Whatever

Talking Points Memo notes that Newt Gingrich’s poll numbers peaked a few days ago and now seem on a decline of the sort one sees on rollercoasters or cliffs. I’d personally like to think it was because Gingrich blathered stupidly about how he’d arrest  federal judges whose rulings he didn’t like; there is a word for the sort of leader who responds to the Constitutionally-approved concept of the independent judicial branch by threatening its members with arrest, and it’s not “president.”

But that’s only a specific case of a more general issue with Gingrich, which I imagine the GOP electorate is now remembering about him: Gingrich, bless his heart, can only give a stab at being a statesman in brief, isolated bursts. Then his Gingrichosity shines through, he decouples prudence from his pie hole, and he starts doing the 68-year-old poltiwonk version of a college freshman midnight bull session, only in public and in front of cameras, and without someone there to say “whoa, duuuude, you’re getting pretty out there” before passing over the bong to mellow him out. He just can’t shut up.

It’s not just that he can’t shut up. It’s that Gingrich is also apparently incapable of distinguishing which of his ideas are reasonable, and which ones have been beamed in straight from a transmitter located on a high mountain deep in the heart of FrothyLand. It’s not that Gingrich doesn’t have some good ideas in his head. He does. The problem is they share space with some absolutely terrifying ideas. When Gingrich prepares to hork an idea out of his mouth, he doesn’t roll it around first to see if it tastes bad. He just spits it out, and there it is, on the carpet, Gingrich looking at you in that way he has, the way that says yet another brilliant thought from the mind of Newt. You’re welcome. And then the idea rears up, hisses at you, and tries to mate, horribly, with your shoe.

This is why, should Gingrich buck the current trend and gain the GOP nomination, the absolute worst thing he could do is have a Lincoln-Douglas-style debate with President Obama. Seriously: an hour to ninety minutes of raw, unscripted, uninterrupted Gingrich? There is no limit to the size of the hole that man will dig for himself, all the while thinking how dazzling he’s being. And there’s Obama, grinning his ass off, letting Gingrich dig, waiting for his turn. If we know anything about Obama, it’s that he knows how to stay focused and on message. He’d do just fine in a long form debate; you might not like the policies he espouses but you can bet he’d promulgate them in a safe and sane-sounding way, which, to anyone not already in the Gingrich camp, and with the fortitude to withstand an entire three-hour debate, would be all he would need. Obama might bore you, but he wouldn’t scare you.

Dear Newt: Obama would love to do a Lincoln-Douglas debate with you. He would love it more than candy. But it looks like he won’t get that chance.

Mind you, Gingrich’s essential Gingrichosity is not the only reason he’s trending down at the moment. The scads of negative ads his opponents are targeting at him are doing their fair share as well, and as I understand it Gingrich’s campaign is cash-poor enough that responding to those ads has not been something he’s been about to afford much of (he did just make an ad buy in Iowa, but it’s small compared to the ad buys of Romney and Perry). Even so, I don’t think Gingrich being Gingrich helps him any.

He can draw this out a while (and make no mistake that the Democrats would love for him to do that, as long as humanly possible) but at the end of the day the reason I suspect we’ve hit and passed the Peak Gingrich moment is because ultimately Gingrich reminds people of someone who is an unpleasant showoff. The person he’s reminding them of is possibly him.

This is going to be a little meta.

Yesterday afternoon I asked for feedback from Whatever readers regarding the site and what they liked and didn’t like and what suggestions they might have going forward. I got 150-some responses since then, which is a very nice, so thanks all of you for that. While I am still soliciting that feedback (if you want to give it), here are some thoughts on what I’ve received so far, plus some thoughts on 2012 content.

1. What people like/dislike/want to see more of is all across the board, which tells me something I already knew, which is that people who come here to read do so for a variety of different reasons — some like the pieces about writing more than other stuff, some like the political screeds, some like the pictures of cats and sunsets, and so on. This is fine, of course; I write the site in something of a “variety show” format, since that’s how my brain works and what goes up here is what’s in my brain whenever I sit down to write here. As noted earlier, I don’t see that changing much in the next year (or, well, ever).

2. That said, one thing you are likely to see more of in 2012 are politically-oriented posts. It’s a presidential election year here in the US, and I have a suspicion it’s going to be a particularly nasty election year, and I also suspect a fair share of my brain is going to be occupied with it. So there’s a good chance a lot of that will end up here.

