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Sat November 26, 2011
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Canoe) Stupid Raw milk crusader fined $9,150. His wife isn't too happy about this, but I wouldn't put it pasteur to forgive him  (cnews.canoe.ca) (38)
(USA Today) Scary The swine flu is baaaaaaaaaaack. EVERYBODY PANIC  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (29)
(The Atlantic) Interesting America in crisis 1972-1974, a photo essay. (Bonus: It's not a slide show)  (theatlantic.com) (120)
(MSNBC) Dumbass You're manning a Pakistani outpost on the Afghan border, when you spot some NATO helo gunships. Do you c) fire warning shots at them?  (msnbc.msn.com) (102)
(AZCentral) Dumbass Hello. Well, it's just after eight o'clock, and time for my sweater penguins to explode  (azcentral.com) (48)
(UPI) Silly Yet another survey of office douchebaggery reveals lunch theft and sneezing into the boss' coffee. Douchebags  (upi.com) (56)
(UPI) Interesting Dyslexics may trouble have noise blocking  (upi.com) (37)
(Husband of 3) Interesting Gay marriage is legal. Marijuana is decriminalized. Health care is free. But apparently, polygamy is illegal. Well, no country is 100% perfect, right?  (vancouversun.com) (303)
(Huffington Post) Photoshop Photoshop this picture of John Boehner and Neil Armstrong  (i.huffpost.com) (26)
(New Zealand Herald) Cool University given an $800,000 grant to study the impact of porn on people's lives. Giggity  (nzherald.co.nz) (52)
(Huffington Post) Caturday Trauma & Joy: a Thanksgiving story complete with cats named Popeye and Cat. Here are some laughs, blessings and warm fuzziness, tailor-made for a Thanksgiving Caturday  (huffingtonpost.com) (391)
(The Ledger) Florida Verizon worker uses his job skills to listen in to his wife's phone call to another man, returns to home and tries to strangle her. Twice. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?  (theledger.com) (31)
(The Sun) Scary Stay away from the parking ticket machines, HE HATES THESE PARKING TICKET MACHINES  (thesun.co.uk) (32)
(Mediaite) Amusing Local TV newscast apparently not aware of the meaning of "Black Friday', goes with "Black Holiday Shoppers" instead. Close enough?  (mediaite.com) (39)
(Some Guy) Stupid Man with 17 DUIs who was caught driving on probation gets the eight years in jail that he was supposed to get. Just kidding, they let him go with a stern lecture. Possibly a raised eyebrow  (salemnews.com) (87)
(Some Guy) Interesting Police superintendent whose force ran radar speed trap is outraged after judge enforces Pennsylvania law banning local police from using radar  (delcotimes.com) (64)
(Reuters) Asinine If you liked starting your Black Friday at midnight, the retailers did too and plan on continuing it. Thanks, America  (reuters.com) (168)
(NJ.com) Strange U.S. Flag Code, updated: To avoid contact with the flag, it is permissible to grind your pelvis into the buttocks of nearby persons, using your hands to grasp their waist as needed  (nj.com) (49)


Fri November 25, 2011
(Simcoe.com) Cool That's one giant swing- over 300 parts, close to 5,000 screws, two cases of industrial glue, and it even has its own facebook page  (simcoe.com) (32)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Mayor of major American city tweets his support for marijuana legalization. Oh, wait. Did I say, 'American?' I meant to say 'Canadian'  (vancouversun.com) (69)
(ABC) Interesting Ex-N.Y. mafia boss found dead by river in Canada. Autopsy results are pending after removal of cement shoes  (abcnews.go.com) (37)
(Telegraph) Silly "Practising yoga is Satanic, it leads to evil just like reading Harry Potter"  (telegraph.co.uk) (180)
(Washington Post) Followup Before you go all "ZOMG HAX THE RUSSIANZ R COMING," check to make sure you don't have a plant employee logging in remotely while on a trip abroad  (washingtonpost.com) (30)
(Huffington Post) Sad Police depts aren't interested in solving violent crimes. There's no money to be made. But shaking down people on the street for a joint in their pocket brings dividends  (huffingtonpost.com) (107)
(MSN News) Dumbass Truckers: those long road trips can often be boring, so why not watch a little TV to help pass the time?  (news.ca.msn.com) (45)
(Houston Press) Amusing A roundup of some of the delightfully named people that have graced the Harris County (Houston) Texas crime rolls. Their torment is your gain  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (59)
(I Heart Chaos) Scary South Korea to start using robots as prison guards. Because as Hollywood has shown time and time again, this sort of thing never turns out badly  (iheartchaos.com) (38)
(Yahoo) Cool A 345-pound man in jail is freed nine days early thanks to a Lake County, Fla., judge's "lose-a-pound, gain-a-day" deal. Cool tag beats out Florida tag in this case  (news.yahoo.com) (43)
(Some Guy) Dumbass "You're an officer of the law and you're scared of a Jack Russell? Do you want that kind of person protecting you?"  (baynews9.com) (159)
(ABC 4) Florida News: Man rescued after being stuck in quicksand after eight hours. Not News: He was in Utah. Fark: His rescue beacon was answered by the Air Force - in Florida  (abc4.com) (29)
(Mother Nature Network) Fail The six most epic holiday parade balloon disasters. "Barney attacked us"  (mnn.com) (18)
(I Heart Chaos) Amusing In Serbia, a cop and a small-time robber stealing a baby from a local millionaire counts as biology  (iheartchaos.com) (11)
