Drew Curtis' FARK.com

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Not News Sports Business Geek Showbiz Politics Music Video All

Sun May 22, 2011

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
(Time Out Chicago)		Artisanal doughnut hole-in-the-wall becomes Chicago sensation, with local eaterati standing 50-deep in line for 56 minutes to buy $3 glazed five-star confection (timeoutchicago.com)	(5)
		I said, VIAGRA CAN MAKE YOU GO DEAF (ktla.com)	(16)
		Mahmoud Ahmadinejad accuses Europe of stealing rain clouds to keep Iran in a drought.....just before it starts to rain (telegraph.co.uk)	(45)
		Police are outraged that traffic has become faster and safer since the Ohio Turnpike speed limit increased (cleveland.com)	(65)
(Some Tardigrades)		Photoshop this moss piglet (4.bp.blogspot.com)	(18)
		Family of 9/11 victim still trying to bring real killer to justice (bostonherald.com)	(36)
(Times of Oman)		About that selah to Saleh... um, not so fast there, Skippy McProtestor (timesofoman.com)	(15)
(Pew)		4 in 10 Americans believe the second coming of Christ will occur by 2050 (people-press.org)	(202)
		Pope makes first-ever phone call to bless astronauts. He says even though Catholics in space are weightless, they still need mass (chron.com)	(46)
		Parents shocked, SHOCKED, to discover that the women teaching their children do not spend out-of-school hours cloistered in a nunnery (dailymail.co.uk)	(127)
		William and Kate actually wed in Kenya (dailymail.co.uk)	(38)
(KOTV)		Not news: Guy leads cops on 20 mile high speed chase. Fark: While driving an 18 wheel fuel tanker. Bonus: His name is actually Rocky Nail. w/ vid (newson6.com)	(50)
		Photoshop this covert canine (inapcache.boston.com)	(25)
		The Rapture as told by the Taiwanese current-events CGI people. The ending is perfect (youtube.com)	(119)