I’ll probably have a more detailed post about this later, but for now I’ll just say that most of you by now have a reasonably good idea of what my political biases are, and that will of course inform what I post here politically. As for what this means, I will refer you to my site disclaimer, particular the sentence which reads “I make no claims as toward being even-handed, fair, or nice.” I think generally I call out political stupidity when I see it; however, I don’t believe that, currently, stupidity is evenly distributed across the political spectrum.

3. Regarding Big Idea posts, I don’t think you’re going to see much change either in format or frequency; I generally post a couple a week and it seems to be a good amount in terms of my goals for the feature, and for my ability to keep up with it. Some of you will remember I planned to spin off the Big Idea to its own site; that got shelved primarily because I and and the other two principals involved simply ended up getting too busy with other things. Fortunately it works perfectly well as a feature here.

4. Regarding the “New Books” feature, which were originally posts and then were added to the sidebar: It’s definitely coming back in 2012. I just got bogged down in real world stuff and didn’t update, and didn’t want it growing stale during the holidays. You can expect service to resume when the calendar turns.

5. One commenter wondered if my being the SFWA president had an effect on what I wrote here regarding current publishing debates, issues and events. The answer to this is, yes, a bit. Although I have been careful to deliniate between John Scalzi, private individual and John Scalzi, SFWA president (especially on this site), the two still reside in the same body and overlap, and what I say as a private individual is still noted by SFWA members, who may reasonably then wonder how it affects my thinking as SFWA president, and thereby, SFWA’s policy and organizational stances. This makes me (slightly) more circumspect about blathering on  certain subjects here than I might otherwise be, especially if I find it on point to something that’s in SFWA’s wheelhouse. It’s a combination of the nature of the position, and my own decision that I owe SFWA and its membership the courtesy of placing their priorities over my own desire to blather in public.

My reign of terror tenure as SFWA president comes to an end on July 1, 2012, at which point, of course, full unfettered blatheration will again be the order of the day. And I’m sure until then I will still have things to say on writing and publishing, as I usually do. “Circumspection” does not mean “completely silent.”

6. On the subject of site design and tweaking: As I’ve noted before, I am a bit limited in what I can do because of WordPress.com, but I think I should be clear and note that the largest vector of limitation is my own competence, not WordPress.com’s flexibility. For WordPress VIP accounts, true template tinkering requires me to upload changes via Subversion plus other technical stuff which strains my own personal limits of technical knowledge (most VIP-level accounts have dedicated Web dudes and dudettes; I have just me). So for now I use some standard WP templates and a little light CSS coding that can be accomplished without heavy lifting or resorting to Subversion.

One of the things I am considering for 2012 (or further out) is a top-to-bottom redesign of the site that makes it functional exactly the way I want it to be functional. But that will take both time and money and in both cases I will need to be able to justify the expenditure, especially since Whatever is essentially a glorified hobby. So in the meantime I’ll do the tweaks I can, but understand that my true talent lies in writing, not Web design.

7. On commenters: Many of you have praised me for comment moderation (thank you), but also see some people in the threads you consider trolls, or (more charitably) overly obnoxious and not adding to the conversation. The solution in those cases is simple: Ignore them. There will always be people who will skate right up to what I consider the general Minimum Level of Comportment, possibly because they’re socially clueless or because they’re assholes and that’s just what they do. In either case, when you see their name on a comment, just bloop over whatever that person has to say and continue on. I have to read every comment here, but you don’t, and you certainly don’t have to respond to them, especially when your response boils down to “wow, you’re just a perfect asshole, aren’t you?” Because that doesn’t make you look particularly good, does it. So: Ignore them. It’s not that hard to do, especially when most other people here are offering comments of substance.

As to why I tolerate the occasional commenter of cretinous comportment, well, the short answer is probably because it amuses me to do so, and because over the breadth of their entire engagement on the site I have not found every comment to be cretinous. I’ll mallet them when I think they’ve gotten out of line. And lest you think I am discussing a single person, I’ll note there is an actual list of people for whom the Mallet of Loving Correction is in a state of permanent readiness. Tolerance requires vigilance. Vigilance, I say!

