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Tue October 04, 2011
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(The New York Times) Interesting Sesame Street to introduce new poverty-stricken muppet. I guess living in a garbage can just isn't poor enough on Sesame Street  (artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com) (83)
(AL.com) Fail News: After inconveniencing tons of legal citizens, Alabama's tough new immigration law finally leads to the capture of a guy from Yemen, leading supporters to brag about how effective it is. Fark: He's legal  (blog.al.com) (66)
(UPI) Scary Chinese Communist Party newspaper, Global Times: Liquidate the Philippines and Vietnam for resources in the South China Sea  (upi.com) (151)
(PressConnects) Fail Reading Is Fundamental (even road signs)  (pressconnects.com) (43)
(Talking Points Memo) Followup Bernanke warns economic recovery "close to faltering". Wait, there was economic recovery?  (talkingpointsmemo.com) (167)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Man baffled after discovering that an unsolicited offer for a free massage from a stranger on Facebook could somehow result in sexual assault  (ottawacitizen.com) (25)
(Some laker Guy) Amusing Store clerk's "my bad" nets customer $25M in lottery  (savannahnow.com) (55)
(FARK) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: Create an ad for an everyday product targeted at geeks  (fark.com) (25)
(Some Guy) Asinine Farmers: "We're going to lose our farms unless you amend this law you sponsored." Politician: "Too bad"  (montgomeryadvertiser.com) (465)
(Daily Mail) Hero Spearmint Rhino boss: Strip your way to a degree  (dailymail.co.uk) (67)
(Fox 59) Dumbass Arguing that drunk driving is only a violation if you hit someone? Yeah, that'll go over well with the cops  (fox59.com) (39)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Unlikely Many women aren't sure how to feel about their breasts, and instead they try not to think about them all  (suntimes.com) (211)
(Post Star) Dumbass Man busted for selling painkillers, excessive sweating (w/pic)  (poststar.com) (22)
(National Review) Interesting National Review recommends the Eurozone take the route Sweden used out of its financial crisis. You know, sensible, socialist Sweden  (nationalreview.com) (54)
(Some Florida website) Florida Protip: When you are released from jail, don't try to steal any cars in the jail parking lot while you are waiting for your ride  (wtsp.com) (11)
(ABC News) Amusing He's finally done it. He turned the White House gay  (abcnews.go.com) (82)
(Mother Jones) Interesting FBI interrogator broke an al Qaeda prisoner with pizza. Presumably that deep-dish, tomato-casserole monstrosity they call Chicago-style  (motherjones.com) (153)
(Gwinnett Daily Post) Amusing "A Cumming man has been sentenced to serve one year behind bars for peeping over women's bathroom stalls at the Suwanee public library". Well that makes sense  (gwinnettdailypost.com) (40)
(Washington Examiner) Scary Apparently as the dog came in the door he failed to mention the bear following him  (washingtonexaminer.com) (29)
(BusinessWeek) Obvious Once again, West Virginia drivers are the nation's most likely to prepare dinner by running it over  (businessweek.com) (25)
(Slate) Strange Women still panic about whether or not the number of sexual partners they've had is low  (slate.com) (385)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Wanna stay dry in Chicago? Stand under Marilyn Monroe's skirt  (dailymail.co.uk) (42)
(Abc.net.au) Obvious Police Commissioner presents figures showing 3% of population responsible for 61% of crime, unsuprisingly some people have a problem with this  (abc.net.au) (93)
(Stuff) Strange Body of man missing 14 days found in car in ravine next to man missing six days in other car in ravine  (stuff.co.nz) (33)
(Life.com) Cool Cape Cod 1948. Activationism. Grooviest cult ever  (life.com) (23)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Although it usually works on Scooby-Doo, in real life it's hard to escape the cops using a trap door. "Deputies spotted McDonald in the crawl space under the house but could not coax him out"  (nwfdailynews.com) (12)
(YouTube) Fail Occupy Wall Street speaker: You've got to think for yourselves. You're ALL individuals. Crowd: YES. WE'RE ALL INDIVIDUALS  (youtube.com) (246)
(CNN) Followup NJ Governor Chris Christie will not run for President, anything else  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com) (147)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer) Scary Food labels may not tell you everything, like Peeps contain pork-derived gelatin. An you do not really want to know what Castoreum is  (cleveland.com) (61)
