Fuck it – Happy Friday!

This has been a hell of a week…

…but it is finally at an end.

Time to take some happy pills and enjoy the weekend, y’all!

Daaaaaaaaamn…

Sorry I’ve been absent, y’all.

I’ve been running around like a crazy person getting ready for my sister’s 40^th birthday weekend.

Whew.

Anyhoo…shall we?

The markets just tanked.

And by tank, I mean – TANKED.

Now all eves have turned to the…wait for it…jobs report due out today.

Jobs…employment.

You know, the shit that wasn’t addressed during the fucked up from the floor up debt drama we just went through.

Wait…that’s not entirely accurate.  The GOP manufactured FUBAR did address employment during the debt drama by instigating a partial shut down of the FAA that resulted in thousands of people being unemployed.

News came yesterday that Congress managed to strike a bipartisan deal to end the partial shut down of the FAA…

…but methinks that the world was unimpressed with the back-slapping celebration from some over linking the debt ceiling to spending cuts without any substantive policy to create jobs.

Lawd.

Part of me wants to shrug. Fuck the markets – when they soar no one wants to hire and when they tank everyone says that’s why they aren’t gonna hire.

The other part of me can’t get past the fact that Congress just shat the bed in losses to the tune of over $400 million through the FAA shut down alone. They’ll burn the house down to win an argument over the best way to put out a fire.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

This shit is enough to make a bitch quizzical – if job creation is enough to curb market woes and calm investors down, why the fuck isn’t anyone doing a damn thing to encourage the creation of jobs?

***cue the sound of silence***

Wince.

The cost of one Satan Meal Deal...

It’s the day after the deal made it through the House.

The deal is now expected to easily clear the Senate and go to the President.

With much of the agreed upon rancidity falling in 2013, I’m not as freaked out as I would have been.

My older brother is autistic and he depends on Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security…so you can bet your ass I’m going to be on the Super Committee like white on rice.

I’m trying not to think about the fact that these wretched knaves are now fixing to hold entitlement programs hostage. My father served this nation in the Air Force and worked up until the day he died at 58 years old – his son, my brother, now receives the Social Security benefit his father didn’t live to collect.

He’s entitled as hell to every dime of it.

Breath…hold…exhale.

Yeah.

Um.

So.

Here’s what is making my Afro hurt at 6:30am Tuesday August 2, 2011.

They’re going on vacation…after pitching the most immature, unprofessional, ig’nant fit I’ve seen in decades up in the people’s House…after pontificating for weeks over government malfunction and how much it costs…

…the same motherfuckers who brought us to the brink of financial ruin are now heading home to “rest” without fixing the FAA SNAFU that they created.

A SNAFU that will end up costing we the people over $1 billion dollars and has now resulted in the loss of 4,000 jobs.

Pause…allow to marinate…continue.

$1 billion dollars.

Hard working Americans furloughed…in limbo while Satan’s minions rest up…cause tantrums are exhausting, yo.

$1 billion dollars in revenue lost…to the airlines that jumped on that shit like a beagle on scraps.

4,000 jobs lost to furlough at the FAA.

The economy now destined to tighten which will stifle job creation.

A gaggle of fools elected by a gaggle of fools sitting on beaches sipping Long Island Iced Tea, gloating.

And a downgrade of our nation's credit rating still on the table.

Behold, the price of one Satan sandwich, a side of Satan fries, and a large iced Kool-Aid!

This ain’t austerity.

My people call this sabotage.

One giant step for women's health care…

Happy August, damn it!

Let’s do this.

I just heard that the Obama administration is fixing to announce that birth control will now be covered without a co-payment…

…and, like flies flocking to fresh shit, those opposed to reproductive justice are already gearing up to voice their opposition.

Unplanned pregnancies cost taxpayers $11 billion dollars a year.

Prevention saves money and would dramatically lower the rate of abortion.

One key hurdle between women and prevention is access and cost.

Birth control helps prevent unplanned pregnancies.

If we expand access to prevention by making birth control available without a co-pay…taxpayers save money the rate of abortion will be reduced.

Win!

But wait…those opposed to reproductive justice aren’t trying to hear that.

The opposition points to emergency contraception (EC)…and their never-ending intellectually lazy and totally inaccurate quest to brand it as an abortion pill. 