8. There will continue to be cat and sunset pictures, never fear. Because I know how you are.

9. Some people wondered why I bother posting those “I’m not here” posts I do. The answer is because if I don’t by the end of the day I get e-mails/private tweets/social media messages from people concerned that something horrible has happened here at the Scalzi Compound. This is in fact one of the drawbacks of writing more or less daily; if you don’t, some folks will assume the worst. So it’s easier just to say “I’m not here today.” Yes, this is more than a little silly. But, eh.

10. My OCD requires ten items on this list.

Oh wait, I did have something here:

Tagging posts: I do in fact leave most posts untagged and the reason is because a) I am lazy, b) relating to the aforementioned OCD, if I start tagging every post from now on, I will feel a compulsion to go through and tag every single post here to date, which is more than six thousand. Which is a lot. It’s not to say I won’t do it, but if I do, again, it’ll take planning, and money, since I would probably hire someone to do it, that poor bastard, rather than do it myself.

There, done.

Now you know.

This is me on the balcony of the offices of the Chicago Maroon in the Ida Noyes building at the University of Chicago in the summer of 1989. In the summer the newspaper did one weekly edition, so as editor-in-chief I had to stick around for it. The plant, incidentally, belonged to my girlfriend. She left it with me for the summer and I took a picture of it to prove I hadn’t killed it yet. The picture was taken by James Warden, who is now at it professionally. Go check out his site.

Today I’m having what would best be called an “in-service” day here at Whatever, which is to say I’m thinking a little bit about things I want to do with the site in the upcoming year. In an overall sense the “whatever” ethos — i.e., writing about whatever I want to write about because that’s what I feel like writing about at that moment — will still be the general rule. At the same time, a little planning and forethought wouldn’t be bad either. The site’s had its best year ever in terms of readers (as far as I can tell) and I’d like to keep it trending upward. Also, as a general thing, I’m curious about how people see the site and how they read/use/enjoy it on a day-to-day basis.

So, my dear readers: Tell me, if you would, the things that you’ve enjoyed about Whatever in the last year, what things you’ve not enjoyed, and what you wouldn’t mind seeing more (or less) of in 2012 (That’s you, mind you, don’t focus on what you think others would like/not like. Let them speak for themselves, please). If you have praise, swell. If you have complaints, don’t feel you have to sugarcoat it (although, you know. Don’t be any meaner than you have to). Basically, let me know what you’re thinking about Whatever.

Thanks.

This post I just found in an archive of the alt.society.generation-x newsgroup, dated July 21, 1997:

Just got finished writing my very first novel

Thought y’all might like to know. I’m happy, pleased, tired.

96,098 words, cranked out in a little under three months, working
mostly on weekends, grinding out 5,000 words at a sitting.

Learned two things:

a) I *can* carry a story over such a long stretch;

b) like most things on the planet, thinking about doing it is a lot
worse than simply sitting down and doing it. The writing wasn’t hard
to do, you just need to plant ass in seat and go from there.

I did find it helped not to make my first novel a gut-wrenching
personal story, if you know what I mean. Instead I just tried to write
the sort of science fiction story I would like to read. It was fun.

Now I go in to tinker and fine tune. Will soon have it ready for beta
testing. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
————-
John M. Scalzi II
Writer/Editor, America Online
http://members.aol.com/jscalzi
“THIS isn’t John Scalzi! John Scalzi is a dashing bon vivant! Where is the John Scalzi
of our youth, the John Scalzi of television, film and those Choose-Your-Own-Adventure
novels?!?”

– A slightly drunk co-worker

Which novel? This one. I remember writing it in my apartment in Sterling, on Microsoft Works. Takes me back, it does.

Incidentally, don’t try looking for the personal site noted in my signature. It’s not there anymore. Hasn’t been for some time now. I like the signature quote, though. I wish I could remember who specifically said it.

Also: alt.society.generation-x. Good times, man. Good times.

If I’m extra good at them, maybe Santa will leave an extra gift!

See you all tomorrow.

It is this:

We’re currently at $2,000. Which, you know, is fantastic. But there’s absolutely no reason that it couldn’t go higher. Especially when you’re bidding to create a sum that will go to give toys and games to small children in hospitals. Here’s all the details about the auction and how to bid.

Because I want you to be able to plan ahead!

Redshirts hardcover: June 5, 2012

Fuzzy Nation mass market paperback: March 27, 2012

Also, 24 Frames Into the Future: Scalzi on Science Fiction Film will be available in February, although I don’t have the specific dates on that yet. It’ll definitely be available at Boskone 49, however, where I am scheduled as the Guest of Honor.

