A lot of people are up in arms (and rightly so) about Amazon encouraging consumers to browse brick and mortar shops to find books, gifts or whatever, but then to actually buy the stuff from Amazon instead. In tough times when so many indy retailers are barely making ends meet, this seems like a particularly brutal fuck you. I know money is tight for everyone, but the holidays are supposed to be about generosity and giving back to the community, right?

I'm not going to hold it against anyone that prefers to shop through Amazon. I love using Amazon to buy e-books for my Kindle and to pick up various other small inexpensive items throughout the year. I'll be using Amazon to e-publish my hardboiled lesbian PI novel BUTCH FATALE, DYKE DICK early next year and I hope you guys will all buy three copies. I'm the last person on earth to be boycotting Amazon. Which I'm not. I'm just saying that Amazon isn't gonna go hungry this holiday season if you spend your money elsewhere. The same can't be said for your local indy bookseller.

So, in the spirit of whatever holiday you choose to celebrate, I propose a little switcheroo. Check out the items on my Amazon wish list (many of which are linked from indy retailers anyway) write down the titles and then go buy them in a real store. Or order them online from a real store, owned by a real person, like Murder By the Book, for example.

Then you can snail mail your holiday purchases, fan letters, chocolates, shoes, severed ears or whatever to my brand spanking new mailbox out here in the burbs:

11144 Balboa Blvd. #104
Granada Hills CA 91344

Also, as always, you can send me copies of my own books to be signed and/or personalized. Just be sure to include a self-addressed stamped envelope with sufficient postage for the weight of the book(s.)

Don't get me wrong, I'm totally against women paying to chop off their labia, and have ranted extensively on the topic, all across the web. These March for Muffs protesters clearly have their hearts in the right place, but I have to disagree with their claim that the upswing in vaginal cosmetic surgery is due to "the pornification of culture."

The adult film industry is flawed and full of contradictions, but it cannot be accused of forcing women to cut off their labia. Case in point: Alexis Texas (VERY NSFW!) She is one of the most popular porn stars working today, and she also has an "outie." Meaning long, protruding labia, which she is deliberately exaggerating in the above linked photo.

Many women make their argument using magazines like Playboy as proof that men are being trained by porn to prefer small labia. But A) the photos in that particular magazine have been photoshopped to remove any visible naughty bits and B) the average guy is not spanking it to Playboy anyway. He's watching Alexis Texas stretch open her big fat labia on the internet.

I support the March for Muffs in spirit and agree that women need to stand up say "fuck no" to the mutilation of our bodies for profit. But porn is not the villain here. Porn has absolutely nothing to gain by women "tightening" their vaginas because you can't tell how tight a woman is on camera. When you're looking to solve a crime, look for motive. Who stands to profit? The real villains are the guys selling this kind of plastic surgery. The same guys selling us liposuction and facelifts and feeding off our insecurity and body shame. Because, sadly, women are often our own worst enemies.

So let your freak flaps fly! Be proud of your pussy, no matter what size, shape or color. And anyone who doesn't like it doesn't deserve it. Period.

 

I'm taking off into to the wild blue yonder, leaving for Texas at the crack of dawn tomorrow morning. I'll be doing two signings, one in Austin and one in Houston. Here's the schedule:

Thursday November 3rd at 7pm I'll be signing at BOOK PEOPLE - 603 N. Lamar, Austin TX 78703 (512) 472-5050

Friday November 4th at 6:30pm, I'll be at MURDER BY THE BOOK with the always awesome Duane Swierczynski - 2342 Bissonnet Street Houston, TX 77098 (713) 524-8597

See y'all there.

I'll be participating in Subterranean SF's Litanies of Noir with Sara Gran and Donna Lethal, this Thursday October 13th at 8pm. It's an unusual event in that it will take place in an undisclosed location. To get your free tickets and find out the location, you must follow these instructions:

Invitations become available on Monday, October 10, 2011. Invitations may be picked up in-person at the front counter of City Lights Bookstore, 261 Columbus Avenue, San Francisco, CA. Ask for the black envelope at the front counter. It will contain a map and navigation instructions. Seating is limited and by invitation only, on a first come, first serve basis. No reservations shall be accepted. Call City Lights to determine ticket availability (tel. 415-362-8193 x24) 21+ and over, please.

See you there!

... this time, it's personal!

From organizer Eric Beetner:

"Our second Noir at the Bar gathering is here! Our featured reader is none other than L.A.'s own femme fatale Christa Faust. We will be celebrating the release of her latest Hard Case Crime novel Choke Hold. Come join us for a night with the City of Angels' best crime writers. No cover. Free stories. Good friends."
Also reading will be:

Matt Funk
Jimmy Callaway
Pamila Payne
and more to be announced.

Sunday 9 October 2011, 8:00pm - 11:00pm @ Mandrake 2692 S La Cienega Blvd Los Angeles, CA 90034 (between Venice Blvd and Washington Blvd)

Angel City Faustketeers, it's time for the big home game. So come on over and show support for your local indy bookstore. And me too.