(Fox News) PSA Doing this daily could make you go blind. Don't worry men, it's not what you think  (foxnews.com) (13)
(LA Times) Sad Scientists say overfishing and climate change are to blame for a 90% drop in delicious mutated, ill-tempered sea bass  (latimes.com) (26)
(BBC) Fail Rescue search using boat and helicopter carried out after Jupiter mistaken for distress flare. Authorities excuse error, say they did not planet that way  (bbc.co.uk) (15)
(Short List) Hero 69-year-old man died doing what he loved: getting drunk, living on a small island and stalking the Queen of England  (shortlist.com) (8)
(NJ.com) Dumbass Jersey City man arrested for wearing only sunglasses and a meat cleaver  (nj.com) (10)
(Mirror.co.uk) Amusing Woman requests stripper for her 100th birthday  (mirror.co.uk) (13)
(My San Antonio) Strange Police stumped as to why woman would lie about being raped by amputee (with you'd hit it pic)  (mysanantonio.com) (80)
(International Business Times) Interesting First, scientists gave grandpa his boner back. Now, they're improving his ability to breakdance again  (au.ibtimes.com) (9)
(Short List) Fail "Amanda Knox: GUILTY." Daily Mail makes slight reporting boo-boo  (shortlist.com) (63)
(Nola.com) Fail Breaking News: 1899: Photographs debut in newspapers  (nola.com) (15)
(CNN) Spiffy Cowabunga, dude! Hawaii seeks to approve surfing as a high school sport  (cnn.com) (20)
(AsiaOne) Followup A former chain-smoking orangutan adapts to new home, gaining weight  (asiaone.com) (5)
(USA Today) Obvious USA Today explores how to avoid paying debit card fees. Next week: How to avoid eating liver, followed by an expose on how to avoid punching yourself in the face  (usatoday.com) (47)
(Come for the decapitation) Scary Bill Nelson's wife was perfect. Until she ate him. Coming to a parole board in fall 2011; in widespread release, Omaima Nelson, Maneater. "Nothing tastes as good as the man man I married. It's the sauce that does it"  (blogs.ocweekly.com) (45)
(Washington Post) Stupid A look at "peer benchmarking," the driving force behind CEO pay. Or, in simpler terms, "Performance doesn't matter when you're above average like everybody else"  (washingtonpost.com) (43)
(KGOR) Dumbass Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Interrupt a man's fishing with a military rescue operation and you might want to watch out for bullets  (kgor.com) (20)
(Some Guy) Obvious Scientists back new HGH test that goes back 21 days. Prediction: next year's Olympics the first time in two decades that no Olympic records are broken  (news.brisbanetimes.com.au) (30)
(Fox News) Obvious American and Russian scientists gather to hunt the Yeti, after which Scooby and those meddlesome kids will take off its mask, revealing it to be Pemba's sister Minga  (foxnews.com) (23)
(MSNBC) Scary If you took some time out of your drive down I-5 this morning to shoot at a patrol car, an ambulance, and two other vehicles, police would really, really like to talk to you  (msnbc.msn.com) (7)
(Some Guy) Strange Hard economic times are leading to an increase in the theft of hogs and dogs. Frogs and logs still safe investments  (wqad.com) (11)
(YouTube) Cool Bohemian Rhapsody sung by a flatbed scanner  (youtube.com) (35)
(FARK) Cool Is seeing little elves in your peripheral vision that laugh and dance normal? I'm on a conference call and they are distracting me again with their antics  (fark.com) (167)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Woman identifies her mother's body at the morgue, then goes home with it  (madamenoire.com) (18)
(The Newspaper) PSA Appeals court takes moot case -- the defendant already died -- just to set precedent that police can look at what's on your cell phone when they arrest you  (thenewspaper.com) (59)
(Chicago Tribune) Cool C.W. Marketing sent letters to people asking for them to test out new electronic gizmos like iPads, which they could keep. Apparently, the 100+ fugitives didn't know "CW" stood for Central Warrant and was a sting operation  (chicagotribune.com) (36)
(ABC News) Obvious Scientists discover that people who post drunken photos of themselves on Facebook may have real-life drinking problems. Wait till they find about my bunny fetish collection  (abcnews.go.com) (24)
(MSNBC) Unlikely Hotmail is eliminating graymail. Uh, Hotmail? Hey, anyone hear if Compuserve is upgrading their servers?  (technolog.msnbc.msn.com) (54)
(Lifehacker) Asinine Because you may still have 30 seconds of peace and quiet here or there, Congress prepares legislation allowing political asshats to robocall your cell phone  (lifehacker.com) (121)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: 5 minutes later. (Show us what happened after the in/famous image)  (farm1.static.flickr.com) (59)