Sat May 21, 2011

	Researchers find whales speak in accents to their extended family. Scientists listen by use of podcast (cbsnews.com)	(48)
	Ten biggest money wasters: Come for the cigarettes, stay for the gym memberships (money.cnn.com)	(408)
	New rules will enable Americans to travel to Cuba, ruining it for other tourists (news.yahoo.com)	(171)
	Chicago Fark Party tonight : Lincoln Tap Room - 8PM - Post-rapture looting to follow (fark.com)	(38)
	Photoshop this sensitive particulate air sampler (technologyreview.com)	(20)
	With his long-predicted doomsday at hand and seemingly fizzled out, what does Rev. Camping have to say for himself? Kinda hard to tell since his radio network is playing recorded music and nobody is answering the phone at his offices (reuters.com)	(495)
	"Do you think my wife is hot?" (theglobeandmail.com)	(103)
	Everything's bigger in Texas including the number of students a teacher has sex with at once. Yes, there's a pic. No, you wouldn't (dailymail.co.uk)	(109)
	Disco returns to Britain (dailymail.co.uk)	(26)
	Official Fark Rapture thread. Make fun of the fundies, share your bucket list, post some Blondie, we don't care. BYE BYE CRUEL WORLD (@6 PM) (fark.com)	(1196)
	Seven years later, the Mars rover 'Opportunity' is still chugging along, slightly exceeding its expected 90-day original mission (marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov)	(101)
	Volcano in Iceland just started erupting, triggering over 50 earthquakes. And so it begins (usatoday.com)	(146)
	After Tuscon, Egypt, Libya, Japan, and Osama, the press has run out of the cash needed to cover breaking news. So if the world doesn't end tonight, prepare for a boring year (newsweek.com)	(26)
	Teenager fakes insanity to beat 5-7 year sentence. Twelve years later he tells his tale from Britain's most notorious asylum (guardian.co.uk)	(151)
(Some Guy)	Parents decide to hide their baby's gender and raise it as "genderless" until it is old enough to decide for itself. Chaz Bono must approve (parentcentral.ca)	(296)
	The latest despotic country to ban demonstrations, which are occurring anyway is (shakes Magic 8 ball) Spain. Spain? WTF? (cnn.com)	(68)
	These days colleges work hard to make sure snowflakes have plenty of resources available to them. Like video games for your master's thesis on hooker behavior in Grand Theft Auto (suntimes.com)	(44)
	"My first thought when wading into the cool, clear water: Was this a mistake?" (chicagotribune.com)	(34)
	...and the 2011 Ric Romero Award for "Most Obvious Scientific Study" goes to ... [ opens envelope ] (news.yahoo.com)	(29)
(Some Guy)	Photoshop these charades (youphil.com)	(20)
	Flying robots armed with tiny laser guided missiles. That is all (wired.com)	(53)
(wtsp.com)	Debra LaFave, the hottest teacher ever arrested for illicit boy lovin, is pregnant. With twins. And you'd still hit it (wtsp.com)	(64)
(Some Guy)	Parents shocked, SHOCKED, to discover that teachers don't give a crap about teaching once the state tests are completed (blogs.trb.com)	(90)
(Some Hungry Guy)	Students prepare chickens for unauthorized school cookout. Unfortunately we have in our society people who want to make a news story out of everything (wtov9.com)	(50)
(Mount Airy News)	"Otis" arrested outside of Mayberry Country Store for heinous crime of playing checkers. That's some fine police work there Barney (mtairynews.com)	(67)
	I'm not drinking that. It's chick beer (cnbc.com)	(120)
	Princess Beatrice's FSM hat reaches £75,000 on eBay. Combined postage discount if you buy her mother at the same time (bbc.co.uk)	(50)
(Some Guy)	From the Institute of the Blindingly Obvious, fatherhood will make you unhappy (manzine.org)	(104)
	No clever headline, just a woman getting 12 years, no parole, for selling $30 worth of pot. Pay no attention to the real crimes (reason.com)	(432)
	Woman selling supposed moon rock on eBay caught in a sting operation by NASA. Of course, THEY know it's a fake (latimes.com)	(86)
	The first cloned "Copy Cat" celebrates her tenth birthday, just in time for Caturday (mysanantonio.com)	(845)
(Some Guy)	Not news: School wants to hold prayer at graduation. News: Atheist student asks them not to, school cancels prayer. Fark: School's senior advisor openly mocks the student, does it anyway. This should end well (friendlyatheist.com)	(585)
	Teaching tip: If you yell at a junior high school student in Florida, don't drink your coffee (torontosun.com)	(22)
	Holy Christ. It's really happening. The world is being torn asunder. Christians are ascending into Heaven, demon spawn are feast.. ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ THAT MUST BE GENE GENE THE DANCING MACHINE (youtube.com)	(132)
(Some Squirrel Kabob Guy)	"There are plenty of squirrels in the world. You can stand to eat a few." Fark squirrel NOT pleased (wmtw.com)	(65)
(Some Guy)	Yet another sign of the End Times: the three ugly-ass albino baby raccoons of the Apocalypse (theweathernetwork.com)	(12)
	The Revelation will be televised (news.yahoo.com)	(160)
	Photoshop this cone phone of silence (msnbcmedia.msn.com)	(20)
	Marine awoken by his wife saying a man with a gun is in the yard. Man grabs his rifle to defend his family, with unexpected results (abcnews.go.com)	(649)
(Some Guy)	If the apocalypse happens today, NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg will suspend alternate side parking. (Meter rules will still be in effect) (wnyc.org)	(86)
(Some Guy)	Not News: Students pull prank in last days of school year. Still Not News: Spread 30 bales of hay in the hallways. Fark: Cleanup expected to be more than $100,000 (denver.cbslocal.com)	(118)
	British man parks his penis in his living room. The Sun is there (thesun.co.uk)	(55)