This Saturday, October 1st at 5pm I'll be reading and signing my new Angel Dare novel CHOKE HOLD at:

SKYLIGHT BOOKS
1818 N. Vermont Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90027
Tel: (323) 660-1175

See you there!

The panel line-up for B-con 2011 has been posted. Here’s what I’ll be up to:

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 15

8:30 A.M. – 9:30 A.M.

WOMAN TROUBLE-Landmark 1,2,3

Crime fiction is rife with ‘bad girl’ characters.

Russel McLean (M), Lori G. Armstrong, Judy Clemens, Christa Faust, Lauren Henderson, Karen Olson

9:00 P.M. – 10:00 P.M.

BAD SEED-Majestic A,B,C

Sex, Violence, and Everything That Makes A Book Great

Craig Montgomery (M), Christa Faust, Chris Holm, Craig Johnson, Scott Phillips, John Rector, Benjamin Whitmer, Jonathan Woods

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 16

10:00 A.M. – 11:00 A.M.

SHAKE AND FINGER POP-Landmark 4

Fight sports in crime fiction

Eric Beetner(M), Frank Bill, Christa Faust, Jamie Freveletti, Tom Schreck

The full schedule is available here.

See you in Saint Louis!

A reviewer recently accused me of creating a “Mary Sue” character in my Supernatural tie-in COYOTE’S KISS. For those who don’t know what that means, a “Mary Sue” is a too-perfect wish-fulfillment character that represents the author’s own idealized persona.

While I freely admit that the character in question is a wish-fulfillment character, it’s a completely different kind of wish. I created that character not because I’d like to be her, but because I’d like to fuck her. After all, we tie-in writers have to do something to spice up the daily grind. I threw in a hot Latina with a big ass. Reason #739 why I love my job.

So, allow me to propose some new terminology. I give you, the “Jenna Sue.” Named after legendary porn star Jenna Jameson, of course. Maybe the male equivalent should be called the “Lexington Sue.” (For Lexington Steele.) Or maybe they should just be called “CILFs.” Characters I’d Like to Fuck.

Authors, have you ever deliberately created a Jenna Sue in any of your fiction? Readers, ever found yourself crushing out on a fictional character? If so, which ones?

PS – if I’m in trouble now for creating one character I’d like to fuck, I’m really gonna be in deep when my latest top-secret project hits the street…

 

Right, Harrogate.

First, the town. We arrived by train on Thursday afternoon, and walked from the station to the hotel. It’s a cute little town. So cute, in fact that there were times when I felt like I was on a movie set or in a theme park. I certainly felt like I was visiting another planet when I went to Betty’s for a Yorkshire Cream Tea.

Of course, I had coffee with my Fat Rascals. Because I’m American, godammit!

Funny thing about genre conventions, they’re kinda like a traveling carnival. No matter where you set up the tent, it’s always the same freaks inside. So it was great to see many of my friends from Bouchercon, like Donna Moore, Russel McLean, Mark Billingham, Ali Karim, Ayo Onatade and Val McDermid. I even ran into fellow American CJ Box. Of course I met a lot of new friends too.

First and foremost among them is the ferociously talented Cathi Unsworth. I don’t even know how to begin to describe how smart and funny and fucking brilliant she is without sounding like a gushing fangirl. But seriously kids, you NEED to be reading her books. It’s that simple.

But why the hell didn’t I (or anyone else around me, apparently) get a photo of the two of us together?!? We were like an op-art installation, dressed all in black and white, her with her platinum hair with the black streak and me with my dark hair with the platinum streak. Missed the bus on that one, big time.

She and I did the Saturday readers group together, an event hosted by Martyn. Basically a bunch of people read her BAD PENNY BLUES and my MONEY SHOT and then got together to discuss them.

The discussion started off with a bang when an older lady came up to me before we even got in the door to tell me how much she hated my book. She thought it was “a bad Chandler rip-off” (Madam, I’ll have you know that I ripped off SPILLANE, not Chandler!) and that she couldn’t believe “a pretty girl like me could write something so dreadful.” (Funny, I said the same thing about Tania Carver…)

I guess I have a very thick skin, or maybe I’m just an egomaniac, but I’ve never been seriously bothered by negative reviews or comments. In this case, saying I’m ripping off Chandler is like saying I’m too tall, or too shy. As for the “pretty girls shouldn’t write nasty stuff” argument, it’s not worth the oxygen it would require to respond to that one. The bottom line is that you don’t have to like my book. It ain’t for everyone, and I’m okay with that.

Other than the one adamant thumbs down, the readers group went really well and the bookstore sold out of all but one copy of my book. I must be doing something right...

More Harrogate adventures still to come…

If you’re gonna be in or around New York City on the evening of Wednesday, September 21, join publisher Charles Ardai, Lawrence Block and me, your not-so-humble narrator at the Mysterious Bookshop to kick off the relaunch of Hard Case Crime. Block will be signing his sexy and controversial GETTING OFF and I’ll be signing my new Angel Dare book CHOKE HOLD. Exact time (6 or 7pm) and the possible inclusion of other HCC authors to be announced, so stay tuned to this blog for details.