(Some Guy) Dumbass "The victim said something like, 'well why don't you shoot me,' and he did.'' Alcohol was involved  (channel961.com) (9)
(Some Gal) Cool Farkette gamer chick wishes to raise awareness about the Extra Life charity event. Play Games. Heal Kids  (extra-life.org) (46)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Thousands of Chicagoans will now donate their body to science as soon as they're done voting  (chicagotribune.com) (4)
(Some Guy) Stupid Patent trolls start to sue anyone with a WiFi router, which makes subby think we should reward them with a Dick Cheney hunting trip  (patentexaminer.org) (91)
(The Local (Sweden)) Spiffy If you're ever in a Swedish prison, well, first off, lucky you, but second, be advised that it is permissible to have sex therein with a baby in the room  (thelocal.se) (26)
(Denver Post) Dumbass Asian student complains when freshman makes derogatory remarks about Asian cuisine. Freshman proceeds to beat Asian student. Was that Wong? Should I have not done that?  (denverpost.com) (76)
(BBC) Spiffy Physics Nobel goes to Perlmutter, Schmidt, Reiss, Sidious and Vader for their research into dark energy  (bbc.co.uk) (27)
(CBS News) Strange L.A.'s Wall Street protesters find no press during takeover of City Hall. Fark: so now they're attention whoring the Michael Jackson trial  (cbsnews.com) (15)
(Some Guy) Florida "A 33-year-old man who claimed to be a mixed martial arts fighter was incapacitated by a shotgun after a fight with an internet prostitute"  (cbs12.com) (38)
(azfamily.com) Spiffy The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints sees Broadway's 'The Book of Mormon' and raises it one new PR campaign  (azfamily.com) (52)
(Daily Mail) Cool Forget pumpkins. You can carve skulls from other vegetables  (dailymail.co.uk) (13)
(Guardian.com) Cool Nepalese monastery in Kathmandu is teaching nunviolence  (guardian.co.uk) (10)
(USA Today) Scary More and more theme parks are having to re-engineer their rides to accommodate girthier riders  (travel.usatoday.com) (92)
(Some Guy) Sad "High school football player hit and killed by car honored at varsity game." It seems a bit odd to have a car honored at a varsity game  (lancaster-chester.wbtv.com) (33)
(NPR) Cool How two Nobel Prize medals in physics were saved from being seized by the Nazis. Here comes the ... alchemy?  (npr.org) (29)
(Some Guy) Dumbass If the cops have arrested two of your drinking buddies for fighting the bouncers but they haven't arrested you, don't make them change their mind by punching the sergeant in the nose  (kitsapsun.com) (4)
(BusinessWeek) Scary Contraceptive injections come with a little bonus the ads didn't mention  (businessweek.com) (56)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Old and busted: Occupy Wall Street. The new hotness: teh eeevil FARKING LEAF BLOWERZZZZZ OMGWTFBBQ  (sun-sentinel.com) (104)
(Chicago Tribune) Cool Texting while biking in Chicago will soon earn you a ticket, my car door in your face  (chicagotribune.com) (93)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Teenager who brought eleven bottles of gasoline to school and then stabbed a police officer while trying to steal his gun, shakes hands and makes up. "You're a hero even to me"  (tampabay.com) (40)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Elementary school bans restaurant deliveries for students. Baby Spicoli furious  (tampabay.com) (46)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Dumbass If you're trying to by a pound of pot with three grand in fake bills, either make sure you're dialing the right number or at least check out what kind of car the guy is driving when he arrives  (startribune.com) (47)
(Yahoo) Scary Vladimir Putin wants to build new Soviet Union. Wait--scratch that. It's a "Eurasian Union." Totally different. Carry on  (ca.news.yahoo.com) (46)
(CNN) Interesting Now you know why downloading pr0n takes so long  (business.blogs.cnn.com) (79)
(Mother Nature Network) Hero October is American Cheese Month. How will you celebrate?  (mnn.com) (191)


Mon October 03, 2011
(CNN) Silly With no pretty white women in peril to monitor for now, CNN reports on what wine goes with meatloaf, Jell-O, tuna casserole, and mac-n-cheese  (eatocracy.cnn.com) (72)
(Oregon Live) Strange Remember: You're supposed to play dead if you're attacked by a bear, not a mule deer  (oregonlive.com) (79)
(Some Guy) Fail Fark shiatty editing headline of the day: "Farm Bureau estimates crap damage at $207 million"  (dc101.com) (66)
(Chicago Tribune) PSA Facebook postpones Timeline launch, says they haven't worked out the final kinks on getting all of your private information out to everyone  (chicagotribune.com) (70)
