just effect the poor in the unequal countries, but the wealthy as well. For example, obesity in the U.S. is a problem that stems from income inequality, but infects everyone – rich and poor.
The United States is, by far, the most unequal developed country in the world, according to the book. With the wealthiest 10 percent owning two-thirds of the net worth of the U.S., it is getting difficult to argue that U.S. hasn’t become an unequal society and that changes should be made to level the playing field and distribute wealth more equally.
Yet there are still calls for fewer taxes on the rich and on corporations (which had among the lowest taxes in history during the last 10 years – yet failed to create jobs or distribute wealth downward).
“The Spirit Level” is written for the layman and is an engrossing and empowering read. The book has been gaining more attention in recent months with the authors being featured on television news and on NPR.
As the topics of taxes, job creation, and income distribution take center stage during the upcoming election, “The Spirit Level” should be must-reading for any well-informed voter.
BUY THE SPIRIT LEVEL AT AMAZON.COM
Links:
Source for charts: Mother Jones
On Evolution: Woodrow Wilson vs. Republican Presidential Candidates
Understood science in 1922.
U.S. President Woodrow Wilson, in a letter to a friend, had this to say about evolution way back in 1922.
“Of course, like every other man of intelligence and education I do believe in organic evolution. It surprises me that at this late date such questions should be raised.”
Here is Texas Governor and Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry in 2010:
“I am a firm believer in intelligent design as a matter of faith and intellect, and I believe it should be presented in schools alongside the theories of evolution.”
One wonders how many theories of evolution Mr. Perry thinks there actually is.
Here is U.S. Congresswoman and Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann in 2011:
“I support intelligent design. What I support is putting all science on the table and then letting students decide. I don’t think it’s a good idea for government to come down on one side of scientific issue or another, when there is reasonable doubt on both sides.”
Apparently, Bachmann thinks intelligent design is science and not a what it really is: a proposition based on Biblical stories. She also believes that governments should remain neutral about scientific facts despite having departments like NASA and the National Institutes of Health.
Here is U.S. Congressman and medical doctor Ron Paul on evolution in 2011:
“I think it’s a theory. The theory of evolution and I don’t accept it as a theory.”
One wonders how Paul managed not to fail his course in organic biology at medical school without understanding the scientific basis for biological life.
Were we smarter in 1922?
Chomsky & 9/11 Remembered
AP Photographer Richard Drew's famous "Falling Man" photograph.
In 2001, less than a month after the 9/11 attacks, Noam Chomsky, the philosopher and astute critic of modern society, had this to say:
“Insofar as we have information, the U.S. government is now trying to exploit the opportunity to ram through its own agenda: militarization, including ‘missile defense,’ code words for the militarization of space; undermining social democratic programs, also undermining concerns over the harsh effects of corporate ‘globalization,’ or environmental issues, or health insurance, and so on; instituting measures that will intensify the transfer of wealth to the very few (for example, eliminating corporate taxes), and regimenting the society, so as to eliminate public debate and protest.”
Mission accomplished. And talk about prescient.
These words were written in a slim volume called simply “9/11″ on November, 2001. The book went on to become an instant bestseller and one of the most influential books on the terrorist attacks. Chomsky’s groundbreaking book has now been reissued for the 10th anniversary of the attacks under a new title “9/11: Was There an Alternative.” The book includes a new essay written after the assassination of Osama bin Laden.
With the predictable crush of mass media coverage expected for the 9/11 anniversary – much of it exploitative and one-sided – this is the one book that provides a refreshing, yet unyielding perspective on 9/11. Chomsky dismisses the fabricated half-truths for the alleged reasons for the attacks “they hate us because we’re free” or “they hate democracy and our way of life” and cuts to the most likely reason: Decades of U.S. foreign policy supporting repressive and violent regimes in the Middle East.
Chomsky makes his arguments without diminishing the savageness or barbarity of the attacks. He also does so by honoring and respecting those killed on 9/11.
The book is a fast and furious read. Chomsky, the bane of the conservative class, has a talent for cutting to the heart of the matter and calling out hypocrisy, especially when the hypocrisy is blatant and egregious.
For example:
- When the U.S. demanded that the Taliban hand over bin Laden, the government of Afghanistan did not refuse as many people seem to remember. The Taliban asked for the U.S. to provide evidence of bin Laden’s crime before doing so – in accordance with international law. The U.S. government, however, refused to do so, which lead to the invasion. In fact, the U.S. has yet to produced any evidence of bin Laden’s involvement in the attacks.
- The only country to ever have been condemned by the World Court for “international terrorism” is the United States for our atrocities in Nicaragua in the 1980s (which included supporting the bombings of churches, markets and civilian targets). The World court found the U.S. guilty of “unlawful use of force” and in violation of international treaties. The U.S. dismissed the proceedings and escalated the attacks. Nicaragua then turned to the United Nations for help, which passed a resolution calling for nations to “observe international laws.” The U.S. vetoed the resolution.
- The Taliban and Al-Queda were heavily supported and funded by the CIA during Russia’s war in Afghanistan. The U.S. and its allies (namely Great Britain) pumped millions of dollars to the holy warriors and exported modern weaponry into the country to help the rebels combat the invading Russian army.
As you can see, Chomsky cuts to the bone and reading “9/11: Was There an Alternative” can be difficult – and emotional. While many on the right (and even in the center) are often tempted to marginalize Chomsky, his deep knowledge of U.S. foreign policy and his acute understanding of the nature of governments and human beings makes it impossible to do so.
He’s just too smart and his arguments too compelling.
A Random Collection of Shakespeare’s Best Insults
'Tis a sacrilege.
“Thou art as fat as butter.”
- From “Henry IV, Part I”
“Thou art like the toad, ugly and venomous.”
- From “As You Like It”
“I never knew so young a body with so old a head.”
- From “The Merchant of Venice”
“Thou appearth nothing to be but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.”
- From “Hamlet”
“Away, you bottle-ale rascal, you filthy bung, away!”
- From “Henry IV, Part II”
“Your bum is the greatest thing about you.”
- From “Measure for Measure”
“You starveling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s pizzle, you stock-fish—O for breath to utter what is like thee! You tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!”
- From “Henry IV, Part I”
“Our of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes.”
- From “Richard III”
“Your virginity breeds mites, much like cheese.”
- From “All’s Well That Ends Well”
“Thou elvish-mark’d, abortive, rooting hog!”
- From “Richard III”
“So, so, thou common dog, didst thou disgorge thy glutton bosom.”
- From “Henry IV, Part II”
“Thou art a disease that must be cut away.”
- From “Coriolanus”
“What, you egg! Young fry of treachery!”
- From “Macbeth”
“Thou art a dull and muddy-mettled rascal.”
- From “Hamlet”
“Thou sanguine coward, thou bed-presser, thou horseback-breaker, thou huge hill of flesh!”
- From “Henry IV, Part I”
“Thy sin’s not accidental, but a trade.”
- From “Measure for Measure”
“Thou small grey coated gnat.”
- From “Romeo and Juliet”
“If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.”
- From “The Two Gentlemen of Verona”
“You are a fishmonger!”
- From “Hamlet”
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