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Tue August 16, 2011
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Chicago Tribune) Hero Starbucks CEO to other CEOs: "Stop donating to political campaigns and start creating jobs"  (chicagotribune.com) (30)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Fail Friends don't let friends rob each other at gunpoint  (suntimes.com) (4)
(AP) Fail Meanwhile in Libya, Gaddafi finally gets around to using a scud missile, and fails to hit anything  (hosted.ap.org) (23)
(Boston Globe) Spiffy Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  (boston.com) (42)


Mon August 15, 2011
(KnoxNews) Interesting It's 10 PM. Do you know where *your* child-porn downloading cop is parked and using your unencrypted router connections?  (knoxnews.com) (68)
(Toronto Star) Strange You're angry at your ex-wife. Do you: c) dump a 20 ton boulder in her driveway  (thestar.com) (63)
(CNN) Interesting CNN Money's list of 100 Best Places to Live (in the USA) has been released. Colorado won again, let the wars begin (Link goes to list instead of slideshow for your sanity's sake)  (money.cnn.com) (251)
(Yahoo) Cool The definitive guide to how to defeat anyone at "Rock/Paper/Scissors"   (news.yahoo.com) (68)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this guy and his "gun"  (3.bp.blogspot.com) (32)
(Stuff) Dumbass Woman steals $780 of Botox in her face. Suspect is expressionless. Repeat, expressionless  (stuff.co.nz) (31)
(KHOU Houston) Interesting Woman asked to stop breastfeeding in a woman only gym. "It's just eating. It's food; You don't go eat a sandwich and put a blanket over your head"  (khou.com) (176)
(Washington Post) Hero Oldest Bataan Death March survivor, who was told by a doctor not to expect to reach 50 given his war experiences, dies at 105  (washingtonpost.com) (82)
(My Fox Dallas) Dumbass Drunk, shirtless, driving a stolen forklift through city streets and throwing your empty beer cans at the police car following you is no way to go through life, son. With video goodness, of course  (myfoxdfw.com) (29)
(Gawker) Stupid Professor at religious college: "Hai kids, there's this thing called science, and........ " TERMINATION ENSUES  (gawker.com) (209)
(Some CBS Affiliate) Obvious Detroit police stop responding to automated burglar alarms since 98% turn out to be false alarms. People who live near idiots with car alarms nod understandingly   (detroit.cbslocal.com) (46)
(CNN) Interesting Want to learn more about Islam? There's a hotline for that. And, through the end of the month, lots of roadside billboards to get the word out about it  (religion.blogs.cnn.com) (160)
(Canada.com) Obvious Doctors beginning to realize that obesity is only one indicator of health, jollyness  (canada.com) (31)
(Life.com) Hero 50 years ago today, a 19-year-old named Conrad Schumann took a legendary flying leap over newly erected barbed wire and became the first-ever GDR soldier to escape from East to West Berlin. Suck it, commies  (life.com) (103)
(The Consumerist) Followup Starbucks shuts down the not-at-all-a-publicity-stunt Jonathan's Card over fraud concerns  (consumerist.com) (120)
(wistv.com) Scary Man speaks about shark bite. And I quote: "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"  (wistv.com) (52)
(Slate) Spiffy Itsy, Bitsy, Teeny, Weeny: An Illustrated History of the Bikini. Yes it's a slideshow. You'll get over it  (slate.com) (894)
(NYPost) Weird Creepiest story you'll read all day: Plus-sized model has converted her home into a silent nursery filled with handmade, eerily lifelike baby dolls she keeps carefully arranged in carriages and cribs  (nypost.com) (187)
(The Raw Story) Interesting New study shows that "mean people" earn more money. So, fark you  (rawstory.com) (119)
(TMZ) Florida Casey Anthony may benefit from the State of Florida's incompetence. Again  (tmz.com) (126)
(The New York Times) Obvious Republican congressman accuses Obama of corruption. You can see where this is going  (nytimes.com) (95)
(Txchnologist) Interesting Bre Pettis wants to be able to duplicate himself -- and just might be able to  (txchnologist.com) (22)
(Some Guy) Interesting 16 cute-but-deadly plants. Audrey II not on the list  (webecoist.com) (74)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop these women minding their business  (online.wsj.com) (26)
(The Newspaper) Followup Houston's red light cameras, which were shut down by voters then reactivated by a federal judge, are about to be shut down by the mayor then reactivated by a federal judge  (thenewspaper.com) (111)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Woman who drinks up to 28 pints a day arrested for stealing bacon. And no, I don't know what her Fark handle is  (dailymail.co.uk) (53)
(AP) Interesting Did Butch Cassidy survive the blaze of guns in Bolivia and live to a ripe old age, peacefully and anonymously, in Washington state?  (hosted.ap.org) (48)
(Miami Herald) Asinine Ihre Papiere, bitte  (miamiherald.com) (266)
(Huffington Post) Interesting New fuel sources discovered You might be running your car on things like human fat, processed dirty diapers or minced rabbit  (huffingtonpost.com) (64)