I know and you know that I know that you know that emergency contraception does not cause abortion…but those are facts and the anti-choice movement is nothing if not fact resistant.

I think the time has come to call the opposition out on what they are really saying – that birth control is abortion…all birth control, sans abstinence.

So it should come as no surprise that the opposition can’t speak of no co-pay birth control without bringing up the prohibition against taxpayer funds going toward abortion.

Yep…flies flocking to fresh shit.

The Obama administration is poised to answer the $11 billion dollar question pointed out in a recent St. Louis Post-Dispatch editorial…

…and the accuracy of that answer is a tremendous opportunity for us all.

There are winners and then there are the rest of us…

Shall we?

Here’s what they may have if they do have a deal on the debt ceiling…but they might not have anything because, at this point, Lawd knows who has what or when it would be done.

Brace thyself.

Damn near $3 trillion dollars in cuts.

$1 trillion up front…the rest to be rammed down the throats of the masses by a newly created committee designed to ram cuts down the throats of working people, the disabled, elders, and the poor.

A vote on a balanced budget amendment…which is a total pander to those who adore tea and will likely turn them on anyway because they have no idea what it takes to get an amendment done.

The debt ceiling will be lifted.

Revenues?

***crickets take the stage and make music***

Cough.

So, here we are…and, as this deal moves through Congress like a violent bowel movement, political pundits are pondering who wins.

Fuck it - I’ll take a stab at that!

The Tea Party doesn’t win.

If anything they just got schooled by Senate Republicans on the art of stealth fucking. Anyway you cut this, the Tea Party come out assholes…for holding their line…for caving on that line under pressure…for not being able to accept their wretched victory…for empowering traditional GOPers in the Senate by establishing complete gridlock in the House.

 

McConnell and McCain are now feasting on the flesh of a movement that has worked their establishment nerve since day one…and they made that shit look easy.

Progressives weren’t even in the game. 

Without the ability to bring about repercussions for anti-progressive behavior losing was already a foregone conclusion.

Catch that knee!

I’m not saying I like it…I’m just saying that it is what it is.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Democrats.

Well, that’s complex. When I hear "Democrat" I think defensive…and that’s truly what we’ve seen throughout this debate – a constant defense of what is without gaining any footing to push, demand, or dictate.

On one hand, the GOP just took a shit in the middle of the room and managed to convince mainstream Dems to clean it up, wipe the GOP’s ass, and then spray air freshener.

On the other hand, the President is likely to get this debt ceiling thing off the table until after the 2012 elections…serious changes to Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid have been kicked down the road for this new committee to get after (Lawd, have mercy)…and our national obligations will be met, sort of.

The House GOP.

Big losers.

Speaker Boehner holds leadership in name only…every word spoken about this legislation is accompanied by questions about Boehner’s ability to get the votes. He’s Czar Nicholas returning from the front to find revolt and the fall of his thrown just a matter of timing.

And the choir asks… “So, who wins…what was it all for…why did this have to happen…EXPLAIN!”

Pause…tilt head and frown…continue.

Who wins?

The rich.

They always do.

Hell, they are probably going to make a shit load of money…transfer the bulk of it to a Swiss account to avoid paying what little taxes they are asked to pay…and then pile the rest of it into political campaigns designed to convince voters to that Soylent Green ain’t people.

What was this for?

This was for show…for posture…for the sake of showing that a gaggle of fools can bring the nation to our knees.

‘Twas a flex…a scare tactic…our own modern version of the Cuban Missile Crisis.

If you kick a dog every time she walks past you…eventually she’ll jerk when you move your feet…ultimately, the dog will avoid walking past you at all.

This was a series of kicks.

Why did this have to happen?

It didn’t.

***members of the choir join the cricket ragtime band and sing, “In the winter in the Summer…Don't we have fun!? Times are bum and getting bummer…Still we have fun! There's nothing surer…The rich get rich and the poor get children! In the meantime, in between time…Ain't we got fun?***

  

Blink.

Extremism in the defense of tax breaks for the rich meets get your ass in line meets congressional foolishness….and at some point diluted tea is served…

Oh my!

If my autistic brother’s Medicaid, Social Security, and Medicare benefits weren’t at risk…and the economy wasn’t about to implode…and the whole world wasn’t watching Congress take a stinky shit in the middle of the room…this debt negotiation drama would be amusing.

