Hog Time Begins

Trent started the weekend out right by blasting this nice size porker up on the North end of the property.

This was followed up in the afternoon with a wild west shootout by Mark Stewart and Paul Jones that put three more hogs on the table.

(Phillip and Anders would be so proud)

Free Range Pork

In an effort to help the environment and stay healthy at the same time, I am taking the Mailrider with me down to the famous Christmas Place this weekend. We are going after some of those free ranging wild hogs that seem to be taking over the place. Hmmm.... wild hog with peanut oil. Yum, Yum!
See I can be as green minded as anyone.

Indian Artifacts

Every now and then we find Indian artifacts that remind us of the history of the area and that the Indians were here way before the white man.
Paul found this perfectly formed bird point while they were disking the Arrowhead Field.

Getting Ready

We cut and split enough wood for the winter last weekend. Almost all the fields are planted and we cut all the grass around the camp. time should speed up as we head into hunting season.

"Catfish" Is 85 Today

UNBELIEVABLE!

I could tell you about all the great buck sign we found this weekend, or how the deer are already coming in droves to our freshly planted food plots, or even how the acres and acres of turned up peanuts are attracting deer and hogs from all over the county, but the most unbelievable thing we witnessed at the famous Christmas Place this weekend was my evil brother (no the one from the coast) actually washing dishes.

I didn't know Satan even knew how to wash dishes

Calling All Banditos!

Dad walked in the office this morning. He was wearing his hunting clothes and jacket. All of his pockets were bulging with bullets and shells. He had two bandoleros of bullets across his chest, two rifles on his back and was carrying his trusty 12 gauge. He said " I think I will go down to the camp today and see what's going on." I didn't say anything. He stared at me. I stared at him. Finally I said "I guess they are harvesting the peanuts?"

How To Drive a Rich Lawyer Crazy

When dealing with my evil brothers, I am usually at the bottom of the totem pole. I bide my time, because what comes around, goes around. I finally had my chance the other day when I casually mentioned to Paul (Beezlebub) that my buddy Mark (Mailrider) and I were trying to swap our hill land in Yalobusha county for a big piece of bottom land along the river. This got his attention and the trap was set.
One thing you need to know about rich lawyers is their weak spot. Their weak spot is DUCKS. There is something about duck hunting that gets under their skin and they will do anything for a great duck hunt.
His eyes lit up. "Are there any ducks on the property?" Satan asked.
I replied "Hell yeah, the damn things are all over it. It's filled with big sloughs and water holes right there on the main flyway to the lake." He almost had a coronary.
Of course, I have no idea if there is a duck within a hundred miles of there. I haven't even seen it.
"You know I might be interested in leasing the duck hunting on that land."
We haggled back and forth until we got a good number for the lease and then he started talking about duck hunting and shooting big deer.
I reminded him at the end that the lease was for ducks only. A new price would be needed if he wanted to shoot deer and of course I told him about all the giant rubs I had seen.
Wait 'till I go look at it and start feeding him bull about the 40 gazillion ducks I see.

Grown Girls

My little girls are all grown up, now they are big, expensive pains in the patootie, but I sure love them.

Scary Stories Soon

It is almost October and I am working on a few scary stories for Halloween.This year I have been swamped and it is hard to gather the information that I need for most of the stories. Most of the people involved are dead or to scared to talk.
I have a few ideas though.
The Bell of the Tchula Racer.
A Wild Hog Eats A Lawyer (sorry, you wanted scary, not funny)
The Cold Spot
The Indian Burial Ground
I'm working but will try to get something together soon.
PS time to start getting Xmas photos in if you want me to do another Xmas Card.

Beware The 4th Of October

Dad will be 85 on October 4th.
Still driving a tractor, still tough as a pine knot, still mean as a snake.

The Call Of The Peanut

I don't understand much about pea-pickin or peanut gathering but I understand deer and hogs. The time that these two things meet is fast approaching as the 500 acres of peanuts at the famous Christmas Place are almost ready to harvest. What makes this special is that when the peanuts are picked; the first thing they do is turn them up out of the ground and let them lay about a week to dry. This should attract every varmint within 200 miles to come for a snack on our property. There ought to be a hog killin of monumental proportions then. If the farmer waits much later this could also intersect with the archery season opener and squirrel camp. Bring about 50 extra tons of ammo!
Yes, it is about to get very interesting.

Sucessful Work Camp

Lazarus-back from the dead (and now an artist)
Rex- your friendly neighborhood blogger
Paul Howell- Supervisor in absentia
Terry Cutrair- financial bookie
Hershel- the slave driving old coot
Tommy Ladner- Engineer (tractor driver in Mississippi)
Camo- Deer Hating Hell Hound
It could be worse

Off To Camp

My truck is loaded to the gunwales with wheat. Those damn deer better appreciate it. Had to load it by myself, of course. No self-respecting Evil Lawyer would dare stoop to the low of having to do physical labor.
Now all I have to do is get my things, grab Camo and off we go.
I am sure someone at camp will be glad to help me unload it. Ha-Ha, yeah, right.

