It started with a pair of impractical, strappy sandals with very high heels. Fracas bought them while on holidays. Now, because shoes are like potato chips, this led to looking at more shoes. Nice shoes. Pointy-toed-look-who-means-business shoes. Fracas loves pointy-toed-look-who-means-business shoes, only fracas is also very practical; wearing pointy-toed-look-who-means-business shoes at home just seems silly. At home, everyone knows fracas means business, even if she’s wearing floppy bunny slippers.
There was only one logical solution; fracas needs to work outside the home.
And so, the search began.
I have to say, looking for work in Fracskatchewan has been a bit of a challenge. It’s not that fracas has no skills. Nay, fracas does indeed have many skills… a vast array of skills, to be clear. Fracas also has criteria… with the most important criteria being the appropriateness of wearing pointy-toed-look-who-means-business shoes at work.
This first job seemed promising. I was sure to get a ton of tips from all those folks who weren’t brave enough to frac with someone wearing pointy-toed-look-who-means-business shoes, and so I was more than a bit miffed when the manager refused to hire me. If you can believe it, he said it was experience as a waitress they meant; my (more than) 20 years of experience at being 18 didn’t count for frac all. I had no choice but go back to the paper.
Although this next job seemed like a rather easy paycheque, and I’m sure they wouldn’t care if I was wearing my pointy-toed-look-who-means-business shoes… it also seemed to have one really important drawback. You see, fracas has always been very artistic by nature and, well… using pre-manufactured molds would no doubt leave me feeling very stifled. Creatively speaking that is… I scratched this one out and kept looking.
My goodness, looking for a job is such tedious work!
I thought I’d stumbled upon the answer when this ad appeared. After all, every good photographer knows that a pair of pointy-toed-look-who-means-business shoes, displayed correctly when exiting a vehicle, make a lady’s gams look great! What could be wrong with this job? I could wear the shoes, look fabulous and yet not have to tire out the old toots! It seemed perfect until I read the remainder of the ad, whereupon I began to think the world was conspiring against me. Pointy-toed-look-who-means-business shoes might make fracas look all bad-ass and all, but truthfully, fracas does not have a criminal record.
Foiled again!
I wondered, “Is there ever going to be a job for me in Fracskatchewan?”
It was after I’d come across this next ad, that I knew I needed to appeal to my readers for help. I know, I know… this job did seem to fit. Could I wear the pointy-toed-look-who-means-business shoes? Check. Did I have the job skills required as listed in the advertisement? I thought so…
There was only one thing wrong.
I’m a jealous person. I want to be the person who wins the money, not the person who helps someone else win the money. I realized this wasn’t the job for me either, but at that point, there didn’t seem to be any other jobs left to choose from.
I decided I needed to do some personal reflection and take stock of what I really enjoy doing, and what I kept coming back to was this.
Writing.
Entertaining people.
So dear readers, fracas is asking you to do her a favour. If you have ever enjoyed reading here, please take a few minutes to pop off a note to one of the following, with (hopefully) a glowing endorsement of why they need me to write for them… you know… in an office… where I can get dressed up every day and wear my pointy-toed-look-who-means-business shoes. [1]
I truly thank you.
[1] If you’re new here, please do check out some older posts or the other bits and pieces here first. I would never ask for an endorsement that wasn’t sincere.
You might choose to write to:
1. The Saskatoon Star Phoenix
2. Regina Leader Post
3. Edmonton Journal
4. People Magazine
5. Slate Magazine