There, now you’re on top of it all.

There seem to be a couple of glitches here and there when I call up the site (others have noticed it as well). Since the blog is hosted by WordPress, I suspect it’s something on their end. If I had to guess I would bet it had something to do with WP version 3.3. being distributed today, but that’s just me guessing. In any event, the glitches seem to be pretty short-lived, so if you have a problem with the site today, wait a second or two and hit “reload.” That’s been working for me so far.

Please note the reaction to yesterday’s Penny Arcade guest strip in the PA forum area. The commenters there are not falling over themselves with applause, shall we say.

My thoughts? I’m fine with it, of course. I am the fellow who encourages writers to embrace their one-star reviews, and accept the idea that one’s work will never be universally loved, remember. The fact the strip was not universally loved is not exactly tripping me up. C’est la vie. It’s part of the gig. If you’re not ready to accept that this sort of thing will happen — especially when trying something new, in front of a different crowd than you usually have — then this probably isn’t the best line of work for you. As I’ve mentioned here before, you just put on your Big Writer pants and deal with it.

Personally, I had a blast with the strip — it was cool to get the invite, good to work with Jeff on it, and I wrote a strip I would find amusing as a reader. Would I do it again? Hell, yeah. I had fun.

Since we’ve lived here in Ohio for coming on eleven years now, we decided it was finally time to let go of our house in Sterling, Virginia, where we lived when Athena was born. So, if you or someone you know is in the market for a home in the Washington, DC area, here’s a fabulous five bedroom house in a nice neighborhood in a great town, just waiting for you. Seriously, we loved living in this house, and we think it’ll be a great house for others.

Here’s the official listing; once you’re there, click on the “ML#” link and it’ll expand out the listing to give you all the details as well as a couple dozen pictures of the place. The realtor’s information is there at the link, so if you really are interested, contact her and let her know (you don’t need to contact me; we have a real estate agent for a reason).

Damn, now I’m a little choked up. I liked this house. Hopefully it’ll make its new owners equally happy.

Over at FilmCritic.com this week, I follow on to the discussion here earlier this week on the subject of “Flying Snowmen,” and ask how the phenomenon extends to science fiction films in particular. That’s right! I’m recycling an idea I had here! And getting paid for it! God bless America, man. Aaaaaanyway, go over there and see what more I have to say on the subject, and feel free to leave your comments there. They love it when you do that. Seriously, it makes their day. I asked them. They told me. There you are.

(If you missed the earlier discussion and want to see it first, here you go.)

As I noted in the previous entry, today I (with artist Jeff Zugale) contributed a guest panel to the estimable Penny Arcade Web comic. The guys at Penny Arcade also run a charity called Child’s Play, which donates toy and games to children who endure hospital stays for treatment of their illnesses. I think this is a fantastic charity and I personally support it every year. As a way of showing our appreciation to the Penny Arcade folks for giving us a guest spot, Jeff and I are now auctioning off the original artwork for the guest strip (pictured above) with all the proceeds of the auction to go to Child’s Play.

This is literally a one-of-a-kind piece of work, as it is the original inked art which was scanned in for the strip, on Strathmore board, signed and dated by me and by Jeff Zugale. Jeff knows the exact dimensions, but given the standard Strathmore board dimensions, I suspect it’s 22 inches by 15 inches, tells me that the dimensions are 17 inches by 11 inches, which makes it nicely suitable for framing. Here’s a much larger picture of the original, so you can examine it in detail.

Extra! If the bidding gets over $1,000, I will throw in some nifty extras to be determined later (but I promise they will be nifty and you will squee with delight, if you are the sort of person who indulges in the squeeing).

(Update, 12:03pm: The $1,000 level has been reached! This is where Jeff Zugale steps in to say “if the bids go over $2,000 I too will throw in nifty extras, starting with a cartoon sketch of the buyer (from a photo over the internet), maybe a print of the UPK painting… y’know, stuff like that.” Excellent.)

(Update, 9:10am, 12/16: The $2,000 level has been reached!)

And now: The details!