(LA Times) Obvious A South Korean, conscripted by the Japanese during WWII, wants to stop being dead now  (latimes.com) (27)
(Florida Today) Florida Ball breaker attacks man with nutcracker  (floridatoday.com) (14)
(MSNBC) Scary What's the new rage in protesting, if you're a monk in China? Why, setting yourself on fire, of course. It's been done before. But monk he see, monk he do  (msnbc.msn.com) (75)
(Washington Post) Cool Meet Andrew Robison, the man who will decide what art gets saved when the zombie apocalypse finally comes  (washingtonpost.com) (55)
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) Scary The US has a serious drug supply shortage. So don't get leukemia now, wait until next year  (postgazette.com) (72)
(Des Moines Register) Stupid If you were the person responsible for sticking a 'go vegan' sign in one of the famous butter cows at the Iowa State Fair, officials are not amused. "The butter cow represents humankind's tyranny over defenseless animals"  (desmoinesregister.com) (240)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Woman agrees to meet her ex-boyfriend in the parking lot of a Walmart in order to retrieve her short pink shorts, panties and bras from his cars. Things rapidly go downhill from there  (nwfdailynews.com) (98)
(CBS21.com) Interesting Some stories write their own headline: "Police seek ex in robbery of Big Beaver exotic dancer"  (whptv.com) (54)
(Short List) Strange Amazon CEO applies for patent for cell phone airbags. Also looks into a vibrating function for cars  (shortlist.com) (24)
(Sunshine Slate) Florida What not to have tattooed on your forehead when being arrested by police  (sunshineslate.com) (57)
(The New York Times) Cool Noted communist and dirty hippy Warren E. Buffett, on taxing the rich: "My friends and I have been coddled long enough by a billionaire-friendly Congress. It's time for our government to get serious about shared sacrifice"  (nytimes.com) (585)
(Mother Nature Network) Obvious Now they've done it: After officials shut down cell phone services to stop a protest at San Francisco's subway, their website is now the number one target for hackers worldwide  (mnn.com) (117)
(SLTrib) Stupid Daughter's 14th birthday party? Threaten the guests with a fire poker, a knife and a beer bottle and then punch your daughter in the mouth. The Aristocrats  (sltrib.com) (41)
(NYPost) Sad Give me your tired, your poor, your suicidal woman, jumping suddenly  (nypost.com) (35)
(Huffington Post) Obvious More farker, less farking. Less farker, more farking  (huffingtonpost.com) (63)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Oldest car-chase cliche in the book kills one, injures several  (orlandosentinel.com) (41)
(CBC) Spiffy Some gawmogue got his back-load of caper taken. Dem blue hat by'es will take the batty to the station, divvy up the yaffle, and put 'er deego in the shed. May as well just cut the line and go home  (cbc.ca) (75)
(News.com.au) Weird I'll see your "man trapped in elevator as it fills with water" story and raise you a "skier takes wrong turn and is chased by a herd of Hereford bulls"  (news.com.au) (39)
(Daily Mail) Followup ♫ Aruba, Jamaica I didn't wanna break ya. Bermuda, Bahama I didn't kill that pretty mama. Key Largo, Montego dammit now let me go ♫  (dailymail.co.uk) (67)
(Telegraph) Cool F1 fan receives bionic hand from Mercedes team. Afterward, teen says, "I can do everything, it is just like the real thing." (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)  (telegraph.co.uk) (143)
(The New York Times) Scary Firefighters narrowly rescue two men trapped in a stuck elevator filling with water. It's like all of subby's nightmares rolled into one convenient package  (nytimes.com) (110)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this complex costume  (online.wsj.com) (43)
(USA Today) Obvious Stinky, sweaty people have great air conditioners  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (64)
(Some Shutterbug) Asinine Chief says cops can detain photographers if their subject has "no apparent esthetic value." There goes your mom's modeling career  (lbpost.com) (238)
(Globe and Mail) Scary Putt-Putt: Serious business  (theglobeandmail.com) (51)
(Motor Trend) Asinine The administration's proposed new car mileage rules which are expected to mandate a 56.2 mpg average by 2025 will cost car buyers an additional $6714 for each car  (motortrend.com) (429)
(MSNBC) Obvious All school and no play makes kids something something  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (94)
(STLToday) Stupid High school students pass out brownies secretly laced with pot at summer band camp. Police: "It could have been an interesting band practice"  (stltoday.com) (75)
(io9) Amusing Silly Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.. Wendy's doesn't serve pizza  (io9.com) (42)
(Chicago Sun-Times) PSA It is now legal to raise chickens in Chicago. Naturally some people have a problem with this  (suntimes.com) (103)

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