Dog Words

If you own a dog, or a dog owns you, there are a few things you need to know to survive. The first one is DO NOT TEACH YOUR DOG TO TALK. Worst mistake I ever made. The second is not for your dog to figure out the meaning of diferent words. In my house you can not say the words GO, TRUCK, RIDE, CAMP or PIZZA. Last night I had to hide in the kitchen to call and order a pizza and that stupid dog figured it out and went crazy. Howling and barking at me to take her with me to get it. Whispering your order to the pizza guy is rather creepy.
If you call I will let you talk to her.

Big Work Weekend Scheduled

How come I feel like the Maytag repairman?
This coming weekend is the big camp planting weekend and as usual half the people aren't coming. Mailrider is at Vanderbilt. His son is sitting by the pool "studying". Trent will not be there as he is "politicking". Burney will be coming in late Saturday. (that's a lot of help) Haven't heard from Michael or Spencer. (girls), but Paul is coming! Of course when Paul comes to camp to work, it's like two people leaving. Camo will have to drive the tractor. Will let you know if I survive the weekend.

Squirrel Camp Letters Are Out

Spencer just loves this.

Outside Coffeeville,MS

Quiet Friday

Dad has left for camp to get things going and the office is quiet. When the appraiser is having an extremely slow week; you can bet the economy is taking another hit. I am forcing myself to go to the ballgame this weekend. They better shape up fast.
Good news on the deer front! Several large bucks have been seen grazing (like cows) on our peanuts. Damn varmints!
I have started a new story about a golf playing vampire. I know, but work with me.
Next weekend is the big work camp and possibly Rules Committe meeting.
PS no new rules.

Deer Season Looms

Now that football season is over.....
we can start concentrating on what is important. Deer Season!
This coming weekend is the time to start breaking fields and getting ready to plant. The ground should be soft after all the rain we have had and it should go quickly. If you have any special blend food plot mixtures you want me to test, please send them now. No, marijuana is not a winter grass.
Peanuts are coming along and should be ready for harvesting in a few weeks. First they turn them up and let them sit and dry for a week. There should be a hog killing of epic proportions when that happens. Will let you know what's shaking at the famous Christmas Place.

Disappointment

The Daily Mississippian has refused to run my story of the True Origin of our Famous Mascot.
If you know of another local paper that might run it, please forward it to them.

Bad Week Blues

It has been a really bad week here at Howell Realty and Appraisal. I can't tell you all of it but if I worked for the government, I would climb a water tower with my Uzi. To top it off, my brother Satan is coming to town. (No, the other one from the coast) Things should be getting better though. College football actually starts tonight when the Bulldogs just beat the hell out of Memphis. Friday night is the big Water Valley -vs- Calhoun City bloodletting and Saturday we get to enjoy the fun of the Grove with Mailrider and send those stupid BYU kitty cats back home sulking.

Mad Tuesday

Football starts Saturday with Ole Miss having a home game that afternoon and I am already mad at those damn Mormons at BYU. They are talking that talk and riding those bicycles and think they are going to waltz in here and beat us. I have news for them. We are going to let them all in, lock the damn doors and proceed to give them a butt-whipping the likes they have never seen and send their sorry butts back to soak in the Great Salt Lake. Boy, they are pissing me off.

Monday Morning Coming Down

My old friend at Charming, Just Charming uses that phrase and I understand it's implications. Here is the weekend roundup for Water Valley and the famous Christmas Place.
Water Valley won the ballgame 63-0 and I really felt bad for Coffeeville who had one of those nights where nothing went right. Our boys looked sharp and dominated the game. Should be a barnburner when Calhoun City rolls into town, PS. You would have thought we were playing those chumps at Germantown.
Dad got all the bulldozing done without loss of life. Trent got everything bushhogged. Three weeks 'till we plant and have our super WORK weekend.
Everyone is gearing up for college football this coming weekend when we will tailgate in the Grove and beat the crap out of those Mormons from BYU.
Hotty-Toddy! See you there!

Blue Devils and Pirates Friday Night

The Water Valley Blue Devils will take the field at home tonight to face their cross-county rivals, the Coffeeville Pirates, in an early game for bragging rights. Come early as a big crowd should be on hand to see us hopefully send them back to Coffeeville severely disappointed.
You can read all about it at the North Mississippi Herald and browse the rest of the paper too. Water Valley -vs- Coffeeville

A Tree Worth Knowing

On Dad's recent bulldozing extravaganza, he cut a new road along the edge of the bluff so that he and Guy Dale could hunt squirrels without having to strain themselves. He came upon this magnificent white oak tree that has survived here for a couple hundred years. He cleared out around it and hopes to plant a food plot there so he can deer hunt and suirrel hunt here too. Paul and I managed to get our picture taken in front of the giant while checking out the road. I think a big buck may be lurking near here so I better be ready to get a stand situated nearby.