(Some Guy) Spiffy The gem that Rolling Stone missed: the 12 greatest keytarists in rock  (29-95.com) (54)
(CBS Pittsburgh) Stupid Women in Victoria Secret brawl results in hatred of the letters "wl"  (pittsburgh.cbslocal.com) (32)
(The Local (Sweden)) Dumbass 'Electro-oversensitive' man in mobile phone blackout threat. In related news 'Electro-oversensitive' is the new PC term for 'nutjob'  (thelocal.se) (39)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this pose with a panda   (latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com) (25)
(Guardian) Interesting "When I saw this list - and especially the last agenda item - the scales fell from my eyes. Of course these unarmed people would be having the shiat kicked out of them." Syria? Egypt? Guess again  (guardian.co.uk) (789)
(Yahoo) Scary The top five undefeated eating challenges in America  (shine.yahoo.com) (31)
(Some Guy) Amusing Wild Turkey ruins another family holiday  (wtae.com) (7)
(UPI) PSA Researchers warn shoppers to beware most germ-infested parts of mall, advise against licking the following: food court tables, ATM keypads, bathroom sinks, escalator handrails  (upi.com) (26)
(Boston.com) Sad Pedestrian killed by SUV in Tip O'Neill Tunnel. Amazingly, he wasn't hit by a Ford  (boston.com) (17)
(Cops gonna cop) Sick Sticking that video game in your waist band while trying to prevent your grandson from being injured in a Black Friday mob? You better believe that's a beating  (myfoxphoenix.com) (98)
(FOX6Now) Fail Man sends disk with child porn on it to a news station in an attempt to frame his landlord. The end result didn't turn out as he expected  (fox6now.com) (27)
(SportsGrid) Photoshop "Shocked Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader" is your Thanksgiving photo of 2011. And the only thing that might improve it would be to make it a Fark instashop contest  (sportsgrid.com) (36)
(CNN) Sick Pakistani woman arrested for her husband's cooking  (cnn.com) (73)
(CNNGo) Spiffy Deep fried donuts, soup dumplings, egg tarts, and other deliciously unhealthy Shanghai street foods to look for at your local dim sum this weekend  (cnngo.com) (31)
(Washington Post) Obvious "Twilight: Breaking Dawn" causes seizures in men  (washingtonpost.com) (76)
(Huffington Post) Fail Oh my God, it's a waffle maker. A waffle maker. A FARKING WAFFLE MAKER  (huffingtonpost.com) (223)
(Some Guy) Hero Protip: Cheat on your boyfriend AFTER you sign a consent form allowing him to tattoo anything he wants on your back  (veryweirdnews.com) (429)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop some sepaktakraw silliness   (latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com) (17)
(FARK) Obvious Fark's Weird News Quiz, the dreaded Black Friday edition. Elbow your way to the front and have at it  (fark.com) (26)
(The Local (Germany)) Unlikely After squeezing out 13 kids, huge mom has giant baby and names it "Jihad"  (thelocal.de) (125)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Sad Junk food tycoon and creator of Chun King and Jeno's Pizza Rolls heads to the great freezer aisle in the sky  (startribune.com) (51)
(The New York Observer) Interesting Manhattan store "burglarized" by mob of unruly shoppers, it is only "looting" when minorities do it  (observer.com) (70)
(Bloomberg) Scary Air France brings the term "Getting Screwed" to a new level  (bloomberg.com) (65)
(My Fox DC) Sick Landlord caught hiding in air vent to spy on naked tenants. Apparently, he's a big fan  (myfoxdc.com) (50)
(BBC) Strange Man survives brushfire by using his scuba gear  (bbc.co.uk) (64)
(News.com.au) Sad Victorian man dies in industrial accident. This is not a repeat from 1877  (news.com.au) (18)
(Guardian) Dumbass If you get your penis stuck in a ring, be reassured that the fire department are happy to help. Testicles in a chair? Sorry, you're on your own  (guardian.co.uk) (73)
(Fox News) Cool Rudderless Dutch man in a boat rescued by Brazilian seamen  (foxnews.com) (40)
(Chicago Tribune) Sad Wife of former Chicago Mayor Richard Daley dies, is not expected to miss any elections as a result  (chicagotribune.com) (34)
(Houston Chronicle) Interesting Worldwide warming not as bad as feared, Al Gore seen sobbing into his internet  (blog.chron.com) (355)
(CBS News) Amusing Woman pepper sprays other shoppers to "gain an upper hand" on Black Friday. Guess which store? No, really - guess  (cbsnews.com) (353)
(Some Mahout) Photoshop Photoshop this touchy trunk   (latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com) (11)
(Huffington Post) Silly Sue Paterno told to leave swimming pool on the Penn State campus. Before you get outraged, remember, her husband's no longer a university employee and techincally she was trespassing  (huffingtonpost.com) (218)
(NYPost) Scary Man hospitalized after being struck by LIRR train. This spells disaster for Omicron Persei 8  (nypost.com) (53)
(The Consumerist) PSA How to be less of a douchebag at work  (consumerist.com) (166)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Dumbass Man purchases venomous black mamba snake at an interstate exit in South Georgia. What could possibly go wrong?  (ajc.com) (79)
(Daily Mail) Scary Put on your tin foil hats, friends, because malls are starting to track where and how long you shop by using your cell phone signal  (dailymail.co.uk) (114)
(Daily Mail) Fail Naked and hanging from a balcony is no way to go through life son, errrrr m'am  (dailymail.co.uk) (53)

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