(Tembolat Gugkaev) Photoshop Photoshop this lamp storage thingy  (theluxhome.com) (32)
(Des Moines Register) Asinine Two performers cited for BOOBIES BOOBIES I SAW BOOBIES  (desmoinesregister.com) (187)
(CNN) Unlikely Defending the drone attack that killed Anwar al-Awlaki, Dick Cheney calls on Obama to apologize to Bush for criticizing his anti-terror tactics  (articles.cnn.com) (901)
(MSNBC) Scary Seven bodies dumped at bus stop in Mexico, reportedly did not have exact change  (msnbc.msn.com) (72)
(Some Guy) Interesting We've switched the blathering idiots the media chooses to have people believe represent the Occupy Wall Street movement with an articulate individual. Let's see who notices  (observer.com) (503)
(Daily Mail) Sick There was a toddler forced to swallow a spider. That wriggled and jiggled and tickled insider her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly, but the parents get jail time  (dailymail.co.uk) (81)
(Guardian.com) NewsFlash If you like crazy red heads and don't mind being killed during sex, Amanda Knox is officially available  (guardian.co.uk) (492)
(CBS News) News Massive chemical fire in Waxahachie, near Dallas. But if you're nearby, the explosions already tipped you off about it  (cbsnews.com) (109)
(Yahoo) Strange "We're sorry, the scientist to whom you are trying to award the Nobel Prize is dead. Please hang up and try again"  (news.yahoo.com) (85)
(Goal) Amusing Hoffenheim and Bayern Munich both fail to score for an entire game, unlike horny fans in the stands  (goal.com) (43)
(CNBC) Asinine Thailand employs an elite squad of computer technicians to make sure no one on the internet makes fun of stupid King Bhumibol Adulyadej, the biggest jerk in the universe  (cnbc.com) (224)
(USA Today) Stupid In its never-ending quest to reach the bottom of the well, the NFL is having Madonna perform at the Super Bowl halftime show  (content.usatoday.com) (306)
(USA Today) Stupid Okay, I'll get my child vaccinated, you needle-loving doctor man. But only if you let me use my extensive background in not knowing anything about medicine to devise my own alternative vaccination schedule  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (363)
(Pravda) Amusing Huge silicon breast saves woman from husband's knife  (english.pravda.ru) (59)
(The Atlantic) Photoshop Photoshop this strange scene  (cdn.theatlantic.com) (27)
(Fox News) Spiffy Star soccer player kicks winning field goal after being crowned homecoming queen. (with you'd hit it too...in a couple months when she turns 18...pic)  (foxnews.com) (164)
(CNN) Followup South Carolina jumps Florida in the race to get all the derp dollars   (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com) (124)
(Huffington Post) Interesting California Gov. Jerry Brown signs law preventing circumcision bans. Thanks for the tip  (huffingtonpost.com) (484)
(Toledo Blade) Spiffy Nothing builds character like your first job in high school. Making $300 to $600 an hour. Going to parties. Dancing. Pretending to be Justin Bieber. Yep, those were the days  (toledoblade.com) (54)
(NYPost) Dumbass Note to wealthy businessmen: Do not cheat on your Playboy covergirl girlfriend after giving her a blank check, she might just cash it  (nypost.com) (82)
(Yahoo) Obvious In a last ditch attempt to be taken seriously, Occupy Wall Street (TM) protestors are now dressing up as zombies. Yeah, this is totally not just a hipster party  (news.yahoo.com) (433)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Unconfirmed reports state New York psychiatrist Dr. Quazi Rahman earned $515,700 overtime in a year - by working 110 hours a week and double-charging schizophreniacs  (dailymail.co.uk) (96)
(The Sun) Sick It takes an awful lot of guts to pull off what these inmates did  (thesun.co.uk) (215)
(The Atlantic) Photoshop Photoshop this dirt digger  (cdn.theatlantic.com) (18)
(YouTube) Strange Russian speed metal band is too good not to take their act on the road  (youtube.com) (78)
(Life.com) Obvious Arguably the most efficient method of political sabotage available to the marginalized, the willful appropriation and subversion of the dominant culture's language is nothing less than a revolu ... whoa, nice rack (Not safe for work-ish)  (life.com) (382)
(The Sun) Scary Man rips out own eyes in church. The Sun is there, but he can't see it  (thesun.co.uk) (154)
(Some Guy) Strange When escaping from the back of a police car remember, it's leave the handcuffs, take your ID; not leave your ID, take the handcuffs  (chicago.cbslocal.com) (22)
(SMH) Scary "Kill Gramps for his Loot" is the game the whole family can play  (smh.com.au) (57)

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