How will the auction work?
You must enter a verifiable e-mail address to bid.
1. Bid here on the site. Bidding begins at $25. Each new bid must increase the former bid by at least $5, in dollar amounts. If two bids are made at the same level, the first bid offered is the official bid. You may not increase your bid until someone else bids higher.
2. Until $1,000, bidding must be in increments of no more than $25 (this is to discourage trolls and fake bidders). From $1,000 to $5,000, bidding may be in increments of no more than $100. From $5,000 to $10,000, bidding may be in increments of $250. From $10,000 forward increments of $1,000 are acceptable.
3. However, if any point I am contacted privately by a bidder who wishes to jump the bidding to a significantly higher level (i.e., $250+ more than the current bid in the early stages, $1000+ more in later stages), if I am convinced it’s a serious bid, I’ll go into the thread and raise the bidding to that level. This is the only way to jump ahead. 
4. I reserve the right to disqualify any bids if I do not feel they are legitimate. If I do, I will pop into the thread, note the disqualification, ban the bidder if necessary and reset the bidding at what I believe was the last legitimate bid level. If it appears to me the bid thread is being swamped with fake bids I may halt all bidding while I figure out the way to deal with it. I reserve the right to cancel the auction entirely.
5. After the auction ends I will contact the winner via e-mail (this is why you need a verifiable address). You will need to respond to that e-mail within 24 hours or I will assume you were not a serious bidder and contact the next highest bidder. So please be looking for my e-mail!

How and when will you donate the money from the auction?
I won’t; you will. I will forward you the information you’ll need to make the donation to the Child’s Play charity. You will need to send the money within three business days or be disqualified. Send me a copy of the donation receipt and give me permission to verify the donation with Child’s Play. This way you’ll also get any applicable tax deductions.

How will the item(s) get to me?
We will ship it/them to you, worldwide, without charge. When we ship it we will provide you with the tracking number so you will know where it is and when it’s going to get to you.

Can I tell others about this auction?
I hope you will! Please, feel free to tell anyone you’d like.

If you have any questions, please let me know through e-mail (john@scalzi.com) — I want to keep the comment thread open for bids only.

The auction runs through Monday, December 19 at 5pm Eastern.

Good luck and happy bidding! I thank you, Child’s Play thanks you, and I’m sure the kids in the hospitals who will get the toys and games would thank you too.

And it’s full of nerdy parental goodness, if I do say so myself. The full strip is here. I figure most people who are nerds who spend any time online will get the punchline, but if you don’t, this link will give you context.

For those of you wondering if I drew the comic as well as having written it, allow me to say: AH HA HA HA HAH HA! No. The artist in this case is the estimable Jeff Zugale. Jeff, some of you may recall, has collaborated with me before: Here’s one thing he’s done for me; here’s another. I was delighted to be able to call on him for this. I’ll also note that if you enjoy Jeff’s web comic stylings, you’ll be able to see more of them soon; he’s got himself a ginchy new gig. Congratulations Jeff!

Some of you may ask: How did I get this guest gig at Penny Arcade? Well, I’ve known and been friends with Jerry and Mike for a while now; indeed, we go waaaay back, all the way back to the previous century in fact, when PA and Whatever were both starting out. Indeed, I believe I may have been one of their first advertisers, since I advertised the Web version of Agent to the Stars there, back in ’99. We’ve since occasionally done work with and for each other; Mike did the cover art for the Subterranean Press hardcover of Agent, and not too long ago I did the introduction for their book The Splendid Magic of Penny Arcade. So there’s a history there.

Nevertheless, it’s super mega ultra cool to be asked to do a guest strip for PA, and I hope they liked it as much as I enjoyed writing it and working with Jeff to make it. I hope you like it too.

Oh, and one other thing. Penny Arcade runs a fantastic charity called Child’s Play, which donates games and toys to children in hospitals. I’ve been a big supporter of this charity from the first year it started. As a way to saying thanks to Jerry and Mike for letting me do a guest spot, Jeff  and I will be auctioning off the signed print original of today’s strip, with the proceeds to go to Child’s Play. More details on that, coming soon.

(Update: Here are the details.)

You all know my thoughts on this year’s pack of GOP candidates, but then I’m a known pinko commie socialist and am deeply unlikely to be voting for any of them. So: Can you articulate for me your own honest feelings about this election cycle’s slate of candidates? I am genuinely interested.

So that the comment thread actually produces the results I am interested in, let me lay down some comment thread rules.

1. This comment thread is for people who are US potential primary voters who identify as Republican and/or conservative (libertarian is also fine, if you see your libertarianism more aligned with general Republican/conservative principles and/or intend to vote in the GOP primaries). If you’re not any of these things, don’t comment, please. Seriously. We have enough politics back and forth on other threads; this one is not about that.