***cuts eyes***

Let’s jump on in...Lawd, have mercy.

I’m trying to keep up with what’s what.

Ummm…let’s see…first someone started the timer on the clock.

Speaker Boehner pandered to the House caucus that adores tea by bringing the non-starter Cut, Cap, Balance bill to a vote and then a bunch of Congresspeople screened some clips from The Town and then Speaker Boehner told that tea adoring caucus to get their ass in line…but at some point he proposed his own plan…and also at some point Leader Reid (love these titles, y’all) also proposed a plan…

…gasp…

Okay, dueling plans were proposed...so the CBO scored both plans and neither plan produced what the proposers said they would…but Speaker Boehner’s plan was less deficit addressing than Leader Reid’s plan, big time…

…sip coffee, shake ‘fro, continue….

Soooooo, Speaker Boehner revised his plan and that’s the newish plan he told the caucus that adores tea to get in line and vote for today even though the Senate has said that Boehner’s revised plan is also a non-starter.

That brings us to today, a vote on a bill in the House that is a non-starter, and that tick followed by that tock coming from the We’re Going to be FUBAR!! debt drama clock.

Did I mention that the whole world is watching?

***cue blustering stern faced Congresspeople and make ready for another round of dueling press conferences***

Blink.

Breaking News – Olivette passes LGBT non-discrimination protections and a domestic partner registry…

Congrats and way to go, Olivette!

Last night, the Olivette City Council passed legislationthat includes nondiscrimination protections for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community.

These protections cover employment, housing and public accommodations.

The Olivette City Council also passed legislation that will result in the creation of a Domestic Partner Registry.

This historic legislation passed by a unanimous vote.

Olivette is a suburb of St. Louis, Missouri…and in Missouri LGBT individuals who do not live in cities with such protections can be fired, denied housing, and denied services.

Many thanks to PROMO for their tireless work advocating for the rights of LGBT Missourians.

May this serve as a reminder that an injustice to one is an injustice to us all...our struggle for equality and justice goes on.

Tis also true that a victory for LGBT Missourians in Olivette is a victory every Missourian can and should celebrate.

Fantabulous.

Olivette's nondiscrimination ordinance will go into effect immediately, however the domestic partner registry will be made available for couples starting on November 1st, 2011.

Where to start? How about at FUBAR…

Lawd, y’all…just when I think Washington D.C. can’t be more dysfunctional they go and prove me wrong, don’t they?

Let’s jump right on in!

This gridlockian debt negotiation standoff has reached level4 out of 5 on the FUBAR scale.

After watching dueling press conferences between President Obama and Speaker Boehner, I am now convinced that the Speaker had no idea his job involved herding cats and the President had no idea that the Speaker had no idea that his job involved herding cats.

Oh, and some of the cats are feral.

Mercy.

Here’s the shit that has been keeping me up at night…the cuts, the fact that many within the Tea Party caucus question whether America is too big to fail, and those cuts again.

I challenge the President’s use of “shared sacrifice” in his speech.

We the people have been shouldering the bulk of this nation’s sacrifice and President Bush doubled down on that shit when he passed tax breaks for the rich back in the day.

The only thing that’s been on the table since that motherfucker passed those breaks has been how much sacrifice the masses are going to be saddled with to continue giving rich as hell Americans a pass.

Those tax breaks have become the third rail while Social Security, Medicaid, and Medicare are now on the table…and that was before a gaggle of fools elected enough fools to form a caucus of fools who are now showing their natural ass through this current negotiation process.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

I tell y’all what, let’s just drop the shared sacrifice line…methinks it absolves the wicked and bypasses a teachable moment.

Let’s keep it real…it is time for the freak show to end, for the richest people and corporations to take a dip in Lake Sacrifice where the rest of us are already treading water…and it is time for that gaggle of fools who voted for enough fools to form a caucus that is now fixin’ to redefine FUBAR on an international scale to acknowledge that electing people to government who don’t believe in government is like choosing an arsonist to house sit while you're on vacation.

Ugh.

I just want to shake them all…and then banish them outside where it is at least 150 degrees.

Maybe that’ll bake some sense into their asses…

Blink.