Once Is Not Enough

The dust at the famous Christmas Place has hardly settled and Dad has already set up for the bulldozer to be there again this Thursday. The road leading to the GraveYard is impassable, the Creek Road is washed out and we can't get across the Beaver Dam. Dad says don't worry, he will take care of it. For all of you worried that Paul will not be able to get to his favorite hunting spots; I can assure you that Dad and the bulldozer are going to take care of that too. Paul really is the Devil!

The Origin Of Our Mascot

Early on the morning of August 22, 1864 Union General Andrew Jackson Smith, also known as “Whiskey Smith” rode his army into the little town of Oxford, MS.
His anger at the southern people was boiling over and Oxford is where he was going to make them pay for their insolence. His troops started out the day by tearing up the rails and burning the railroad depot before they systematically started looting the whole town. Stores and homes were ransacked and any resistance was met with a bullet or fire and it wasn’t long until the General ordered the burning of the stately courthouse, and then the burning of every building on the town square.
Flames and fire lit the sky as the townspeople sadly gathered to watch the destruction from a safe distance a few blocks south of the inferno as the Yankees hauled everything of value away. Late in the day, the army prepared to leave and the soldiers turned their overloaded wagons down what is now University Avenue in the general direction of Pontotoc.
A crowd of older men stood on the porch of a small house on South Lamar and watched in silence until they heard running steps racing toward them and a young boy shouted up to them that the soldiers were going to burn the University before they left. The men spoke quietly to each in their pain. There was nothing they could do.
One of the older men listened for a minute and with grim determination in his eyes, turned and hurried the few blocks to his home, called for his horse to be saddled, changed clothes and briskly rode toward the University that was now serving as a hospital.
He had changed into his blue officer pants from his time in the United States Army and put on his prized red British officers coat that he had captured in the War of 1812 and soon was riding toward the University.
Colonel Jackson Augustus Steele was a dashing figure in his fine attire, string tie, and gray cavalry hat as he rode toward the bridge above Hilgard Cut at the entrance to the University. He was an imposing figure too as observers noted the many pistols draped around him and the long rifle he carried. The Colonel was retired and too old at the time to serve in the Army but was a renowned war hero that had served and fought with General Jackson in the Battle of New Orleans in 1815, had served his country as an Indian fighter in the West, had stood with the Rebels in Texas against Santa Anna until he was wounded and missed the Battle of the Alamo in 1836 and had served as a Colonel in the War With Mexico in 1846. Now at the age of 65 he was still known as a dangerous man to be reckoned with.
A detachment of horse soldiers carrying torches soon appeared trotting their horses down the street toward the Lyceum and were surprised to see a lone horseman sitting tall and waiting quietly in the middle of the wooden bridge above the railroad cut.
The soldiers approaching took in his flinty blue eyes and relaxed commanding air as he calmly waited barring the bridge and they could also see the swelling mass of people starting to gather behind him. The townspeople of all ages had started to appear in the street leading to the Lyceum. Old, Young, Black, White, Women and Men quietly gathered carrying pitchforks, wooden staves, and bare fists in a last effort to defend the beloved buildings from being burned. The soldiers pulled up as the Lieutenant in charge rode up through the ranks of men to confront the old warrior.
No one knows exactly what was said as the two men quietly talked. Most people believe that he reminded the Lieutenant that the war was all but over and to burn a great University and hospital would be something that would haunt him the rest of his life, that he had led men in battle and sometimes to do the right thing you could not blindly follow orders and he most assuredly told the Lieutenant that he or his men would never cross the bridge alive if they continued with the insanity that they were contemplating.
Darkness was falling as the Lieutenant retired to talk with his men, but more and more of the Oxford people were moving into the street as word spread to hurry there to save the University. After a few minutes, the Lieutenant returned to face the Colonel, saluted, turned his men and they rode back the way they had come.
Years later, a drawing was made of him and attached to a football program to show the valor of the team. The tradition became part of our football history but the name of this hero was lost. He was simply known in Oxford as Colonel Jack.

08-22-1864

for all of you that keep writing and wanting to know what this is all about, I will at least give some clarification.
1.) no, it is not the date my dad got shot off his horse at Shiloh.
2.) It is not Bobby's Birthday.
3.) It has nothing to do with the age of Burney's latest girlfriend.
4.) It is not code for "PAUL IS THE DEVIL"
Keep researching, the answer is coming up in the next few days.

It's Dozing Time!

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Once again the time of the year has come when my dad gets that glazed look in his eye you need to look out for. His hands itch for action, he can smell diesel fuel in the air and he longs for mass destruction. Yes, it is time for bulldozing at the famous Christmas Place.
It does not matter how much money we have, it does not matter what any of the members think, it does not make a hoot in hell about any argument you make, he gets the bulldozer going the way he wants it done.
This past weekend he cleared a new road out along the base of the bluffs for him to hunt squirrels or maybe pop a deer if he feels like it. Then he went and increased the size of Burney's field and made a loop up to T- Field and made it bigger. In between he pretended to smooth the roads going back and forth to these areas. Stay out of his way at this time of year or you may look like a flattened tin can. Will let you know when it is safe to come visit