To amplify this point I will also stay out of the thread except in my capacity as site moderator.

2. For the purposes of this thread, please take as given that you likely believe the policies and practices of the Obama administration to be varying levels of bad, so it’s not on point to go on about that. I’m interested on your take on the actual candidates running for the GOP nomination and your thoughts on their individual pluses and minuses as well as on the group as a whole.

3. If you are a Whatever regular but don’t generally discuss politics and/or don’t want (for whatever reason) to out yourself as a Republican/conservative, go ahead and use a different name when you comment. I don’t mind.

4. Commenting between the people in the thread (who have already identified themselves as Republicans/conservatives) is of course fine but in general I’m more interested in people’s individual opinions regarding the candidates/group than I am in people trying to argue to others in the thread for their favorite candidate. So if you’d keep campaigning to a minimum and focus on the actual question, I’d be appreciative.

5. If you’re coming here from elsewhere and you’re new here, and have never posted a comment before, it might be worth it to read the site comment policy.

Okay, then. Republican/conservative readers, please tell me your thoughts on the candidates!

The New York Times has a piece today by author Richard Russo about the recent Amazon stunt of encouraging people to go into bookstores, using their cell phones to read the prices of items for sale and then for their efforts receive up to $5 off things they buy at Amazon. Russo and the authors he talked to in his piece (which included Stephen King, Scott Turow and Ann Patchett) were generally not pleased with this antic, as you’ll see when you read the piece.

Nor am I, since it seems like an entirely unnecessary dick move. Yes, Amazon, you have lower prices. Point taken. But even in recessionary times such as these, not everything is about the absolute lowest price. I pay slightly higher prices for books at my local bookstore, but then I also help a local business, keep people in my community employed and make the place I live a nicer place to be. These are warm, fuzzy, altruistic things that are mockable if one lives by the creed that in business it’s not enough to win, everyone else must lose. But, you know, the hell with that. I can afford an extra couple of bucks on each book, and the return I get is worth it. Mind you, it’s not just a soft-hearted choice; it’s also a practical investment in the local economy and in a store where people can find my work.

This isn’t a reflexive hate-on for Amazon, incidentally. Amazon sells a lot of my books for me, including through their Kindle program, from which I’ve bought more than a few books myself (generally books I own but am too lazy to fish out of basement storage. Yeah, I know). I am appropriately grateful. Likewise, Amazon is, among other things, one of my publishers through its Audible Books division, and they have done an excellent job with the books I’ve done with them. I have an Amazon Prime account and I get lots of use from it, because where I live often the alternative to buying from Amazon is buying from Wal-Mart, and on that strata of retailing, I’m happy to let them go after each other, with knives and bludgeons. If there’s a locally-owned alternative, however, then I generally go there. I pay extra for what amount to intangibles for me, but what’s intangible to me means a job and a business to someone else. That matters, especially these days.

Jeff Bezos is doing fine, and lord knows he gets enough of my money. I like giving my book money to my local guys. I think they probably appreciate it more, right about now.

First, look upon the awesomeness that is the official Redshirts red shirt, replicating as it does the shirt on the cover of my upcoming novel. Yes, I stand proudly in the knowledge that this shirt is the best shirt that has ever existed in this or any other known universe. As if to make that point, second, look upon the John Scalzis from alternate timelines, intent on murdering me! Why? Because they know this shirt is so awesome that THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. One shirt to rule them all and in the darkness bind them! Thus the knife and bat.

Silly alternate universe John Scalzis! It’s too late for that! Because in this timeline, anyone can get an official Redshirts red shirt, because as we all know the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one, or the multiple ones in alternate universes. And how do you get an official Redshirts red shirt? You follow this link to the Tor.Com Redshirts Shopping Guide, which will tell you everything you need to know for the purchase. And while you’re at Tor.Com, you can check out other, various red shirts, and red shirt-related gifts and objects. But just remember, while those are all very nice, the official Redshirts red shirt is awesome. And can be yours.

You’ll have to handle your murderous alternate universe versions of yourself on your own, however. I suggest attack cats. It’s what worked for me.

Not too many of these left, this year. Best to enjoy them while we can.

Anti-gay politician donates sperm to New Zealand lesbians, neglects to tell his wife.

Seriously, I don’t even know where to begin with this one.

(Hat tip: Talking Points Memo)